Twilight had a nightmare last night but can't seem to remember it. All she knows is that its a perfectly normal morning and she should be enjoying it.
So why can't she?
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Aug, 2016
- offline last seen March 31st
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Joined 17th Aug, 2016 ·
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An interesting concept, though it felt a bit rushed. Still an interesting read.
This was a nice, bite-sized bit of spookiness. I feel like a sequel could work really well too since the idea could easily go in a bunch of different directions.
Ok this is great. If it were to be made into a series, I would definitely read it. Great work
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Thanks for the feedback! I am also working on a sequel to this.
Oh my. Oh my. Oh my my my.
Nice little story here. At first I was worried this would go the route of it all being a trick by the changelings, as so many other stories have done in the past, but the ending here was something a bit different. I'd love to see an expansion of this sometime, going into greater detail about what's happening and the like. Also - Is this meant to be something similar to the Matrix, with the millions of cocoons and wires everywhere? That's the impression I got from the ending.
I hope you write again.
This was a pleasant read. I love when things aren't as they seem. The writing was surprisingly good for your first story. Way better than my first one was. I look forward to more of your stories.
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Thanks so much for the comment! I really like a lot of your stories and it's nice to get a compliment from you.
Very creative and well imagined. Twilight's fate is sincerely upsetting; it was painful to watch as her reality fell apart around her. Good job making this reader feel so bad.
(You might consider getting an editor. I hesitate to say anything because i *know* i need one. But an editor may help with things such as using the word 'seemed' nine times. Best wishes.)
frickin awesome work dude 👍👍👍
This is a fun premise! I thought you might be doing a false hydra at first but then it turned into a matrix setting instead. But what are their aims? Not simply to digitize the world or else there wouldn't be reams of errors... Perhaps some sorta zoo? Maybe their kind simply doesn't allow genocide but they (or at least the caretakers) don't care beyond that.
Ah yes, and you have a couple typos.
Hey there! I absolutely love this story and I was wondering if I could practice my editing skills and make.an audio reading with voice actors, sound design ect. I have a ton of ideas and I think this would be a great start :)! If you have any concerns on where it may be posted I have an Instagram @/F.Kimslo as well as YouTube! Ty for your consideration!
glass-cocoons? sounds like Test-tubes to me.