Light sat next to the campfire they'd set up, trying not to stare at Rarity's feeble attempts to brush and clean her mane, which was gradually losing its carefully coiffed curl. The fashionista whined about how horrid the grime on her coat was and how if she was to be trapped anywhere, the universe should at least have had the good graces to make it a spa—or should that have proved too difficult, spa adjacent. This turn of events was not just cruel of the universe, it was downright rude.
Her statements were as ridiculous and overly dramatic as ever, but Light was fairly sure the whole display was just to provide some semblance of familiarity. If anything, Rarity acting like her typical, prissy self made everypony else feel better. At least something was normal. As for whether Rarity did it for their benefit or her own, Light couldn't say. The unicorn surely knew there was nothing that could be done about the unhygienic conditions.
Light turned the other way to hide from Rarity the smile splayed across her muzzle. It wouldn’t do to have her friend think she was making fun of her. Of course, Sweetie Belle was far less subtle, openly giggling when Rarity complained about how she’d lost one of her fake eyelashes and that a sunless underworld was not good for one’s complexion. Though Rarity seemed pleased that her sister was able to find some form of amusement, even if at her own expense.
Sitting around the fire with her friends, Light found herself oddly content, despite the fact that they would all surely die horrible, drawn out deaths. Having her friends back, even if only a couple of them, was like the first breath of fresh air after being trapped in... well, this place. She could try to think of an analogy, but nothing quite compared to the stale air and rot of her new home. She still greatly missed Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and everypony else, but the crushing loneliness was gone.
Looking out at the mounds of bodies, she suddenly found her gaze meeting a pair of shining orbs far out in the darkness, just barely visible by the soft glow of the fire reflected in them. Were those... ? Yes. Eyes.
Light sighed. That would no doubt be Twi watching them from somewhere closer to the center of their prison. As the only pony not already at the makeshift campfire, it had to be her. They had tried to invite her to join them of course, had attempted reconciliation, but that stubborn pony just wasn't interested.
Twi had refused to speak to Light, citing earlier disagreements, and wouldn't speak with Fluttershy either. Though no reason was given for that one, Light suspected it was because her double felt ashamed at having wanted to kill their pegasus friend before, only to be proven wrong by Fluttershy's unexpected return. That, or she was afraid of some sort of reprisal from the timid pony. Light could hardly imagine Fluttershy ever doing such a thing, but with Twi's mind as warped from malnourishment as it was, she supposed the pony might very well believe the absurd.
There was only one pony Twi was actually eager to speak to, and that was Sweetie Belle. Rarity had instantly shot down any possibility of that happening. She didn't intend to let her sister anywhere near her would-be killer. In regards to who should approach Twi, that only left Rarity herself. At the time, they all figured that was for the best, given the fashionista's diplomatic nature.
Unfortunately, Rarity's visit across their prison had not gone well. Oh it started amiably enough, and Twi was glad to see her friend, but apparently it went downhill faster than the CMC on a well-greased sled the moment Rarity confronted Twi over her treatment of Sweetie Belle. Light should have known that would happen. Rarity had oh-so predictably lost her good manners in favor of protecting her little sister, and in doing so, pushed Twi to acrimoniously and vociferously inform them that she would be cutting off all contact with their group—or at least, those were the words Rarity had used to describe it. Light was more than happy to translate from snobbish into plain old Ponish for Sweetie Belle, informing her that it meant bad-mannered and loud.
In the end, Rarity had returned with her head hung low, ashamed of her poor performance as a diplomat, but not of standing up for her sister. Her spirits were not kept down for long though, as shortly after, a single half-empty packet of marshmallows teleported in. As for why Twilight Sparkle would need to teleport such a silly thing, Light had no idea, but she was glad of the opportunity it gave her.
The idea of the campfire, and to roast the marshmallows around it, was a definite success with her friends. The silliness of it, combined with the simply pleasure of a gooey treat, got every one of them smiling again. Of course, Light had refrained from eating any herself. She was already used to the meat, and she wanted to spare the others that for as long as possible. The marshmallows wouldn't do much to sate their appetites, but it was better than nothing.
Light redirected her attention to her friends. Rarity had moved on to complaining about the ghastly effect of congealed blood on her recent hooficure, Fluttershy was quietly mumbling something to herself, and Sweetie Belle was licking the last bits of a charred marshmallow off her lips. Looking at the three of them around a fire, much like an actual camping trip, an idea came to mind.
"Hey," Light started, "do any of you know any campfire stories?"
Rarity cut off mid-whine to turn toward Light. "My sincerest apologies, but what was that you just said? You want us to tell stories?"
"Well, yeah," Light nodded. "I mean, if you don't pay attention to... well, anything really, you can kind of imagine that this is like a camping trip. Ponies tell stories on such trips, don't they?"
"Well," Rarity tapped her chin with a hoof, cringing when she noticed the red-black stain which she'd just inadvertently spread from hoof to face, "I suppose it would help get our minds off things. I just need to think... aha! I have it! A silly little bit of pulp fiction, but one I think will suit our purposes. I believe I read it while in the waiting room of a dentist's office, so do not expect anything of significant quality—though I have it on good authority that parts of it are based on a true story."
"That's alright." Light adjusted her position to better face Rarity, then leaned into her forelegs as she prepared to listen. On the other side of the soon-to-be storyteller, Sweetie Belle was doing the same thing, albeit with a comically large grin plastered across her face.
Apparently, the filly had no problem temporarily overlooking the horrors of their situation in favor of getting all the time she could ever want with her sister. Better yet, since Rarity had an emotional investment in maintaining Sweetie's innocent mental state, the elder unicorn was practically obligated by her own conscience to entertain the desires of the younger.
"Ahem," Rarity began, "it all started with a dapper young explorer of a stallion, who had been shipwrecked in a strange land of barbarians with only his monocle and a most marvelous mustache for comfort..."
"...so our hero sold his last pair of purple pantaloons to a most trustworthy stallion by the name of Egregious Prevaricator—a respected scholar and grower of pipe weed—so that he might pay for passage to the Prosperous East. There, it is said he found the Fountain of Couth, and in doing so, became virtually unflappable." Rarity paused for a moment to consider. "Well, either that, or he was accidentally killed in a drunken brawl with a fat destrier by the name of Black Whirlwind. To be honest, I can't quite remember how it went." She shrugged. "Oh well. The end."
Light and Sweetie Belle stared at Rarity for several seconds before bursting into a bout of laughter, to which Rarity responded with a pleased smile. Even Fluttershy gave a small chuckle, despite having seemed a little distracted during the story.
"Hold on." Light waved a hoof in the air as she got her laughter under control. "Did you say 'the Fountain of Couth?' Don't you mean Fountain of Youth?"
"Oh, pff, kuh, thh," Rarity scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Why do ponies always say that? That is nothing more than a silly old mare's tale. The legend of the Fountain of Couth, on the other hoof, is very much based on a true story. Why, Canterlot elites have been hunting for it for ages!"
"Is that so?" Light deadpanned, raising one eyebrow.
"Indeed." Rarity nodded. "I mean, just imagine it: complete unflappability. You would never be embarrassed again, never make another social misstep, never have to deal with another awkward conversation!" She smiled, inspecting Light from the corner of her eye. "Frankly, darling, I feel that you could rather use such a thing."
"Well, I... hey!" She nudged the white mare in the shoulder. "I'm not that awkward! I mean, I am a princess. Besides, I'm about ninety percent sure you just made all of that up on the spot."
"Me?" Rarity put a hoof to her heart in mock offense. "Never! I cannot say a word that is not true. Honest as a scholar, I tell you. Or a farmer."
"You mean like 'Egregious Prevaricator?'" Light pointed out smugly.
"Indeed," the drama queen responded with a smile, blithely ignoring Light's point. "If you don't believe me, just ask Applejack. Oh wait, you... can't." She frowned, all sense of jest fleeing her countenance. "Perhaps it is time we move on to another topic. Might any of you have a story of your own to tell?"
"Ooh, ooh!" Sweetie Belle piped up from where she had been laying, grinning at their exchange. "I have one! It's about the time Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and I got all covered in tree sap!"
Rarity frowned. "Haven't you already told me this one?"
"Nope! That was one of the other times we got covered in tree sap."
"I see." Rarity sighed. "How often does that happen, exactly?"
"Uh... well, maybe a little more often than is usual."
Rarity raised an eyebrow. "Is this why I keep finding my carpets sticky after you stop by following one of your adventures?"
"What?" Sweetie Belle blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about! Fluttershy," she spun toward the pegasus, desperate to deflect attention away from herself, "do you have any stories?"
"Huh?" Fluttershy visibly shook herself. "Oh, yeah. I mean, no, but Light does. I vaguely remember her reading one to me before. I think it was one of those Daring Do books."
Light nodded. "Daring Do and the Secrets of Brodfeld."
Rarity turned toward her with a frown. "Wait a minute. Isn't that the one you gave dear Rainbow Dash for her birthday?"
"Yes, though it would have been the next version of me who actually hoofed it to her. I appeared here earlier that day." She paused. "Um, did she like it?"
"I believe so, yes, but she also said it was much darker than previous entries." Rarity glanced toward her sister. "Are you sure it's suitable for a younger audience?"
"Rarity," Light shot her a level look, "I think at this point, the last thing you need to worry about is a book corrupting her innocence."
Rarity glanced at the corpses piled high near them, then flushed a light pink. "Oh, well, perhaps you are right. Very well then, retrieve this book. You can catch us up, then continue from wherever you and Fluttershy left off."
And so, Light did just that.
Daring Do was escorted into the great banquet hall by a pair of stone-faced griffon guards—the very same ones who had just minutes before demanded she put on a ridiculous silvery dress for the king's pleasure, despite it being only hastily and poorly modified for a pony.
Once inside, the guards shut the massive double doors behind her and escorted her to a seat at the end of a long banquet table filled to the brim with every kind of food imaginable. From there, it was at least a good ten or fifteen yards to the other end of the table where King Kloseu de Kissau—a gray griffon with violent eyes and a scarred cheek— sat, gorging himself on a plate stacked almost too high for her to see him past.
Daring Do glanced nervously at the guards, who were well armed and had taken up positions immediately to her left and right, then stretched her neck out to get a better view of the king. She opened her mouth to address him, but was immediately silenced with a warning glare offered by one of the guards. Right. She was not to speak until spoken to. How had she already forgotten that?
With a sigh, she leaned back in her seat and began fiddling with the compass she normally kept in her pocket, but that was now awkwardly tucked into the uncomfortable dress. Given the king's lack of attention to her, she felt that she might be waiting for a while—perhaps even close to as long as they had kept her waiting outside the hall, which itself was nearly as long as the wait outside the palace.
The room itself was massive, far larger than a meeting with the king and two of his guards warranted, and had a severe echo caused by the missing rugs and tapestries. Apparently, many of the palace's luxury items had been sold to traders in neighboring Gryphus to help fund Kloseu's army. Despite that, and the starving peasants outside, there seemed to be a permanent feast taking place within the palace, often attended by Kloseu alone, but sometimes also with political allies or his son, Prince Tomado, in attendance.
Finally, the king looked up, eyeing her across the distance that she could only assume was for his protection. "A pony enters my court and, if my sources speak true, an Equestrian no less. Why? Have you come to spy? To prey upon the righteous like so many of the local vermin? Do you, like them, deny my right to Eviliana's divine blessing as both sovereign and one true savior of this land from the red devils?"
Daring Do's mouth fell agape. Was he crazy? She hadn't yet said a word to him, and he was already accusing her of conspiring against him? She mentally threw out everything she'd previously been planning to say. She wasn't one for bowing and scraping, but there was a certain practicality to indulging the whims of a dangerous madgriff whose help she sorely needed.
"No, your majesty." She awkwardly bowed from where she sat. "In fact, I believe we can have a mutually beneficial relationship. I hunt a dangerous artifact that has been taken from my land, and I fear that if I do not find it soon, it may be used against you. I know it is a lot to ask for, but I need backing for an expedition to the most northerly parts of your country. With bandits, monsters, and a severe lack of viable infrastructure, I couldn't hope to get there on my own, especially if those I hunt are as dangerous as I suspect. Please, this won't just put my mind at ease, but it may also just save your life."
In truth, Daring Do had no idea if her enemies had any plans to use the artifact against this king, but given his apparent paranoia, she thought it best to fudge the facts. Winning his support would be far easier if he had some sort of personal stake in the outcome.
Kloseu de Kissau's eyes lit up at the mention of a dangerous artifact, leading him to set down the leg of some poor roasted animal long enough to consider her proposal. "Artifact, you say? What does it do? I have a right to know in what way I am endangered."
Daring Do sighed. She hadn't planned to give him too many details, but she knew that if she didn't, there was very little chance of receiving support. Some vague threat mentioned by a strange, foreign pony was unlikely to sway the king. "It's called the Staff of Sanguine Souls. Yes, crazy cultists like alliteration—puns too, but that's off topic. Anyway, it has the power to make those struck by its crimson rays overwhelmingly happy."
"Happy?" The king groaned. "Is this some kind of stupid pony joke? What do I care of a staff that shoots joy beams? Next you'll tell me it's made of rainbows and tastes like cotton candy." He rolled his eyes. "You ponies and your moronic fascination with love and kindness are disgusting enough as is, but now you claim that such a thing could actually pose any sort of credible threat to me? Don't make me laugh. Degeneracy like that only leads to weakness—the same kind of weakness that failed to stop Caramel Marks from writing his accursed manifesto."
Daring Do cringed. This was not going well. Perhaps if she properly impressed upon him the power of the artifact... "Your majesty, with respect, I wouldn't take this so lightly were I you. Happiness is contentment, and a content enemy is an apathetic enemy. The user of the staff could effectively control anypony, keeping from their mind any worries over what might happen. Worse, it takes only a moment to use and the effects are permanent. If used on one such as yourself, you would be unlikely to put up any sort of resistance to a complete government takeover."
His eyes widened in shock. "I knew it!" He slammed his talon against the table, sending a half-full wine glass careening off the table and onto the cold, stone tiles. "This is the work of those dirty reds, no doubt! They want to control me, and in doing so, keep me from my holy mission as savior of all of Evi—nay, the world—from their vicious communistic schemes. Little pony, you will have all the resources you need. You shall have wagons, scouts, an armed escort, provisions, all-terrain vehicles, and tanks! Crush these vile communists before they can go on to threaten the world, as is their villainous creed!"
By the time he was finished with his outraged speech, spittle was dripping from the end of his beak and Daring Do was properly horrified. Sure, she had all the help she could ever possibly want and more, but now she was more scared of her own allies than those she was after. Also, she was pretty sure her enemies were not, in fact, communists.
With help attained, she opened her mouth to request leave to go and get back into a proper pith helmet, only to immediately shut it with a click when she noticed what the king was eating. That wasn't just any animal leg, there was a hoof still attached. A pony hoof. She blanched. No, there had to be some sort of mistake. He wouldn't actually eat a pony. Her eyes were deceiving her.
"Um," she nodded toward the roasted leg, her voice shaking while her mind reeled, "that isn't what I think it is, is it?" She gulped, hoping she hadn't just said something that might inflame the madgriff.
The king raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you think it is?"
"A pony."
"What?" The king glanced at her, then down at the hoof in his talon. "Don't be ridiculous. This isn't a pony."
She sighed. "Phew. That's good. For a moment, I feared that you were—"
"It's a communist."
And with that, Daring Do rushed to take her leave, wanting very badly not to vomit in front of her new benefactor.
Light set the book down, feeling sick to her stomach. The book's reference to the king eating a pony was not appreciated, especially given her own diet. What was A. K. Yearling thinking, putting that in there? Was needlessly dark really that in demand? The king's diet wasn't the only problem either. The shear hatred shown toward an obscure political ideology reminiscent of Starlight's equalism was just as likely to alienate readers as provide anything interesting to the story.
Sure, Light had the privilege of knowing the books were based on true events, but if anything, that just proved A. K. needed an editor to show her what to cut for mass market appeal. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if these problems factored into the book’s extremely limited release. It also made her worried for the author's mental state if she really did go through all of that.
Frankly, Light found much of it quite disgusting, and for once, she wasn't sure that she could continue reading. By the looks on the other's faces, they were in agreement with her. Fluttershy was even looking a little green.
"We're going to have to eat pony too, aren't we?" Sweetie Belle asked, a melancholy expression on her face. "I'm already so hungry..."
Light sighed, then slowly nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, but we don't have much of a choice. I won't lie, it's not a pleasant experience, but you get used to it."
"Well," Sweetie gulped, "I think I'm ready. I don't want to starve." She sniffed, and as if to highlight her point, her stomach let out an audible groan.
"You won't." Light patted her head, omitting the fact that a purely meat-based diet could only delay starvation, not stop it. And that was to say nothing of the constipation issues, illness from consuming rancid flesh, and the loss of energy that came with malnourishment.
Light looked to her friends. "Are you two ready as well?"
Rarity glanced toward Sweetie Belle, then hesitantly nodded. Fluttershy took a bit longer and had tears silently dripping down her face by the time she came to a decision, but eventually, she nodded as well.
"Okay, let me just collect what we need." Light turned around and started walking toward where she had organized the meat.
This was going to be a tough experience for everypony, and worse, she could still feel Twi's eyes on the back of her head, watching them from a distance. It made her uneasy, but then again, just about everything did nowadays.