• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
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iloveportalz0r


I hav Autismᴴᴰ ヽ༼°ل͜°༽ノ

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Rainbow Dashie

DERPI-LINKVALIDATION-7582769143

lelelelelelhuekak

RIP in peace, DæmoN64 ;_;

Aug
18th
2012

The Art of Plain Speech · 12:46am Aug 18th, 2012

This is the introduction to a short-story book by Ben Bova. I typed it all out for you peoplez, so here it is:

It is the secret of the artist that he does his work so superlatively well that we all but forget to ask what his work was supposed to be, for sheer admiration of the way he did it.
–E. H. Gombrich, The Story of Art

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Tank you for taking an interrest in Can I hav a hu please? and I hope you will enjoy it.

3267662
Nah, the errors all used to be real images. I'll get around to fixing it eventually :moustache:

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1081010102787637408/1103730245502246982/lolhaha.PNG
I don't know if this was intentional, but I feel like it gets the message across even better :rainbowlaugh:

3218896
Did you get a lying notification? I added it to my Read It Le Later list, not my faves :moustache:

Thanks for the favourite.

Thanks for taking an interest in Legends of Magic! I hope that you enjoy it once you read it!

Thank you for adding my story :pinkiehappy:

Thank you for adding Sex Therapy to your shelf!

3092297
There had better be an escalator in it :moustache:

Thankie for adding The Mayonnaise Ghost to your library. :twilightsmile:

Thankie for adding One Sprout, Many Buds to your library. :twilightsmile:

3051889

Oops, my bad. I missed it was your Read It Le Later folder.:derpytongue2:

3051846
I did not add it to Fayvrits. I added it to Read It Le Later :moustache:

Thanks for the fave on my "Twilight & Spike Give Two Alicorn Princesses 'The Talk'" story. Did anything in particular stand out that you liked?

Godlovesyou GOD BLESS. God loves you, now and forever.

Thank you for the interest! :pinkiehappy:

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Quotes

[11:54:42] The Accursed One: I just got back from selling useless shit
[11:55:49] Regidar, Devotee of the Onion: ah, so you were selling bibles?

[20:12:26] darf: i'm so hard for deep sea fish, you guys

I saw this guy in the theater talking on his cell phone. I thought about chucking popcorn at his head until he shut up, but then I saw my WWJD wrist band, so I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.

From what I have heard and consider the word "fuck" is derived from the German word "Frichen" which means "To strike" so if the word "buck" is taken into the same consideration then I can assume from the current usage of "fuck" then it could be considered the same for that purpose.

^ Jcn840

Adoption counts as incest in the same way that curling counts as a sport: by technicality and a bunch of angry canadians protesting it to be.

^ Regidar

[17:15:17] Ethesto, the Scrotum Hunter: They should genetically engineer a giant bug and a small, purple pony and force them to have sex in front of a camera.

[16:16:49] Columbine: lick my pussy
[16:17:14] Columbine: my delicious, tight, sweet underage filly pussy

60's Spiderman is like the distilled essence of every troll ever to inhabit the darkest corners of the internet

Mr. Grimm

[16:18:20] Cola Bubble Gum: I wrote a story about heroin addiction once so I got shot up with heroin.
[16:18:27] Cola Bubble Gum: Had to know how it felt.

[18:19:00] DeluxeMagnum69: Have no fear, Deluxe is here.
[18:19:16] DeluxeMagnum69: You better not cry, I'm going in dry.

201?-??-??, PM

[12:13:21] Sapir-Whorf: I don't want you to NOT write a story.
[12:13:50] Sapir-Whorf: But neither do I particularly want you to write one.

[18:57:14] Chuckward.exe: I wanna become a sportscaster so I can get fired for saying "Virginia Tech is getting massacred."

[14:37:51] PoopTickler the Jublz: >sister found my porn
[14:37:59] PoopTickler the Jublz: >inb4 change password
[14:38:08] PoopTickler the Jublz: >inb4 DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING
[14:38:24] Cockfag: Just have sex with her.

[3:53:28] Chimesward: Every Christian Down in Christville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Atheist,Who lived just north of Christville, Did NOT!
The Atheist hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his neckbeard wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his trilby was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason for this
May have been that his autism, was two sizes too big.
Whatever the reason, His beard or his hat
He stood there on Christmas Eve, being ugly and fat.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Atheist frown,
At the poor little theists that riddled the town.
For he knew every Christian down in the town's park.
Was being brainwashed by the bullshit that was Noah's Ark.
"And they're praying like morons!" he said feeling sour,
"They could be curing cancer with this wasteful hour"
Then he growled, his hand making a furious fat fist.
"I MUST find some way to show them God doesn't exist!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, the Christians would have fun,
The kids would be up early, awake with the sun.
And then! Oh, the prayers! Oh, the prayers!
Prayers! Prayers! Prayers!
That's one thing he hated! The Prayers!
PRAYERS! PRAYERS! PRAYERS!
Then the young Christians would sit down in silence.
As the head retard Christian spouted dumb pseudo-science.
Preach! Preach! PREACH!
They'd preach about miracles, love, and belief.
Which was something the Atheist couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Christian down in Christville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start hymning!
They'd hymn! And they'd hymn! And they'd hymn!
HYMN! HYMN! HYMN!
And the more the Atheist thought of this harmless old hymn.
The more the Atheist thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for almost a month I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST help these sheeple get enlightened! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE Atheist GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Richard Dawkins hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Atheist trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like a dick!"
"All I need is a redditor..." The Atheist looked around.
But, since redditors are basement-dwellers, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Atheist? No! The Atheist simply said,
"If I can't find a redditor, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his friend, Max, and promptly did say.
"I need you to stay on r/atheism for a day."
Then he mined out some quotes, from a dusty old book,
and formed dumb straw-men as he orgasmically shook
Then the Atheist said, "m'lady!" And then he waddled down,
Toward the homes where the where the Christians slept in their town.
Each house was all dark, no lights to be found,.
Why the Atheists wheezing was the only audible sound.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Atheist hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, science textbooks in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
Because this neckbearded jerk was a fat piece of shit.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Holy Bibles all sat on a shelf.
"Good job Atheist," he grinned, "you've outdone yourself.!"
Then he slithered and slunk, grinning all the while,
Around the whole room, he snatched every Bible!
NIV! King James! New English too.
There wasn't one left when the atheist was through.
And with a sick grin, and breath reeking of feces,
He placed in their stead Origin of Species.
Then he slid to their fridge and took all their Mountain Dew.
He took all their bubble gum intended to chew!
He raided the pantry as quick as a flash!
To add more unnecessary mass to his Atheist ass.
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Atheist, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Atheist grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Christian!
Little Cindy-Lou Christian, who's age rhymed with Christian.
The Atheist had been caught by this tiny Christian daughter,
But it wasn't the first little girl he'd had to slaughter.
She stared at the Atheist and said, "Richard Dawkins, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Atheist was such a huge prick,
That he said," Fuck you kid, you're a huge dick.
And so, as tears streamed down her face,
Little Cindy-Lou Christian was punch in the face.
"Serves you right bitch, for being dogmatic."
"All of you Christians are so problematic."
Disregarding the child, he turned to the chimney.
And with his autistic strength he stuffed up the tree.

Then He did the same thing To the other Christian's' places.
Stealing their Bibles and punching girl faces.
It was quarter past dawn... All the Christians, still asleep,
The Atheist looked on quite happy like a sniveling creep.,
He had taken their Bibles, their CDs and all of their crosses.
But surley he'd made up for their hefty losses.
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. trilby.
He rode with his load to the tiptop for a massive book burning!
"PoohPooh to the Christians," he was atheistishly humming.
"They're finding out now that there's no Second Coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Christians down in Christville will be Atheists too!
"That's a sight," grinned the Atheist, "That I simply MUST see!"
"Soon everyone will be a doucheweed like me."
And he did see a sight just on the horizon.
And the Atheist found it to be very surprising.
He could barely make out what the Christians were saying.
It sounded like..but it couldn't be. They were still praying!
He stared down at Christville! The Atheist was flabbergasted!
Despite all his efforts their faith still lasted.
Every Christian down in Christville, the tall and the small,
Was praying! Without any Bibles at all!
He HADN'T stopped religion from staying! IT STAYED!
Despite his gay trilby it stayed just the same!
And the Atheist, with his fat feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out Bibles! It came without crosses!"
"It came despite all of their terrible losses!"
And he puzzled three hours, still pondering it..
Till finally it hit him like a brick hitting shit!
"Maybe Christianity," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christianity to them...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Christville they say,
That the Atheists autism shrunk three sizes that day.
And the minute his trilby didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the Bibles! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Atheist carved the roast beast!
[3:56:32] bronified: Science.
[3:56:49] Chimesward: le
[3:57:03] bronified: Science.
[3:58:59] Chimesward: no u
[7:49:33] Michael "Theodoric": That was really funny.
[8:42:22] The Watcher: No, it was beautiful

[9:14:23] The Accursed One: um
[9:14:27] The Accursed One: what is this
[9:20:12] PoopTickler das kleine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).: Hell.
[9:30:22] The Accursed One: So i died?
[9:30:25] The Accursed One: Time to respawn!
[9:30:28] * The Accursed One left the chat (Unsubscribed).

[15:33:19] live:syeekoh: Rape should be legally changed to surprise sex and be legal

[16:08:14] zel: do you ever feel yourself open the door, only to get on the floor and walk the dinosaur?

2014-09-19, MLF

[17:07:10] Branded - Space Architect: We all have those moments where you just have to finger a unicorn...

2014-??-??, ?

[15:27:29] Hey, you seem to know your way around computers. You mentioned that yo: What do you call a black tumor?
[15:27:34] Hey, you seem to know your way around computers. You mentioned that yo: A negrowth.

2014-12-15, Foalcon

[13:53:25] Zippy Sqrl: As an artist, I sure do love ₯

2014-12-17, MLF

[18:00:56] Bly: i'll do anything for money :P
[18:02:07] Mr. Metric: Will you kill yourself for money? Ö
[18:02:31] Bly: yes
[18:02:36] Bly: i will kill myself for money
[18:02:39] Mr. Metric: kek

2014-12-18, MLF

[15:13:00] Majin Syeekoh: I enjoy fucking women in the ass
[15:13:05] Majin Syeekoh: It pleases me

2014-12-24, Dank Meme Crusaders

[17:59:07] zel: Rucking autocorrect

2014-12-24, PM

[18:07:50] Cold Blitz: Excuse me but who would not want to suck a horsecock

[18:14:38] Cold Blitz: Asking if someone wants to suck a horsecock is like asking someone who has cancer if they want to live

2015-01-12, PM

[12:11:38] Anonymous: Damnit, I just want to fuck relatives, kids and horses. >_>

2015-01-13, Foalcon

[18:11:02] Mr. Metric: I can suck my dick
[18:11:05] Mr. Metric: Can you suck your dick?
[18:11:09] The Accursed One: Nope.
[18:11:11] Mr. Metric: :[
[18:11:14] The Accursed One: Do I want to?
[18:11:16] Mr. Metric: Yes
[18:11:29] The Accursed One: Honestly, kinda. But I'm accepting of the fact I won't be able to.

2015-01-13, Dank Meme Crusaders

[19:18:24] zel: i fucking hate chuckward k

2015-01-14, map lovers (?)

[14:58:24] Section 31: Your teeth are the result of the skeleton trying to escape

2015-01-15, Foalcon

[07:38:41] Zippy Sqrl: if they are old enough to count, they are old enough to mount (y)

2015-01-25, MLF

[19:53:30] Deluxe-dono 。◕‿‿◕。: I would fuck Twilight
[19:55:10] Anita C. Seriene (Molly Moon/White Starr): ^
[20:02:34] Mr. Metric: Only a faggot wouldn't
[20:03:39] Deluxe-dono 。◕‿‿◕。: I wood berry mai dick so far up her ass dat that next person who pulls it out will be crowned king arthur
[20:04:35] Mr. Metric: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2015-01-28, map lovers (?)

[16:29:39] lexdegula: If the a in apart is apart from apart, then it is no longer a part of apart

2015-02-04, Foalcon

[18:33:38] daiosharune: You're off your nut if you think I'm not filling those sexy foals with baby batter.

2015-04-19, Dank Meme Crusaders

[13:17:54] Wheouth: god i love the smell of earwax
[13:18:13] Cor Metric: ._.
[13:18:16] Cor Metric: Sick fuck
[13:18:29] Wheouth: there is no smell like it

2016-03-22, Dank Meme Crusaders

[14:49:46] Zorian Kaziński: it is working well except it is not working at all

note: Zorian = zel

2016-03-30, 23:51:29, thread Who would win? Part 1 in the Human in Equestria group

I'm half wondering if there are two browser windows open with different logins. That or I need to upgrade this from the OP eating paint chips, and into child of thalidomide territory. :ajbemused:

2016-03-30, 00:18:01, same thread and user [link]:

Good artist, although I feel bad referencing his music in a thread full of AIDS like this one. This thread is sad. Like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a nerf ball sad.

Arxsys

Das Kästchen

Stuff that I should do before knighty bans me:
[] Make a list of stuff that I should do before knighty bans me

As of 2013/12/07: Banned from FIMFiction's IRC channel by a farquaad named Artimae. No, I don't know why.

List of people who have blocked me:
- AribanDeTyral - ?
- Aegis Shield - ?
- Dark Colt Sabata - ?
- DawnFade - ?
- Derpy Fan 4eva - Butthurt
- Dimondium - He has some issues with controlling his anger ([link])
- OmegaZilo - ? (note: user no longer exists)
- Overlord-Flinx - Protip: Tell people that they are annoying you before getting angry :facehoof:
- Owlor - ?
- Poultron - ?
- The Royal Caribbean - He apparently does not like the Spikestache :moustache: (note: user no longer exists)
- Vinetion~R. - ? (note: user no longer exists)
- Cynewulf - ?
- luckytheseal - Religious shit (note: user no longer exists)
- H123G - ?
- the parasprite - Wants to be on my list
- wayward_pony - ?
- PeachClover - is an autistic faggot
- Art Inspired - ? (note: not sure if accualy block, maybe was dolan)
- TheExhaustedBrony - We have differing senses of humor + he/she expresses annoyance very poorly
- Seven81493 - ?
- MythrilMoth - ? (this guy is a faggot)

>Crystal Empire has pegasus jousting
>no native pegasi
>Crystal Empire

Someone should tell knighty to fix the color tag. It breaks with multiple lines.

Pictures and shit:

Klasse!

Porno Album

Jan
28th
2014

405 Blog Not Allowed · 3:29am Jan 28th, 2014

[youtube=Vk23atjqtMQ]

[19:23:01] Shrekward: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk23atjqtMQ
[19:23:24] Mr. Portal: >dat title
[19:23:44] Shrekward: Iknorite
[19:23:52] Shrekward: Watch it fucker
[19:25:19] Mr. Portal: Who even made this?
[19:25:34] Shrekward: Dude.
[19:25:58] Shrekward: It's a long running series of straight to VHS films.
[19:26:05] Mr. Portal: I want a Bibleman × FIM crossover now
[19:26:11] Shrekward: Me too
[19:26:24] Shrekward: We could collab. (:|

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