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Years after King Sombra conquered the Crystal Empire, republican revolutionaries rose up against him. But what of his family? Surely, they can't be held accountable . . .
Image is of Icy Snow, a Crystal Empire general in Equestria at War. She had no personality in EaW, having only the Cautious and Winter Specialist traits, so I decided to flesh her out and use her here.
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If you wanted me to root for the rebels, you failed miserably. Radiant deserves death, as does Sombra. The comic didn't help either of them.
But then you murder in cold blood an innocent filly, whose only crime is who she's related too...
Yeah. FUCK the Crystal Empire. It doesn't deserve the right to exist now. It's replacing one tyranny with another. At least Sombra was open about his.
10345680
The only one you're supposed to root for here is Snowblossom. Everypony else is in the wrong and are generally bad, despite any good traits they may have. My sentence about the good and bad being flipped applied more to the original story and is only referring to their traditional roles, not that they are actually good ponies. Also, I haven't read any of the comics. Sorry about that, but comics just bore me. As for replacing one tyranny with another, Applethorn isn't a tyrant, though he certainly is a murderer and a liar. He definitely is a bad person in many ways, but he would go on to establish free elections.
10345750
I did root for Snowblossom for sure, so glad I did that right. And that doesn't justify murdering a filly. No matter what excuses you come up with (in story, or just as the author).
So I can't like this. Heck, I can't even try and see it from the other side. Leave Snowblossom alive, and it's a different story.
10345804
Fair enough. It certainly is unpalatable for some people to read. I usually don’t feel too bad about fictional characters dying, but I get it, it’s not what you want to hear. Fundamentally, this is a tragedy, and I’ll admit that I knew it would make some people feel awful. I’m sorry you had a bad experience with the story.
Something Tells me, Celestia and Luna, as much as they hate Sombra, would really not like it if a foal (Even if it is Sombra's foal) being killed.
10345853
Absolutely correct. I imagine if and when they learned of it, they would have quite the reaction.
I'm hoping once word gets out that the General and those that collaborated with him did, they would be tried and at least sentenced to life in prison. To kill a tyrant is one thing, to kill an innocent makes you no better then the monster you fought so hard to defeat.
10345944
Very true. Keep in mind that this general is a revolutionary, not part of the official Equestrian military apparatus. Equestria keeps a much better hold over its leaders than some angry imperial citizens who think they can rule themselves. These guys just got some material aid from them to defeat Sombra. There is a reason Applethorn very subtly hints that Equestria might be next, at least if not for the fact that he would have to fight members of his own family.
Reminds me of how the Bolsheviks murdered the Tzar and his family. Something tells me that Celestia and Luna will not be happy whatsoever when they learn that Snowblossom, who was an innocent, was executed.
10346009
Yep. Given the feedback I've received however, I have elected to change this from "Completed" to "Incomplete." People want to see the consequences, and now they will. Also, any story that needs to be explained or defended by the author is clearly poorly written. Hopefully my new chapter, which I will release within the next few days, will solve these issues. For anyone who actually thought it ended well, I'll make sure to mention that the second chapter is optional. This new chapter should also show off a new character that I'm probably going to use in a future story.
Depending on the reception I get, I may also upload an alternate version of the story with a happy ending. We'll have to wait and see about that one though.
What makes Applethorn so repugnant is his lack of remorse. He deliberately leads a young filly to her death, and cheerfully kills her without hesitation.
I doubt he’ll stick around long. The Sisters won’t be pleased to hear about these executions. I think they have space in their garden for an extra statue...
Good writing, though. It reminds me of some of those twist stories like “The Lottery”, but at least here you can see it coming.
10346036
Thanks for the feedback! I try to paint my characters in shades of gray, but Applethorn was definitely on the darker end. He was supposed to be a strange mixture of unapologetic murderer and stalwart defender of liberty, but one of those came through a lot stronger than the other.
I also really wanted it to be seen coming, because I wanted the reader to think there was some way out, have hope that maybe Snowblossom might still make it, only to have that hope utterly and ruthlessly crushed.
As for Applethorn getting his comeuppance, I’m still trying to decide if it should be Celestia and Luna or what remains of the legitimate Crystal Imperial government-in-exile that takes him down. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see, but people can feel free to give their opinions on it in the meantime.
10345958
Except Celestia and Luna are on a completely different level compared to Sombra. They're not perfect by any means, and they'll more than likely agree with that. But they're not tyrants.
Even if someponies in Equestria think they are, I seriously doubt there's enough to raise any kind of rebellion army, let alone hold off those that love the sisters.
Let alone even thinking they can kill either one of them.
10346966
I completely agree with everything you just said. Celestia and Luna are great rulers. There definitely would never be enough support among the Equestrian populace to even get close to removing them from power, but that’s never stopped ideologically extreme fools from trying it anyway.
As much as I disdain foal killing, Applethorn was right in saying that if an heir lives then Imperial counter-revolutionaries have a platform to run on. So short-term this will generate outrage from the less extreme revolutionaries, long-term it will prevent counter-revolutions.
I honestly feel bad for the revolutionaries, they fought and died for democracy and freedom only to find out that it was all for nothing
10354488
Well, it’s still gotta be a tragedy in one way or another. But yeah, they were used and discarded, even though the average soldier had nothing to do with the war crimes. Still though, even if it wasn’t their stated mission, they helped bring down a tyrannical regime in favor of a much less tyrannical one. They can feel good that they played a part against Sombra at least.
Oh, and they may still achieve some of their objectives, albeit to a much lesser extent than they were hoping. You’ll have to wait until the final chapter for that though.
Personally, I think Applethorn got what he deserved
10362017
I’m glad you agree. I spent a long time struggling to decide just how harsh his fate should be. I figure what I ended up giving him was about as bad as I can make it without it being cruel and unusual punishment or too vindictive for Cadance to agree with.
10362017
While I do find Applethron's actions to be quite unnecessarily brutal, I find them to be quite understandable when put into the context of the war they were fighting. While yes, blowing the damn did lead to countless deaths, it did serve it's intended purpose of delaying monarchist forces. When it comes to Snowblossm's murder, at least it destroyed any chance for a counter-revolution.
10362141
I’m glad we have such a wide variety of viewpoints here in the comments. I hate when things are too cut and dry, black and white.
This is a good story. Good story telling, realistic/interesting characters, and a good plot. Unfortunately, this story wasn't for me (too bittersweet for my liking). Regardless, I do think this story deserves more likes and views than it has been given thus far. I may not be a fan, but that doesn't mean other people wouldn't enjoy it.
10362404
Well thanks for the sentiment! I'm sorry it wasn't for you, but I'm glad you stuck with it long enough to give a good, honest opinion.
This has the same vibe as "Steiner's attack didn't go through"
Wow a great story. I the atmosphere in the first chapter was really well described and it is probably what has happened in irl revolutions. Personally I do hate it how Applethorn got off so easy with the murder of a child but Cadance's decision does make sense and is probably the best choice.
I feel kinda bad for the average revolutionary. Their leader was bad, but the average revolutionary fought to free themselves from Sombra's tyranny and estabilish a free democratic republic, but then the monarchists show up at the end and are like "Too bad, you're getting an autocracy whenever you like it or not."
Well, at least an autocracy with local elections is better than nothing.