• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 12th, 2016

Karazor


T
Source

Stranded on a hostile, alien world, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash must depend on one another and a fellow alien castaway if they want to return home to Equestria.(originally published on FFN)

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 261 )

I remember when you posted this on Equestria Daily! it was awesome!

I remember reading this a long time ago. Amazing then, Amazing now!

I remember reading this on fanfiction.net quite a while back. It made for a great reread- I really love your sci-fi crossovers and the way you seamlessly integrate OCs (I'm not actually familiar with the crossovers you use so I'm assuming they're OCs) into the story. I hope you write more!

I didn't even notice how much time this took reading...

Awesome is the proper word to describe this story.

I know the one with the 3 claw hand makes me think of the elemental battle armor.

43230
Thank you! I'm always pleased to hear that someone's enjoyed my efforts. And yes, all my non-pony characters are OC's. Duran is actually from an original setting, as well, so it would be impossible for you to be familiar with that particular crossover!

44045
Nope, it's not Elemental armor. Elemental armor has the heavy weapon on the right arm rather than the left, and Duran fires eight missiles in two salvos of four, which is twice as many missiles as the Elemental suit carries!

I'll offer a hint as to the suit's make; it's Davion-made.

Wow, that was fabulous! I only started a couple days ago, but it was actually the first story on this site that I found interesting enough to finish all the way without stopping. Duran was a really interesting character, and I've never read much from Rainbow Dash's perspective before. I'm more a fan of Twilight Sparkle myself, so I was sort of wary when you said you weren't going to be doing anything in her viewpoint early on, but you have failed to disappoint me. Wonderful.

48555 figured but yeah I only know of two power armors from mechwarrior one of them was the elemental witch I know has the claw and a small laser on the hand and a pair of missiles on the shoulders, and the other was the power armor from mech assault with only had a pulse laser, the mortar, and the ability to mechhack

51345
Why, thank you! I'm delighted that you enjoyed it! I'm also actually more a fan of Twilight, but Rainbow's perspective just grabbed me and ran away when I was writing this. Happens that way sometimes!

53780
Heh, I'm fairly sure MechAssault isn't actually canon in the BattleTech universe. If you're curious about what that suit was, feel free to PM me, either here or at FFN, and I'd be happy to link you to the page on sarna.net!

There's more from you! This is terrible... I was planning on sleeping tonight. That's certainly not happening now, though...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need dive head-first into this story

Wonderful story. It took me by surprise, as it is the first fanfic that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
I treat fanfics as a way to unwind and relax at the end of a stressful day, as they usually do not require nor prompt thought.
This was not the case with the Dread Chitin though and for that, I am grateful.
I look forward to reading more of your stories.

this was simply amazing

That was a great story. Ponies in space...

You got anything else written set in Duran's home universe kicking around somewhere? And if so, could you link me? Cause it sounds awful interesting. Although any man who swears by such things as 'Blood and Thunder' and 'Gods of Fire' automatically hops up a couple of notches in my mind. Brilliant tale, and I liked the ending. Felt for sure you were going to have him fall at the threshold, but you dealt with the aftermath rather well.

268420

Yes and no. :-P I realize that's a waffling answer, so I'll elucidate: I've written a fair bit of stuff set in the Tethinar Imperium (Both before it had that name and after its government was established) but none of it is on the internet, and indeed most of it has been deleted. (My typical procedure is write until a story's finished, then delete it. These two stories and one 40k/Star Wars crossover on FFN are the only exceptions thus far.) Yes, it's a bizarre, almost masochistic habit. No, I can't really explain why I do it.

As for Duran's oaths, those are drawn from the religion he follows, one of a half-dozen major religions of the Imperium. I'd be happy to describe it, if you like. (I know there was basically no view into Duran's character since a: the story isn't primarily about him and b: he's more than a bit crazy by the time Rainbow and Twilight meet him, so his internal monologue would be somewhat fractured, but his religion explains quite a bit about him) Said explanation is a bit long, though, and I'd rather not just start spouting off long-windedly on a topic no one may care about!

And I'd like to thank everyone who's taken the time to comment. While I write primarily for my own entertainment, it's always heartening to hear that someone else has enjoyed my mad scribblings. Thanks!

274356
I'd like to hear about that religion, actually. I wish I was as good at world-building as you seem to be.

274460
Okay. Here goes. *cracks knuckles* This is all off the top of my head, so I'm leaving out about six gazillion minor details and bits of history, but...

The Faith of the Flame holds that, in mythic prehistory, the world was threatened by a great evil. A dark, icy force that wished to blanket the world in frost, chilling everything that lived and ensuring that all was ice, forever. The gods who warded the world, beings of life-giving light and fire, gathered in a great force, prepared to stand against the evil, even knowing its fell power could only be checked, never destroyed. In the great battle that ensued, the gods cast the evil down and locked it away in a prison of its own substance, keeping it away from the world it sought to freeze. The price was heavy, however, for the gods were shattered, motes of their being cast throughout the universe that they had sought to ward.
In the Tethinar Imperium, perhaps one person in every thousand (there is one region of their homeworld where the ratio of mages to nonmages is much, much higher, but the reason for that has nothing to do with nature, and that's a bit of a grim story) can wield the forces of magic. The Disciples of Flame believe that these few people are blessed with a fragment of the fractured gods, touched by divinity. The current orthodox faith holds that those so blessed are bound to work for the good of everyone, to use their gift to make the world a better place as the gods would want. (This particular version of the faith started out as a heresy; before, those who held arcane power were considered god-touched, and it was the duty of everyone else to labor for their benefit and comfort, treating those hosting a fragment of a god as though they were gods themselves. A couple of very nasty holy wars later, the heretics won, and the current Faith of the Flame is much nicer in tone) They’re not ascetics or anything; most Flame-follower magic users are just as wealthy as mages that follow any other creed, because they’re not expected to give up rewards or anything, they’re just supposed to focus on making the world… well, better, somehow. Flamites believe that the gods are slowly drawing themselves back together after their apocalyptic battle, and that some day they will coalesce once more, and bless all of mankind with the ability to wield the forces of magic, to build an army that may stand at the gods’ side to resist the evil’s return. The current Flamite creed holds that, by making the world better, they make it easier for the gods to draw themselves together. There are obviously people who follow these beliefs with varying degrees of sincerity and commitment. (and there are just as obviously competing visions of what ‘better’ means; people have done terrible things in the name of the Flame, often justifying their actions by saying that they’re making the world better by destroying evil) Duran has always done his level best to follow the Flame’s creed, and he’s always wanted to make a difference, even though his magical ability isn’t very strong. He's very smart, though, and that's why he wound up in the department he was in. When his sister died, he felt like it was a sign that he hadn’t been trying hard enough, hadn’t been doing enough, and wound up doing something massively stupid because he wasn’t really thinking properly. (It didn’t help that some of the artifacts he worked with were messing with his head. Relics from the Arcane Wars are often extremely dangerous; there’s a reason that psychological evaluation and therapy is mandatory for anyone working in the Archaeological Engineering department)

Hell’s Reach was a very particular kind of hell for someone like Duran. Not only was there no one he could help, but using his gift at all drew voracious predators down upon him; it was like he was being punished for the god-mote he carried. (Note that he didn’t actually consider himself in hell the way, say, a Christian probably would. The Faith of the Flame doesn’t really have a punitive afterlife; what they call ‘hell’ is the prison that evil was locked away in. He just feels like he’s in prison with it.) (And no, Hell’s Reach wasn’t particularly cold; evil comes in all temperatures. :-P)
And then Twilight and Rainbow show up. Suddenly, he’s got someone to help again. A way to make the world better, even if it’s just helping these two strangers get home. He spends time talking to them, and realizes that where they come from, the things that his religion promises have already come true. Everyone has magic, of some form. The fear he expressed came from a couple of sources; one, he didn’t really think he was worthy to be in a place like that. And two, the last time he went through a Rift, he wound up in what he considers part of evil’s prison, where no one belongs, and he’s subconsciously terrified that by attempting to escape, he’ll actually be going deeper into it. Then Rainbow all but hauls him through, risking her own life to pull him out of hell’s grip. He doesn’t really say it, but he considers both Twilight and Rainbow almost like his personal angels, and he would do pretty much anything for either of them. He’s fundamentally a decent man, but he’d be willing to do terrible things if either of them had ever been threatened, or if they’d asked him to.

...That was longer than I expected it to be, sorry. Thanks for the interest, though!

And world-building isn't really hard, it's just time-consuming. I've been building the Tethinar Imperium for... wow, almost twelve years now. You start small, think, 'hmm, what would happen if this happened,' and it all just kinda snowballs!

274666
Well. Thankee Kindly. Hadn't been expecting quite so detailed a description quite so quickly. And I reckon I mostly lack the patience for world-building. The fact that my attention span isn't the longest in the world can't be helping...

274895

I type fast. :-D That was all off the top of my head, so it wasn't exactly a huge effort! Sorry if it was a bit much.

As far as world-building goes, this may seem silly, but I'd honestly recommend running an RPG. D&D, Rogue Trader, MechWarrior, Exalted, Shadowrun, even a White Wolf game or something. That's what got me started, the whole "the world keeps happening outside of your players' view" angle. Turned out to be a ton of fun, and it lends both games and stories a feeling of depth. It's honestly not difficult; keep a notebook nearby or something, and when you think of an event, write it down. Then, spend an hour or so a month reading over what you've come up with, tying the various events together, and extrapolating what's already happened into what might happen later. I personally find it a fascinating process.

275035
Oh, I run RPG's fairly regularly. Trouble is, I mostly run one-shots, cause my group isn't exactly organised... on the other hand, I might try following your advice if I can come up with a setting I like... 275035

What is this a crossover of?

Hmm. Never realized this was here. This is still sentimentally my favorite FiM fanfic.

Wow. You do some really good work. I just finished reading both this story and your War-hammer one over just 3 days. Very good work.

great storie dude.all i got to say is thanks for not killing any of the three.I kinda love those happy ending :pinkiesmile:

Fifteen years alone? Not surprisingly that he treated them as if they are nothing but hallucinations.
Very well written story. Why it have so few comments?

This fic is awes-win-masing, I don't know the story of Battle Tech but i am captivated.
<a href="http://www.gifbin.com/982578"><img src="http://gifs.gifbin.com/1237811519_chuck-norris-approves.gif" alt="funny gifs" /></a>
and a moustache for your trouble. :moustache:

Just finished this story. This is one of the better Human/pony stories. A good balance between the characters and a happy ending. Almost wish a sequel could be made.

907829

Sequel is actually in the works, though I can't offer an ETA. Duran's dead, of course, and the story centers around an exploratory mission conducted by Equestria's first starship.

916784
I'm surprised he didn't download his conscious into a robot or something.
Regardless, looking forward to your story.

Very detailed chapter. Good work.

I love this part when Rainbow read about aerodynamics and plane technology. Dash in exoskeleton. I want to see this in the end of story.
BTW, is this Earth or other planet in Battle Tech universe? And what happened here?

I've been reading that," she nodded at the journal, "and some parts of it seriously disturb me. He's clearly inclined towards violence, he fights and even kills other creatures fairly often, and with no sign of remorse that I've seen."

Dear Stupid Twilight Sparkle: These creatures are a ruthless, merciless and murderous monsters and you are sorry for them? WTF?!?!

Anyway, great chapter. This prank war part was hilarious.

"Ponies don't fight! We certainly don't kill if we can avoid it!"

Aha, and fight with Discord, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Changelings was not a fight? And because you don't kill anything, Discord, Chrysalis and Changelings are still a threat to you! Flawless way of thinking Twilight, flawless.

One of the most original and interesting MLP fanfic with human/s I've ever read. Phenomenal work. I will be waiting for sequel (and I hope that more humans show up).

917415
Uploading someone as... damaged as Duran was would be extremely risky. He was kind of insane, after all. Amusingly, during the conversation where Dash was trying to convince Twilight he was safe to take with them, they were both right. Duran wasn't a threat to them, meaning Rainbow and Twilight, but Twilight was absolutely right in that he was dangerous. He spent thirteen years without any social contact whatsoever, in an environment that tried to kill him constantly. His responses to stress are way, way out of whack. You'll see what I mean once I get the sequel done.
936702
This is, in fact, in another reality altogether. The Davion exploration ship suffered a drive failure and misjump. In BattleTech, a misjump means the ship can be thrown offcourse, arrive at its destination wrecked, arrive at a different location altogether, or be completely lost and never heard from again. In this case, the last happened, and the ship jumped into a different universe. In particular, a place that was a high-probability endpoint for undirected interuniversal rifts. None of the creatures in the story were actually native to that world.
937091
And thank you. They may, though they won't be humans from Duran's empire.
This was written well before the beginning of the second season; most of that hadn't happened. I'd certainly rephrase that line if I were writing it now! :-P
937531

943150
Ooooh, I just got an idea. What if he did download his conscience into a machine, and that computer ended up being the bad guy. You know like Hal except he was once your friend.

Beautiful story, and one of the best written Rainbow Dashes I've read. Why can't I have you as a DM (or GM, whichever you prefer)?
:raritycry:

972490

Thank you! Man, it's been ages since I GM'ed, and my style isn't necessarily for everyone. Most of my players were theater majors, who when handed a world and a few adventure hooks they were free to ignore would set out in their own direction. Science-major gamemaster and theater-major players was like a match made in heaven. It was loads of fun for us, but we did lose a couple of players who didn't like the style.

Interesting to see you having brought your work to FimFiction as well :)

Great story! Loved it all the way through. I love Rainbow/Twilight adventures. I also like how Duran passed peacefully, but left a load of awesome stuff as his legacy. 10/10 for me!

This fic was simply to wonderful for words, i salute you!

The one thing i did wish you could have written more about would be the last days of Duran's life, how everybodys/everypony's reactions was knowing their friend would soon leave them, and how Rainbow dash were after his death, how it affected her, did she do something to honor his memorie etc, etc, that would have added some serious drama to it all, and i do REALLY hope that you might actully write something about that later.

1010847
Yeah, a couple of folks asked me to post here after I put Foul Light on FFN. This place takes forever to format for, but the end result is nicer for the readers.

1027809
Glad you liked it! Yeah, Duran jumped Equestria ahead by probably a hundred and fifty years by the time he died, and he set them up for rapid advancement up to the Tethinar state of the art.

1042663
I'm going to put some of that in as flashbacks in the sequel. Twilight and Rainbow were pretty devastated when he died.

I've got the prologue for the sequel, Outside the Reaching Sky, going up shortly, partially as a teaser and partially hoping that doing so will break my writer's block. Let me know what you guys think!

276123 I thought it was 40K? maybe it's anachronism stew and has bits of both? I'm liking it, regardless. The use of awkward innuendo was well timed, and the reactions were priceless.

I like. To bad my nerd cred on this topic is low. I'd have known more about Star Wars or Halo or even the mechs, if you'd described them more. Eh, you win some you lose some. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png

1052760
Nope, it's BattleTech, I promise. The mimetic suit was a Federated Suns attempt to copy the Word of Blake Purifier suit, and the heavy suit that appears later is a modified Grenadier, with a battle claw and extra armor in place of some of the SRM ammo. I did take some inspiration from 40k on some of the monster designs, but the tech is 100% BattleTech.

1056430 so it's a guy from 40K and ponies from Equestria getting thrown together in a battletech environment. That's what I THOUGHT... but I had to make sure. Did you ever consider making a sequel to this, or was A Foul Light Shines essentially that?

1057767
Ah, I see the confusion.

No, Duran's from an original setting. The overall crossover here is FiM x BattleTech x Original setting that uses magic to power a science-fiction tech base x another original setting that's composed of a zillion monsters.

Confusing, I know. But then, I never claimed to be good!:pinkiehappy:

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