Earth pony, pegasus pony, unicorn; a human entering a Conversion Bureau will end up as one of these three pony forms. But there is a secret provision, to which all Bureaus must adhere utterly, should one unlikely but intolerable transformation somehow occur. The absolute monarch of Equestria fears nothing from the human world. Nothing save this. Lillian Fogarty wanted only to be a simple pony in Equestria. Sought by the combined forces of Earth's corporate government and the might of Equestria itself she finds herself an abomination in both worlds, her survival almost certainly an impossibility.
Oooh! This is going to be good.
It is quite funny - just last week I was pondering this sort of event and thinking about, perhaps, seeing if I could place such a bug in someone's ear.
The Internet doth work in mysterious ways. :)
Being as my OC is one of the "immortals" this interests me greatly. See, I run a handful of 'pony' sims in SecondLife and am the ultimate power there - literally able to raise and lower the sun and moon, raise mountains, etc. So I set about creating a blatant violation of canon, working up vast quantities of back story, and like any 'godlike' character I'm only good as an NPC - but I tell you it's been a real hoot this last year or so.
So, thank you for attempting this. Again, I'm very interested to see how you work this out as everything else you've written as been both thought provoking and highly entertaining.
And here... we... GO!
Watching like a Hawk.
Sir, I take my hat off and dash it upon the ground, i'm looking forward to what happens next!
Also, I'm proud to say my guess on what you were doing with the story based on the title was completely and utterly WRONG
Oooh, this is something else, something unsettling. Celestia and Luna with something to... potentially hate and fear. In any other hooves I would be worried. I still am, and I think that's good. I don't know if I'll be happy reading this, but I know I'll like it.
Also, how did... comment... before posting... jealous now :(
Whooa, this sounds very interesting. Time to read!
Sweet. Woke up on my birthday to see a new piece from the incomparable Chatoyance. It's gonna be a good day. *scrolls back up to start enjoying*
I see your using the inscrutable all powerful model for your Tia and Lulu (Oh wait... same as Taste of Grass, gotcha). One of the darker variants of the Conversion Bureau, but still.. marked and watching, I'm going to enjoy seeing where this one goes.
Holy mother of potatoes... That was... Wow... I can't even dicribe what I have just read even thought I write that was... That AMMAZING!!! Please write some more , I must know what happens next. Now I have to go back to my writing which looks terrible compared to this. Just please keep on writing.
... aaaaand cue the 'oh crap' moment.
This is going to be interesting indeed...
Looks cool, looking forward to more
Should be interesting. I'd always figured the Earth governments would be actively attempting to sponsor such a thing, as that would be a potential advocate for humanity despite the change of form. Also, a good excuse to call on the mane 6 to seek out the recipient.
I predict lots of fun with paranoia, short-sighted thinking, and characterizations. Fire those friendship cannons!
Ah, I'd bashed together some daydreams like this to keep myself awake at work. Interesting to seem it take on such a sinister note, though. In my mind, they'd been more thrilled to see another with the potential to join their exclusive and painfully lonely caste. We've only just had the first chapter, and I'm already tense and eager for a resolution. Between the cover image, the teaser blurb, and the staff's reaction (the doctor seemed downright ashamed to have to call in a Code Majeste) I imagine things are going to get tense. I can't wait to see this side of the Royal Pony Sisters. Are they acting fearfully? Out of jealousy for the exclusivity of their role and station? Is there some dreadful side affect in store for a newfoal alicorn that would make her new life unbearable? Do I have to sound like the announcer at the end of a Saturday morning cartoon? All these answers and more.....oh, just write the darn thing. Now I'm all anxious and such. So much happy anticipation
Believe it or not, we have actually discussed Alicorns through comversion many a time before in the earlier days oc TCB. Of course everyone discussing the matter either didnt want to, lacked the skill or was busy with their own fics already.
You seem to be on the right track for making this most delicate of situations work. Godspeed Chatoyance, Godspeed and good luck. Its a tricky subject but if anyone can do it, its you. Or maybe Midnight. Idunnolol.
Can I has more?
YES! You're back! Oh, how I love these stories! GO GO GO!
MORE!!!
Don't think I ever said that about a fic, probably because I had an idea like this once. (Though not with this type of reception) Made for a damn effective cliffhanger though. That cliffhanger was just cruel!
Hope to see an update, great story!
So once this gets out to the general pony public... Is the HLF going to be in this story and actually do something intelligent for once?
By the way, could you please update your ponyhchan link in your stories?
Oh, good grief.......Lillian's life just got turned into a crap sandwich. Given her odd color scheme, I have a bad feeling that I know what's to become of her.........
I feel a sad yet epic story coming up. . Tracking now
I was afraid you'd do this.
Knowing what I know of your writing, which happens to extend to only your Conversion Bureau work except, for some reason, Teacup, knowing that you seem fairly aware of the fandom (for better or worse) and that you are not afraid of touching on dark or sometimes cynical topics, and sometimes in a cynical way. Your stories never promise happy endings, and most often they do not promise happy rising actions or climaxes or even happy denouements.
In a way, though, that's kind of why I prefer you over a lot of other authors. The Conversion Bureau universe for the most part promises and implies cynicism and depression, and yes, in a lot of the stories, that's evident; but even so in a lot of the stories I've read some authors tend to gloss over it, or super-idealize it. You do neither. Your world does not promise happy endings for those that do not work for them.
So when I say I'm afraid... well, I'm afraid for Lillian. I'm afraid of what she's going to have to go through to get to the end of this story, and I'm honestly afraid for everyone, and everypony, else too.
And yet I'm looking forward to it, too.
... There's also the fact that she looks kind of like Ditzy Doo and that kind of automatically invokes pity.
I too am looking forward to more. Glad to see you writing again. Now to go look at the other oneshots you put up that I didn't notice before this.
Argh. I'm looking at this with trepidation and excitement. To be honest, I don't know whether I want to read it. I'll give it two more chapters.
Golly! I can't wait to see what kind of zany conundrums she's going to get herself into! ten dollars says she's visited by a shadowy and mysterious guardian who informs her that she is, in fact, the CHOSEN ONE, who's destiny is to overthrow the DREAD TYRANT CELESTIA as foretold by the prophecies.
(noses through the comments so far)
Wow - seems like quite the hot-button subject and I'm fascinated by the fact that Chatoyance's writing is powerful enough that there is some serious trepidation to even reading the story simply because of the subject at hoof.
We collectively need to remember always that the goal of art, and writing is art, is to make the viewer feel something - to invoke an emotional response - and not all emotional responses are happy ones.
Also, this is an alternate universe. This is not storybook Equestria. Things seem to be very grim and sharply defined here, and it is precisely this setting which allows Chatoyance to ask the hard questions of humanity; to hold a mirror before them and let them see themselves from another's perspective.
The reflection we see might be disquieting and maybe even make us upset - but I guarantee it will make us think.
And I'm pretty sure that's the goal. :D
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If Windfeather is anything to go by, the prophecies probably need updating
Pretty much anything I had to say has already been covered by everyone else here. I'm excited and worried at the same time with a side order of squee.
Also I’ve found it kind of odd that no one has taken the Alicorn conversion rout before, the rocky road of sue-ship that it sets out to be. Yet I do not fret over this, as you’re quite possibly the one author that could pull this off.
Trepidations and anticipation abounds.
You got me curious...
*track*
*squeek*
YAY! More from she who has the unicorn jelly cutiemark!
Well my friends keep telling me I'm easily impressed...
Well screw them I'm tracking this till doomsday!
Good luck to us both
Yeah, considering your track record this read as exactly as I figured it would. And from the summary and dream sequence Celestia and Luna are going to take even further huge departures in character than what you've done already; and from the sounds of it you might as well dress them both up as Snidely Whiplash and have them stomp on a few Human babies for the hell of it.
I know this is supposed to be an AU of an AU but for cripes sake.
When I saw it was going to be a newfoal Alicorn story I got excited as hell. Then I saw the summary and read the first chapter...
Edit: Edited to be less douchy.
New Chatoyance CB story? Check. Awesome concept with potential for awesome story? Check. Fillies and Gentlecolts, keep your hooves and legs inside the fanfic at all times and sit back and enjoy the ride!
This is gonna prove interesting....
Somebody move over, I want a seat. *grabs popcorn*
hmm... it seems the shiola has hit the overhead spinner... well time to hid behind umbrellas and watch the chaos *drinks the glass from around the chocolate milk*
Alicorn OC's are a massive pet peeve of mine, but you have previously proven that you are capable of turning potential Mary Sues into likable-but-not-too-likable characters rather than thinly veiled forms of wish fulfillment, so for now good sir, I give you the benefit of the doubt.
P.S. please either update only during the weekends or release short chapters, the taste of grass seriously cut into my schedules. Yes, it was THAT good!
p.p.s. How is your spouse doing with the whole regenerate-a-sarcophagus problem? I hope your spouse is doing well.
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>p.p.s. How is your spouse doing with the whole regenerate-a-sarcophagus problem?
so....her spouse is a vampire of some sort? maybe a lich?
I am a bit worried about how you're going to characterize Celestia and Luna. They may be Princesses, but they're also very much Ponies as well. I'm not opposed to doing a cannon character with a different personality than what's in (and implied in) the show, as long as it's done well. (Ex: Transcendence is a good example. However you characterize the Princesses, if you do badly everyone is gonna complain about it and that's not fun.
I can't be the only one who finds the picture for this story to be a bit silly. Celestia looks ridiculous.
hmm interesting the princess are afraid of humans that become Alicorns, hmm I wonder how many of the billions of humans that became ponies became alicorns?
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*Offers the wolf a seat next to her and passes the popcorn bucket.
You, mam, are a beast.
Lovely Chapter and MOAR PER I SAY. MOAR!
Man, this keeps getting better and better. Keep it up
GLORIOUS!
As always, masterfully executed. I wait with baited breath for chapter 3.
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Glass half full: We may find that the powers of the immortals are, indeed, limitless - and we are dealing with a world where emergent universes are not only real, they're a major plot-point.
Perhaps young Lillian here might end up in one of her very own - safe from the forces that will undoubtedly hunt for her to the ends of the universe; either one.
Whatever the case, this is as always very well written and I patiently await the next installment.
Okay, we've established that she's in trouble and that Celestia is DEFINITELY not on her side.
We also know that she has a means to avoid her detection.
What now? Does she seek help from friends? Does she receive aid from an unlikely source?
How is she going learn more about what's going on and, in turn, enlighten the audience?
The only person I know of to get her own alicorn generally accepted by the fandom is Faust. But Code Majeste is special because the alicorn aspect of the character is part of the conflict, if not its heart, and is just getting the character into more trouble.
An offhand thought on Original Characters: OCs that claim the attention of your pony waifus become disliked, while those that might become waifus themselves are more accepted. (Think Velvet or Echo Fleetfoot.)
-Verreaux
Questions, questions, questions. Where did the Equestrian Horn Ring come from, why would it be there, how would Olivia know about it, or how it worked?
What are the details and protocols of Code Mageste? Nothing good, obviously, but I have one of those minds that wants to know, just because. How many alicorns there have been or would be is not as important, it would seem, as how many were/are allowed to SURVIVE after their change......Ominous.
Okay, now that that's out of my system:
So happy to see Chatoyance back at her stories!!! I have a feeling I know where things might be going, but the journey is an adventure, and twists are well within our beloved authoress's venue. I can feel Chapter 3 on the horizon, and with heated anticipation I await the notice for it's posting.
Great......you'd think that Celestia would simply remove the offending horn and let the poor mare live in peace. Nope. She's got to treat her like so much Windfeather.
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"Instead, I think, you may find...."
You might want to try being a little less up-front about these kinds of details. Especially the last part. Think about how your average reader might react to knowing what kind of ending the story they're reading is going to have. Details or not, now I know what to expect. I haven't made an account here, but if you can edit or delete your comments, I would definitely recommend you get rid of what's basically a massive spoiler for the entire story please.
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Yeah, alicorns have been discussed, but they are very hard to do right. In standard fanfic, they have a very, very high chance of being a Sue. In CB fics they have a very, very high chance of being self-insert Sue.
As massively egotistical as it may sound, I trust Chatoyance to do an alicorn right - I know how I could end it, but I'm not sure I want to discuss it because I don't want to influence the story. For me, though (and I will say this), there is only two ways I could realistically end it - godhood or oblivion. My versions of Luna and Celestia aren't quite the same eternal beings as Chatoyance's are. Mine have godlike powers, and possibly created many things, and are quite possibly avatars, but aren't all-powerful or all-knowing, not even in their own realm. I prefer my gods more... human. I can't write an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient creator reliably because everything that needed resolution would be resolved in very short order, and theodicy in such a situation is untenable without a god which has other priorities than molly-coddling.
Oh boy is this going to be a roller-coaster...
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The magic-inhibitor macguffin is relatively common, and the only real way to inhibit a unicorn is via the horn since that is often taken as the seat of their powers, or at least some focal point.
Using it is simple - it's an enchanted object, not a binding spell. The latter would require a ceremony and probably multiple casters. The former, the inhibitor ring, does its job by mere proximity. Presumably, with it on, others may not even see her horn (depending on whether it's supposed to be part of a camoflage set) or at the very least it will inhibit her magic and, at the cost of making spells impossible, also hide her as a winged unicorn from the baleful glare of the sun tyrant.
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Done. I hope I yet surprise you, though. I will try.
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I'm refusing to let myself comment on possibles - I know I'll be surprised.