There's a saying in Equestria that "Keeping the harmony doesn't come cheap." Many owe the saying to the countless ponies—and the Elements of Harmony themselves, no less—who have sacrificed so much to keep a lasting peace in Equestria against all threats.

Twilight just didn't anticipate a more literal component of this... or rather, a monetary one. On the bright side, she now knows to never trust her friends with money again.

Markus Becker is a Hauptmann, or Captain, of the German "Bundeswehr", mechanized Infantry. At least he was, until his armoured car hit an IED and he was sent to Equestria. There he found, that he couldn't move, no matter how hard he tried.
Luckily for him though, there is four-hooved help nearby...

'Sex'-warning added for a few sexual implications here and there... and because of chapter 32.

Added 'Gore' because I noticed that I went a little overboard with the descriptions of the action. Especially given that it is rated 'teen'.

But yeah it probably is. This is going to be my take in the Generic Anon in Equestria trope, freestyled from the beginning of Bridle Gossip at the request of the purchaser. Shennanigans shall most likely ensue. Contains excessive philosophical discussion, pseudoscientific worldbuilding mumbo jumbo, and a light dash of casual humor.

Cover art by Twitter artist Andaluce!

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

If you would like to contribute to the continuation of this story and others like it, you can subscribe to me on Patreon!

Featured seven fucking days running since 2/13/2021 holy shit you guys this is insane :0

Check out a sweet audiobook reading of the first half of the first chapter here, by a wonderful fan ^^.

Starlight loses her sight in a near deadly accident. Her life changes significantly.

To Casketbase77, who proofread, Nitro Indigo, who has waited quite a long time for this to finally be finished, Supermarine Spitfire, who I'm relatively certain also wanted to see this when it was done although I am unsure, and Amit, whose stories I heavily based the structure and cover image of this one off of. We miss you, dude. You're quite possibly the best etymologist I've ever met.

God damn, I write too many sad stories. My next one will be funnier, I promise.

A (belatedly informed) entry into the My Little Pony Renaissance Contest. I promise it was! I just forgot to enter it!

Anon is tired of the hectic day-to-day of living amongst the ponyfolk and decides to purchase some land in the Everfree to have some peace and quiet all by his lonesome. How much land you ask? All of it

Join me in watching as Anon sorts out the bits and bobs of his newfound assets. It is sure to be a ride, and definitely not a smooth one.

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

Takes place starting shortly after the conclusion of Slice of Life.

Featured for Nine Consecutive days from 6-20-21 to 6-29-21!

Check out the audiobook by Straighttothepoint!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhMoe4RfYz0

There's always been traffic crossing the river at the base of the mountain, and that means Canterlot's had a bridge there for centuries. But bridges wear out, while new styles come into play. Commissioning a new span out of the national budget, replacing the worn-out turntable with an arch... that's simple enough. After that, the sensible thing is to just step back and let the architect do their job.

Yeah, right. The sensible thing is clearly for everypony to start telling him exactly how things should be done! Because what does an architect know about bridges, anyway?

It isn't as if 'not having them collapse' was the important part.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art found by K-123 Ту́полев.

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

And she's not happy about it.

Hear what Celestia has to say back! Check out the spinoff:
Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student by keaton-furman-prower

Still want more? Have a multiverse spinoff by MixMassBasher, my contributing writer for Seasons 5-9.
Letters From Across the Disgruntled Multiverse

Editing by Neko Majin C.

Disclaimer:
The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.