Chapter 27 (Of Apples and Myths)
Chapter 27
The sun was just barely over the horizon when there was a firm knock on Allen’s front door. He had already been up for half an hour by this point and was just getting ready to make breakfast. Setting the pancake mix aside, he started for the door.
Opening it, he found a pair of ponies standing in the early morning light. “Morning Cloud Kicker,” he greeted, “when you said first light, you really meant it.”
“I told you,” she giggled, “Applejack wanted to meet at first light, and if she says she’s gonna do something, then she does it, right AJ?” she asked as she turned to the second mare on Allens’ front porch.
She was a well-muscled earth pony, with the kind of form you could only get from hard, physical work, as every time she moved, Allen could see her muscles ripple underneath her orange-colored coat as if teasing at what kind of power they were capable of unleashing if given the chance. Brushing a loose piece of straw blonde mane out of her emerald green eyes, she regarded Allen with a piercing look, as if she were looking into his very soul and judging its worth. It made Allen give an involuntary shiver at its intensity.
Clearing his throat, Allen quickly stuck out his hand in a friendly manner and said, “So you’re Applejack, huh. I’ve heard a lot about you around town. My name is Allen Ross, though you probably already knew that by now,” he finished lamely.
Extending her hoof, she grasped his hand firmly and gave it a strong shake. “Ah do,” she drawled, her southern accent reminding Allen of one of his neighbors that had moved in from the southwestern part of Missouri.
Mrs. Johnson sure made a mean apple pie, he thought as he shook her hoof, the memory randomly flitting through the front of his mind before disappearing into the ether of his subconscious.
Letting go of his hand, she swept her brown stetson off her head and held it with a hoof in front of her, and giving him a serious look, she declared, “Ah just want to set the record straight now. Ah know that you’ve heard from certain ponies that Ah’m madder than a wet hen at ya, but that jus’ ain’t the truth. As far as Ah’m concerned, you and me ain’t got any reason ta be fighting, and mah anger is reserved for the varmint that done this ta the both of us,” she practically spat, her fur bristling at the memory of Discord and what he had done.
“So far as Ah can tell,” she continued, “you and Ah don’t have any reason to start up a fuss right now. Of course, if ya do want ta start something, Ah’ll be more than happy ta oblige ya. Just be warned, whenever Ah start something, Ah finish it.”
She cocked one of her back hooves in emphasis, and flicked her tail behind her in warning, allowing Allen to catch sight of the red ribbon tied around the end of her tail. Grimacing, he quickly put his hands up in a placating gesture, and said, “I have no intention of getting into trouble with you, ma’am. So you don’t need to worry about that, rest assured, and if I cause any offense, I just want to say that it is unintentional in nature.”
Giving a single satisfied nod, she turned to leave, thus allowing Allen to get a glimpse of her cutie mark, a trio of red apples.
Apple cutie mark for an apple farmer, go figure, thought Allen dryly to himself.
Sticking her hat back on her head, she looked back over her withers and said, “Welp, Ah think Ah’ve seen enough, Cloud Kicker, so Ah reckon Ah’ll mosey on home now,” looking to Allen one last time, she gave he a parting nod and said, “y'all take care now, Mr. Ross, and have a nice day,” and with that, she turned around and trotted away.
When she was far enough away, Allen let loose a sigh of relief. Giving him a quizzical look, Cloud Kicker asked, “What was that for?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Allen looked down and replied, “Just glad that things didn’t escalate is all. I was a bit worried about how this meeting was going to go, both with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, but it seems I didn’t need to worry so much.”
Shooting him a cocky grin, Cloud bumped his leg with her flank and remarked smugly, “Well naturally, with a wingmare like me, it had to go smoothly! I’m the princess of smoothness, you know.”
Rolling his eyes, Allen shook his head and replied with a mock bow, “Well I thank you for your help in this matter, ‘Your Highness’.”
Adopting a faux haughty look, she shot back. “It was my pleasure peasant, now begone,” she said, waving a hoof in a daintily dismissive fashion. “Your princess must rest now and thou art bothering me, shoo shoo.”
Allen burst out laughing, and after holding her haughty look for a split second longer, Cloud Kicker joined in. Their merriment being loud enough to draw the attention of Penny, who had just stumbled downstairs, her mane a literal mess and dark bags under her eyes as she looked to see what all the fuss was about.
Noticing her arrival, Allen gave her a beaming smile and said, “Good morning, Penny, I take it you would like some coffee?”
Giving a monosyllabic grunt in reply, she turned and stumbled her way to the kitchen. Giving a shake of his head, Allen looked at Cloud and asked, “Since you’re here, would you like to stay for breakfast? I’m about to make some pancakes, and the coffee should be done soon.”
“If there is one thing I have learned from my time in the guard is that you should never turn down free food, especially if it is still warm, lead the way,” she replied with a shallow bow, one leg extended in a grand sweeping motion.
Laughing, Allen shook his head one last time and retreated back inside, Cloud Kicker hot on his heels as the smell of fresh coffee tickled their noses with its promise of eye-opening caffeine.
Grabbing an extra plate and coffee mug, he set them on the dining room table and set about preparing the morning meal while Penny busied herself with acquiring her morning allotment of caffeine. Cloud Kicker was left waiting her turn at the coffee maker, so she snatched up her mug from the table, and took her spot behind Penny. Knowing better than to try and strike up a conversation with the caffeine-deprived unicorn in front of her, she instead turned her attention to Allen.
“So Allen,” she began casually, “now that you’ve cleared the air between you, AJ and Dash, what’s next on your list of things to do?”
Setting the cast iron griddle on the stovetop and turning it on to heat up, Allen grabbed the nearby mixing bowl of pancake mix and water and began mixing. “Well,” he began, “I figured that my next step would be to get some repairs done to my hay barn so I can get the first cutting out of the way. So I guess I need to figure out what all I need done to it to bring it up to code and then go from there.”
Grabbing the coffee pot with a wing, Cloud expertly balanced her mug on her frog and poured herself a cup of coffee while Allen looked on in amazement. Looking up and seeing his look of astonishment, Cloud asked, “What? You’ve never seen a pegasus use their wing to manipulate stuff before?”
Allen slowly shook his head. “No... can’t say that I have.”
Transferring her cup from her hoof to her wing, she used her primary feathers as fingers and slipping them into the cup's handle, ‘gripping’ the cup with them. Taking a sip, she let loose a content sigh and explained, “A pegasi’s wing is pretty flexible and strong, it has to be in order to carry our weight. However, our feathers are also very flexible and we have a very fine degree of control over them, to the point where the larger ones can effectively mimic fingers in their ability to manipulate stuff. Though unlike fingers, they aren’t as physically strong or durable, and if we break one, then it loses its ability to hold and move things until a new one grows in.”
Having recovered sufficiently from his initial surprise, Allen slowly resumed mixing. “I take it that your magic has something to do with it?”
Cloud took another smug sip from her mug. “Good guess,” she replied. Flaring out her left-wing, she pointed the tip of her hoof at her largest primary feather and said, “As I mentioned before, the magic that allows pegasi and other winged creatures to fly, also gives us a heightened sense of control over each feather. The mana in our bodies travels up the shaft of the feather and is distributed through the vanes of each feather. This helps increase each feather's total lift potential far beyond what they should normally be capable of. In addition, it gives extra strength, flexibility, and sensory feedback to the feathers, thus making it possible, for a pegasus or griffon to use their feathers as manipulative appendages.”
“That’s... pretty wild,” remarked Allen. Looking between Penny and Cloud, he said, “So unicorns can levitate and manipulate stuff with their magic, and you pegasi can use your wings to a certain degree for the same thing, what about earth ponies? Doesn’t really seem fair to them being just stuck with nothing but hooves for fine manipulation.”
Glancing at each other, Cloud and Penny traded a knowing smirk. “Well Allen,” replied a more alert Penny, “remember how I told you that earth ponies are really good with their hooves?”
“Yeah, kinda,” replied Allen as he poured a dollop of batter on the hot griddle, the batter instantly sizzling and spitting as it hit the hot metal.
Taking another sip of her coffee she said, “Well, earth pony magic makes it so that their hooves are more... clingy, I guess is the best way to put it. I’ve seen earth ponies hold and manipulate very tiny things with nothing but their hooves, and mouth. So it’s not like they can’t do the same kind of things that we can, they just do it differently. Though generally speaking, earth pony goods tend to be... sturdier than those made by other tribes.”
Cloud nodded. “Yep, not only that, but I’ve seen plenty of earth ponies grip things with their tails too.”
Flipping the pancakes over, Allen shot Cloud an unconvinced look. “Seriously? They have prehensile tails too?”
Cloud made a ‘kinda sort of’ gesture with her hoof. “Sorta, I’ve only seen a couple do it, one of them being Applejack. She’s really good with using her tail to twirl a lasso around, but most earth ponies don’t really practice using their tails like that. Same as most unicorns only know a few basic spells, and how most pegasi only use their wings to get from point A to point B, rather than do tricks and fancy acrobatics like Rainbow Dash does. I’m sure you humans are the same like that,” she said, gesturing at Allen’s hands with a hoof.
Looking down at his hand, Allen thoughtfully nodded. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true, I mean, I can play guitar, but I’ll probably never be able to play like B.B. King or Jerry Reed could, I just don’t have the time or innate talent to do it.”
Even though Cloud didn’t know who those people were, she understood what Allen was getting at well enough. “That’s right, most ponies don’t have the time or the reason to improve their inherent skills enough to be like Twilight Sparkle for magic, Rainbow Dash for flying, or Applejack for physical feats.”
“That doesn’t mean that they are at an inherent disadvantage though,” cut in Penny,” just that they have to approach problems differently than another pony from a different tribe would.”
Removing the pancakes from the griddle, Allen buttered them up and drizzled syrup on them before placing them on the table between the two mares. Lighting up her horn, Penny quickly divided the small stack between her and Cloud and set about enjoying her morning meal. Pouring the rest of the pancake batter onto the griddle, Allen commented, “Well, in any case, I guess that’s what I’m gonna do today, what about you two?”
Taking a large bite of her pancakes, Cloud quickly chewed and swallowed her mouthful before replying, “I’ve gotta get to work and make sure Rainbow filled out your weather paperwork properly, after that, I’ll bring it by and you can sign it,” seeing Allen’s look of exaggerated pain, she rolled her eyes and said, “don’t be such a foal, you’ll only need to sign a couple of lines and initial half a dozen at most.”
“Well, considering that I’ve been doing nothing but signing paperwork for the past month, a few more lines might just kill me,” he jokingly complained.
Carefully dabbing the syrup from her muzzle with a paper towel that Allen had set out earlier, Penny replied jokingly, “Don’t worry, if that should happen I’ll be sure that they give you a proper funeral.”
“Har har, funny girl,” retorted Allen as he finished cooking his own stack of pancakes, and turning the heat off, quickly transferred them to his plate and slathered them in butter and syrup before sitting down at the table and digging in.
“And what about you, Penny?” asked Allen as he cut into his stack.
“I’ll be in town most of the day I’m afraid,” she replied as she used the last of her pancakes to scoop up the remaining syrup on her plate. “I was able to find a few promising properties last night and I would like to look at them today. If things go well, I should be able to close on one by the middle of next week, and be moved in by next Saturday, if all goes well.”
“That soon? Damn, you move fast,” replied Allen with eyebrows raised in surprise. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you were eager to get away from me, it's the snoring isn't it?” he half-joked, a playful grin on his face.
Turning sharply in surprise and sudden worry, Penny quickly threw her hooves up in front of her and waved them back forth in a distressed fashion. “No, that’s not it! I didn’t mean to make you think that I have a problem with staying here, it’s just that I didn’t want to impose for too long on your hospitality!”
“Easy there, I was only kidding ya,” replied Allen with a calming motion of his hands, “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was upset or anything, I just was just yanking your chain a little bit.”
Composing herself, Penny replied with a huff, “Yes, well... please try to be careful in the future, it’s sometimes hard to tell when you are kidding and when you are not.”
“Duly noted, sorry about that,” apologized Allen.
“Your apology is accepted,” she replied before an awkward silence fell over the group, with Cloud quietly eating her pancakes and Penny just staring silently at her now empty plate.
Allen took another bite of his pancakes and chewed thoughtfully before then swallowing and gently asking in the hopes of killing the awkward silence, “So was there anything else you were going to do today?”
Sighing, Penny shook her head. “Not really no, just look at those properties I mentioned and try and figure out which one will work best for me. After that, I’ll probably take care of some miscellaneous paperwork at the town hall and be back later this afternoon. What about you? You said you were going to do something with your hay barn today?”
Finishing the last of his breakfast, Allen, upon seeing that Cloud had also finished hers, collected everyone's dishes and placed them in the dishwasher along with the other dirty dishes that he’d left in the sink overnight. “Yeah, Checklist sent me a... well a checklist from the DOTI on what I need to do to bring my barns up to code. So I figured that I’d do that today and then see if I can find someone to come out and do a full inspection later. After that, I’m not sure, to be honest, what about you Cloud? When did you figure you’ll be back today with that paperwork?”
Rubbing her chin thoughtfully, Cloud replied, “Probably this afternoon, knowing Rainbow she’s probably done most of it last night, but I’ll need to double-check it for errors. After that, I’ll be busy for a few hours busting clouds, so it’ll probably be around three or four o’clock when I can swing by, does that sound good?”
Allen nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’ll do,” he said as he shut the dishwasher door and hit the button to start it. The machine whirring to life before settling into a steady rhythm. Both Cloud Kicker and Penny gazed at the appliance with curious looks.
Looking at Allen, Cloud asked, “What’s that do?”
“It’s a mechanical dishwasher, Cloud, it washes and dries dishes,” replied Allen, as if it were obvious.
Both Penny and Cloud looked at each other before then turning to Allen and asking together, “You wouldn’t happen to have another one laying around by chance?”
“No, and before you ask, you can’t come over and use my dishwasher to wash your dirty dishes either. I’ve only got a limited amount of powdered dish soap, and I intend to stretch that for as long as I can,” replied Allen, a stern look on his face as he wagged his pointer finger at them like one would a misbehaving dog when he saw them open their mouths again.
Shutting their mouths, both Penny and Cloud looked at each other, as if having a conversation that only they could hear, before then turning around and simultaneously hitting Allen with the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes that they could in the hopes of changing his mind. Allen simply crossed his arms over his chest and cocked an eyebrow unmoved by their display of cuteness. Seeing that their tactics weren’t working, the two mares upped the ante and stuck out their bottom lips, along with an increase in the intensity of their pleading looks. Allen’s eyebrow rose higher in reply. In response, their bottom lips started quivering, and teardrops formed at the corners of their eyes as their ears folded back.
“Ladies, I’ve been ignoring begging dogs and cats of all ages at the dinner table for thirty years, you’re gonna have to up your puppy dog eye game if you want to crack this stone-cold heart,” remarked Allen dryly.
Seeing that he wasn’t gonna budge, both Penny and Cloud dropped their pleading looks and scrunched up their muzzles in annoyance at being denied instead.
Chuckling, Allen shook his head. “Better luck next time,” he replied, an amused smile on his face.
Pouting, both mares sullenly pushed themselves away from the table and trotted out of the dining room. Walking Cloud to the front door, Allen watched as Penny trotted up the stairs to the guestroom to make herself presentable for the day. Cloud meanwhile stood in the doorway and said, “Well it was worth a shot I guess,” she craned her neck around to see past Allen into the kitchen and gave a look of longing at the dishwasher happily cleaning away.
Sighing, she thought to herself, I’ll have to swing by Time Turner’s place, maybe he can come up with something like that. However, outwardly she simply regarded Allen with a small smile and said, “Anyways, thanks for the free food and coffee, like I said, I’ll be back later this afternoon with the paperwork you’ll need to sign for, and if Rainbow has finished it, the monthly weather schedule.”
Nodding, Allen replied, “Alright, sounds like a plan, so I guess I’ll see you then.”
“See ya,” said Cloud Kicker with a wave goodbye, and with that, she turned, spread her wings, and with a running leap took off into the morning sky.
Waving goodbye, Allen watched her go until she was out of sight. Turning around, he shut the door behind him and returned to the kitchen, the sound of the upstairs shower running alerting him to the fact that Penny would be preoccupied for some time. Standing in the empty kitchen, he placed his hands on his hips as he tried to figure out what he wanted to do first. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, he noticed that it was a quarter past seven. Nodding his head, he made his decision, Alright, morning chores first, then we can take a look at that list and get to work on cleaning things up around here. With his priorities set, Allen set to work.
Several hours later found Allen sitting on an overturned bucket in his hayloft as he glared down at the small booklet in front of him. This is ridiculous, just how the hell do they expect me to keep birds and mice out of my barns, at all times?! He glanced up from the book and looked around in frustration at the mess that surrounded him. Old straw and hay littered the floor of the hayloft along with fecal stains from birds, mice, and other small creatures. Even as he watched, a pair of barn swallows swooped low over his head and left behind several stray feathers and fresh poop stains on his floor before flying out through a hole in the wall where a missing board used to be.
Looking around the barn, he could see holes everywhere. Some were in the walls, others in the roof where shingles had rotted away or come loose in one of the many windstorms that would blow through every year. What was worse was that even if there weren’t any holes, there was simply no way to prevent birds and other small creatures from finding ways inside whenever they wished as he would have to leave various doors open for fresh air to circulate for his animals and to allow them to come in and out as they desired.
Sighing, he picked up the booklet and tramped downstairs, his inspection over before it even really began as he realized that his old wooden barn would never be able to meet the strict cleanliness standards of the DOTI.
Walking out into the bright afternoon sunlight, he squinted and held his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun. Looking around, he couldn’t help but feel despondent as he took in the overall disrepair that was his farm.
Overgrown flower beds, grass that hasn’t been cut in weeks, if not months, not to mention all the junk piles littered all over the place. He shook his head in disgust at his dad’s insistence of keeping every little bit of scrap iron that crossed his path. “You never know when we might need it, son,” he said to himself in a mock imitation of his dad's voice. Sighing, he hung his head and realized that this was going to be a lot harder than he thought it would be.
Opening the booklet again, he turned to the page that he had been reading in regards to proper hay storage and read it again.
All storage facilities intended for the storage of hay for pony consumption must be kept to a high standard of cleanliness. This includes the regular removal of old or moldy hay or straw, spider webs, dust, dirt, mud, or any other form of contamination that may cause a pony to become ill. In addition, great care must be taken to prevent the ingress of animals into the storage facility as their presence will result in fecal matter contaminating the stored hay, thus making it unsuitable for consumption.
Shaking his head, he tried to figure out just how he was supposed to do that. “This is impossible,” he muttered to himself as he continued to glare at the offending booklet. So engrossed was he in trying to figure out how to comply with the rules, that he didn’t hear the approaching clip-clop of hooves on gravel until someone called his name.
Tearing his gaze away from the frustrating book, he saw that Lyra was standing next to him, a look of friendly concern on her face.
“Did we come at a bad time?” she asked.
“We?” asked Allen dumbly.
“Yeah, Bon Bon wanted to come and see you again, and since I was planning on coming by to check up on you, I figured it was the perfect excuse for her and me to spend some time together, while also seeing how you were doing!” replied Lyra with a happy smile.
“I see,” replied Allen as he turned to Bon Bon, his hand extended in greeting, “well glad you could come out then. So Bon Bon, how are things going for you then?” greeted Allen with a smile as he extended his hand in greeting.
“Hello,” murmured Bon Bon as she took his hand and gave it a firm shake with her hoof, “and it’s been going alright, lots of things going on over the past couple of days, so I’ve been busy.”
Nodding his head slowly, he let go of her hoof and turning to Lyra asked, “So what brings you both by?”
“Well, it’s been a couple of days since I last talked to you, and I wanted to see how you were doing,” replied Lyra, “plus Bon Bon was curious about you, seeing as we didn’t get a chance to really talk with you at the party before I got dragged away, so I figured that since her shop was closed for the day, we could come by and have a chat, that is if you’re not too busy.”
Allen shook his head. “No, I was just looking this over,” he waved the DOTI booklet in his hand for emphasis, “and seeing what I needed to work on to bring everything up to standard.”
Seeing the booklet, Bon Bon nodded, her mane curls bouncing as she did so. “I know that booklet well,” she remarked, an irritated frown on her face, “I run a candy shop in town, and the spell runes need to be inspected every year, otherwise I run the risk of getting shut down. It can be such a pain in the flank,” she sighed, “that’s the reason why my shop is closed today, the rune inspector is looking them over and it’s easier if there aren’t any customers getting in their way and distracting them while they work.”
“Spell runes?” asked Allen, a puzzled look on his face as he looked down at the booklet again.
Bon Bon nodded, and motioning for the booklet, she flipped to the back section after Allen had given it to her and pointing to a page replied, “Yep, right here is a list of all the runes and spells wards that you’ll need to meet the DOTI’s minimum standards for health and safety. Each page is for a different industry. Seeing as how you live on a farm, I’m assuming that this page is what you were looking for?” she said as she flipped to the section that pertained to agricultural requirements.
Taking the booklet from her, Allen glanced down the list. Animal and insect repellent runes, anti-dirt and mold charms, fire suppression spells... this has everything I need. Though why is it in the back of the book?
Shooting a look of gratitude Bon Bon’s way, Allen gratefully replied, “Thanks for pointing this out to me, I probably would have banged my head against the wall for hours trying to figure out how I was going to meet these seemingly impossible standards. Would have been nice to know that there was a list here telling me what I needed.”
Bon Bon waved a hoof in reply. “You’re welcome. I will admit the first time I opened my sweet shop it took me longer than I would like to admit to check the back of the booklet for this information. You would think that they would put the relevant information in the section it was pertaining to, but apparently, they thought this was a better idea. On the last page, you’ll find a list of approved companies that can do the rune and spell work for you. I recommend Chisel and Son’s, they did the work for my sweet shop and I’ve never had an issue with it. Plus they’re out of Canterlot so they’re close by in case anything goes wrong.”
“What are their prices like? I’ve got a lot of buildings to fix up, and not a lot of bits,” asked Allen as he turned to the final page and found the company Bon Bon told him about, along with its address.
“Pretty expensive, but you get what you pay for, and Rune Chisel is one of the best in the business. His runes and spell work is backed up by a fifty-year warranty, and he charges less for inspections than other ponies do, so I think it all evens out in the end. It cost me about twenty thousand bits to have my shop done, of course, I needed more spellwork and runes than you will. Rune does free appraisals, so you won’t be out anything other than some time if the price is too much for you.”
“Twenty thousand bits? Damn, that’s expensive,” replied Allen with a grimace.
Bon Bon nodded. “Oh trust me, I know, but as I said, he’s one of the best in the business, and his craftsponyship speaks for itself. His fire suppression runes have saved my business at least four times since I’ve opened, plus his cleaning spells keep my workload lighter than what it would normally be. Though that last one was optional, and one of the reasons it cost me so much. Your bill will probably be much lower.”
“Cleaning spells? What, like for dishes or something?”
“Ha! I wish,” replied Bon Bon with a laugh. “No, I’m talking about the ones that keep dirt and dust in check, along with things like crumbs and spilled powders. Basically, if it can be swept up, then the spell will take care of it. Stuff that is stuck on or liquid however requires good old muscle power to remove, the spells won’t touch it,” she sighed, “what I wouldn’t give for something to automatically clean my pots and pans. Washing stuff by hoof is always a pain, and if you leave your hooves soaking in the water too long they get all soft and you run the risk of damaging them if you're not careful. I usually have to wait until the end of the day to do my dishes, that way my hooves can dry out while I sleep and I don't run the risk of cracking them walking around.”
Allen wisely chose not to mention his dishwasher and hoped that Cloud Kicker and Penny would keep their mouths shut on the topic as well. “I see, well maybe one day someone can find a solution to that problem,” he said instead.
Bon Bon sighed wistfully. “One day...”
Deciding to shift the topic to something else, Allen turned his attention back to Lyra. “So, how have things been? I haven’t seen you since the party.”
“Well, after I escaped from Rarity, thanks for that by the way,” she remarked, sending him a mock glare. To which Allen replied with a sheepish smile. “I’ve been busy working on my doctorate. Thanks to you I’ve got so much primary source material to sift through and cross-reference with other sources. It’s all so exciting!” she gushed happily.
Allen smirked. “So after you get done with your doctorate, you going to go work in some dusty university department and teach or something?”
“Oh heavens no,” giggled Lyra, “That would be a waste of my time and talents! As of right now, I am the expert on human mythology and anthropology in all the world! I’ve got so many papers and books to write, I mean I’ve already got various scientific journals lining up to publish my works, and I’ve barely even started! Not to mention all the funding that I’ve been offered!” she excitedly replied.
“So I take it that this means you’re gonna be hanging around here a lot more and asking me questions?” asked Allen hesitantly.
Lyra nodded happily. “Naturally, I mean, you are the only human in Equestria right now, and also the only one with a literal treasure trove of human information in your home,” seeing Allen’s uncomfortable look, Lyra quickly calmed herself and after clearing her throat continued, “of course, I’ll be sure to compensate you for your time, along with any materials that I use for my research, as well as respecting your privacy and time. I mean, you have a life too, and it would be extremely rude of me to take up all of your time with questions.”
“Right,” said Allen, an unconvinced look on his face.
Seeing his doubtfulness, Lyra softened her expression and said, “Allen, I promise, I would never purposely make you uncomfortable or inconvenience you. While I am excited by all the information that you have stored in your head and in your home, I don’t want you to think that that is all I care about. I’d like to think that you and I are friends and that I’m not hanging around you just for the fact that you are a human that can help advance my career. If you don’t want to talk to me about your world, then I will understand and respect your wishes, but I’m really hoping that you’ll be willing to share your experiences with me and help me to understand your culture and history better.”
“Well, I appreciate that, I really do,” replied Allen sincerely, glad in the fact that he wasn’t going to deal with nosey ponies taking up his time and getting underfoot all the time.
“I figured you would, though I’m really hoping that you could answer some questions that I have regarding your world today. Your answers might help me figure out a few mysteries that have been bothering me for a long time, and might even help you get back to your world.”
“Help me get home? How?” asked Allen confused as to how answering some questions about his world could help him return home.
Lyra turned around and lighting up her horn, extracted several scrolls from her saddlebags. Turning back to Allen, she unrolled them and floated them close so that Allen could see them. Squinting, he saw that they appeared to be copies of what looked like several badly faded and water-damaged series of images of stylized humans and ponies doing various things, from dancing together to fighting monsters. Looking from the scroll back to Lyra he asked, “What are these?”
“These,” declared Lyra, “are copies of a group of scrolls that were recently recovered from an ancient temple deep in the southern jungles that date back to well before the fall of Princess Luna. I’ve only been able to look at a few of them so far, but thanks to your arrival, and my involvement with you, I have been granted access to them and allowed to make copies for research purposes. Tell me, does anything in these scrolls look familiar to you? The art style or maybe the clothes and armor that the humans are wearing?” she asked, a hopeful look on her face as Allen went back to studying the pictures.
Scrunching up his face, he stared at the images for several quiet minutes before motioning for the pair to follow him. Rolling the scrolls back up, both Lyra and Bon Bon quickly fell in behind Allen as he strode purposefully across the yard and up to his front door. Opening it up, he ushered the mares inside and pointing to the kitchen said, “Go ahead and take a seat in the kitchen, I’ll be back in a second.”
Thanking him, the two mares quickly grabbed a pair of seats at the dining room table and waited for Allen to return. Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait long, as, after a few minutes of hearing thumping and bumping from upstairs as Allen searched for whatever he was looking for, he returned with a pair of books in hand. Setting them down on the dining room table, he pulled out a chair for himself and sat down. Grabbing one of the books, he opened it and flipped through its pages until he found what he was looking for. Turning it around, he slid it across the table and said, “I thought that art style looked familiar, it reminded me of Roman and Greek artwork from the classical era back on earth, especially around the time of Christ.”
Grabbing the book in her magic, Lyra pulled it closer and compared the images on the page with those on her copied scrolls. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, and her mouth slowly dropped open in amazement. Gingerly, she turned the page with a hoof and looked at the next page, more artwork greeted her, and stylistically it looked exactly like the artwork in her scrolls!
Tearing her eyes away from the book, she looked at Allen and asked, “Allen, do you know what this means?”
Allen shrugged his shoulders. “Not a clue,” he replied.
“It means that quite possibly at one point our worlds were linked together, just as I suspected!” exclaimed Lyra excitedly.
Furrowing his brow, and shooting Lyra a doubtful look, Allen replied, “I think you might be grasping at straws here Lyra. I mean sure, the artwork styles look the same, and in my world, we have myths about unicorns, pegasi, dragons, and whatnot, and you guys have myths about us or at least something like us. But what makes you think that our worlds could have ever been linked together at one point? I mean surely, there should be more evidence and records in both our worlds hinting at that fact. Could this just be a coincidence? People come up with strange things all the time, it’s possible that at some point in the past some pony came up with the idea of humans and made a bunch of stories about it that spread and became popular. The same thing has happened in my world where people came up with fantastical stories to entertain others or as a way to try and explain things that they didn’t understand.”
Lyra rolled her eyes. “Allen,” she patiently explained, “time is a cruel thing. Facts and truths become myths and legends as time marches forward. Concrete evidence, over time, can be manipulated, destroyed, or outright lost to the ravages of the ages. I mean, look at these scrolls! They had some of the best preservation magic available placed on them over a thousand years ago, and now look at them. They’re so brittle that I had to use a special spell to copy the images on them to new paper so that I could bring them here to show you, and look at how damaged the images are! There are some scrolls that are so delicate that they can’t even be unrolled for fear of them disintegrating. Imagine all of the other evidence out there that didn’t have those same protections. You said your world doesn’t have any perceptible magic in it right?”
Allen gave a nod, though his expression remained unconvinced.
“Alright, so that means your people couldn’t use magic to preserve important records like we can. That means your history would be much easier to lose to things like natural disasters and war. How much history have your people lost just due to negligence or outright maliciousness?”
Allen rubbed his chin thoughtfully and nodded, now seeing where Lyra was going with her argument. It was true, precious history was constantly being lost every day due to various factors all around the world, and that was with the amazing advances in preservation technology that had been created over the last hundred years. War, natural disasters, human carelessness, malicious censoring of information by petty tyrants, among many other factors had all contributed to a lot of history being either corrupted or outright lost to the sands of time. But even so, he just couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that at some point in history, his and Lyra’s worlds might have been connected in some way. Surely if that was the case, something would have survived? Some scrap of evidence beyond folklore, some buildings, or paintings, maybe a skeleton or two?
Sighing, he pulled one of the scrolls across to him and looked at it. It depicted a scene of ponies fighting a great horde of monsters with a giant blue goat at the back controlling the monsters with a collar made of bells that glowed yellow and black. Looking to the next scene, he could see humans marching forward, dressed in Roman-style armor, to help the ponies fight against the encroaching horde in the foreground.
However, most of the left side of the image was missing or badly damaged, so Allen couldn’t make out much more than the first few rows of humans. From what little he could see, it looked like there was more to the image, but alas time had taken its toll and the rest of the image would forever be a mystery.
Putting the scroll down, Allen shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, it’s an interesting idea, Lyra, and I suppose it might be possible that there could have been interactions between our worlds. Whether those interactions were physical or not, I don’t know, I’m just a simple farmer from Indiana, but I’m pretty sure somebody would have said something if they had found evidence that our world had been in contact with another one sometime in the past.”
Lyra snorted in annoyance at Allen’s stubborn blindness. “Allen,” she began patiently, having taken a deep breath to better center herself, “you yourself said that there are myths and legends about unicorns, pegasi, and dragons in your world, just as there are myths and legends of humans in ours. Doesn’t that strike you as odd that both of our worlds have mythologies of each other's species, and that these scrolls contain images that closely resemble people from civilizations in your world?”
Again Allen shrugged. “I’m not saying it’s impossible, Lyra, just that I’m not fully convinced, you’re gonna need more than just a few images from some ancient scrolls and shared myths and legends that may or may not just be down to cosmic coincidence. I mean, stranger things have happened, and no one said that real life had to make sense.”
Letting out a groan, Lyra shot back. “Alright, so what about Discord?”
“What about him?”
“How was he able to bring you and your farm here so easily unless he knew about your world and had a way to tear open the fabric of reality between our two worlds long enough to bring you here!” she finished with a stamp of her hoof on the table in emphasis.
Allen rolled his eyes. “From what I’ve heard he’s a powerful god of chaos who can literally turn reality into a fucking pretzel with a snap of his fingers. I’d say that he used his freaky chaos magic to randomly bring me here, and that was the end of it.”
“Yeah well-” began Lyra hotly, but a beige hoof on her withers cut her off, and turning to look at her marefriend, she shut her mouth and felt her ears droop when she saw the look Bon Bon was giving her. It was the look of ‘I know you are upset, but you need to stop before you say something dumb’.
Plopping back into her seat, she mumbled an apology. “I’m sorry Allen, I got carried away there for a second. It’s just that... ever since I was a little filly, Equestrian mythology has fascinated me, and humans, in particular, I can't explain why, it just has. When I was young, I felt that humans could be real and that they had actually been here in Equestria at one point in the distant past. Of course, other ponies my age thought I was crazy for believing that humans existed, and made fun of me for it. But I never gave up and I kept looking for hard evidence that would eventually prove me right, and now, here is the evidence pointing to the fact that my theories could actually be correct. You are proof that humans aren’t just a myth, and with these scrolls that have just been found, it points to the real possibility that humans and ponies were in contact with one another in the past. I... I just want to feel like I was right, and that all those ponies who doubted and belittled me for my beliefs could finally be proven wrong and that I would be vindicated in the end,” she said, her voice quiet at the end as she stared down at the open scroll before her.
Allen simply sat in his chair, chewing quietly on his bottom lip as he thought about what to say in response. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, “Lyra, I’m sorry if I made you feel upset by dredging up unpleasant memories due to my skepticism. I’m still coming to terms with the idea that my species is considered a myth by a lot of people here, while everything that I always thought of as fiction is in fact real in this world. This is a lot to take in for me, and I just don’t know what to believe anymore. My whole world has been turned upside down and I can’t tell which way is up anymore,” he shook his head and ran a hand frustratedly through his hair. “Look, I’m not saying that your theory is wrong or anything, I’m just saying that we’re gonna need more evidence before we can make a declaration one way or the other on this matter.”
He gave an exaggerated shrug and said, “I mean if your theory is true, then there’s a chance that other worlds exist out there and that it might be possible to visit them, and if that’s the case, who is to say that I’ll be able to even return to my own world? If there really is a multiverse out there, it might be impossible to find my original world to send me back to, I don’t know, and that kind of scares me,” taking a deep breath, he shook his head again and slid the pair of books across the table to Lyra. “Here, you can borrow these for a bit, we’ll iron out the details regarding payment later. In the meantime, I think I need to be alone for a bit to process all of this,” he said as he waved an arm at the mess of scrolls on the table.
Giving a shallow nod of understanding, Lyra quickly gathered the scrolls and books up in her magical aura and deposited them in her bags. Settling her saddlebags on her back, she turned and gently laid a hoof on Allen’s leg and said, “Thank you, Allen, these books will be a big help to me in my search for answers. There are still a lot of unopened scrolls back in Canterlot and it’ll take a while for us to go through them all. If I find anything interesting, I’ll be sure to let you know, alright?”
Allen silently nodded before then getting up and escorting his guests to the front door. Giving them a final, somber wave goodbye, he watched the pair of them trot away until they reached the end of his driveway. Closing the door, he returned to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was a little after eleven in the morning. Frowning, he looked at his fridge and licked his lips, the thought of grabbing a drink of beer to calm his nerves crossing his mind.
Looking back at the clock, he finally gave a shake of his head and as he opened the fridge, he said, “Fuck it, it’s five o’clock somewhere.”
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I feel like he could patent half the things on his farm and be rolling in bits
i was half expecting the dishwasher to buzz when it finished while bonbon and lyra was there
Allen needs money. His entire farm is full of stuff that will make him so Rich, Filthy Rich would have to legally change his name to Dirt Poor when his fortune is compared to Allen's. Find somepony who can help Reverse Engineer the Technology on the farm, hell, the Dishwasher alone, Get an Alchemist to help Replicate The Dish Powder and instant fortune. Bakers, Restaurants and more would all be scrambling to get one. Not counting about any of the farming equipment he has, just the motors alone and finding a way to make the gas would make a fortune
There are no thaumatic dishwashing appliances in Equestria? That's odd to think, as an array of exothermal runes and hydrokinetic seals to warm and direct the water around to clean the dishware and dry it with air streams does not sound too farfetched. Maybe they just haven't invented it yet. In the same vein, why not impermeable sleeves to prevent wet hooves like we have rubber gloves? Not enough rubber or latex resources in this world?
I'm enjoying that Allen has a limited perspective and intellect without being a total doofus. It allows other characters to bring so much to the table during interactions and keeps them relevant.
I love that you caught this detail, at a rodeo red ribbons indicate that a horse has a tendency to buck, and should be approached cautiously.
10732616
A red ribbon also can signify that the horse has a tendency to kick as well, but in both cases, if a horse has a red ribbon tied around its tail, one should be very cautious when approaching them. My mother loved horses and when I was growing up, we had a bunch of them. You quickly learned which horse tended to be a kicker.
I always felt that Applejack had more of a Tennesseean accent, honestly. My grandma spent the first few decades of her life in Tennessee, and she carried that exact same accent with her the rest of her life.
Eh, it's more a personal opinion than anything else, not a mark against the chapter or anything.
Glad to see more from this. Honestly, surprised Allen doesn't try to arrange some unicorns to do some sort of scanning his tech in return for part of the profits for the blueprints from the tech.
10732711
According to the MLP wiki, "Applejack speaks with a Southern American accent, a thick southern drawl, similar to the accent of the southwestern Missouri and Oklahoma Ozarks, where there is a great number of apple orchards. In numerous episodes, she refers to members of her friends and family as "sugarcube" as a sign of affection." That's what I mainly went off of when I wrote that part about AJ's dialect and accent.
Though according to Ashleigh Ball, she took inspiration for AJ's voice and dialect from several country music singers, such as Miley Cyrus, Dolly Parton, and Reba McEntire. Both Dolly and Miley are from Tennessee, while Reba is from Oklahoma. So I guess in a way you're right, AJ does have a bit of Tennessee in her, but she's also got a bit of Oklahoma, and AJ's accent (for me anyway) tends to remind me more of Reba McEntire than Miley or Dolly. In the end, it's a minor detail.
I wonder what piece of tech Allen will share first? Then again he has to realize that he could share the technology. I bet many ponies would love to have dishwashers.
Hmmm, while those scrolls do prove something for human/pony interactions, it doesn't prove it's to Allen's world (though if they find the Apple/Pear tree in that part of the country ...
)
Honestly, this was better than a few of the previous chapters. A lot of them seem to be a bit of a... world-building info dump, and it can get tedious. This one was a little more to-the-point.
Always love seeing these new chapters. Cannot wait for the next one.
10732655
If memory serves, that's actually WHY they used that specific hairtye on Applejack
10732428
Ours plays a little tune when it's done. I suspect ponies would demand such a "feature", after they figure out how to make a pony-centric washing machine that runs on magic or some such.
Shouldn't need anything too extravagant, just replace the electricity running the pump and motors that turn the arms inside mainly. The concentrated soap they use could be distilled from the mild soap they use right now too (the trick is to create a non-foaming solution). Either way, Allen should get a whack upside the head if he lets one of those human inventions get away from him.
A washing machine/dryer might be too esoteric for ponies however, they just don't wear enough clothing to justify a premium piece of hardware like that.
10733659
I could see the upper crust and various companies that require their employees to wear uniforms take an interest in washing and drying machines. But for the general population? Probably not.
10732428
The dishwasher finished before Lyra and Bon Bon showed up as Allen had been outside for a few hours by that point.
10732988
I'm afraid that is a bad habit of mine. I simply adore world building, and I tend to go into greater detail than most people in regards to the subject.
10732764
And that there is the rub. Allen is a simple man, and right now he's feeling overwhelmed by everything so he's falling back on what he knows and is comfortable with, which is farming.
10733659 There are all sorts of surfactants the ponies should have synthesized at some point by now. Most are chemically rather simple, like sodium dodecyl sulfate and amine oxides. Then there are the non-ionic surfactants like polyethylene glycol monocetyl ether.
Or you can just toss the dishes into a stream and let the fish and snails clean the dishes for you! You only get parasites a little bit!
Yeeeeah, I REALLY don't trust Applejack now. It looks to me like she's deliberately threatening him and is looking for a reason to start a fight with him.
You know, why doesn't Allen go to Twilight to get his dishpowder duplicated so he can keep using it.
I foresee much tech sharing in the future, and all the iron might be useful for someone out there.
I also wonder if Allen will end up having some sort of unique magic once he fully develops his system.
Money maker time.
bro really said:
With the level of bureaucratic meddling and health guidelines shown in this chapter, how exactly is Equestria’s budget balanced again? Blueblood shouldn’t need to worry about a 30% decrease in the treasury when it would be practically the norm for it to be hemorrhaging money in order to feed the ‘always expanding’ bureaucracy. Also, these health standards are wild for a nearly preindustrial society. Really feel like Allen’s getting screwed here.