• Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

chief maximus


Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.

E
Source

Rainbow has a fever. Unfortunately for her, the cure is not simply 'more cowbell'. It's up to Twilight and Rarity to figure out a cure, and bring their friend back from the brink of birdom.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 113 )

Very nice to see you expand on the idea of Rainbird Dash, in a really interesting way, too.

Image is by NCMares, by the way.

...Wat. :rainbowlaugh:

"That's right, this is Rainbow Dash's property now!

Missing end quotations.

overshadow her motivation to help her friend. You're going

Missing more quotations.

"That's doctor Gilda," she corrected, scribbling something on the pad.
"Sorry, doctor," she parroted.

"Princess of friendship, more like princess of fun hating,"

Titles need capitalization. 'Doctor' 'Friendship'

"Where has fluttershy been this whole week?"

Fluttershy

Some of the dialogue sounds broken(if that makes sense). Hard to give good examples other than when RD speaks. Intentional?

This was a fun read

I wonder what Dash would have done for a mating dance haha

Unfortunately for her, the cure is not simply 'more cowbell'.

And this is where my suspension of disbelief got shattered. There is absolutely no way anything can't be cured with more cowbell.

Shattered, just like how ice breaks.

Pegasi doing bird things are always good for a laugh. This was a fine example of that. Thanks for a most amusing story.

Reminds me of Hyzaku's Twilight's Bird Feeder, which is a five-star favorite of mine.

Too bad Discord. If it only run a little longer, maybe he would have gotten a snackish princess on a state mandated diet...

6528852
Speaking of, I haven't pestered him about that lately... >.>

Dash snorted. "I don't think so. I'm not getting dragged into your basement while you do those weird experiments on me!"

It's wise to avoid Twilight's science mode.

That description made me laugh.

Pegasi acting like birds is one of my favorite art memes. Thanks for this pile of silly!

Well played. :rainbowwild:

I don't know that I've ever seen a story that pulled this kind of thing off so well before.

Plus, Bird-Horse shenanigans are hilarious.

Sapient, not sentient. Dogs are sentient, People (or ponies in this case) are sapient. But otherwise, quite the fun little story.

Yeah, could have seen who was behind it all :rainbowlaugh:
Good story though! Gave me a few good chuckles.

Bird horses gonna be bird horses.

Also, am I the only one not surprised by the culprit being Discord?

One thing that probably keeps me from unleashing an army of sentient clothes to enslave the whole of ponykind in fashionably forward subjugation

I would totally read that.

I'd totally write that too, if I had any sort of storytelling skills.

"Sorry, doctor," she parroted.

Oh, you.

This was fun. :twilightsmile:

6528852 Too bad he hasn't updated it in nearly two years.

6528024 Something like this I imagine.

That was hilarious :rainbowlaugh: upvoted.

That said, and it's a minor point, but I would have gone with something other than the A Wizard Discord Did It ending. I was expecting the reveal to be something like that Rainbow Dash had a one-night stand with a griffon while in Canterlot, and now her indiscretion is going to be in all the biggest medical journals in Equestria :derpytongue2:

This was cute and funny.:yay:

Meanwhile, on the other side of Ponyville:

Doc: Why, hello there, Dinky! How are you today?
Dinky: I'm fine. Mom's acting a little weirder than normal, but it's nothing worth mentioning.

It's rare that a story actually has me laughing audibly as I'm reading it. Kudos!

Dash was hanging upside down from her perch, shrouded in her wings like a bat, her pupils dilated to saucer-like proportions. "Do you guys ever wonder, like, who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?"

Well Rainbow's flying high now.

RAINBOW WANT A CRACKER?!

I believe this is worth mentioning.
i2.imgflip.com/slpy7.gif

Why are you so grand mr maximus

6531195 it's both a gift and a curse

6531206 ahh, the gift of genius... so beautiful, yet so harsh...

I cannot favorite this hard enough!

Amusing, but this feels a little rushed.

"So you see, even though it's more common in griffons, it can manifest itself in pegasi as well, though the department of health has taken steps to eliminate the number of cases in Equestria."

And then, just a few paragraphs later:

"Yes! This is the first documented case of it happening to a pegasus!"

Then how did anyone know it could manifest in pegasi?

There are also a few quotation errors.

"Why?" Tthe curious filly asked.

And some clarity issues.

"Spike, can you come in here please?"
Rarity raised an eyebrow as the young dragon strolled into the room with his apron on. "Is this urgent? My soufflé has like, five minutes until it's done."
"It'll be quick, I promise," Twilight said. "I need you to take a letter."
"Who are you writing, darling?"

It took me a second to realize that was Rarity, not Spike, as there was no attribution.
:moustache: Milady.

I don't mean to nitpick, because I do like this story (I particularly liked the bit with the mirror :rainbowlaugh:), but you might want to check it over a little more.
Thanks for the fun read!

"This is cruel and unusual, Twilight!" Rainbow protested, flapping madly inside the cage. "We never locked you up when you were sick in the head!"

"Although we probably should've!"

Goddammit Discord!

6531965 I fixed the first item. That little mix up was actually the original direction I was going to take the story, then decided to make Dash the first recorded case, and missed that paragraph during my revision. Fixed the other stuff too, and also, thanks for reading it!

6529885 This happened. Dash is a little piggy.

Notice that even Dash mistook her reflection for a male? :D

6530741 Mama's gonna worry I've been a bad bad boy

6531993 Sure thing! Like I said, it was a fun little read. :twilightsmile:

This was a little rushed, a little clunky, but overall it was still a good story with a very interesting premise. Mandated "C".

"And by the way, I'm not cheap."

No, she's cheep.

(Ok, that was a cheep shot.)

-_-

The 'where am I' cliche killed this comedy for me.

PFFFFFTTT, AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Alright, I could harp on the rushed and clunky delivery, but that's been harped on enough. I always love a good story about a gradual descent into madness. Loved that bit with Gilda arguing with Bird-Dash, particularly because of a friend of mind who owns a particularly foul-mouthed African Grey who loves to call everyone a "F*&%ing C*nt" and declare himself a "F*%^ing Legend". Couldn't help but think of those two arguing while reading this.

You're going to be the first documented case! Isn't that exciting?"

Missing a quotation mark here.
That was so funny, my new favorite rainbow short, though I wonder what other musings she has when she's high?

There's a bird looking at me, I think he wants a fight. Gimmie a sec'

6530851 6530014 Yeah probs, thats what I had in mind


... as long as it was for Mac though hey Jake ;)

brilliant. just perfectly brilliant!

6530851 You'll notice that mating dance is WORKING, though - she's slowly popping a wingy! XD

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