This story is a sequel to Blink
Teleportation is a mysterious thing. Is it as simple as it looks, or is it really just some copy that appears to take your place? The latter, it's definitely the latter. Too bad there is no way to know without trying it yourself. Now, stuck in a death-filled place with no magic and only her double for company, Twilight faces starvation and worse unless she can escape. But how does one escape without magic? Most would say you can’t.
Unofficial sequel to Blink by ocalhoun and one of its prequels, Not The First, by Flash Notion. A timeline was created by Cocoa Bittersweet to keep track of all stories within the Blinkverse.
Chapters (21)
chef's kiss
nice
Where did you get that picture? Looks Awesome! Could work as a flag.
10305482
I made it in MS Paint a while back to act as the flag of one of the nations in a tabletop roleplaying game I was running. So, you're right on the money with that one. I think I copy and pasted some elements of it from google images though, such as the shape of the solar flare. Oh, and the normal version of it uses gray instead of red, but I recolored it for this image here since red fit better with the themes of the story.
Take my like! I'm enjoying this story already :3
10306143
Thanks! I should have chapter 3 out before I go to bed tonight.
I see what you did there.
10307583
I try. ;)
Edit: For those wondering, the author's note originally mentioned me writing chapters in bitesize chunks. I have since removed this as it is not as true now as it was then.
Poor light
Poor girl.
hah, don't :)
Okay, I’ve finished a rough outline of the story, something I’m never able to do until I get at least a few chapters in. It looks like I will be shooting for around 20 chapters in total with an estimated word count of maybe 30,000 to 35,000, assuming my math isn’t way off. Also, in accordance with my future plans, I’m going to have to go ahead and add the “Violence” warning tag.
EDIT: Yep, I underestimated the word count. It will probably be at least 10 or 15 thousand more than I guessed here.
I think the darkest thing about this story is that, the way it's set up, there's no promise of a good ending. In many stories, the stakes are simply too high for a bad ending to be at all satisfying - but here, the only things at stake are duplicates of our favorite characters, so who's to say that it matters whether they live or die? We could be watching princess purple pone's gradual descent into madness, or worse...
10370623
Yep, and that descent into madness is exactly what we saw in Flash Notion's Not The First. As for whether the ending will be happy, tragic, or bittersweet, I have tried to leave as few hints as possible in any given direction. For instance, in the description, I only confirm that she will look for an escape, not that she will actually find one.
To be honest, my outline actually allows for any one of the three aforementioned endings. Even I haven't decided for sure which will become true, though I have some inclinations. If necessary, I can always add the tragedy tag later on should I decide to go that route, though it would spoil the ending.
All of that said, given what I wrote in Harmony Doesn't Knock, I think some people might riot if I give Sweetie Belle the same kind of ending I gave Snowblossom. It turns out, people don't like foals dying. Who knew? shrugs
Love this
Reminds me of the Black Jewels Trilogy.
10414682
Thanks! I’m not familiar with that series, so I guess I’ll have to look it up.
10414732
Has absolutely nothing to do with ponies. Author died a few years ago... they might not be in print.
10415044
I looked it up, and it’s definitely still possible to get it. Maybe I’ll pick it up one of these days, but more likely, I’ll probably just keep on reading Brandon Sanderson and going back through Wheel of Time.
Do I sense an Indiana Jones reference?
10435609
Yup! I normally wouldn’t think to do that, but I just watched the movie and this is Daring Do, after all. I’m honestly kind of surprised it was pointed out so quickly, but then again, I guess people know their Indiana Jones.
10435700
It was a particularly memorable exchange :)
10435740
I suppose it was at that. Good job for pointing it out. I should have known the one Indiana Jones reference would be mentioned long before the copious amount of Jade Empire references.
Honestly, it was only on my most recent viewing that I realized the Nazi was referring to Jews when he said, “Donated by some of the finest families in all of Germany.” Somehow, I missed that as a kid.
10435756
I actually have Jade Empire but have never got around to playing it. Now I'll be looking for the references to it :)
I missed that reference too, though it's been a long time since I watched it.
10435759
Oh, Jade Empire is one of my favorite games ever. Of all time. Believe me, the references to it here aren’t even trying to be subtle—though with the exception of a certain arena alias, they are mostly centered around a particularly magnificent bastard.
communism, like most government types, works in theory.
The problem lies in the practice. According to the Wikipedia (and i quote); "...namely a socioeconomic order structured upon the ideas of common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money and the state."
Which... to me... is a decent way to live. But. Social class and state can't quite leave the door; which is how the system fails. Someone has to be in charge (or perhaps we think someone has to in charge) to keep things moving on a country wide scale. Otherwise it quickly devolves into anarchy; a peaceful one if everyone behaves. Which means every communist state has both a social class and state.
It can work on the small scale. In a small village all the farmers, butchers, weavers, potters ect stockpile everything at the center of town. Then everyone can have access. Still problems. What if there is not enough for everyone? Does no one get it until that is yes? Who settles disbutes? Ect ect...
So i can see this working in a post scarcity society (like Star Trek with their replicators) to ensure everyone always have everything equally with A.I overlords to replace the state/class but we are no where near that level.
History speaks for itself...
The soviets lasted... 50 years? As communists. It can't work now, might of worked long in the past and our imagination can think of it working in the far future.
10437427
You know you are not required in any way to read and/or comment on anything?
10437464
Of course, but I appreciated what you had to say, found it insightful, and wanted to add my own thoughts. I included the last bit so anyone with issues might message me directly. That way, this comment section can stay mostly on-topic, or at least avoid topics likely to inflame.
I apologize if I came off as hostile. That wasn’t my intent.
Edit: I decided to delete my earlier comment. It’s probably better I don’t get into such things.
10437484
Please tell me they eventually find a way out, there had to be.
Killershy begins!
You know at somepoint I am half expecting this story to end by Discord popping in the blink bubble inside the Tardis.
10562678
As funny as that would be to pull on you guys, it would feel to me like taking a sledgehammer to the story then setting the manuscript on fire. All that work, wasted.
10562678
Not sure Discord can help. Chrysalis's throne worked on him. He might trap himself.
10562813
It would make for a great april fools joke if you are still writing by April. I remember a Naruto Fanfic did a hilarious gag where in the much awaited arrival of Naruto in the Land of Whirpools, he accidentally journeyed to Equestria instead. So many people were mad. And he left the chapter up too, but posted the real chapter on the next day.
This is one of the few horror stories that I feel actually works as a story. A lot of "horror" stories on Fimfic that I've come across were just gore filled messes that gave a strange reason for having the cast of cute ponies devolve into murder happy cannibals. There's an actual story here about the ramifications of doing things the "easy way" and showing the audience how the protagonist can deal with a sudden amount of reasonable guilt that's shoved into their faces. The best part is that the death doesn't cover the story of these characters, it accentuates the mistakes and decisions they've made and will make.
This isn't a gore fest that fetishizes the death of characters for shock value, it's a story about guilt and regret over the mistakes made through ignorance and naiveté. There's death in here and dead bodies, but it's purposeful to moving the story and building the world. The bone tools aren't there because, "Oh my gosh, isn't this creepy too," they're there to show how this dimension works and what the rules are. Same applies for the cannibalism, it's not there for shock it's there for world building and answers questions like, "How long can they live off of flesh? If they're transported there, is there still cellular life? What are the psychological and physical effects that eating flesh can have on them?"
Now, I have to ask myself the question, "Can I read more of this?" Normally, I don't stop reading gore stories because they make me sick, but because I get bored. The characters act OOC, the settings are just set pieces, the motives behind the gore aren't interesting, and I leave the story. But here, I'm interested and perturbed by everything going on and as a self defining pessimist, I can't expect there to be a happy ending that makes reading this story easier. I love the writing, the world building, the characters, but my stomach and mind can only handle so much. I read four chapters when I woke up this morning, a mistake on my part since it was too early to read something like this, and now I have to stop. I'll probably be brought back by my own curiosity and desire to know what happens, but it most likely won't be for a few days. If you're a random reader reading this, then I encourage you to continue. And if AmaranthineDream is reading this, then I just want to say your story is fantastic!
Also, I have a question or two that may be answered in a later chapter. What is the "floor" like? Earlier, you described how there were several foal corpses of Twilight there that could be seen. Are their bodies all lying on a floor or something, or is it so compact with corpses that they're constantly stepping on dead bodies? Also, how would a portal work in a scenario like this? We see Neigh Say use a portal to travel everywhere in Season Nine, so would he have his own dimension of dead bodies for each portal, or do they operate by different rules?
10562946
Hey, thank you for the kind words! It was very heart warming to see first thing in the morning. I can only hope that the rest of my story lives up to your expectations. I imagine the reason it works as a story, despite the horror setting, is because I don’t personally think of it as horror at all. Now, maybe I should still add the horror tag, but to me, I’m just writing a character/emotion focused story about a sticky situation (“sticky” being an understatement, I know).
As for the floor, it is as if all of this is happening inside a massive gray sphere. The material covering the floor and walls of this sphere is hard, smooth, unbreakable, and not overly slippery. It is entirely unknown what exactly this material is, but I imagine it looking somewhat like concrete, but without all of the little flaws. I have probably failed to describe this properly for two reasons:
1) Other entries in the series have already covered this well, including the first story, which is much shorter than this and this is a direct sequel to.
2) This story isn’t really about the setting too much, but more about the characters, so I spent my time focusing on them more than on where they are.
Regardless, this detail is too important for me to have missed spelling out so clearly within the first couple chapters, so as of your comment, I intend to go back and edit more of this information in. It will probably be in chapter 2, along with some other minor edits.
EDIT: I have added a description of the material making up the inside of the pocket dimension to Twi's dialogue in chapter one. It turned out that she already sort of half described it there, so I just decided to properly flesh that out.
When it comes to portals, such as the one Neighsay uses, I have not decided and I don’t think any of the other stories have covered it either. It’s entirely possible that portals work in a different fashion, or perhaps his method is safer because he casts it through the EEA medallion rather than through his own magic, but I cannot say for sure at this time. To be honest, I probably won’t decide until the moment it actually comes up in one of these stories, if it ever does. I just don’t want to block off possibilities later by deciding now.
10563389
Depending on how Dungeons and Dragons you want to go; gates can make a literal tear between rwo places (unlike teleport which in some editions required an etheral plane to 'visit' for an instant). Gate might be completely safe or it might create a cylinder of that gray planar material inside the orb. While it appears to have depth the caster walks from appearing point to materialization point in an instant.
We never found out who made that gate medallion (or i don't remember) so it is possible it was created by someone who fear or found out that this is happening. He might of even tried to publish that knowledge. Perhaps Starswirl considered him a quack, or Celestia denounced the spell for it crosses some line in magical theory she doesn't want crossed. Twilight, for all her intelligence, never seems to question a spell from an approved source. If Twilight is most unicorns then why would they stop using a spell Celestia says is safe to use?
10578427
Hey, thanks for your thoughts! It gives me a lot to think about. I may have to consider using something like this as a plot point.
10578427
Quite funny as it makes me think of myself.
I always had a problem with the concept of teleportation. I'd never trust technological teleportation and i'td be VERY hard for me to trust magical teleportation.
So i always thought that, if i was to somehow become a mage, i'd learn direct tear in reality portals for transport and i'd make sure to never ever use teleport.
10578667
Funny thing; in Star Trek the characters die in every episode. Think on it; the transporter breaks you down to the tiniest level (discentigraing you) and then builds you back up at the end point. This requires the machine to get your brain 100% right. A missing neuron or a change to electrical impulses could make you a vegetable. Unlike here the matter was always your matter; no duplicates.
Don't know why they don't use it for medical; with replicators being a thing all it would take is adding the right materials in the right sequence. Star Trek is kinda soft though...
Poor Sweetie.
And just why was that snake teleported anyway?
btw
cue
10579845
Fixed! Thanks for pointing out that error!
EDIT: Oh, and the reason for the snake, both as that event relates to the plot and as to why it is there, will be explained over the course of the next four or five chapters.
A plot relevant snake? Does Celestia know there are survivors? Did she put Twilight up to teleporting it to get rid of evidence? What effects do having a populated sphere have on a pony? Do other non teleporting creatures have a sphere? Will this snake kill be the final shove for Fluttershy? Will she murder them all with a smile?
*shrug* guess we'll find out...
10579845
vuijlsteke.be/blog/2012/manuel-que.jpg
10578696
Star Trek teleportation is incredibly inconsistent. We've seen it make multiples of one person (Riker) combine and then later separate two people (Tuvok and Nelix) with no one even considering the possibility of keeping the combined persona (Tuvix). In another episode, Picards is possessed by an energy being, and it beams his body into a nebula and vaporizes him, but Geordi is able to recreate Picard since 'his was the last pattern in the buffer'
We've seen that it can be used as a form of stasis (Scottie) but this never came up again, but it can also trap people in between spaces?? as seen in an episode focusing on Lt. Barclay. In that same episode, we see that, despite people always freezing, and them seemingly having no thoughts between the beginning and end of teleportation, Barclay remains concious throughout the entire process, is able to move during said process, and is able to grab Starfleet officers who were 'trapped' between teleports.
So yeah, Star Trek has no idea how its own teleportation works.
You are evil, you know it?
10613338
Yeah, I’m starting to see that. XD
This is getting really disturbing.
btw
struck
hair
10613813
Dang. Once again, I must thank you for so quickly finding my typos. I’ll get to fixing them right away.
And I hope it isn’t too disturbing. I’m not a fan of death purely for shock value or being needlessly dark where it doesn’t suit the narrative.
I need one of these stories that is less horror and more like the Martian.
hell I might make it...