• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago

ocalhoun


I am not contained between my hat and my boots.

E

Rainbow discovers that she has a pest problem in her house. The pest turns out to be both cuter and more annoying than she expected.


A winner of the 2015 Bat Pony writing contest.


Russian translation by KoylanGOLD
Also read: The Most Annoying House Guest

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 280 )

Aww, that ending was really cute. Also, Scoots would be mad jelly.

6626662
Yeah, nobody tell Scoots!

Awww. So cute.

Adorable.

Can I make it headcanon that Batty is directly related to Batsy Fluffentuft?

This is precious.
Sequel?

Wait til Scoots meets this little Munchkin

Adorable! Great work! :twilightsmile:

I'm gonna give this a read later. Don't have the time now, sorry.

6630800
The bit about his sister eating all the bat treats made me instantly think that he was Batsy's little brother.

MOAR! good story. continue please?

“You can let go of me now, Rainbow.”

You added an extra space.

Great story though! I'm only slightly biased...

My god, my diabetus got diabetus from this.

I d'awwed. Also, fluffy names are best names.

6630786
6630845
6630858
Thanks, I try! ^.^

6630800
6630895
You surely can. I like the sister theory.

6630801
Um... I'm not really planning a sequel.
Eventually, Twi will bring his parents in, and they'll take him home, and they're not likely to see each other again after that.

6630829
Romance? ^.^

6630852
I hope you enjoy it when you get to it!

6630911
I don't know about continuing it...
I've got so many commitments for continuations already, and I don't know where I would go after this.

6630953
Oops, heh, fixed the double space.

6631011
No refunds, read at your own risk.

6631064
I'm starting to believe so...

Well, I think my blood sugar just spiked pretty high.

Heh, well done Ocal.

6631089
Heh, thanks! ^.^

6631160
Oh jeez.
But if I do that, half the readers will die of diabeetus!

AAHH, WHERE IS THE INSULIN?!?!

“So help me Goddess, you are going to at least try one bite after I put all that effort into making it.” It hadn't really been that much effort, but it was the principle of the thing now.

God, she sounds just like a real mother.

I liked this all the way up until the ending, specifically the part where Twilight suggests that the parents of the runaway colt not be reunited with him, even though he's been missing for a couple of days or more. Running away would have stressed the colt's parents out to no end, and to have some stranger (Twilight) suggest that they should let their colt play with some mare they've never met before is way out of place and would never happen in real life.

I suggest that you revise the ending a little bit. Instead of having them wait to get their colt back, I think you could have ended the story by having the parents walk in and tell the colt it's time to go home, and that they've been worried sick about him ever since he ran away. Naturally, the colt is disappointed, but then he hopefully asks if he can come back and play with Rainbow. The parents look at each and say that can happen. Story ends with the colt climbing on his mother's back with him waving goodbye to Rainbow.

Overall, 8/10. Bat ponies acting cute is the best thing ever.

6631200
Hm, maybe fair enough.
I kind of think that ending would be a bit too cliche, though. A bit too pat and predictable.
Maybe instead, Batty would cling to Rainbow and refuse to let her go?
I don't know... but, eh, at this point, I think I'll just stay the course and leave it how it is. I'm not really in the business of doing major edits to stories post-publishing anyway.

6631198
Insulin is only provided for my Patron supporters. :twilightsmile:

That was freakin' adorable. Good job!

6631221
Thanks, I try. ^.^
What was your favorite part?

6631222
The part where Batty refused to eat the cereal and Rainbow was getting annoyed. For me that was the best part. I also liked when Batty called Rainbow 'Blue Mommy' :rainbowlaugh:

If I had a job, I would give your patreon on da money.
*Fan gurls silently into corner and dies*

*re-reads fic as ghost*

I really like this story: Instead of some angsty story about some abused orphan, we get a story about some hot-blooded colt bonding with RD.

6631084 A very charming story, well done. :heart::rainbowlaugh:

Nice.Very nice.

Aww. So cute. :rainbowkiss: I'm curious to read your other stories now. :twilightsmile:

Well, this certainly helped me fill my daily cuteness quota. Have a like and a 'stache!
:moustache:

6631166 Don't you mean Daaaw'abeetus?

6626677 But that should totes be the sequel! He and Scoots meeting and hanging out and stuff. X3

Una

Simply adorable!!!:heart:

I love bat ponies. They're so cute. Who woulda thought that Luna's bat ponies could be more adorable than Celestia's normal sun ponies? :twilightsheepish:

“Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling.”

What a name, wowza!

Awww this was so flipping cute I loved it! Awesome work!
Now I know why I follow you for reals... cause you rite some cute shit.

6631084

Eventually, Twi will bring his parents in, and they'll take him home, and they're not likely to see each other again after that.

...
Ow... my heart :fluttercry:
Don't let it be so!
;n;

KEEP IT UP!
//Cries because story idea//

Dan

6631634

Well-before "Echo" became popular on /mlp/, there was Midnight Blossom by EquestriaPrevails and her derivatives Angel Beats in The Golden Armor and Lethe in A Slice of Life, as well as Sunshine Smiles and Frolicsome Medowlark in Moonstuck.

Batponies have always been cute. Even among people who spread cruel gossip about them drinking blood.

Kids are silly :P

Now that I've recovered from the overload of cute I need to award you much bonus points for not making the kid some sort of orphan or from an abused home of sorts.

6631528

Thanks, I try. :twilightsmile:

What was your favorite part?

Where Batty first calls Rainbow, "Blue Mommy!" :rainbowderp:

first fluttershy now this kid how long will i last against the cuteness

I'm SO glad this was featured, it's adorable! :pinkiehappy:

This is going straight into my favourites ^W^

Twilight raised one eyebrow. “Your house has been infested by Apple family product placement?”

The most annoying infestation indeed.

I really love how you always give these guys the fluffiest names, by the way. It's just adorable.

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