Chapter 41
It was Saturday morning in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, school was out for the summer, so all of the foals were celebrating their newfound freedom, and Allen was a man on a mission.
“Come on, where is it?” he mumbled to himself as he searched through the cupboards in his kitchen in search of the coffee can. He’d used up the last of his current container of coffee yesterday, and he had thought there was still one more somewhere in the pantry. Alas, there wasn’t, and now Allen was stumbling around his kitchen looking for coffee grounds that weren’t there.
Angrily slamming the final cupboard door shut, Allen muttered under his breath. “For fuck’s sake! I could have sworn I had another fucking can of coffee left around here somewhere.”
Leaning his head against the cupboard door in tired defeat, Allen sighed. It was bound to happen eventually. I mean, it’s not like stuff magically replenishes itself when you use the last of it up after all... even if that would be a nice feature to have. I wonder if Twilight has a spell for that? He shook his head. No focus, I’m out of coffee... and a lot of other stuff as well.
He stood up straight and looked around his kitchen. Striding over to his fridge and freezer, he opened it and peered inside, the shelves were nearly bare save for a jar of pickles and a jar of strawberry jam, along with a plastic bowl of leftovers from last night.
Hmm, I’m out of just about everything it seems, thought Allen to himself as he surveyed his barren fridge. Shutting the door, he leaned down and opened the freezer door below and was greeted to equally bare shelves.
Shutting the door with another sigh, he shook his head. Guess this is what I get for not paying attention to my food stocks. To be fair, I’ve been kind of busy these last couple of months. Though it looks like I’m going to need to make a supply run into town today then.
Re-opening the fridge door, he grabbed the plastic bowl and pulled it out. Grabbing a plate from a cupboard, he emptied the bowl’s contents onto the plate and stuck it in the microwave to warm up.
While his ‘breakfast’ was cooking, he grabbed a pen and paper and began making a grocery list, only pausing when the microwave dinged that it was done, before resuming his list-making when he had retrieved his food. In short order, he finished his breakfast, and his list, and gathered up some things to take with him, namely his bit bag and backpack. Sticking the list and bit bag into his backpack, he slung it over his shoulders and grabbed his house keys before heading outside. Locking the door behind him, he ambled over to the barn, the mid-morning sun gently warming him as he walked.
Entering the barn, he set his backpack down by the door and wandered over to where Reuben was happily finishing his morning breakfast of fresh-cut hay. Giving the horse an affectionate neck rub, Allen said, “Okay, boy. Today you and I are going to go into town and pick up some groceries.”
Reuben just continued munching on his hay with a snort.
Laughing, Allen replied, “Well of course you can finish your breakfast, I need to grab a couple of things out of the tack room anyways.”
Leaving Reuben to his morning meal, Allen set course for the tack room. Opening the door, he stepped inside and began searching for the two panniers that he knew his mom had bought several years ago for some reason and never used.
I know they’re here, cause I just saw them not that long ago... now, where did I put them? Hmm... ah, there they are.
Stooping down, he pulled the two canvas panniers out from under several saddle blankets that had been ‘temporarily’ placed on the floor until he could get around to putting them away properly. Dusting the canvas bags off, Allen inspected them for any rips or holes, and seeing none, nodded in satisfaction before turning around and setting them in the main area of the barn before returning to the tack room to grab a saddle blanket, saddle, and lead line.
Setting everything down next to the panniers, Allen looked over and saw that Reuben was nearly finished with his morning breakfast and decided to give him a couple more minutes before saddling him up. Turning around, he decided to head upstairs and throw a couple of bales of hay down for tonight ahead of time as he figured he would be pretty tired by the time he came home, and the less work he needed to do then, the better.
Ascending the stairs, he quickly threw down the necessary amount of hay for the evening’s feeding and paused to admire the decent-sized haystack.
Those three did a good job, thought Allen as he gazed at the neat stack of hay. If they’re still around when I cut the next field, then I’ll definitely hire them again. Twilight and Lyra did a pretty good job as well, though by the end they looked like they were about to drop from exhaustion. Can’t say I really blame them, hay work is hard work, and I had a lot more hay than I thought I was going to have.
It was true, Allen hadn’t thought that his ten-acre field would produce over fifteen hundred bales of hay. In all the years that he and his family had done that field the best they had ever gotten off of it in one cutting was around a thousand bales. Usually, it would produce around six to seven hundred bales during the first cutting, and half that for subsequent cuttings. However, this time, things had been different, not that Allen was complaining, as he figured that if this field’s hay yield had essentially doubled in the short time that he had been here, then the Equestrian hay fields should be even better.
Shaking his head, he turned and headed back downstairs. I still can’t believe we managed to get all of that hay put away in a day. Poor Big Mac though, he looked pretty rough by the end of the day. Next time... if there is a next time, I’ll be sure to use a single horse setup instead of a double, it should go a lot better for him. Plus he’ll be using his own harness instead of one designed for a horse that’s a third bigger than him.
Reaching the main floor, Allen strode over to Reuben’s stall and peeked inside.
“You done yet Reuben?” he asked playfully.
Reuben simply nickered in reply and bobbed his head, a couple of stalks of hay falling from the corners of his mouth.
“Well alrighty then, since you’re done, let’s get you saddled up, time’s a-wasting,” said Allen as he opened the stall, grabbed Reuben by the halter, and put a lead line on him.
Walking him out, he tied him to a post and gave him a quick brushing to get any dirt off before he put the saddle and panniers on. Brushing complete, he put the saddle blanket on, followed by the saddle, and adjusted the various straps so that they were snug. Grabbing, the panniers, he hefted them over Reuben’s back and got them attached to the saddle.
The panniers were pretty simple, comprising of a pair of canvas pouches that would hang down on either side of Reuben, with a strong canvas strap that went over Reuben’s back and connected the two bags. One of the bags even had an insulated pouched inside for frozen foods, which was a plus in Allen’s book. Finally, a pair of loops at the front that went over the saddle horn and two metal clips to hook onto the saddle, one on either side at the rear helped keep the two bags from sliding off.
Testing to make sure everything was tied down, Allen gave a satisfied nod and went to collect his backpack. Sticking his arms through the straps, he let it settle on his back and went to untie Reuben, before heading out.
Leading him out of the barn, Allen whistled a merry little tune as he lead Reuben down the driveway before turning right and heading for town. The first part of the journey was relatively uneventful as Allen and Reuben plodded along the dirt road. The only trouble was when they reached the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, and Reuben became skittish as he remembered what had happened the last time he was here.
“Shhh, easy there buddy, nobody is gonna dive-bomb or chase us today,” whispered Allen calmly as he turned around and rubbed Reuben’s neck comfortingly while keeping a firm grip on the lead line in case Reuben decided to turn tail and head home.
Dancing back and forth on his hooves, Reuben slowly calmed down as Allen continued to whisper calm and encouraging words to the nervous horse. The fact that no weird armored-covered equines charged out of the tree line or dived out of the sky at him helped too.
Seeing that Reuben was relaxing, Allen walked him around the area to show him that there wasn’t anything to be scared of. He even walked him under the Sweet Apple Acres archway several times and let him sniff whatever he wanted to sniff. Finally, after about ten or fifteen minutes, Allen decided Reuben had gotten over the worst of his skittishness, and with a firm tug on the lead line, he said, “Alright bud, you’ve had your time to look the area over, so let’s get going, we’re burning daylight here.”
Flipping his ears back and forward, and letting loose a huff, as if annoyed at being hurried, Reuben allowed himself to be led away. Allen for his part just chuckled and shook his head as he resumed his interrupted journey.
Passing by the schoolhouse, Allen could see that it stood empty, the small white gate closed, and the playground devoid of playing foals.
Guess schools out for the summer, mused Allen to himself as he and Reuben walked by. Well, that’s fine, at least I won’t have to worry about a bunch of hyper-active foals spooking Reuben with their antics.
With the school behind them, Allen soon reached one of the rivers that ran near Ponyville. Coming to a stop, he tried to figure out which way to go. Before him the road split and went over two bridges, one went north, and the other went east. The eastern bridge led directly into the market, while the northern bridge went to the train station. Looking back over his shoulder at Reuben, he chewed his bottom lip in thought.
I’m not sure how Reuben will react to being around so many ponies... or how the ponies will react to Reuben for that matter. But I need to get food, and the market is the only place that I know that sells food around here... but it’s really busy and noisy, with a lot of ponies walking and flying about, and I know Reuben will freak the second a pegasus passes by overhead.
Looking around at his surroundings, Allen could see a couple of trees and a few posts along the river. I suppose I could tie Reuben to one of the trees or posts and leave him here while I go buy stuff, problem is that I’d only be able to bring back whatever I could fit in my backpack and carry in my arms, which means a lot of trips back and forth. Plus, what happens if something spooks him while I’m gone or some ponies get the wrong idea about what he’s doing tied up out here, untie him and he wanders away?
Scratching his head, he tried to figure out what to do when a posh voice called out from the other side of the river, “Hello! Allen, is that you over there?”
Blinking, Allen peeked around Reuben and looked in the direction the voice came from, spotting an alabaster-colored unicorn as she came trotting over the bridge.
“Uh, yeah it’s me,” replied Allen with a nod as he watched her approach.
“I thought so,” she replied primly, as she gave a toss of her head, her lush, purple locks bouncing. “I mean, after all, you are the only human in Ponyville.”
“Yep, the only and only,” said Allen simply.
Giving him a warm smile, she turned her attention to Reuben and her eyes practically lit up as she took in his form. “Oh my, and who is this handsome stallion?”
“This is my horse, Reuben,” Allen replied, before turning to Reuben and half-jokingly saying, “Well go on and say hi.”
Reuben’s ears flipped back and forth before he bobbed his head, as if in greeting.
The mare tittered and replied, “Charmed to meet you, Reuben, I am Rarity, Ponyville’s premier fashion designer, if you ever need anything that is chic, unique, and magnifique, just come by my shop, I will be happy to whip something up for you and...” she trailed off as she noticed that Reuben had started munching on the roadside grass, and was now completely ignoring her.
Turning a little green at the sight, she glanced up at Allen unsure as to what was happening. Allen chuckled and explained, “Sorry, Rarity, Reuben doesn’t talk. He’s smart, but not sapient smart.”
Still confused, Rarity replied, “But he nodded when you said to say hi?”
Allen shrugged. “My mom taught him to do that, along with a couple of other tricks. He doesn’t really know what the action means, only that doing it will get him a reward of some kind when you say the command and he does it. He’s like a dog in that regard.”
“I’m... not sure how to feel about this now,” replied Rarity with a slightly disturbed expression on her face as she got a better look at Reuben and noticed the differences between an Equestrian pony and a Terran horse. Stepping closer, she watched as Reuben happily continued to munch away, and decided that her initial remark on his handsomeness had been somewhat premature.
Looking between the two equines, one sapient, the other not, Allen nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I suppose he would fall a little into the Uncanny Valley for someone like you.”
Blinking, she looked away from Reuben and asked, “Uncanny Valley? What is that?”
“It’s when something looks almost like you, but it’s not quite the same, and it elicits feelings of unease or revulsion,” replied Allen as he gently rubbed Reuben’s neck.
“Yes... I suppose that is one way to put it,” remarked Rarity as her eyes wandered over Reuben’s features, before with a sudden gasp, she averted her eyes away from Reuben, her face a bright red in embarrassment.
Noticing her sudden discomfort, Allen asked, “Are you okay?”
Clearing her throat awkwardly, Rarity, still looking away from Reuben replied, “Um, well, did you know that Reuben isn’t... shall we say, decent, dear?”
Still rubbing Reuben’s neck, Allen cocked his head to one side questioningly. “How so?”
Face stilled flushed red, Rarity replied, “He isn’t wearing any overwear dear, and he’s... presenting.”
Allen paused his neck rubbing and blinked as his brain worked through the issue. Finally, the awkward realization hit as he heard the tell-tale sound of Reuben relieving himself, and he said, “Ah... yeah I see what you’re getting at there.”
Retreating swiftly to avoid any chance of being splashed, and her red blush having turned a definitive shade of green, Rarity said, “Yes well, perhaps you should make Reuben here more... presentable before you parade him through town?”
“What, you want me to make Reuben put on a pair of pants or something?” questioned Allen skeptically.
“Well, I was thinking more along the lines of a pair of overwear or at the minimum a cloak to protect his modesty,” suggested Rarity, “as well as to keep you from running afoul of public nudity laws,” she quietly added.
Allen sighed. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, he grumbled to himself.
“And just where the hell am I going to find something in his size on short notice?” complained Allen.
“Perhaps I could be of assistance? I mean, it’s not as if I own a clothing shop and know how to sew custom pieces or anything,” replied Rarity coyly.
Allen gave her an unamused look. “Don’t patronize me.”
Giving Allen a faux look of shock, Rarity easily replied, “Moi? Patronizing? Darling, I haven’t the slightest idea of what you are talking about.” Her small smile and fluttering eyelashes however indicated that she knew exactly what Allen was talking about.
Rolling his eyes, he didn’t rise to the bait and instead asked in a tired tone, “How much?”
Seeing Allen wasn’t in the mood to play word games, Rarity let go a little huff. “You’re no fun,” she said, a small pout forming on her lips at being denied her fun.
“How much?” repeated Allen.
Rolling her eyes, Rarity trotted closer and lit up her horn, pulling a tape measure from... somewhere, Allen wasn’t sure where probably her mane if he were to guess, and after letting Reuben see the floating tape so that he wouldn’t spook, she set to work measuring the patient stallion.
Several minutes later, she returned the tape to wherever it was she brought it from and said, “Alright, I’ve got my measurements, I will return shortly with the finished product.”
“But how much is this going to cost?” called out Allen as Rarity turned and trotted away.
Calling back over her shoulder she replied, “It should only cost about twenty or so bits. Now please be patient dear, I should be back in about an hour!”
Allen opened his mouth to reply, but by that point, Rarity was already over the bridge and had disappeared amongst the buildings of Ponyville.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose with a hand, Allen grumbled, “I need a beer.”
With nothing better to do, Allen looped Reuben’s lead line around a nearby tree and sat down to wait for Rarity’s return. He amused himself by watching random things float down the river, occasionally adding the odd twig or leaf that was in reach to the procession.
Every so often, a shadow would pass by overhead, and Allen would look up to see a random pegasus flying by as they went about their morning routine. The first few times one of them flew over, Reuben had gotten nervous and Allen had been forced to get up and calm the skittish horse. However, after a bit, Reuben became used to the random large shadows passing by overhead and wouldn’t even bother looking up from his grazing binge.
Eventually, Allen spotted Rarity returning, a brown paper package held aloft in her light blue magical aura.
Huh, I’ll be damned, she was only gone for fifty-five minutes, thought Allen as he glanced at his watch.
Levering himself up, he waved in greeting. “Well, that didn’t take long,” he remarked as Rarity floated the package to him.
Taking it in his hands, he quickly unwrapped it, letting the odd mess of straps and canvas fall over his arms like a dry inanimate octopus.
“Well, I did say it would only take me an hour or so darling,” replied Rarity as she gathered up the paper and twine in her magic, carefully folding the paper and rolling up the twine for later use.
“So you did,” commented Allen absently as he tried to figure out how the blasted thing in his arms worked. “How do you put this thing on?”
Gently scooping the article of clothing from Allen, Rarity replied, “Like this darling.”
Carefully showing Reuben the garment, she let him sniff it before then running it along his side so that he knew where it was and wouldn’t become spooked when she went to ‘dress’ him.
Unfolding it, she carefully threaded it between his rear legs and gently lifted it into place underneath him, before fastening it to the stallion.
As she worked, Allen carefully watched and came to the realization that what she was putting on Reuben was essentially a large canvas diaper with a few extra attachments.
As she worked, Rarity happily explained how her creation worked. “I do apologize darling for the crude and rather primitive nature of this overwear, but it was the best I could manage on such short notice,” giving a firm tug on a strap, she made sure that it fit snuggly, but wasn’t too tight. “But, it should work well enough for your needs, and I doubt that dear Reuben here cares too terribly much about how he looks.”
Allen chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, Reuben couldn’t give a damn about how he looks. Hell, half the time he’s content to be covered in dried mud and... other things, and either I or my sister have to hose and brush him to get him looking clean.”
“I... see,” replied Rarity with a wince of disgust at the thought of being perpetually covered in mud and filth. Shaking her head, she refocused her attention on tightening the last strap. “Well, regardless this overwear should keep him decent and prevent him from making a mess when he needs to answer the call of nature as it were. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any elastic bands on hoof, so I had to make do with these straps and buckles, nor did I have any material in his coat color.”
Allen shrugged again. “This is fine Rarity. As I said, Reuben doesn’t really care about fashion, and I’m not really big on it myself. All that matters is that it works.”
Pouting a little at hearing Allen’s polite dismissal of the importance of looking one’s best, Rarity replied, “Well, in any case, as I said this should work just fine at keeping him decent and clean. I’ve sewn a pair of enchanted gems into it that will keep any smells contained, as well as make cleaning a breeze.”
Allen nodded as he inspected the overwear. Lifting Reuben’s tail out of the way, he could see that everything was completely covered and that it appeared that there was some extra padding partway under Reuben’s barrel. “So, not meaning to be crude here, but where will the waste go when Reuben needs to relieve himself?”
“Well, for the... solid waste, there is a pouch that will allow the feces to fall into a separate part of the overwear. This will keep him from soiling himself and will make later clean up easier, simply turn the overwear upside down and dump, and the waste should tumble out. Plus, it’s lined with fluid-resistant fabric which should prevent any... stains from manifesting on the outside. As for liquid waste, there is an absorbent pad underneath his groin that should be sufficient to soak up any urine he may produce while out and about. When you need to clean it, simply detach the straps from the main part of the overwear and let it soak for an hour in a warm, soapy solution before wringing it out, giving it a rinse and final wring and letting air dry.”
“Seems simple enough,” replied Allen with a nod.
Rarity replied with a satisfied nod of her own. “For the most part yes, if I had had the needed materials, then it would be even simpler, as all you would need to do is pull the overwear up between his legs and slot his tail through the opening. However, this will do I suppose.”
“So long as it works, I’m happy,” said Allen as he pulled out his bit bag and asked, “So how much do I owe you?”
“The final price should be twenty bits.”
Absently nodding as he counted out the needed bits, Allen handed the required bits over. Taking them in her magic, Rarity smiled happily at her sale and said, “Thank you very much, and before I forget, that overwear has a six-month warranty on it, if it should start to fray or a strap should break, do not hesitate to bring it to my shop, and I shall repair it free of charge. Though willful destruction of the article is not covered and you will be charged the normal price of repair, plus materials.”
Stashing his bit bag, Allen replied, “A six-month warranty, huh? Never had anything like that before.”
“Really?” asked Rarity in surprise, “I would think that any tailor or seamstress worth their needlework would offer something such as that. After all, if you make good quality clothing, you shouldn’t need to make any repairs for quite some time, so long as the customer takes care of their clothes.”
Untying Reuben from the tree, Allen casually offered a shrug and said, “If any do, I’ve never encountered them before. Of course, I usually just buy mass-produced clothing from a store. It’s cheap and lasts long enough that it’s not a big deal to just toss the worn-out clothes and go buy some new ones.”
“And how long do your clothes last?” she inquired as she fell in alongside Allen as he started walking.
“Depends on the clothes and what you are doing. I’ve seen guys burn through clothes in a few months, but that’s usually because they’re doing hard manual labor and their clothes end up getting shredded. For me, I usually have to get new pants every couple of years.” He paused as he came to the fork in the road and after pondering for a moment asked, “Say, do you know if there is any other place to buy food around here? I’m not sure Reuben is ready for the hustle and bustle of the market yet.”
Rarity gently tapped her chin in thought before saying, “Well, there is Barnyard Bargains on the north side of town, they have a pretty decent stock of affordable foodstuffs, even if it isn’t the freshest, plus they also stock other goods as well.”
“Can you tell me how to get there without going through town? I’m trying to keep Reuben from getting overwhelmed by everything coming at him all at once,” asked Allen.
Giving a nod of understanding, Rarity pointed at the bridge leading north over the river. “If you go over that bridge and follow the road, it’ll keep you on the outskirts of town. Once you reach the library tree, you’ll want to turn right onto Bridle Way and follow that all the way to Barnyard Bargains.”
“Awesome, thanks for your help,” replied Allen gratefully.
“Think nothing of it, dear,” said Rarity, a happy smile on her face, “I am always happy to lend a hoof when needed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home before Sweetie Belle gets into any more trouble.”
Cocking an eyebrow, Allen asks, “Sweetie Belle? If I remember right, there was a filly who went by that name at the Ponyville Schoolhouse when I did my presentation I think, how do you know her?”
“She’s my little sister,” clarifies Rarity, “my parents dropped her off for the summer while they are on vacation.”
“Ah, I see,” replied Allen with a knowing nod. “Though from what I remember, she didn’t seem like much of a trouble maker.”
Rolling her eyes, Rarity replied, “Yes, well you do not have to live with her. I mean, just this morning she tried to make breakfast, and burnt everything, including the juice... somehow.”
“I... didn’t think you could do that,” said Allen, a disbelieving look on his face.
“Neither did I until this morning, yet somehow she managed it,” Rarity sighed, an exasperated look on her face. “Then she managed to upend the table when she tried to put some garnish on one of the plates, making a big mess,” she sighed, “I love her, truly I do, but somedays...”
Allen laughed. “I know exactly what you mean, my little sister can be a real brat sometimes...” he trailed off as his eyes took on a faraway look, “I really miss her though, and my dad too. Guess you don’t realize how much you care about people until they’re gone, huh?”
Lay a hoof on the side of his leg, Rarity said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset by reminding you of your family, I’m sure that Twilight and the others will find a way to make things right.”
Shaking his head, Allen fixed Rarity with a sad smile and said, “Thanks Rarity, and I’m sure you’re right,” taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and with a nod of his head, he continued, “Welp, I better get going, thanks for your help.”
“It was no trouble, you take care, and you as well Reuben,” replied Rarity with a happy nod in return.
Giving a final wave, Allen gave Reuben’s lead line a tug and the two set off. Rarity watched them cross the bridge before with a sigh, she turned around and headed back to her boutique.
As she trotted along, her mind kept replaying the final part of her conversation with Allen. Perhaps, I can spare an hour or two to spend time with Sweetie Belle today.
A small smile tugging at the corners of her lips, Rarity nodded and with a slight spring in her step turned into her front yard. However, both her smile and spring quickly disappeared as she spotted Sweetie Belle hanging up a certain, one-of-a-kind, woolen sweater on the line to dry.
“Oh, hey Rarity!” chirped Sweetie Belle happily as she noticed her sister’s return. Turning, she proudly pointed at the clothesline behind her and said, “I noticed that you had a bunch of things to wash, and since breakfast didn’t go as planned this morning, I thought I could make up for it by doing the laundry for you!”
Rarity’s mouth hung open in muted horror as, before her eyes, her woolen sweater quickly shrunk on the line to the point that only her cat Opal would be able to wear it. Feeling one of her eyes start to twitch in anger, she opened her mouth to berate her little sister before Allen’s voice whispered from the back of her mind.
Guess you don’t realize how much you care about people until they’re gone, huh?
All the frustration and anger that had been welling up in Rarity vanished and in its place was a feeling of shame for her near outburst.
Sweetie was only trying to help, she didn’t know any better. Thought Rarity as she trudged up to the clothesline and looked over the shrunken sweater. Glancing down at her sister, she could see Sweetie’s ears were lowered and she had a sheepish expression on her face as she realized that she had somehow messed up... again.
“Um, oops? Hehe...”
Taking a deep breath, Rarity closed her eyes and took a moment to center herself before opening them again and looking down at Sweetie Belle.
Seeing her sister’s now very worried look, Rarity gave her a small smile and said, “While I appreciate the kind gesture of wanting to help me, I think you should have waited until I was home, Sweetie. Not everything can be washed the same way after all.”
Hanging her head in disappointment, Sweetie replied dully, “I’m sorry Rarity. I just wanted to help.”
Pulling her little sister into a hug, Rarity replied, “I know, and while I am upset at what happened to my sweater, I’m not mad at you,” she paused and looked the ruined sweater over, “at least Opal should be able to fit into it, so it’s not a complete waste.”
“So, I’m not in trouble?” asked Sweetie Belle hopefully.
Looking back down at her sister, Rarity replied, “Only if you promise not to wash or clean anything here without my permission and supervision again.”
“I promise,” nodded Sweetie Belle enthusiastically, a smile forming on her face.
Returning the smile with one of her own, Rarity nodded. “Good, then I think we can put a pin in this lesson and go do something fun together. How does getting some ice cream sound?”
“Yeah!” exclaimed Sweetie excitedly as she jumped up and down at the thought of a tasty treat. This continued for several moments before she suddenly paused and said, “Oh, there was something I wanted to ask you, wait here a second!” and with that, she turned and raced back into the boutique.
Perplexed, Rarity patiently waited for her sister’s return. She didn’t have to wait long, as soon Sweetie re-emerge with a flyer firmly held in her mouth. Sliding to a stop in front of her big sister, she spat it out and presented it to her, a hopeful smile on her face.
Taking the flyer in her magic, Rarity gave it a quick look over.
“Sister Hooves Social this Sunday at Sweet Apple Acres?” she read aloud
“Yeah! Applebloom gave that to me yesterday at school. They’ve got food, games, prizes, and all kinds of cool stuff, so can we go, please?” begged Sweetie Belle.
Reading over the rest of the flyer, Rarity gave her sister a skeptical look. “I don’t know Sweetie, I’ve got a look of work to do if I want to make my deadline on time for my new fashion line.”
Sticking out her lower lip, Sweetie Belle hit her sister with the saddest puppy dog eyes that she could. “Please? We never get to do anything together, and I was really hoping we could do that... I know you don’t like getting dirty and stuff, but maybe just this once, for me?”
Letting loose a sigh of defeat, Rarity conceded. “Alright, we can go, but...” she added, when Sweetie’s face lit up in excitement, “you are going to have to help me with my work order. So that means you will have to do exactly what I tell you to do, understand?”
Adopting a serious face, Sweetie gave her sister a sharp salute and replied, “Yes, ma’am!”
“Good,” nodded Rarity, “now, let me go get my bit bag and we can go and get some ice cream real quick, but we’ll have to eat it on the way home as we’ve got a lot of work to do if we’re going to go to the social tomorrow.”
“Oh thank you Rarity! You’re the best big sister ever!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle happily as she hugged Rarity.
“And you are the best little sister ever,” replied Rarity with a smile.
~oOo~
Meanwhile, Allen and Reuben were just reaching their destination.
“So that’s Barnyard Bargains, huh?” muttered Allen to himself as he and Reuben reached the end of Bridle Way. The store was made to look like your stereotypical gambrel style red and white painted barn, except it had a pair of sliding glass doors and large glass windows showing off the various things for sale inside.
Slowly walking up to the front, Allen watched as several ponies came and went, the glass doors opening and closing automatically as they entered and exited.
Huh, didn’t think they would have automatic sliding doors here. Thought Allen to himself as he and Reuben reached the front doors. Pausing for a moment, Allen looked around but found no place to tie Reuben to that would keep him out of the way. So, with no other options, he decided to bring Reuben inside with him, even though part of him felt very self-conscious at the idea of bringing a full-grown horse into a store of any kind.
However, before they went in, Allen, once again, gave Reuben a minute to get accustomed to the various smells, noises, and sights of the store. As he waited for Reuben to get comfortable, Allen felt his own discomfort rise as he watched various ponies come and go, many of them giving the two of them odd looks.
Guess it’s not every day you see a man trying to lead a horse into a grocery store.
Deciding that Reuben had had enough time, Allen gave his lead line a gentle tug and walked inside. As the two entered, Allen looked around casually.
This place could pass for your average small town dollar/grocery store back home. He thought as he took in the neat orderly rows of carefully stocked shelves, along with the various employees, each wearing an apron that had the store’s logo and name on the front, going about their jobs. The only thing that seemed different from your average human store was the fact that the floors weren’t made out of ceramic tiles, but were instead made out of wood.
Giving Reuben’s lead another tug, he carefully maneuvered the stallion around a group of odd-looking shopping carts and out into the more open main area. Pulling out his shopping list, Allen read the first few items listed, Eggs, milk, butter... hmm, I’ll save those for last, don’t want to break or squish them at the bottom of the bags. Let’s see, let’s start with the canned and dry goods first and then work our way over to the frozen section last.
With his plan firmly set, Allen set off. As he walked through the store, he couldn’t help but notice that ponies were still giving him and Reuben odd looks, as if they weren’t entirely sure what they were seeing or how to respond.
Allen couldn’t really blame them. After all, he figured that a pony leading a prehistoric human around a store back home would draw a few looks as well. The thought didn’t make him feel any better though, and as the awkwardness levels increased, he increased his pace.
Just got to hurry up and get this done, then I can go home and never do this again.
Reaching the canned goods aisle, Allen turned down it and began pulling various items off the shelves and putting them in Reuben’s panniers. Occasionally, he’d catch a pony or two staring at him and Reuben out of the corner of his eye. Most of the time he tried to ignore them, but occasionally he’d turn and give them a forced smile and wave if they stared for too long. This usually resulted in the pony turning red from embarrassment and quickly finding somewhere else to be. However, for the most part, the other shoppers left him and Reuben alone.
At least until he heard an annoyed cough behind Reuben.
“Excuse me, you’re blocking the aisle.”
Leaning around Reuben, Allen caught sight of an annoyed yellow and pink earth pony mare. “Sorry, I’m almost done, and I’ll get out of your way here,” he apologized.
The mare rolled her eyes in reply and went back to waiting impatient, her hoof rhythmically tapping on the wooden floor and her glower of annoyed disgust deepening.
Allen, not wanting to make the awkward situation any worse, quickly finished grabbing what he needed and moved on to the next aisle over.
Unfortunately, it seemed that the annoyed mare was heading in the same direction as no sooner had Allen started looking over the next set of shelves then he heard the mare pipe up again.
“Excuse me, but you are blocking the aisle again.”
Once again, Allen leaned to look around Reuben and replied, “Again, I’m sorry ma’am, give me just a minute and I’ll get out of your way... again.”
Looking at Allen, the mare shot him a dirty look and replied, “I wasn’t talking to you ape, I was talking to your weirdo coltfriend here with the bondage fetish.”
Blinking in stunned confusion, Allen’s only reply was a bewildered, “What?”
Now more upset, the mare maneuvered her cart to the side and stormed past Reuben, drawing a nervous nicker from the stallion and a stamp of his hoof.
Paying him no mind, the mare pointed a hoof at Allen and replied angrily, “You heard me freak. Do you get some kind of sick thrill walking around with this stallion dressed up like this or something? There are foals here for Epona’s sake! So why don’t you take your perverted pet play bondage fantasy and go somewhere else before I call the Guard and have you arrested for indecency! This is a nice town and we don’t need freaks like you two parading around!”
Allen was stunned by the sudden hostility and for a moment, all he could do was open and close his mouth like a fish out of water as his brain couldn’t come up with a proper response that wouldn’t make the situation worse. As the seconds ticked by, he could see that this bothersome mare was becoming more and more angry. Allen knew he needed to find a way to deescalate the situation, but he couldn’t figure out what to say.
His salvation came in the form of a third voice butting into the conversation.
“Now what is going on here?”
The irate mare’s expression quickly changed from disgusted anger to overly smug happiness.“ Oh, Mr. Rich! Thank goodness you are here, this... ape and his freaky coltfriend are causing a disturbance. You need to have them thrown out of this establishment at once!”
Broken out of his temporary brain paralysis, Allen turned to see Filthy Rich casually adjust his tie and offer the mare a pleasant smile, though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Why Miss Glitter Hoof, what a pleasant surprise to see you again,” replied Filthy with a practiced managerial charm. Though Allen could hear the distaste just under the cheerful surface.
Adjusting her inverted bob cut with a hoof, Glitter Hoof replied, “And it’s nice to see you again, Mr. Rich. I must thank you for intervening in that little incident the last time I was here, that bagging colt was very rude, I do hope you disciplined him properly?”
Mr. Rich’s smile took on a more forced look as he replied, “No need to worry, I made sure to have a talk with him.”
“Hmph, I would think he needed more than a talking to, but it is your store, so whatever. Regardless, what are you going to do about this situation, hmm?”
By this point, Mr. Rich’s smile had disappeared, and Allen could see that the business owner was straining not to start grinding his teeth.
“And what seems to be the problem with Mr. Ross and his friend here shopping in my establishment?” he asked calmly.
It was at this point that Allen noticed quite a few shoppers had started hanging around the ends of the aisle, their ears cocked his way as they ever so slowly looked over the available items for sale. Though Allen could see that there were several that weren’t even trying to hide the fact that they were watching the altercation unfold before them. One of them seemed to have decided to start munching on a bag of popcorn that they hadn’t bought yet.
“What is the problem?” retorted Glitter, aghast at the idea that Mr. Rich couldn’t see the very obvious problem right in front of his muzzle. Pointing an accusing hoof at Allen and Reuben, she snarled, “These two freaks are traumatizing young foals with their public perversions, and hogging all the aisle space to boot!”
Mr. Rich for his part looked both Allen and Reuben up and down for several tense moments before asking, “Mr. Ross, what is the purpose of this get-up that your friend...”
“Uh, Reuben,” supplied Allen helpfully.
“Yes, Mr. Reuben here is wearing?” nodded Filthy in thanks.
Licking his lips nervously, Allen replied, “Well, uh, Reuben here doesn’t really interact with the world like you and I do. He relies on instinct to keep him safe and to get him through his day. He can’t really reason like you and I can, so that means if I’m not here to guide him and calm him down when he spooks at something he doesn’t understand, he can get into trouble and either hurt himself or someone else. So this ‘get up’ as you put it is for both his and everyone elses safety.”
“I see, so what you are saying is that Mr. Reuben is essentially ‘disabled’ and you are effectively his ‘caretaker’?” queried Mr. Rich politely.
Allen gave a hesitant shrug. “I guess that is one way to put it. Even though he looks a lot like you guys, at the end of the day he’s just an animal and will react like an animal to things. The only reason I brought him into town today was because I had a lot of things I needed to buy, and he was the only way I had to transport my purchases home quickly. I was planning on leaving him outside, but there wasn’t any place to tie him up where he would be out of the way and safe... and so since the aisles seemed wide enough, I figured I could bring him in with me, and figure something out next time... though from the looks of things, maybe I should have figured something else out instead.”
By the time Allen had finished speaking, he found himself fiddling nervously with the leadline and felt embarrassed that he was acting like a young boy caught doing something unintentionally wrong and trying to reason his way out of trouble.
Seeing Allen’s unease, Mr. Rich gave him a warm smile and replied, “Mr. Ross, we here at Barnyard Bargains are always willing to work with our customers to fit their needs. While we have a no pets in the store policy, I think an exception can be made just this once, however, I would ask you to leave Mr. Reuben outside next time you visit. I’ll see what I can do to provide a place for you to leave him while you are shopping so that he can be safe.”
A feeling of relief flowed through Allen, and giving Mr. Rich a grateful smile he replied, “Thank you, Mr. Rich, I really appreciate that.”
“It is my pleasure,” he said in return before turning his attention back to a dumbstruck Glitter Hoof, “Now, Miss Glitter Hoof, I believe that you owe Mr. Ross and Mr. Reuben an immediate apology, as well as an apology to everypony else here for causing an unnecessary scene.”
Glitter Hoof sputtered, an indignant look on her face. “You want me to apologize to them?!”
Mr. Rich nodded. “And to everypony else as well,” he added, a hint of smugness creeping into his tone.
“I will do no such thing!” she raged, “They are the ones who caused a scene, you even said that this ape was in violation of the store’s no pet policy!”
“That is true, however, in this case, Mr. Ross couldn’t have known about the policy, as we haven’t put up the ‘no pets allowed’ sign back up yet after the last one got up and walked away during Discord’s rampage. Still can’t figure out where the blasted thing got to,” he muttered to himself.
“But-” said Glitter Hoof as she wound herself up for another tirade.
“No buts, Miss Glitter Hoof, I am putting my hoof down,” stated Filthy with authority, “either you apologize right now or I will be forced to ban you from the store until you do.”
“Ban me?!” she screeched, flabbergasted at the thought that someone would ban her of all ponies. After all, she was a customer, and the customer was always right, right?
“That’s correct,” replied Filthy with a nod of finality, “I think that this is something that is long overdue. Do not think that I have been happy with the way you have treated my employee’s in the past. About how you bully and belittle them when they do not bend the knee for your every whim. To be honest, I would have banned you from my store years ago if I had been able to catch you in the act. But you always managed to pull your little stunts when I wasn’t around to witness them, and so it would be your word against my employees, which meant that my hooves were effectively tied. However, things are different now, and it's not just my word either, but everypony else that’s watching right now as well. So, you can either apologize or you can find somewhere else to shop, your choice.”
Glitter Hoof’s eyes darted back and forth as she weighed her options. Finally, she took a deep breath and in an almost mechanical fashion, turned to Allen and Reuben.
“I am sorry,” she ground out, her lips set in a thin, unhappy line.
Clearing his throat, Allen replied, “I, uh, accept your apology.”
“Good, now if you’ll excuse me, I must go,” and with that, she turned, collected her cart, and trotted away.
Letting go a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, Allen turned to Filthy and said, “Thank you, Mr. Rich.”
“Think nothing of it,” he said as he waved a hoof as if dismissing Allen’s thanks, “I’ve been having trouble with that mare for years. Honestly, it was to the point I was nearly ready to sick my wife on her and let her deal with it.”
“Well, all the same, thanks again.”
“Sure, happy to help, now if you’ll excuse me, there’s some paperwork calling my name, have a pleasant day, Mr. Ross,” replied Filthy as he made to leave, though he paused after a few steps and turning back said, “Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll be sure to have something set up for your friend here when you come back next time.”
Allen simply nodded once more in thanks, and with nothing further to say, Filthy simply turned with a final goodbye and left, leaving Allen to finish his shopping. Which thankfully was far less stressful on both man and stallion.
With no further distractions, Allen quickly finished his list and headed for the checkout lanes. Selecting the one at the far end, as it had the widest aisle, Allen began setting his purchases on the counter for the cashier to check out and the for the bagging colt to bag up.
Unlike a human store, Barnyard Bargains didn’t have a scanner as none of their products had a barcode on them. Instead, they each had individual price labels stuck on them and as the cashier read them, she punched in the price on her mechanical cash register before passing the item to the bagging colt.
“That will be fifty-two bits and sixteen cents please,” said the young mare.
Reaching into his bit bag, Allen pulled out fifty-three bits and handed them to her. Passing back his change to him, she said, “Thank you for shopping at Barnyard Bargains, have a pleasant day.”
“Thanks, you too,” replied Allen in an almost automatic fashion as he moved to gather up the various bags of groceries and put them carefully in Reuben’s panniers. Once the last bag had been stowed, Allen gave Reuben’s lead line a gentle tug as he made his way to the exit. Stepping outside into the bright, early afternoon sun, Allen headed for home, glad that this awkward day was nearly over.
Just as he was about to pass over the stone bridge on the edge of town, Allen spotted Rarity, and her little sister Sweetie Belle on the road in front of him.
“Oh, hello Rarity,” greeted Allen with a friendly wave and tired smile.
“Oh, Allen, how did your shopping trip go?” asked Rarity as she paused in eating her vanilla and chocolate swirl ice cream cone.
“It could have gone better,” replied Allen.
“Oh? What happened?” she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
Allen rolled his eyes in exasperation and said, “Just some mare named Glitter Hoof, she thought Reuben and I were...” he trailed off and looked down at the little, impressionable filly next to Rarity and chose his next words carefully, “causing a ‘disturbance’ and up to no good, as it were.”
Rarity sighed. “Why am I not surprised that she would be causing trouble for you, I’m terribly sorry to hear that Allen.”
Allen shrugged. “It all worked out, Mr. Rich saw the whole thing and called her out on her BS. He even made her apologize to Reuben and I.”
“Wow, you’re tall Mr. Reuben!” cut in Sweetie Belle suddenly as she stared up at Reuben.
“Sweetie Belle, please don’t interrupt, it’s rude,” chided Rarity half-heartedly, as if she knew that the reprimand wouldn’t stick, but did it anyways for appearance's sake.
“Sorry Rarity,” mumbled Sweetie Belle as she went back to eating her mint ice cream cone.
“Allen, you’ve met my little sister, Sweetie Belle, correct?” asked Rarity.
Allen nodded. “Sort of, we met when I gave the presentation at the schoolhouse last month.”
Sweetie Belle brightened up at that and excitedly chimed in, “I really liked that music you played for us, Mr. Ross! Do you think me and my friends could come and listen to some more of it?”
“Friends and I,” corrected Rarity automatically, as if this was a regular occurrence.
“Yeah, that.”
Allen chuckled. “Maybe some other time, I’m pretty busy right now, and a whole schoolhouse worth of foals bouncing around listening to music would be a bit more than I can handle right now.”
“Oh, it wouldn’t be everypony from school. It would only be me and my two friends, Applebloom and Scootaloo,” replied Sweetie Belle, Rarity didn’t even bother trying to correct her little sister's grammar this time.
Allen shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea either.”
“Why?”
Allen sighed, not wanting to go through the whole stranger danger talk with her. Instead, he simply said, “Where I am from, that sort of thing is heavily frowned upon, so I am afraid I will have to say no.”
“But why?” whined Sweetie Belle, “we’ll be good, honest! Besides, Ms. Fluttershy let us stay over with her before, so what’s the difference?”
The fact that you barely know who I am and that I’m a strange adult from another world? Thought Allen sarcastically to himself. However, he didn’t let slip his mounting frustrations and instead said, “Be that as it may, I am not Fluttershy, and my answer is still no.”
“But-” protested Sweetie Belle.
“Sweetie Belle, Allen said no, so stop pestering him about it,” cut in Rarity, finally having enough of her sister's poor manners.
Sighing in defeat, Sweetie Belle dropped her head and said, “Okay, I’m sorry, I just really wanted to listen to those songs again, they were really neat.”
Allen nodded, a soft smile touching the corners of his mouth. “Your apology is accepted,” pausing, he glanced at his watch and said, “I need to get going or all of my perishables will perish from the heat. Thanks for making Reuben that overwear Rarity, and pointing me in the direction of Barnyard Bargains, they had pretty much everything I wanted to get.”
Waving the thanks away with a hoof, Rarity replied, “It was no trouble dear, I am always happy to help,” looking down at her sister, she said, “I suppose we better get going as well. We have a lot to do today if we want to go to the Sister Hooves Social tomorrow at Applejacks.”
“Sister Hooves Social? What’s that?” asked Allen confused.
“Oh, it’s a little get-together that Applejack’s family likes to hold every year. They have games, food, entertainment and prizes. All the sisters in Ponyville and the surrounding towns are invited to attend. I’ve never gone as Sweetie Belle was too young to go with me when I was still in school, and lately, I’ve been too busy until now thanks to my business.”
“Oh interesting,” replied Allen with a nod of understanding, “well, have fun at the social you two.”
“Thanks, we will!” said Sweetie Belle excitedly as Allen made to leave.
Chuckling, Allen waved goodbye to them and headed home.
Well, today was a strange, awkward day, but at least it's over and done with. Glancing over at Reuben, he gave the stallion an affectionate pat on the neck and said, “Come on boy, let’s get you home and unloaded and get some food in the both of us, cause I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.”
Reuben neighed in agreement and Allen just laughed. The two of them picking up the pace to get home a little bit sooner and feed their hungry bellies.