I understand.
Those two, simple little words, spoken to the new hallucination, had sealed her fate. Before then, Fluttershy was still allowed some semblance of control, enough to keep her own consciousness—albeit warped by foreign feelings—at the forefront. Perhaps it was necessary at the time, a measure to make sure the others didn't catch on. Or perhaps the side of her that remained kind and good hadn't yet fully surrendered to the darkness. In the end, it didn't matter. She was weak, and it had cost her and her friends everything.
Now all she could do was sit inside her little cage, hanging from a ceiling too high to be visible, staring at the raised pathway which crossed the area just beyond those bars. It was either that, or look at the endless abyss below. She definitely preferred the path. Oddly enough, it reminded her of the path to her cottage. But then, her mind would summon a familiar image, wouldn't it?
Fluttershy glanced up at the single, badly rusted chain that was the only thing keeping her cage from plunging into the abyss, and she idly wondered if there was some sort of symbolism there. A comment on her fragility, perhaps? Nothing here was real, so didn't that mean it all had meaning? But then, who could say when it came to a place like this, where everything was but the imaginings of a mind too tortured to understand reality?
What did it mean that Fluttershy could ponder on her own insanity? Weren't the insane not supposed to know they were insane? How could she know that where she was wasn't real yet also accept the fact that it was created because she couldn't handle the truth? There could be no answers.
Now she only received brief glimpses of what was really happening. Things flashed before her eyes and were gone before she could do anything about it. Her last flash had even shown Sweetie Belle, looking terrified. Fluttershy couldn't quite remember what specifically that filly might be afraid of, but she had the sinking feeling it was her fault. Still, it was easier not to think of such things—her head hurt when she did that—and so she continued to stare at the path, wondering about her current state of existence.
"If you don't flee this instant, I swear I'll tan your hide in the afterlife!"
Fluttershy sat up straight. Whose voice was that? And why did they sound so angry? No, wait, angry wasn't right. Desperate. Yes, they were desperate. It was a feeling with which she'd recently acquainted herself quite well. It came as hope dwindled, and oft preceded abject helplessness.
Fluttershy sighed. She hated being helpless, and she hated it even more when her friends felt that way. Her animal friends never made her feel helpless. With them, her role was simple: she provided food and shelter, occasionally kept them from killing each other, and on most days that was enough. Well, for all except angel it was enough. Ponies were not so simple though. Recently, it seemed like she hadn't anything meaningful to offer them at all.
Fluttershy kicked herself. Useless, broken, crazy. I hope I never get out of this place. It's what I deserve.
"Hold on, Sis! I'll be right back!"
"What? No! Don't come back! Stay away! STAY AWAY!"
Fluttershy placed her hooves over her ears. She recognized the voices now, and she couldn't bear to hear any more. Rarity and Sweetie Belle were in trouble, trouble brought about by Fluttershy's own weak mind, and she couldn't do anything to help. Maybe if she just blocked out the sound the problem would disappear, she could believe they'd be okay.
"Fluttershy, darling, listen to me, please."
Fluttershy shook her head, tears now streaming down her face. Why wouldn't it stop? The voice was coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, her pitiful attempts at blocking it out completely laughable. Why couldn't she be left alone? So many voices. Always the voices.
"Kill me if you must, but leave my sister alone. I'm begging you; she's just a filly. A filly!"
"I'm sorry!" Fluttershy yelled into the darkness, now openly sobbing. "I didn't want this! I don't want to hurt anypony!"
But, of course, nopony heard her cries.
"Fluttershy, you're the element of kindness, this isn't you! We're frien— AHHH!"
Rarity's scream echoed through the abyss, even going so far as to somehow shake the chain of Fluttershy's cage.
"I'm sorry," Fluttershy muttered, knowing nopony could hear. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Please..."
Fluttershy's ears perked up. Rarity was okay? Wait, no, she sounded pained. Fluttershy did hurt her, and she probably would again—unless she did something about it.
But I'm too weak...
"Please, Fluttershy, please don't hurt her..."
Rarity was probably dying, and she still thought about others first. Why couldn't Fluttershy be that brave?
A brief image flashed through her mind, Rarity and herself at the spa together, talking and relaxing all of their problems away. And now that very same friend was going to die by her hoof. She couldn't allow it.
Maybe I can be brave, just this once—for her, and for Sweetie Belle.
She set her sights on the door of the cage. The whole thing was made of wrought iron and shaped like a giant birdcage, but the hinges were much the same as on her front door at home. In other words, they weren't reinforced.
"Okay," she quietly breathed. "I can do this."
She reared up, then pushed on the cage door with everything she had, only to immediately fall out of the cage and land on her face in the middle of the path.
She looked back in confusion. The door had just... come open? Wait, it wasn't even locked! But that meant... that meant that this whole time, she'd only ever needed the will to act! In retrospect, that actually made a lot of sense. She wished Twilight were there just so she could ask her about what other rules a hallucinated world might contain. If anypony knew the answer to that, it would definitely be Twilight Sparkle.
Twi...
Vivid images of what she did to Twi flashed through her mind. She'd still been in partial control then, and remembered it as clear as day. She remembered wanting Twi dead even, but also recalled a distinct feeling of foreignness in that desire, as if she was really just feeling something else's wants pushed onto her. Even then, she'd managed to repress those feelings for a moment before Twi tricked her and she lost control again.
She shivered. In that brief moment of transition she could have sworn she touched… something. It was hard to succinctly explain, even in her own thoughts, but it felt ancient, powerful, and most of all, hungry. Though she was certain it wasn't for food in the traditional sense—certain because the feeling came from the spirit rather than the stomach, but also because she was still fairly sure it was all dreamed up as part of her own insanity. Even so, it scared the willies out of her.
Regardless of what she'd felt, with lives on the line, she couldn't spare a moment and had thus already started down the path at a canter during her period of introspection. She would even have broken into a full gallop if she wasn't so afraid of whatever might come out of that darkness in front of her.
It wasn't long until she approached a familiar cottage. Her home, though it looked significantly less homey with the grass all dead and not a critter in sight. Where before birdsong filled the air, now there was only the sound of her own hoofsteps—which made her realize that she hadn't heard Rarity in a while. For all she knew, the unicorn was already dead.
She gulped. It was a terrifying thought, but she couldn't do anything about it now. She had to focus on... whatever it was she was trying to do. She still wasn't sure on the specific rules of retaking one's own body from one's crazier side.
Crunch!
Fluttershy looked down in shock, then carefully lifted her hoof to find the desiccated—and now crushed—husk of a butterfly with once pink-now mostly black and brown wings. It looked almost exactly like a long-dead version of the butterflies in her cutie mark, because of course it did. What else would her mind torture her with?
Her eyes rose to find that this butterfly was but the first in a trail of butterflies, their numbers and density growing exponentially the closer the trail got to the cottage's front door. Fluttershy didn't have time to stop and gawk though. Whatever all the dead butterflies were supposed to mean, it didn't matter. They couldn't be as bad as the dead ponies surrounding her in the real world and they wouldn't stop her progress.
She picked her way around the butterflies and through the threshold of her fake home, only to find that the interior was not like her home at all. It contained only a single wide, open, and very gray room, with a single set of stairs leading up to a circular platform that jutted out from the side of the structure over an endless void. There was also, evidently, no ceiling, despite the cottage very clearly having had a roof from the outside.
She'd only just entered when she heard the voices, the sound carrying down from the platform above. The first was cold and hard, the very same voice that had claimed to be Fluttershy's angel and pushed her to kill Twi. The second was just the opposite: warm and motherly, almost regal, and an exact match for the second hallucination Fluttershy'd had—the very same one that drove her to attack Light and the others. Both oozed with confidence and sinister intentions.
"The white one is dying," the so-called angel said. "Let me leave her to the poison. I'll chase the little chit around some more."
"No. Do not underestimate your enemies. Finish what is in your grasp."
"But—"
"Do not defy your creator."
"Of course. My apologies."
"We have an intruder. Deal with it."
Fluttershy reached the top of the steps just in time to see the "angel" turn to face her, looking just as it had when she first met it, a grayish imitation of Fluttershy with a diffuse silvery aura hanging around its head. As for the other voice, its source was missing entirely.
Under the gaze of one of her tormentors, Fluttershy almost turned tail right there. At least, until she reminded herself that it was all in her head, a figment of her imagination. She hoped that meant it couldn't actually hurt her.
"Welcome home, Fluttershy." The thing waved to the inside of the cottage with a smile. "I know its a bit drab now, but all those animals really were just such a bother. And the butterflies! Did you know that I wrote a little song about your butterflies?"
"I need you to stop this right now," Fluttershy said firmly, or at least tried to around the shakiness she felt creeping into her voice. "You're just a trick of my mind. From here on, you can't make me hurt anypony else."
The thing stared at her for several seconds, then burst out laughing. "Idiot! I knew you were a weak, pathetic coward, but I didn't think you were stupid too!"
Fluttershy was taken aback by the display, but quickly decided it was only trying to distract her. "It's time for you to leave. I'm retaking control."
"No. Now go cry in a cage some more."
Fluttershy flared her nostrils in frustration, but she pressed on. "If my mind made you, it can unmake you. Now go away before I... uh, do that."
"Do I have to spell it out to you?" the creature mocked. "This may be in your mind, but you aren’t crazy—not that crazy anyway. You're hijacked."
"No." Fluttershy stepped back in trepidation. "That... that's not possible."
"Isn't it?" The thing stepped forward, mirroring her movements. "Because I think you already know the truth, you're simply refusing to accept it because it's scary, because it hurts your puny little mind. I mean, think about it: you enter a completely unknown world with unknown rules, and the first thing you do is mentally check out for a few days. Zero mental defenses whatsoever! Idiot! Even the little chit would have had no problem resisting, but you? Oh ho ho, you are a special kind of weak!"
It stepped forward again, coming face to face with a now-cowering Fluttershy. "You know, I don't think I've ever heard of a pony as pathetic as you. A pony pathetic enough to simply leave the door to her mind open. I mean, you might as well have hung a 'take me over and kill everything' sign from your neck!"
It let out a harsh laugh. "Now come one and come all, everypony! Here we have a special attraction. It's Fluttershy, Element of Sticking Her Head in the Ground While Her Friends Get Slaughtered En Masse! Watch as she sits and cries until her problems disappear on their own like storybook magic!"
"No!" Fluttershy cried out, collapsing into a ball on the floor.
"Shut up, I'm not done!" It screamed, now more manic than cold. "Because do you know the best part? I bet you're even stupid enough to think that chit bumping into you woke you up! But no! I did that! I saved you from becoming as worthless as that tree you'd like so much to be, and now you're MINE! So, kindly go back to your cage and bawl your eyes out while I tear apart your miserable little friends."
"NO!" Fluttershy rose and struck at the creature in front of her. Then when it started to get up, struck again, then again, and again, again, again, again. And she kept going until her leg was red all the way up to the shoulder and the hateful thing was little more than a crimson pulp. And then she hit it a few more times, just for good measure.
“I think it’s dead,” the warmer voice began from the darkness beyond the platform, sounding highly amused. “You can stop now. It won't resurrect itself for some minutes.”
Only at its words did Fluttershy realize how overboard she’d gone, and so did she immediately step back from the corpse in horror.
“I… I never meant to…”
“You did what you had to do,” the motherly voice reassured. “Nopony would blame you for being a tad enthusiastic.”
“Don’t pretend you’re on my side!” Fluttershy spat, looking up and across the void to find a pair of glowing, golden eyes watching her. “That thing was doing what you told it!”
“Yes, and while I could watch you and my little 'angel' fight for some time yet, I think it is time I concede defeat. In truth, I suppose I should have conceded the moment that message got out. Some things are just hard to let go of.” Even unable to see more than the eyes, Fluttershy got the distinct feeling the thing was smiling at her.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I'm dying, and only the darkness has offered me the means to survival. Speaking of, it seems you may be having a bit of trouble with that just now.”
Fluttershy frowned, then gasped as a stabbing pain filled her chest, blood flowing from a wound that struck right to the heart.
“Goodbye, my sweet little pony. With these spheres a failure, it is time I turn to alternate means. Hmm, perhaps I will follow up on that cult's work...”
Fluttershy collapsed to the floor, only just realizing that the platform had some kind of emblem carved into it. It was a crescent moon within a solar flare, all in red and white.
She frowned, feeling her head grow light with slow motion blood loss as the red mass beside her began writhing, putting itself back together. Haven’t I seen that symbol before? Wait, the inside cover of that book…
Her vision blurred, and she looked up one last time. Those golden eyes were gone now. She’d been left alone in the dark.
Sweetie Belle Jumped and weaved around Fluttershy's flailing limbs, trying to find an opening to get Light's knife to Rarity. Recovering the knife had turned out to be simple, actually making use of it not so much. Fluttershy had expertly blocked every path to her sister, and Sweetie'd gotten kicked more than once trying already. She'd even tried to use the knife herself, but her small size meant that she never had the strength or reach to make more than a superficial cut before being batted away.
Rarity wasn't faring much better than she was, covered in blood and sweat and too focused on surviving the next blow to meaningful converse with Sweetie Belle, though she still made the occasional plea for Sweetie to leave her and hide.
And then something changed in Fluttershy. Her body froze up, the axe held high failed to swing down, and a distant look replaced the murderous glare in her eyes.
Sweetie didn't know what any of that meant, but she wasn't about to waste her chance—not when Fluttershy could be back on the attack at any second. Tilting back her muzzle, she flipped the knife through the air so that it would land handle first right next to Rarity's head.
Rarity wasted no time either. She grabbed the knife in her mouth, and plunged it directly into Fluttershy's heart. The pegasus gasped—though her eyes still appeared unseeing—then collapsed directly onto Rarity. A second later, her body was pushed off into a crumpled heap by a set of white-soaked-red hooves.
A moment of stunned silence passed as the two of them stared at Fluttershy’s body.
It... it's over?
Sweetie Belle turned to look at her sister, still alive. “Rarity!” She pounced forward and hugged her, remembering only at the last moment to be gentle, since Rarity was still wounded. Regardless, Rarity groaned in pain.
“Oh, sorry!” Sweetie jumped back.
“It’s… not you.” She gave Sweetie a commiserate, almost regretful look, shadowed by pain.
Sweetie Belle examined Rarity's injuries, a sinking feeling in her stomach. “Were any of them from… you know.” She nodded toward the axe.
“I’m sorry, darling.” Rarity lowered her head, not quite meeting Sweetie’s gaze. “I know you wanted us to get out of this together.”
Sweetie’s eyes widened in horror. “No. No! You can’t leave me! You… you…” she paced back and forth, beginning to hyperventilate, “you’ll hold on until help comes. You’re tough. And I’m sure they’ll be here any minute, right?”
"I hope so, but..." Rarity lowered her head sadly, “for all we know, help may not come for days. And it isn’t a matter of being tough enough. I seem to have little choice in the matter.”
“No…” Sweetie choked out a sob. “It isn’t fair! We won! You’re supposed to live!”
"Maybe I will. The stars will align and everything will work out." Rarity gave a pained hiss. "Probably wishful thinking. Either way, I'm happy knowing you will." Rarity extended a hoof toward Sweetie, forcing a smile. "Now won't you come hug your sister? I don't imagine I'll be conscious much longer, and I'd rather like to spend that time with my favorite filly."
Sweetie Belle sighed, then did as she was asked, cuddling up against Rarity while she still could. "Sis, what's the point of living if I'm all alone?"
"You won't be." Rarity tried to hide a pained wince. "Another me will be there. She'll take care of you. I'm sure of it."
"But—"
"No buts. Now," she grabbed Sweetie to look her in the eyes, "I need you to promise me something."
"What?"
"Promise me you'll keep trying, that you'll make the most of life. I assure you, it still has a lot to offer."
"I... I will." Sweetie looked down at her own shoulder injury. "What about my wound?"
"If it gets infected, ask Zecora for a potion."
"No, but... won't I bleed out?"
Rarity raised an eyebrow, looking amused despite the pain. "Sweetie Belle, 'tis little more than a large scratch. You may need a few stitches, but you'll be fine."
“Oh. That’s good,” Sweetie Belle muttered, though the words sounded hollow to her own ears. It was hard to see the bright side with her sister dying beside her.
When Rarity didn’t immediately respond, Sweetie turned to check her over, finding her sister’s eyes shut and teeth clamped tight in pain.
“Rarity?”
“Hmm? What is it?” Rarity asked breathily, then paused before continuing with, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be curt. What… what can I do for you?”
“Are you okay?” Stupid! You already know the answer to that.
“No,” Rarity replied honestly. “No, Sweetie, I am not okay. I'm not okay with the pain, I'm not okay with dying, and I am most certainly not okay with what this will do to you."
"I—" Sweetie bit back her tears. "You shouldn't have to worry about me. I don't want things to end sad. Can... can we just pretend help is almost here?"
"Sure, love. Let's do that."
And so the two of them held each other in hopeful silence. And when Rarity lost consciousness, Sweetie continued hoping all on her own. Help was around the corner. She just had to be patient. Everything would be okay. Rarity's heart was still beating.
It was still beating, wasn't it?