- Member Since 6th Mar, 2022
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
_NoMoon_
hello. my name's No Moon. i hope you enjoy my stories.
_NoMoon_
Joined 6th Mar, 2022 ·
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Oooh. OOOOH, that's spooky. Poor Twi has no idea she's scaring herself with her own presence. The creak on the step, the face she seemed to see in the dark being the same spot where she is now, the knowledge that things often hide under tables... Eek!
But then... who is the pony in the hidden room? Is it a Twilight from years in the future, long forgotten? Is it someone else? Or is it just a figment of Twilight's rapidly deteriorating mind?
That was so terrifying >< I'm gonna need to read something silly or else my sleep is gonna be a lot shorter than I want it to be.
I wrote something of a similar type of unknown dark horror before, but couldn't execute it right. You did it perfectly, your descriptions and pacing are on point. Really awesome job, I'm bringing my phone with me if I need to go to the bathroom tonight o.o
Exquisite, I liked that!
Yikes, what was that?
Is it just an illusion or a real monster lurking for her?
Excellent short horror fic
Ooh, now this is real interesting. A very fun and fearful story, great atmosphere and intriguing events!
One thing I noticed is things change slightly at one point. Twilight specifically moves the wooden horse carving to no longer face the stairs, but after leaving the kitchen it's noted that the carving is facing the stairs again, and this is also when Twilight notices the storage room door. Now, this could mean Twilight is stuck in some kind of timeloop, that starts when she exits the kitchen, which would explain why the shelf and carving are in their normal positions, then once Twilight exits the storage room and moves the shelf to cover the door, that sets the stage for the initial loop. But that begs the question, what happens to the "first" Twilight? The one who hides beneath the table at the beginning of the story. If not for the carving facing back towards the stairs I would say maybe she fled into the storage room for some reason, but that would have made noise, wouldn't explain the carving or what's in the storage room. Unless the possible timeloop goes deeper somehow?
While in the storage room, Twilight notes that the door vanished, that there was no light coming from underneath the door. As if a different Twilight had placed the shelf in front of it all ready, though that's just a random thought. Then again things could just be a constant barrage of topsy turvey, as after rereading, the carved horse head is noted three times, once when Twilight turns it away from the stairs, again when it is noted to "be facing the stairs as normal" and one final time before Twilight enters the storage room when she looks over her shoulder, noting it to be turned away from the stairs. Almost implying that space and time shift from point to point, muddying the flow of events with possibility.
There's just a lot that can be analyzed in this story, but I'll stop there so as not to potentially super spoil things through my rambling. The story is just headscratching in a good way, and sets the mind ablaze with possibility as to what truly could be going on.
Nightmares man, rarely do they make sense.
Hits differnt at 3AM in the dark. Very nice.
There's a certain trick to atmospheric horror: You need to make the environment feel not just threatening or shocking, but oppressive in and of itself.
This fic, I think, does that well. It leverages the base human instinct, still sleeping in the bottoms of our brains, to perceive danger in what were once dangerous environments - the dark and the alone. Even in the safest of safe places, we perceive threats because to *not* do so would be risky. It's an experience that nearly everyone can share, and so touches the reader's own experiences.
In fact, I'm almost inclined to say the story loses something when it reveals the actual monster, as that immediately collapses the uncertain tension which has driven the story so far. Fortunately you're also able to rely on Twilight's own characterization at that point, drawing the story to conclusion on her own actions.
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I'm not sure if this is intentional, but I interpret it as Twilight beginning to experience a recursive time loop that grows on itself, deeper and deeper. The creature is Twilight herself, having experienced untold iterations of the loop and now finally brought back to the beginning, while the subjective-viewpoint Twilight is only now just being pulled into the loop.
I wonder what part of my brain decided it was a good idea to read a horror fic at 3 am in a pitch black room, only illuminated by the dull glow of my laptop.
Reading this on Bright Mode should be a crime, and also, good fic :)
I live in a house where the power regularly goes out. Very old electrical work that I can’t afford to replace yet. Everything described here up until she is proven right is something I go through on a semi-regular basis and I have never known how to describe that undeniable feeling of being watched. Perfectly written, take my like.
You described the feeling of paranoia in the dead of night absolutely beautifully. It’s something I grew very familiar with as a teenager. So many sleepless nights, feeling like I was being watched, frozen and scared to move, hearing little sounds that felt like a confirmation of my fears… That part of the story really resonated with me, and I loved the way that you put that feeling into words. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
That is very spooky. I'm still shaking long after reading it! Thanks for making this, I'm definitely having nightmares for the next few weeks!
I'm kinda between the super natural don't exist n they do. One memory as a 5 or 6 yr old kid was waking up to a feeling of being drag only to found my ankle being drag by notting and looking up I saw one of my sister's barbies doll walking on a windowsill by itself and when it's head turn towards me I past out again only to wake up under my bed with toys all around me and my dad and mom looking for me.
I original!y fell asleep with my mom on her and my dads bed.
oh, i thought at first it had lost its spookyness until i realized what was going on at the very end...
This story was crazy good. njnj
The thing I love about this particular paragraph is that it shows things being messed with that Twilight doesn't pick up on; being the first indication that it's not just in her head. The fact that there were five pictures described previously and now there only being four, and of course the wooden head facing the stairs when Twilight specifically pushed it to not face the stairs previously. Then later, the wooden head is told to be back to facing away from the stairs.
There's a lot of questions that this fic leaves and I applaud that. Such as the meaning of the title, 'Tour'. And how exactly the twist works.
By the way, the eyes in the picture are a heck of a nice creepy touch.
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Your theory makes sense for the most part, but the thing that gets me is the paintings. The time loop could explain why the wooden head changes positions, but it doesn't explain the missing painting since Twilight doesn't mess with any of them. I feel like that one small detail complicates things.
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My only theory about missing painting and horse's head "past" position is that Twilight moved back in time at some point, probably when she stared at the window, the most lightened place in library, to some night when Spike still didn't return Peewee to the nest.
Then, later, when she stared at the door with pitch black darkness, she moved forward in time.
And behind the door, in the void, in the literal end of time, she met herself.
Truly, as it was stated by Twilight multiple times: Time doesn’t exist / incomprehensible in the dark.
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Perhaps; it's still not clear though.