I'm Foals Errand's husband. A fanfic author with experience in anime and sci fi fics mostly. I'm now branching out.
This story is a sequel to Eyes Open
Many years after escaping from the prison of teleportation, Twilight Sparkle tells the story to her faithful student, Shooting Star. But Shooting Star has never learned to accept things as they are and leave well enough alone. Left with more questions than answers, this stubborn unicorn only knows that she cannot choose not to act.
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Hmmm... Well, I did like Eyes Open. Color me interested. Tracking.
This is just as bad as Blinked and Eyes Open. For shame.
another thing no one thinks about, what about Celestias and Lunas
7973918 Now that is an interesting concept, they are theoretically immortal. IS THERE JUST A ROOM FULL OF INFINITE SUNBUTT, INFINITE MOONBUTT. I wonder if the author will address this.
Shooting Star, thou art traversing a most dangerous path. I shalt not cease mine endeavors to dissuade you from this mistake. Know that I shall be watching, and I shall be waiting.
.......this story won't have angels, will it?
7973918
That's something I've been thinking about that I'd love to see. Though, do Celestia and Luna ever use that sort of teleportation?
7974520
Luna survived on her own without any sustenance for a thousand years, I mean, I guess you could argue that she was 'sealed away', but the very fact that she was even able to be sealed away suggests that she isn't entirely corporeal.
Honestly, I see two outcomes. Either there's just a giant Luna/Celestia-filled fishbowl of a pocket dimension filled with crazed, but still very much alive alicorns, or the lack of magic instantly kills them and their bodies just fall over like a puppet with the strings cut. Then again, they were capable of giving up their magic to Twilight without dying, so maybe they went through the same thing Twilight did and just never made it out. Or maybe they found a way to leave but couldn't make it back home for some reason. I mean, Unicorns violate the laws of space and time all the freakin' time in canon. The reason the main Blink story robbed Twilight of her magic is because it answered the question 'Why doesn't she just use her magic and leave?'
Also I find the idea behind this story to be very interesting. A young pony attempting to return to the past to right a senseless wrong... you definitely have my attention.
Hey, sugar! Just came over from your partner's profile, and I can't hold to see what you've got for us! Your writing's almost grammatically flawless, least as far as I see. Have a watch 'n a favourite!
7973804 Welp, if you find it beneath you, no one said you had to stay, sugar. You can yet right back on your high horse and ride back to wherever you came from with your fancy 'for shame's.
7976168 Apologies that you got so sour over my opinion on this piece.
7976538 Sorry, I get overprotective sometimes, and I like to think of Foals Errand and FoalsHalf as my friends, so I just get even more protective
7976159
This is coming from an editor, though, so of course I'd be one to point that out. 
I hate to be a downer, but actually, there are tons of errors in here. The writing is far from flawless. Most of it is punctuation, though, so it isn't tearing me away from reading the story, but it does bother me to a pretty serious degree.
7978471
Fair enough I've been meaning to get myself an editor. I do appreciate candid critical constructive commentary.
7978488
While I am a bit busy this week, and will admit to being a bit slow lately, I do proofread ifn you need someone.
As to the story, enjoying it, and as its the ninth and last sequel I've read, I must say its one of the most interesting so far, and I can't wait to see where you go with this.
I look forward to seeing how this works out.
Ooh, update...
In all seriousness, this line got me smiling: (EDIT: I did not realize the oxymoron when I wrote this).
Still a little wanting in the punctuation department, but you've also got my full attention now story-wise. Switching out of Tracked.
7984379 Ha. Not the time. *Badum tss*
7974487
No angels. Just maybe a miracle or two and perhaps an 'Oops!'
Oh, look, an update! Nice.
Nice to see Star being very thorough in her planning.
Normally I would expect this all to go horribly wrong, however the lack of any tags more dire than 'drama', I will cling to hope that perhaps this plan just might at least partially succeed.
Well at the very least, this means that Shooting Star is is constructing a stable time loop, rather than rewriting history. Unless of course, certain events are fated to be, but the details of how they are caused is malleable.
Does Shooting Star have a plan to make the safe teleportation spell propogate throughout ponykind? Because if she only teaches it to Starlight and Twilight, there are other capable spellcasters out there who will continue using the old version. Either knowledge of the old version needs to be thoroughly erased/replaced with the safe spell, or it needs to become common knowledge that the old spell is dangerous.
You didn't. You didn't just.
Oh, boy. That there Butterfly Effect is about to happen, isn't it.
8015229
Shooting Star is trying to manipulate history to obtain the outcome she wants. Her aims are pure. Problem is that the very attempt makes her history's tool in return.
but why? Why not go back to the origin of the spell's creation and swap out the spells there? Why not go back in time and tell Celestia and have her shepherd the swap over time so no one is the wiser?
The initial plan was selfish because it was only for Twilight, so it was okay if it was for only one or two people. But the new plan acknowledges that was selfish and tries for more than just her. But if the plan is to help more than just Twilight it would be easier to help hundreds of thousands without screwing up the timeline than it would be to help 3 or 4.
8015640
Shooting Star actually considered that. It was the first thing she thought of. Problem is that the further back in time she goes, the harder it would be to move about discreetly and the greater the risk of doing unforeseen damage to the timeline. Her worst fear is setting up a time paradox where by simply providing the correct spell, she eliminates the need for Twilight to tell her the story. Therefore Shooting Star never goes back with the corrected time spell.
She has adapted her original plans quite a bit, however. She does not want this to be happening to other ponies either but there is a reason she does not want Starlight Glimmer to share her knowledge: She is trying to make sure not to alter Starlight's destiny (Not realizing she helped create it.)
As for the rest of it: She still has to make sure she doesn't break time first. She has tests to make that if she fails could very easily condemn her to be a body in a large and tragic pile. She has saved one pony (Or series of ponies) That was the easy part.
The next test is a bit scarier for her.
8015720 bah I still think going as far back as you can and telling Celestia the whole story and making her complicit in making sure everything fell into place would be the best bet. She's the chess master who everyone always says knows something of the future anyway.
But whatever, time travel is almost always pointless in most stories anyway unless the writer is breaking the rules or making no sense.
8016408
That's an interesting thing about time travel in MLP. On the one hand, we have seen time as immutable. On the other hand, it is very fragile. And Shooting Star is clever... Maybe almost as clever as she thinks she is, but she's not nearly Celestia level wise.
Now what's she gonna do with the extra Trixie?! Not that having more Trixie is ever a bad thing...
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8040037
You don't know the half of it! While Tiny Trixie is safe in Shooting Star's time, every action has consequences. Naturally, it will be up to adult Trixie and her father (now retired) to decide, but little Trixie now has an opportunity that wasn't available forty years earlier and well...
'To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority." - Albert Einstein
In Equestria, that quote will have a different author.
7973804 So you're saying it's just as bad as good?
8071792 I'm saying it's bad.
8072405
Unfortunately 'Bad' is a very subjective term and not particularly useful in terms of feedback. Offering specifics as to what about the story (to date) you disliked would be useful and appreciated.
I can't deny that Star's actions are a touch worrying here. Granted she's working from a very clear moral high ground. However her actions still seem somewhat reckless, despite being well planned out.
There's always a piper to pay for this kind of meddling.
8073597
Indeed there is. And her choices don't get easier Nor should they.
The latest installment has been written but is being delayed until I can find an editor. I anticipate another couple of chapters and maybe an epilogue after that.
I just thought about it and not sure how many people have questioned this, but how many times has Celestia teleported?
Glad to see you might be doing something close to the Celestia angle I mentioned.
I still remain adamant that the only way to even come close to pulling this off without a time paradox was always going to include Celestia. I mean she's the mare that literally rewrote history to obscure her sister's past so she'd be welcomed back easier.
Changing Twilight's past without spoiling her future would spoil Shooting Star's future anyway. Without being sat down and explained exactly what the future entails Twilight would never teach Shooting Star like she did. Telling Celestia however both loops the story back into cannon and gives Twilight a Teacher who can wait until the right moment and tell her exactly what she needs to do to get Shooting Star to complete the loop.
8088845
Well, from our outside and objective point of view it was plain to see that Shooting Star was going to run into problems. She's like a lot of young people who undertake some task or notion with the certainty that 'I can handle this!' And then realize they are in over their head. Luckily Star is smarter than she is stubborn so as not to ride her plans down to disaster.
But the mere fact that things may not end in disaster does not mean that Star isn;t going to get a lesson in the Law of Unintended Consequences.
8014412 oh, now i get it: her fake mark looks like =
for some reason the video-game "chrono trigger" comes to mind: at one point they go back in time to save the hero from dying, and leave a life-like doll in his place, so their own past selves would not notice! an interesting way to avoid paradox.
In the end of Eyes Open by Foals Errand there were two Twilights. One that corrected the spell and the other that had become a cannibal. What happens to the second one? Star can close the time loop for the first one and probably for herself too with the help of Celestia. But that other Twilight? She would stop existing and so would every influence she has had on the world since, and considering we are talking a Twilight here, I can only assume that to be quite a bit even if she may or may not be suffering from psychological trauma. Which btw. might also be something that may or may not have guided some of Twilights actions since she got her cannibal self out of that bubble. From there on the butterfly effect is still a thing. In the end, with Celestias aid it may not effect Star personally and therefore may not end in an instable time loop but it still is going to have consequences to the world of Star's past.
Let us hope everything works out for the better and Star is not returning to a barren wasteland (not that I truly expect that, but still).
I'm interested to see where you go with this fic.
7977412
And don't forget the fact that it states on the tin that this is a continuation of Foal's Errand's triquel to the story Blink. So he should have known exactly what he was getting himself/herself into.
I look forward to seeing the next chapter. It's a really nice fic so far ^_^.
8146765 Um... who in the what now, sugarcube?
Why can't I hold all these Twilights?!
Le gasp, an update. Very mysterious chapter, wouldn't you agree?
(Also, hurray, she's feeling better).