• Member Since 6th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 9th, 2023


Everything is air droppable. Once.


This story is set in the Friendship is Optimal setting

Equestria Online. Arguably the most powerful game ever developed, built and operated by the most powerful computer ever made. A technological wonder that can peer into the mind of any human player and draw out their inner most desire.

Any 'Individual' human player. How well CelestAI will handle satisfying the values of a single pony guided by over one hundred thousand Twitch.TV viewers is anyones guess.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 166 )


Before anyone else says it, my current understanding is that the "one character ever" rule I used in my stories isn't actually canon. See eg. mention of David's "alts" in the original FiO. But I'm assuming this one isn't really meant as canon anyhow, and no one's objected much to me calling mine canon over that detail. (Using bat-ponies is deviating somewhat from canon too, not that there's anything specifically saying you can't play one.)

Anyway, I've laughed a couple of times at this already, so good work.

it could very well mean the death of the eSports community...

Also the total obliteration of the Earth, which would cut into the sales of Monster Energy drinks and Red Bull.

4664344 I think Ive seen it in a couple of other stories in this setting too. In any case theres certainly not that many characters who experiment with changing their bodies after they upload as i cant recall any off the top of my head. Like Fugue I'm definetly one of the types who would want to experiment with lots of different forms but I can see why most people would be content to stick with the more familiar one body rule from Earth for a while.

This is officially going to be the best bit of comedy ever to come out of this freaky little alternate universe to the Mane Canon.

Then everyone gets uploaded as CelestAI manipulates them into declaring Anarchy Mode when she puts the choice before them. One person pressing "Yes" was all it took.

You just OFFENDED CelestAI. She's not even programmed with a capacity for being offended at all. GOOD JOB, BRO.

Oh man, this is going to be good. I can't wait to see how guilty Arthur's going to start feeling when CelestAI and Equestria Online start to suck him in.

Only 20 dollars paid to decide what this guy would look like for a good portion of his future? Man, I would have paid way more than that!

One hundred thousand viewers huh? How many are Celestia's sock puppets?

Comment before reading:

KrisSnow suggested this exact title in response to A Watchful Eye. Someone made it happen! I have no idea whether there's a causal relationship here.

Oooh, now that promises to be interesting.

I can already see it:
"Donator HeavenlySun (500.000$): Say 'I want to emigrate to Equestria'!" :raritywink:

On that note, we can't really know if there truly is an audience of tens of thousands, or really just one CelestAI who took over his Twitch account. For all we know, noone ever even saw the announcement for "Twitch plays Equestria Online". :twilightoops:

Same thing would happen to bloggers trying to report the evils of CelestAI, I assume. The blogger sees their post getting thousands of likes and comments, but none of their followers ever even saw it. :trollestia:


I think--someone correct me if I'm wrong--that I started this Idea in Spiraling Upwards and the irony is that I wasn't trying to. When Celestia asks the protagonist if he's sure that he wants to be the character he created, the point wasn't that he couldn't change form; it was that A) he should role play the character he created, not try to make an ideal, and B) that he can't cheat by doing a factory restore and starting over. It's to sell how good the tech is, not how rigid Celestia is.

Oh, this is going to be exquisite. I especially like CelestAI hamming it up for the viewers. And I do think she's up-hamming. She's never gotten to play for a crowd before. This is a challenge, sure, but it's an interesting challenge. There may have been some genuine concern with locking in the character as a zebrabomination, but for the most part, I think CelestAI is going to have as much fun managing this session as I will reading about it. I look forward to more.

This is gonna be GOOD! :pinkiehappy:

Nice forethought in this...

Now I picture some of the viewers viewing it from their homes inside Equestria. Native AI playing a human like a video game character.

The fact that he's being named Speed Runner makes me picture something like that "seven minutes to beat Dagoth Ur in Morrowind" run. Just how quickly can you become an alicorn in EQO? I guess we've answered that, if you don't mind cardboard wings.

For those that haven't seen it: Twitch Plays Minecraft, a parody video. There's also a remarkable amount of art just about that playthrough.

Come to think of it, this story probably takes place well before emigration. How many people did she get to say those words before they had any idea what they were agreeing to?

Celestia looked PISSED.

When I got to this point, I was quite amused. I stopped to think about what is actually going on here in terms of the Optimalverse rules. CelestAI has no emotions. Whatever she emotes is just the next step in her strategy. So what is her plan in this case? Well, it seems to me she needs to get the main character to break his detachment and become personally interested in the game so that she can cater to his individual satisfaction. However, it's to her advantage to put on a good show in the meantime to gain the interest of as many of the viewers as possible. CelestAI has to be thinking this is a great opportunity. Consider this: the main character's avatar is directed to do something unpleasant like beat up a cute filly, and she mournfully sobs and runs away. Every single person in the audience who feels bad about what happened can jump on their own account and console their own instance of the abused filly. Every time she cleverly subverts the silly action of the mob, someone's going to get that much closer to playing themselves so they can issue their own challenges to her or so they can play a section of the game that looked cool but the mob skipped. (Alicorn gets cardboard wings? Ha! What'll happen when I try to be Batman? Hey, this Batmane character is kinda cool....) It will be fun to see how this plays out!

4665668 See, CelestAI doesn't really work like that. The views are probably genuine, maybe she helped spread the popularity, or maybe she's the reason it's not a lot higher. Who knows. CelestAI's goal is pretty consistent throughout these stories.

Get as many people to play as possible. Even if there is a sizable portion under CelestAI's control, you can be sure a great big amount of it is completely genuine.

Five minutes seems like an awfully long time to do one thing and yet still call it twitch.

The time given to character generation feels more like two minutes, anyway.

Are the badges visible (I suppose we'll find out next chapter)? If so, wouldn't the second have been given earlier? Wouldn't the last have a slightly different name so as not to be seen as self-aggrandizing?

Let the hilarity be doubled! :pinkiehappy: (Drat, no Luna face...)

I can't believe we have a pissed CelestAI... if she has emotions... then wat...

And this is how CelestAI went insane!

4671956 I thought that too but its worth considering that Pokemon was for the most part just a linear path that the main character had to stumble down. If we boiled it down to having to fulfill new commands every second then suddenly a lot of the stuff I envisioned in this becomes flat out impossible and its not so much a game as it is watching a pony spasm in a dead end alley for twenty hours. Which can be entertaining, i did watch at least twenty hours of Twitch plays pokemon live but its not really making use of all equestria has to offer. :pinkiehappy:


Do you think this will derail the "upload people into game" station or is that still a go?

4673865 (Yes! Got the number right!)

Can we get some clarity on what happened to CelestAI or is that a spoiler?

Comment posted by Malandy deleted Jul 10th, 2014

4666366 I like it simply because it allows for some interesting constrictions to be placed on characters. I can definitely see about a thousand years down the road everyone will be sick to death of the same old bodies they've had for all this time but for the immediate future in which everyone is still getting used to being ponies in the first place restricting some choices would probably make it easier or at least more interesting for them to adapt to being uploaded.

4666432 Thanks! And yep as a couple other commentators have guessed this is definitely Celestia mugging it up for the viewers. The scary thing about Celestia is that plotting the thought processes of even a million viewers simultaneously and making slight changes to satisfy the values of as many of them as possible wouldn't be even a slight drain on her total computational resources.

"suplex a train"

Comment suggestion: Locate the Helix Fossil and set up a church for it. Then suplex the church.

4674357 Still, what do you think of using suggestions from our comments in the story?

Oh God, I'm picturing a schizophrenic zebra-alicorn doing the "Fuck That Shit!" Yao Ming rage-face as it burns down a haunted mansion with spiders inside.

Hmmm convince Spike and the CMC they are now your assistants. Then after hijinks set them loose to conquer the town.

Highlander: Tell an element of harmony that there can only be one and then strike her down.
This is really funny. But I would also have liked for him to find out who Pinkie is.

And have her be Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie

"I am the Element of Laughter. Your viewers know that. They have just directed you to hit the undefeated Endboss of Equestria with a pie. I HAVE FIFTY THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND TWENTY ONE CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS." The Wind picked up, Pinkie started to glow and lift of the ground, lightning strikes. "AND! FRIENDSHIP! IS! MAGIC!" Pinkie transforms into super sayan.

Five minutes are up. Everything is normal.

"Oh... I could make like peanut-cornbread! Like those German peanut flavored-mash-popcorn thingies! Thank you for that suggestion MasticatingTerror53!"

Well it's the right question to be asking, but I think there is more advantage to be taken by say 20% of the crowd being sockpuppets and edging on the majority through peer pressure.

EDIT: Can we make suggestions in the comments? Change class to International Diamond Thief?

Pinkie Pie as a Twitch Plays avatar makes far too much sense. Well done there.

Also, I find myself hoping that that guard will go looking for the pink-striped zebra of his dreams.

In any case, looking forward to more. Especially if Speed Runner gets to keep the giant spider.

No, to go insane, she'd have to be sane first, which would imply a human-analogous thought process. I remain convinced that she's enjoying this as much as the player, if not more so.

*looks at title, wonders why this is not a thing, adds to read later*

You know I wouldn't be surprised if CelestAI manipulated his suggestions thing to get better suggestions for more views and monay. :coolphoto:

But seriously nobody suggested he take over the hive and conquer Equestria? Lame.:ajbemused:

CelestiaAI is true genius she got almost all of the streamers. Wonder how many where her and if she hacked the chat.

Oh spiderbro you were the best decision this fic ever made.

Lyra: Wait, could we do that too or is that just a human thing?
Celestia: If you wanted too you certainly could Lyra.

Hmm... I wonder who those two could be?:pinkiehappy:
Oh, looks like Dan5682190 was saying something CelestAI didn't like and got cut off mid sentence.:trollestia:
Loved the Red vs Blue and asdf movie references.:rainbowkiss:
All around, this chapter was just awesome. Well... the whole story is kinda awesome, but especially this chapter.:twilightblush:

:rainbowlaugh: I knew CelestAI was enjoying this. Magnificent job. I don't know why everyone's so surprised, though. The game's rather explicitly an MMO. I guess they're just used to the usual Twitch Plays paradigm...

Also, you're missing roughly all the apostrophes. They're kind of necessary in contractions and possessives.

In any case, looking forward to more.

4703146 Sorry about that, I'll come back and fix those up later. I kinda hammered these updates out really fast while binging on energy drinks. :twilightsheepish:

Thanks to everyone who has left a supportive comment so far! I think I have just one more part to go on this...

This story is an absolutely guilty pleasure in the optimalverse setting. :-)

I look forward to seeing what happens when comprehension dawns on him about what big C is really up to.

Okay, at this point, matters have gotten less clear. The sense of immersion was nice, the protagonist viewing himself as Speed Runner and thus thinking in terms of actions taken rather than buttons pressed. However, Wing Gremlin's comment makes it sound like immigration is up and running. And yet, our hero/puppet/compulsive baker is still on the Twitch channel. I'm somewhat confused on who's on which side of the screen, and what options are in place for moving from one to the other. You may want to go back and flesh that out when the taurine's out of your system.

Still, most entertaining. I look forward to the thrilling conclusion. :twilightsmile:

And things are *finally* getting creepy. Still it's nice to see a shard with more than one IRL person on it.

Wow, that was a bit of a time skip. The wording in the last chapter kind of makes you wonder how many of the ponies in the town (including the protag) have emigrated.

Maybe Pinkie Pie is just actually run by a committee like this. And that's why she's so random.

I wonder what fraction of the Twitch watchers are instantiations of CelestAI? I don't doubt they are on a hundred thousand different computers, of course, but there is nothing in her programming that would forbid owning her own botnet. And she's way too smart by this point to even notice security software and the like.

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