//------------------------------//
// Christmas Special: Markus's Ponyville Shenanigans 
// Story: Equestria: The Afterlife 
// by Timzocker201 
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Merry Christmas to all of you! Here is my gift to you: a collection of short stories around Markus and his interactions with Ponyville and its residents. Enjoy! :3

Party Aftermath - Markus

It was the morning after my welcome-party. I woke up, got out of bed, slipped into my boots, turned around and almost froze in place. I looked over to Twilight's bed. It was empty. 

I looked back to mine: A certain purple Alicorn slept neatly curled into my bedsheets. Before you all accuse me of fornication or something, let me tell you that she wasn't there when I went to sleep last night! And yes, I know for certain, since I brought her to bed myself after she got herself drunk. I meanwhile was the only one at the Party who didn't even touch alcohol. I don't like that stuff, never had any and I don't plan on ever changing that.

Anyways, back to the topic: She must have climbed out of bed during the night and then crawled into mine. I could make speculations about why she did this, but I'll leave this to those, who want something along that line to happen. I for my part think that, while Luna almost coupled me with Twilight for a night just to see my reaction, Celestia wouldn't be very amused to hear that her most faithful student and I spent a night in the same bed, after we've just met eachother.

I carefully picked her from my bed and concentrated hard on not waking her up. Though... did I mention that military boots aren't really what one would call >>silent<<?

She ruffled herself in my arms and slowly opened her eyes. "Good morning Markus..." she said, her sleepiness clearly audible in her voice. "I tried to do some research on your anatomy, but fell asleep in the process..."

I've got to say: if it wasn't for the fact that what she said was pretty alarming... the way she said it with all the sleepiness in her voice actually made her sound absolutely adorable.

"... may I continue my research?" she reached a hoof toward my belly and, as she reached it, worked her way upward, feeling different parts of my abdomen and my ribcache. I meanwhile was getting very uncomfortable. Not only was it that I was being touched by a female in a - admittedly - pretty seductive way... but did I mention that I'm also pretty ticklish?

I paced towards Twilight's bed, while trying to hold my laughter as good as possible. I could have dropped her right then and there, but I knew that the shock from the impact and thus her full awakening would only make things more awkward...

I finally reached her bed and set her down. She was still in her half asleep state as I put her into her covers. However, as I pulled away from her, she actually tried to crawl after me.

"No... not done yet.. need to do reseawuwuwuwu..." The last few syllables were muffled as she mangled herself in her bedsheet. I lifted her into the right position once again and started to stroke her mane.

"It's ok Twilight, sleep now." I said in an almost hushed, calm voice.

"But the research is waiting for me..." Twilight answered as her eyes slowly began to close again.

"Yes, but won't it be mad if you aren't fully awake when you do it? It's better you sleep first." I calmly told her and smiled.

"Ok..." with that, she fell asleep. I slowly lifted myself from her bed and stood beside it. I smiled at myself as I watched her ruffle in her sleep, mumbling something. She was just so adorable.

I turned around and walked towards the stairs, then stopped and spoke to no one in particular:
"Luna, is that your doing again? This is getting old pretty quickly, you know?"
Nothing happened. No fading, no void, no speck, no Luna. I pinched myself in the arm and found that I was indeed awake.
That was when it dawned on me: Twilight was working her way UPwards... and she stated that she was already >>conducting research<< earlier that night. Did that mean, that I had a pony fondle my balls while I was asleep? 
I promptly decided that I would NOT pursue this thought any further and turned back to get my stuff, which was on the other side of my bed. I rounded the bed and nearly got a heart attack. There, beside my bed were the rest of the main 6, curled into a ball and sleeping. At this point, I was actually closer to panicking than during my whole military career...





School Projects - Markus

Somedays, after we had our cultural exchange-sessions, Twilight and I strolled through the streets of Ponyville to get some fresh air after all those hours of sharing knowledge. It was on one of those strolls that we suddenly found ourselves surrounded by three certain fillies.

"Yo, crusaders, what's up?"

The crusaders lined up in front of me and started speaking one after another.

"Well, ya see, miss Cheerilee wants us to present a special thang to the class and explain what's special 'bout it." Applebloom started

"And you are the most special thing we know, so we instantly thought about you!" Scootaloo continued

"So, would you please come to school with us?" Sweetie Belle continued, before they all sounded in unison. "Pleeeeease?"

Twilight and I looked at eachother and then looked back at the fillies. Keep in mind: I was standing there in full mount, with Helmet, Gun, 'nade and vest.

Twilight approached the fillies. "Wait a moment crusaders. Do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, you can't just pull him th--"

"Sure, why not?" I said, earning me a surprised look by Twilight and a tinnitus from three happy fillie's screams. Thus, we went to the shool building. Inside, the crusaders told me to wait in the hallway, while they entered the classroom together with Twilight. 

I listened while the others presented their objects. There were a few who presented their heirlooms, one actually presented a piece of coltan, a rare earth, which contains the metals tantalum and niobium (formerly called Columbium, COLumbium + TANtalum => Coltan). She actually got most of what she said about it right. The only things that bothered me were that she didn't mention the composition of the rock. Well, and that she didn't name it correctly. She called it a green gem, which was far from the truth. Though now that I think about it: no one, not even Twilight corrected her. Maybe their knowledge about natural resources and chemical elements is even less developed than i'd thought? Either that or they simply didn't need tantalum up until now, which would be the more likely reason.

Anyways, soon the Crusaders were up and they called for me. I entered the room and immediately caused a loud collective gasp from the class.

I stood before them with a smile and looked at the crusaders, who were sitting there and looking at me. We stared at eachother for a while, before I spoke up:
"What? do you want me to hold your presentation? Ohohohoho, no. That's your presentation, fillies. I'm just here as your object of choice."

The three fillies looked at eachother for a moment. "Yeah, but , ah mean, we thought you could tell us all a bit about yourself so we can build some mutual understanding or somethang like that..." Applebloom then finally said.

"This is not how this works fillies. You have to do your projects on your own. Tell you what: you say everything you know about me and for everything you got right, i will give you one bit, for everything wrong you lose one. I know Twilight has been secretly telling you about me during your little meetings in the library." Side-note: I shouldn't have made that bet. Twilight actually told them more than I'd anticipated. In fact, the only thing they got wrong was that they described my rifle as a blunt melee weapon.

The fillies looked at eachother for a moment before they began rattling down everything they knew about me. I must say, even though it cost me all my pocket money for the day, it was fun seeing those three display all their knowledge about something no one else (apart from me and Twilight) knew about. That is, until they ended their presentation, Diamond Tiara apparently caught interest in my stuff and started being annoying. 
Here is a short transcription of the ensuing conversation:

Tiara: *points at the holster to my side* "Hey, what's in that bag?"

Me: "Oh that's my pistol." *pulls pistol from holster and holds it up* "It's a secondary weapon, in case i can't use my rifle for whatever reason."

Tiara: "Can I have it?"

Me: "No."

Tiara: "Can I hold it?"

Me: "No."

Tiara: "Would you sell it?"

Me: "No."

Tiara: "Really? You know, my father --"

Me: "Can't afford it. Next question."

Tiara: *jaw hits desk*

Random colt: "What's this ball-thingy on your vest?"

Scootaloo: "It's called a hand grenade. It--"

Tiara: "Oooh, can we play with it?"

Me: "Do you want to explode?"

Tiara: "Pff, as if that would happen."

Me: *looks at Scootaloo*

Scootaloo: *looks at me, then at Tiara* "Believe me, it would. We got a first-hoof demonstration..."

Tiara: *Opens mouth again*

Me: "Listen up, kiddo: I am a soldier. This means, that everything I've got here is meant for one of two things: A: protect me. B: Kill somepony else. None of those objects is in any way meant to be handled by foals like you, so keep your hooves off them."

With that, she finally shut her mouth for good. Scootaloo looked at me.

"Hey, can you tell us some stories? I'm sure you can tell us some pretty awesome things about your time in your world."

"I'm sorry, but no. Most of my life has been pretty boring and the stories that would be interesting are war stories. I don't think I should tell you about how we fought our wars over there. It's really not something that little fillies like you should hear about..."

A collective "awwww" sounded through the classroom, before Scootaloo spoke up at me again.

"Aw, really? It's always the same with you grown ups! >>I'm sorry, but you are too young. I'm sorry, but you have to grow up first.<<! Why is it that you have to be adult for all the awesome stuff?!"

I looked at her, then at the class, then at her again. "Hey, being a foal doesn't mean not being awesome. You can be awesome, even if you're not grown up just yet." I looked around again. "Tell you what: I think I actually HAVE a story for you."

Suddenly the whole class, including Cheerilee and Twilight, formed up before me, their ears perked and their eyes wide-open. 

"Oh lord... ok: Once I was stationed in a small village in a more ore less calm region. Since we rarely had trouble there, we went out to play with the children whenever we didn't have something else to do. Then, one day I was on patrol, when suddenly I was pulled into an alleyway and found myself at gunpoint by one of our enemies. I already saw myself digging trenches in forced labour, when suddenly a ball hit that b----- eh that guy straight to his face. I quickly jumped up and knocked him out. When I looked around, I saw one of the boys - the human equivalent of colts -, we were always playing with, standing behind me and smiling. That boy might just have saved my life that day. So you see: even the very youngest can do great deeds."

A loud "Ooooooh" sounded through the class before me and I smiled at them in satisfaction. Of course, in reality the situation was a bit more complex, but telling them that the boy was immediately gunned down by another terrorist would have defeated my point, wouldn't it?





Beginner's Guide to Dungeoncrawling - Markus

I asked Rarity if she could make me some civillian clothes for my every-day use and she agreed. Luckily for me, when it came to the payment, she actually stayed true to her element and simply asked that I would help her once she needed me.

That situation came, when Spike once caught a cold and Rarity needed to get some gems from the gem cave. Me, being the only one other than Spike that can hold a basket in his claws / hands plus being stronger and bigger than Spike made me ideal for the job.

Thus, we went to the caves. For safety reasons, I wore both my helmet and my vest, while Rarity only wore her helmet with flashlight. We went deep into the cave until Rarity started digging away at the sides. She found quite a load of gems hidden in the walls and levitated them over to my basket. This repeated for a good while, until she began digging away at a certain point in the ground. I could barely get a glimpse at what she was doing, when the ground gave in and we went with it.

I stood back up again and dusted myself off, then turned to look after Rarity, who luckily was unhurt. "Rarity, please don't just dig at the ground like that. You might get yourself killed by doing this." I looked around. We fell about one cave deep, which would be three meters in this case. Sadly the rubble didn't stack high enough for us to climb back up again.

Rarity meanwhile got back to her feet, too and apologized to me.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Darling. Just... how did this happen? I'm sure I was digging into rock and not into sand..."

"It's called mica. While one could call it a rock, it's actually just a loose assembly of a few thin layers of minerals. One of it's most apparent attributes is that it's very brittle."

Rarity looked up at the hole in the ceiling and tried to climb up the wall, but I pulled her back down.

"Excuse me?! what are you doing?" she exclaimed, but I just answered:

"Dear Rarity, if simple digging made this happen, what do you think will happen if you try to climb back up again?"

She looked back at the ceiling, then at me again. "Well, what do you suppose we should do? We can't just walk blindly through the caves! we will just get lost!"

I smiled at her. "Oh, we won't. Now watch closely:" I closed my eyes in order to sharpen my senses. I felt the stream of fresh air and looked in the direction it came from. "That way." I said and we started moving. Not for long however, as I saw small pieces of rock fall from the ceiling and I was barely able to stop Rarity, before another cave-in happened right in front of us.

"You know: Sometimes the world likes to fuck me so hard, I wonder how I'm still a virgin."

An thus, we had to go the other way. Needless to say: by that time, I was pretty mad.

We walked for a good while, before we heard voices in the distance. We picked up our pace and started running towards the source of the sound. We found ourselves in what looked like a mineshaft and before us there was a dog-like entity scratching away at the walls - a diamond dog. He turned around at us and spoke.

"Ah, you not supposed to be here. You trespassers, now prisoners hehehe."

"Nope, we are not."

"Oh yes, you are. *slurps nose* Me bring you to king and get reward, hehehehehe"

"Oh no, you won't."

"Oh yes, I--"

"Listen up, fuckward: Your king can go fuck himself if you ask me. I just want to get out of this terrestial intestine and you are going to show us the way. Understood?!"

"My, Darling, such profanities!"

"Yes, such profanities indeed. The only thing more profane than my mouth is my fist and this shit-eater is about to end up on the other side of it."

The dog whimped and quickly agreed to show us the way to the exit. I breathed in the nice, fresh air and indulged in the nice warmth of the sun's rays. Needless to say, I won't be heading into a cave again all too soon.





Musical Markus - Twilight

On mutliple occasions during the time we spent together, I came to notice Markus's affinity for music. The first time was when I wanted to go buy a new bookshelf for the library. We went into the store and started looking around, when I heard Markus exclaim:

"Oh, a Piano!"

I paid it no heed, until I heard a truly wonderful melody coming from his direction. I looked around and there he was, tapping away at the keys, producing a simple, yet elegant and charming tune. At that moment I decided, that I should prepare him some musical opportunities, in order to study his world's musical culture. I went closer to him and as he was done asked him , where he learned to play.

"Oh, you know, during my childhood I actually learned to play a whole bunch of instruments. From Fanfare to the Lyra, I've actually played almost everything. You could say, I'm a Jack of all Trades, although my specialty is the Piano."

I looked around in the store and saw a Guitar hangin on the wall. I asked him if he would like to have a Guitar and play me a song on it. He smiled upon this and said that he'd like to. So, I bought him that Guitar and looked forward to the next opprtunity to hear him play.

This opportunity arose, when Rainbow, the Crusaders, Rarity, Markus and I went on a camping trip together. We sat around the campfire and told stories to eachother, when Markus pulled his guitar from his tent and started playing a melancholic tune. It sounded soothing and truly fitting for sitting around a campfire. I asked him if the song had Lyrics.

"Well yes, it does, but they're in my country's language. Also they're not exactly what one would sing around a campfire." Markus said.

"Oh, don't worry about that. We don't need a campfire song, we just want to hear you sing." I said and the others quickly agreed. Markus sighed and agreed too, so I cast a translation spell and he began:

"Einsam im Walde blüht wohl ein Blümlein rot, 				(Alone out in the forest there blooms a little red flower)
Bald, allzubald bin ich tot, 								(Soon, all too soon I'll be dead)
Bald, allzubalde 											(Soon, all too soon)

Fleugt wo ein Stückchen Blei, nimmt mir mein Sorgen 		(Somewhere there flies a piece of lead, takes all my sorrows)
Mir ist halt einerlei: heut' oder morgen 					(I don't care if today or tomorrow)

Weit, wo das Tal hinab graben drei Spaten, 					(Far down the valley, three spades are digging)
Graben ein Kühles Grab für ein Soldaten 					(digging a cool grave for a soldier)

Drüben im Dämmerschein, allwo im Städtchen 				(Off beneath the twilight, somewhere in a town)
Weint wo im Kämmerlein irgendein Mädchen 				(a girl cries in a room)

Blüht wohl ein Blümlein rot einsam im Walde, 				(a little red flower blooms out in the forest)
Balde, gar bald bin ich tot, 								(soon, all too soon I'm dead)
Bald, allzubalde" 										(soon, all too soon)

I felt my eyes water from this song and saw that the others did too. I didn't anticipate a song this calming to be about something this sad. Markus however saw that we were close to crying and quickly opened up with another, very cheerful melody:

"Blumen im Garten, so zwanzig Arten                                                 	(flowers in the garden; around twenty kinds...)
Von Rosen, Tulpen und Narzissen                                                        	(of Roses, Tulips and daffodils)
Leisten sich heute die kleinsten Leute                                               	(the smallest people buy these days)
Das will ich alles gar nicht wissen                                                      	(I don't want to know about any of this)

Mein kleiner grüner Kaktus                                                                   	(My little, green cactus)
Steht draußen am Balkon                                                                       	(stands outside on the balcony)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro
Was brauch' ich rote Rosen?                                                                  	(Why should I need red roses?)
Was brauch' ich roten Mohn?                                                                	(Why should I need red poppy?)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro

Und wenn ein Bösewicht									     	(and when a villain)
Was Ungezogenes spricht 										(says something naughty)
Dann hol' ich meinen Kaktus 									(Then I'll get my catus)
Und der sticht, sticht, sticht 									(and it stings, stings, stings)
Mein kleiner grüner Kaktus 									(My little green cactus)
Steht draußen am Balkon 										(stands outside on the balcony)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro

...

Heute um viere 												(today at four [o' clock])
Klopft's an die Türe 											(it knocks at the door)
Nanu, Besuch so früh am Tage? 								(Huh, visitation this early in the day?)
Es war Herr Krause 											(It was mr. Krause)
Vom Nachbarhause 											(from the neighbor's house)
Er sagt: „Verzeihen Sie, wenn ich frage: 							(He said "Excuse me when I ask:)
Sie haben doch einen Kaktus									(Do you have a cactus)
Auf ihrem kleinen Balkon? 									(out there on the balcony?)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro 
Der fiel soeben runter 										(it fell down just now)
Was halten Sie davon? 										(What do you think of that?)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro
Er fiel mir aufs Gesicht 										(It fell into my face)
Ob S's glauben oder nicht 										(believe it or not)
Dann weiß ich, dass ihr kleiner grüner Kaktus sticht 				(Now I know that your cactus stings)
Bewahren Sie Ihren Kaktus 									(keep your cactus)
Gefälligst anderswo 											(somewhere else!)
Hollari, hollari, hollaro“

Our tears from the first song soon subsided from the comedical nature of the second one and as Markus finished, we all had a good laugh together.





Nightmare Moon?! - Rainbow Dash

It was a pretty chill day. I finished all my weatherpatrol duties very early, so I had enough time for a looong nap. I took a comfy cloud and went to sleep on it. At least I wanted to, but I suddenly heard a loud scream.

I quickly flew down to see what was going on and saw a scared mare run from the everfree forest. I dashed to her and asked what was going on.

"I-I saw N-Nightmare Moon! I wanted to go to Zecora get some medicine, when I heard rustling in the bushes. I turned to see what it was, when I saw nightmare moon look at me. She demanded I shall submit myself to her or she will bring darkness over my dreams! I ran back to ponyville in fear after that."

Nightmare Moon was back? but that couldn't be! Luna visited me in a dream just the other day and she looked pretty normal. I decided that I had to see for myself, so I went into the everfree. 

For a while nothing happened, but then I heard a rustle next to me. I turned to face it and there she was. Nightmare Moon, looking out from a bush.

"Aaah, Rainbow Dash, one of those who transformed me back into my weak old self."

I felt my legs shiver, but I held my ground, as she continued.

"I have a very special use for you, my dear Rainbow Dash. You and your friends shall become my personal servants! Now bow before me!"

I took all my courage and dashed for her, knocking her down. I looked at her and noticed, that her body wasn't that of a pony at all. Instead I saw a very familiar colour pattern.

"Wait, Markus? What are you doing here?"

Markus swiped his arm over his head, which transformed it back to normal.

"Ah, geez, you got me, Rainbow." He smiled at me. "You know, I found out that I can compress my Magic into form around my body. I tried around a bit and actually managed to mimic different heads. When I found out I could do that I couldn't help but have a little fun."

I looked at him, then looked back at the road. After a moment of silence I burst into laughter. This was exactly my kind of fun.

"Hey, can you do other faces than just Nightmare Moon?" I asked him.

He nodded and swiped his hand over his face again. His head now looked like Rarity's.
"Oh, Rainbow, Darling. Your Mane just looks plainly awful! You should really try to clean it more often."

I looked at my mane and found a few sticks and leaves hanging from it. I giggled and looked back at Markus. He swiped his face again, now showing Pinkie's head.

"Cupcakescupcakescupcakescupcakescupcakescupcakescupcakes, I looooooooove CUPCAKES!"

I started laughing and before I could regain myself, he transformed into Spitfire.

"Listen here caded Crash: There's only three ways of getting better: training, hard work and MUFFINS!"

I laughed even harder, almost choking from it. Markus then joined me.
After we both calmed down, we looked at eachother with a smirk on our faces. We both knew, we would have a LOT of fun with this...