• Member Since 21st Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen Tuesday

kingfish


I write horse words.

Comments ( 11 )

I've got one thing to say about this... BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!:rainbowlaugh:

Fluttershy sat down in front of Twilight. "I was possessed by a demon who wants to take over the mortal realm." Twilight glanced up at the clock on her wall.

"Wow," Twilight said, "is it Tuesday already?"

There is no Fluttershy, only U'tharkus...

For U'tharkus the Ruthless, this was the day of his triumph, his worldshattering conquest of the mortal realm, the one moment his centuries worth of planning should have come to frution.

For Twilight Sparkle however, it was just Thuesday.

Eh, cool premise, but you really should have gone further with it.

The mighty demon, expelled instantly for kicking Angel? Just felt rather anticlimactic, and not even in a funny way.

You really should have done at least one or two more ponies reacting to Fluttershy in her possessed state. Right now, the demon just comes off as rather spine-less; even in comparison with The Stare.

Every Tuesday, we have an adventure.

5902273
I know.:ajsleepy: I tried writing a part where possessed Flutters was interacting with Rarity, but I ran into a number of problems.

1. I couldn't even think of a good reason for U'tharkus to leave the cottage. I understand I could have used the whole "conquering the realm" thing, but I couldn't think of anything more specific.
2. The humor with Rarity felt rather forced as I was writing it, and I just didn't have the patience to polish it like I probably should have.
3. I couldn't really think of very many jokes for the conversation with Rarity, even forced ones.
4. I really needed to hurry it along, as I felt that I was rather overdue for a new story anyway, so I decided to lean a bit more toward speed and a bit less toward quality.

In addition, I seem to be losing my touch lately. Instead of writing, I've kind of just been floundering to come up with any halfway-decent wordage. I was kind of lucky that I got this out as soon as I did.

I wonder what would happen if your demon teamed up with mine!:pinkiecrazy: We should totally do a collaboration story!:pinkiecrazy: Good story by the way! Have a like.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/177913/pinkie-pie-gets-possessed

Was it the machine that takes ghosts from the poltergust 3000 and turns 'em into paintings?

Comment posted by Meadow Feather deleted Oct 11th, 2015
Comment posted by Meadow Feather deleted Oct 11th, 2015
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