//------------------------------// // Chapter 83- Solid Humour // Story: Reformed Unicorn Group Podcast // by Quoterific //------------------------------// “Under Pinkie Pie’s persistence, we have a very special guest with us today to talk about comedy,” Starlight felt her eye twitch on that. “She is a very good friend of me and Starlight, as well as being Pinkie’s sister,” Trixie snickered, “And when Starlight meant ‘persistence,’ she went and repeatedly begged Starlight to have her on our show.” “It took the fifth-sixth plea for me to finally agree,” Starlight mumbled. Sunset giggled at that image in her head. “So, without further ado, please welcome to our show for her own comedy show with us on the R.U.G., Maud Pie!” Tempest tried to sound enthusiastic, but from hearing about Maud’s sense of humour and form of comedy, this was going to be a long day at the studio. The others clapped as Maud stood with a microphone opposite them. “Hello,” Maud said in her usual monotone voice, “And welcome to my comedy show, hosted with the Reformed Unicorn Group.” She took a slight pause before starting her jokes. “What did the mountain say to the volcano?” Maud asked the group. they simply blinked back with a beaten look. “No offense, but you seem to be full of hot air,” Maud finished. There was dead silence. Pinkie, who was supporting her sister at the back, gave a roll of the drums. However, even that couldn’t save how flat that joke came out. “I remember that time when Discord came to the gala, trying out this knock, knock joke. However, he seemed to be under a lot of pressure when I told him it was the most basic of jokes,” Maud continued. “It would have been better if we were there to see it,” Starlight whispered, “It’s not everyday a pony gets the better of Discord other than Fluttershy.” The others nodded in agreement. “Granite was charged for a crime and was sent to a court. However, the judge said that there wasn’t enough concrete proof for anything,” Maud pressed on. “Good one Maud!” Pinkie giggled and gave another roll of the drums. “They say humour is very subjective, but this is pushing that statement a little too far,” Tempest whispered to Sunset, “And I can’t believe that Maud and Pinkie Pie are related.” “You and me both,” Sunset snickered. “Never trust sandstone to be a good support for buildings, you need to state on a clean slate,” Maud and then turned to Pinkie, “Solid crowd to please these days right?” “Tell me about it,” Pinkie giggled. The R.U.G. tried to give a genuine smile at her attempts. Starlight swore she heard her listeners snoring all around Equestria. “I even received a compliment from Rainbow that I was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an igneous,” Maud retold, “She seemed to be that pony who always wanted to win, but when I told her I wasn’t into winning that much, I think I eroded her that day.” That time Trixie tried to hold back a giggle. “What’s so funny?” Tempest hissed, “That Rainbow made a rock pun, Rainbow being told somepony didn’t like to win or the actual pun?” “That Rainbow was told somepony didn’t like to win,” Trixie snickered, “Imagine the look on her face at that revelation.” “Speaking of igneous rocks, you should never waste your time with them,” Maud told her audience, “You want to know why?” Dead silence. “They will just ignore you. However, sapphires are crystal clear about anything. I like listening to the sound of crystals ringing because of it.” “I think we’re a blank slate when it comes to these jokes, don’t you think?” Trixie slightly mocked at Starlight. “Don’t you start as well,” Starlight whispered back. “Trixie, you weren’t the best baker at the sunset festival when Silverstream went missing, though you had me at petrified with the cake and the whole business with cockatrices,” Maud turned to Trixie. Trixie could only give a hard glare at that, causing Starlight to giggle. “Now that was funny,” Starlight said, “Although, Maud, you over Mudbriar when he was stone was something else.” “He was more than a loveable hunk that night,” Maud, somehow, managed to give a dreamy smile. That caused everypony to get uncomfortable. Pinkie gave a roll on the hi-hat at that remark. “I love my sisters and all, though Marble sometimes loses her marbles when she finds herself in an awkward situation,” Maud talked about her family, “Limestone is more lime than stone at times, but if you weathered her down, you will find a protective sister who looks out for us and the farm.” “Nice one, Maud!” Pinkie hit the double toms. “Thank you, Pinkie, and that was my time. Thank you for listening to my puns today on the R.U.G. and thank you to the hosts for allowing me to come onto the show today.” “It was a pleasure,” Sunset gave a strained smile. Pinkie hopped next the Maud, giving her sister a big hug. “Isn’t my sister the best comedian ever?!” Pinkie asked loudly. “Now that’s the best joke we had today!” Trixie half-mocked, causing Starlight to jab her on the side. “It was a lovely performance, Maud,” Starlight came to the rescue. Pinkie joined the hosts. “Thank you so much! Look how happy she is!” They turned to look at Maud’s blank look. “I think we can call it a day,” Tempest decided to end it there before it became more awkward, “We will see you all again very soon, but for now, have a great day and it’s goodbye from us on the R.U.G!” Sunset was quick to switch off the air button.