• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2011
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I'm the creator of Otakuworld.com, Jenniverse.com, the computer game Boppin', numerous online comics, novels, and tons of other wonderful things. I really love MLP:FiM.


I am a human-shaped unicorn, and I write stories and draw pictures. My only religion is Friendship, and my only politics is Kindness. I write stories to try to comprehend the native simians that live on the planet I'm kind of stuck on. I know I'll never figure them out, but it's fun to try.


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Thanks for the follow! :twilightsmile:

Yay! Happy Hearts and Hooves day right back!

Happy Valentines day/Hearts and Hooves day

Comment posted by Tristem_Saris deleted February 11th


A thought occured to me today. I think what rubbed a lot of people the wrong way [in Conversion Bureau stories] wasn't the anti-human or pro-pony stuff. It was the realism in modern humanity's general response to an invading force that orders them to assimilate into the invading force's lowest classes and give up their free thought and free will, or die.

This does not apply to me, or to any part of the Bureau stories I have collected in my Bureau Group. And mine is the first, original group, and I am the most prolific Bureau author. So... what the?

There is literally zero 'humanity rolling over', and there is no 'invading force' in any of my novels or stories. I don't know what stories you have read - there certainly have been a large number of very dark, very ridiculous 'Celestia as an invading monster' stories written by angsty folks - but they have nothing to do with me.

In my Bureau universe, in my particular take on the Bureau, the earth is effectively dead. The oceans are dead, the forests are gone, the Amazon is a desert, and most of the remaining accessible resources are used up. It is the future, sixty to eighty years from now, if absolutely nothing different or enlightened is done to change the capitalist rape of the planet. The population is nineteen billion, supported by nanotechnology which can convert human waste back into simple food and water. Within three generations, the level of oxygen in the atmosphere will drop to the point that no human can live. Global climate change is irreversable, and it is essentially the end of the world.

Into that very possible future comes my version of Equestria, which offers an escape - a lifeboat to another cosmos, another universe with vastly different physical laws. The laws are so incompatible that earthly life cannot survive there, but there is an answer to that: matter conversion into a form that can exist within the alien cosmos.

The only reason this happens at all, the only reason that humanity is offered a chance to survive its collective mistakes, is because - in my stories - Celestia made an expedition to our earth in 1033 AD, and met a human who saved her existence. In return, he extorted a promise: that she save humanity from doom one day. My Celestia keeps her promises absolutely. But - and this is important - she really, really doesn't want to do this. She does not want humans in her universe... but she is bound by her royal promise, and she must at least try to save the human species. If she can. If they are willing.

The only reason that the ruling human government of that age and time agrees to allowing humanity to be saved is because - in my stories, purely in my fantasy - even the ruling class are not completely evil. Seriously: I posit a supreme ruling class that, at some level, actually cares - a little - about the common man, the peasant, the hopeless billions. Some would say that is unbelievable, but I argue that within every person, however wealthy or removed from ordinary life, there still exists some degree of compassion for their fellow man. I argue this strongly in all of my stories. Many disagree. So be it.

If this is not what you have read of the Bureau, then you have not read my novels.

There is so much fuss over the Bureau genre, and not a bit of it applies to anything I have written, yet I have somehow become a focus for all of the attention. This is inappropriate.

So, put simply: in my stories, the government of earth cooperates with Celestia because they are not total dicks, and actually want to help the impoverished billions of the planet. Celestia is willing to save doomed, dying humanity, and take them into her cosmos, because she promised a human back in 1033 AD, and she keeps her promises even if she doesn't want to... because she is honorable.

There is no invasion, just an offer of salvation, if humans want it - and many don't and they die when the earth is absorbed. They would have perished anyway, when the earth died completely in roughly sixty more years. Nobody 'rolls over'. They just decide they want something of human culture, knowledge, music and identity to survive the end of the world. So, they are willing to take a new shape, in order to allow the soul of humanity to survive the end of the entire planet.

Please read - all the way through - a few of my novels, and see for yourself. Try 'Cross The Amazon' for a good example. Then get back to me.

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The Final Word · 11:34am Feb 25th, 2017