• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Chatoyance


I'm the creator of Otakuworld.com, Jenniverse.com, the computer game Boppin', numerous online comics, novels, and tons of other wonderful things. I really love MLP:FiM.

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Petra Alice Bettencourt, a child of the lost Earth's ruling corporate elite, nears her fourteenth birthday. The earth is years gone now, and Petra lives on with the elite in special mansions on the backside of Canterlot Mountain. But Petra, like all the Worldgovernment elite, has had her experience of Equestrian life determined by the agreement that made the Conversion Bureaus possible at all - she is still completely human, in Equestria.

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 885 )

If you're *leading* with a plot twist this big, I can't even begin to imagine what's next...

Also I got a very nice "The Secret Garden" vibe from this. *Flood of high-school reading nostalgia...*

alice is wonderland my ass
THIS IS 100X BETTER!

Error found, "I know she wouldn't dare looking for us here."
... That tail business does upset me greatly. I have met two people who were born with tails and had them removed before they ever had a choice.
On a lighter note, with two performers, one completely silent, would you get the joke if I said, "Zutty - Zutt Zutt"?

Oh buck yes! I am so going to read this... soon... :twilightsmile:

Petra is back! She always did interest me.
And is Plantian Arces the little filly that whose mom complained about to Petal? :pinkiehappy:
Loving the story so far.

2787926

Error found, "I know she wouldn't dare looking for us here."

I don't understand. Maybe I am confused... I don't see the error? Could you explain?

On a lighter note, with two performers, one completely silent, would you get the joke if I said, "Zutty - Zutt Zutt"?

I am always a Babylon 5 fan. More than this, I am quite the fan of Pen and Teller. Met them once. Very nice, very friendly people. Pen is always reserved, inside, though. He's got a wall ten miles thick. Teller is... I don't know what to make of the man. He is also heavily walled off... or else he is utterly, frighteningly quiet inside. I can't figure either of them out, to be honest. But... they are very polite and nice.

Well, unless Pen has an ISSUE with something. Then, angry hilarity.

2787944

And is Plantian Arces the little filly that whose mom complained about to Petal?

Teacup, actually, and yes. Plantain also appeared in The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!

Ohohoho~!

This... is wonderful... I can finish my new story in an entirely new way now... :rainbowdetermined2:

2787987 Whoops:twilightblush:guess I got them mixed up.:pinkiehappy:
Her shows definitely sounds interesting.

2787972
About the line, "I know she wouldn't dare looking for us here.", it seems it should either be "I know she wouldn't dare GO looking for us here." or "I know she wouldn't dare LOOK for us here."

2787972

Error found, "I know she wouldn't dare looking for us here."

I don't understand. Maybe I am confused... I don't see the error? Could you explain?

Say it out loud. I think it could be fixed by changing "looking" to just plain "look"

They tell us that, we lost our tails, evolving up, from little snails!

And so, with a ladder and a kind word, Petra says her mother's prejudices are all just wind and sails.
Are we not men? We are pony! Are we not men? P-O-N-Y!

Sorry, needed to get that out of my system. :twilightsheepish:

Anyway, a great start. Definitely looking forward to where this one is going. So many questions come to mind, especially regarding thaumatic radiation.
Also that "I guess we're both real!" line made me think of Through the Looking-Glass. Nice subtle reference there, if you intended it. If not, then that just means it's even more subtle than I thought![/pinkielogic]

Well, at least the Bettencourts are paying attention to Petra and instilling a sense of obligation, instead of playing golf or capturing ponies for dressage until she goes full Paris Hilton. Maybe that was part of their deal with Celestia. It's almost enough to overlook their filling her head with egregious lies, such as that our lineage split with mollusks after there were snails.:twilightangry2:
...Well, I suppose the whole speciesism and classism thing is pretty bad, too. So far, though, Petra's mom and dad are the only adult humans we've been told about, so I have to wonder if that's common or if they're just assholes.

This is really exciting so far, and I love the different illustration style and slight change in prose voice to capture the Lewis Carroll vibe - "[noun] is ever so [adjective]," and so forth.

I also really loved all the references to your other stories, it was a total "squee" moment when I recognized them.

I like this story so far, :raritywink:

Favoriting, and looking forward to reading this at some point...

my only comment pre-having read it however is...doesn't this kind of invalidate some of your stories? I thought the whole idea was that in your universe of the TCB genre that humans quite simply couldn't live in Equestria.

I certainly look forward with interest at this story.

New Chatoyance fanfic?! :pinkiegasp:

Please, MOAR!

Btw, my like and fave :heart::moustache:

The pony ran up the ladder to the roof with an astonishing agility. It was easier for they pony that it was for Petra, and she was very impressed. The pony then followed the edge of the roof until she came to the inset where Petra's bedroom window was. Petra stepped back and allowed the pony and bunny to enter.

- I think the "that" needs to be a "than".

I'm presently imagining Plantain having a voice similar to Fluttershy, and Creme (sorry, don't know how to get the accents here without going to a word document) as the offspring of...
Creme the rabbit from Sonic
th02.deviantart.net/fs38/PRE/f/2008/325/b/8/creme_and_chao_cheese_by_Shadows_penn.jpg
and one of the Long Patrol hares of Redwall (or more accurately Salamandastron).
fc09.deviantart.net/fs24/f/2008/017/d/a/daa7b421c4bf4fe5.jpg

I'm liking how this is coming along, and I'm being reminded of Matilda in addition to Alice in Wonderland. Of course that means I'm reading this story in Danny DeVito's voice along with whoever voiced Jervis Tetch.
[Sorry for the quality in the first video. T for Teen content. Also; Batman: Arkham City quotes.]
[youtube=JbrfCJgSBqo]
[youtube=nPFO97SwDu0]

Petra Alice Bettencourt

AHA knew the name Alice had to be in there somewhere. Σ:♪

measured recitation

How does the little crocodile, et cetera... =^_^=

i like you are doing tcb again.

2788008
Oh... I looked at that twice and STILL missed it. I am derp.

FIXED!

2788071
Oh, thank you for that. Someone who knows DEVO. I was hoping...

2788500

- I think the "that" needs to be a "than".

FIXED! Eldenath is off to the Renaissance Faire this week, and so I didn't have her to read out loud to, and work together to catch errors. Sigh.

2788253

my only comment pre-having read it however is...doesn't this kind of invalidate some of your stories?

As you will find, no, it does not. I am finally answering a set of questions that some have asked - why did the ruling families of the Worldgovernment agree to ponification? Some of this has been revealed in Recombinant 63, but the full story is going to be explored here, among other issues.

Consistency of universe is something I consider mandatory for good science fiction or fantasy.

Buckle in, it's going to be a ride.

Well. This is shaping up to be interesting. Faved.
EDIT: For anyone who says that humans can't survive in TCB Equestria, there is precedent for it. In "Tales of Los Pegasus", the fifth or sixth chapter is from the perspective of a severely wounded HLF soldier being kept alive in a hospice in a shielded, thaumaturgically sterile area of the Everfree Forest.

2788253 What if they aren't Earth humans any more? You know, those theorized 'magic humans' that a few people think about? What if that was the deal the Masters of the Universe made with the RPS?

Wild mass guessing here.

I have nothing against this, but..

Seriously, how many Conversion Bureau stories do we need?

This might seem silly, but when I first read the description, I thought that since only magical creatures can live in Equestria, that this must be a magical girl. A magical girl complete with talking animal sidekick, transformation sequence, and a destiny to punish evil on behalf of the moon princess.:rainbowdetermined2:

2789484
Conversion Bureau stories are science fantasy stories, sometimes even hard science fiction stories. The Conversion Bureau and the Optimalverse are the two most intelligent, vital and original genres within the pony community. They explore issues of identity, humanity, cosmology, higher dimensional spaces, xenobiology and much more.

Transformation stories are as old as humanity, and have always fascinated mankind, from before Ovid to today. They are an excellent way to examine the human heart through the guise of a presumed alien other. And the Conversion Bureau offers the most original, detailed, and self-consistent fresh new take on the classic transformation story that is available today - and that from, of all things, smart people watching a cartoon!

How many more Conversion Bureau stories do we need?

How many more brilliant works of science fiction do we need? How many more Fireflys, Babylon Fives, episodes of Doctor Who or movies like Blade Runner do we need? The answer is simple for both the Conversion Bureau and science fiction in general:

As many as humanly possible!

Surprised more people aren't talking about the elephant in the room. From past stories any humans that tried to cross over got turned into pudding/confetti/cotton candy. This chapters is raising a lot of questions. Fun.

oh my, this really is quite interesting! It turns a lot of things on their heads, but at the same time... makes sense. It makes me want to see what the rulers of Earth are getting up to now they're essentially squatters in paradise. I can't help but think of the scene in the last battle with the dwarves in the hay shed...

2787926

Error found, "I know she wouldn't dare looking for us here."

I believe that "dare" in this sentence is being used as either an auxiliary verb or in the sense of "hazard". In either of those cases, the sentence is correct (if unusual) as written. :twilightsmile:

The question is of course... just how deep the rabbit hole goes, and would Alice really want to live in the looking glass? Was life really but a dream?

2790155
This is a conventional speech usage, and something I have heard spoken in real life. It is not only permissible but desirable to violate proper English for dialogue, because people do not normally speak in formal English, but rather in short bursts -often not even in complete sentences.

"You wouldn't DARE trying that if Big Joe were around!"

Or even
"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me."

2788907
Ah, okie dokie then. Well, I must say, the cover is great, and the premise sounds interesting. Though I'll freely state that the idea I'm drawing from the summary (that only the ruling elite of Earth weren't ponified, feel free to refute this if I am incorrect) rubs me the wrong way. But that's just me.

Will read later today while I continue my hunt for more pony music.
2789199
The thing that occurs to me is, provided I understand the serum used in Chatoyances verse correctly (feel free to correct me if wrong) its a combination of Earth Technology and Equestrian magic...

which consequently, seems to be what kills humans off via the barrier in the first place. I tended to assume the technology had something to do with keeping the magic component from killing people.

I've had the thought before that perhaps an incredibly small segment of humans might be resistant to the magic of equestrian, or that theoretically using some gene-splicing type of thing you could genetically modify humans to be able to live in Equestria without ponifying.

I would obviously assume something has been done to make it so they can live in Equestria

2789027

That's what I was thinking of; however, it was in the Everfree Forest specifically because that is the least magical part of Equestria... how much more energy would it take to shield a fortress enclave of humanity's wealthiest, close to Canterlot? :rainbowhuh:

I was going to say that the "Good Families" are on crack for wanting to live in walled-off palaces away from everyone else and only associating with their own, but then I remembered that you didn't make that up. :facehoof:

Huh, humans in Equestria after the earth's mass ponification. Seems similar to an idea I had at one point. Still, well done for now. Can't wait for more!

....Okay, just one question. Why is Petra speaking out of her time? Even the ponies speak with a 21st century dialect. It's nothing more than an observation, but I still want to know why.

2790494 Hmm, yes, I see where my miscommunication was. I'll explain in more detail.

The ponification serum utilizes a combination of magic and nano-tech to transform a human into a pony. Imagine instead a serum that transforms a human into a demi-human, a creature that's nearly identical in function and form as a Terran human but instead out of the stuff native to the world of Equestria. This being would be native as it would be artificial, but it's the only way I can think of to wander Equestria freely as something that's close enough to human that nobody could tell the difference.

Granted, all this is contingent on the conceits presence within this incarnation of TCB. Also, I could be totally wrong. But it seems like this is the sort of demand that The Masters Of The Universe would make, so until I'm shown to be wrong, this is what I think happened.

I feel that the first chapter of a story is always way too early to say anything meaningful.

That being the case, I instead choose to say, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh."

2787972

How exactly does one come to the conclusion that someone is 'frighteningly quiet inside?' That seems like an awfully big judgement of one's character, I can't imagine getting a read on anyone that quickly.

2791266
Ah, so pretty much a magicfication serum. It takes a human and transform them into an Equestrian Human, which is for all intents and purposes the same as a Terran human except for the whole not getting killed by Thaumatic radiation bit.

2791367
if you had grown up with my parents, and especially my psychopathic father - not to mention some of the truly dangerous, emotionally stunted children I met over my life - the notion of a person becoming frighteningly quiet would make total sense to you.

Often such quiet was the prelude to Really Bad Things, either emotional, or physical.

After a while, even a mere child will become very, very aware of any such change or alteration of mood. I certainly was. Hypersensitive to it.

We will see more of Petra's family, and of her life.

At the current moment, the like/dislike ratio for this story is 47/23 despite all comments being supportive and the general mood being positive.

This is why I want thumbs removed entirely. I have seen this happen with every single one of my stories, and many of my comments.

Thumbs down are a passive aggressive weapon to silence those who are blindly despised, and to prevent acknowledgement or front page popularity for the stories of those who are blindly despised. From the comments, there shouldn't be a single downvote.

At least the petty little bastards are being quietly abusive this time. Sigh. I know one of the shits has at least ten sockpuppets for this, because I watched him use them last night while I worked.

2792126

Disturbingly quiet I can understand, I guess it was the 'inside' part that threw me for a loop.

While the concept is interesting, I just can't get into it. Not upvoting/downvoting.

2792155

This is why I want thumbs removed entirely.

Yes, that seems to be a recurring theme of your stories. :pinkiehappy: Any time you want to pass the torch of most-hated TCB writer, I'll take up the mantle. I've always wanted to be judged by the enemies I've made.

Comment posted by Wroth deleted Jun 28th, 2013

2792155

I understand completely, it throws users, who actually use the voting to depict good stories from the bad, off balance towards whether the story is good or not considering that there is no moderators for voting allowing people to vote negatively or positively depicting upon their point of view towards the author rather than the story itself.

2792716
I did, for a long time.

But then I went to a counselor, I got some therapy for my abuse, and one of my assignments was to take back some personal power by confronting what had been done to me. So I posted my four-part blog on what had happened. I got a lot of positive feedback and support. That reminded me that even if some people take their hate of me into the real world, there are a LOT of people here who value my work and look forward to my stories. People who are good and decent and kind to me, and to others.

And the ultimate taking back of power is to choose to write again. Writing is my greatest happiness. If I let evil little shits take that away from me, then how can I respect myself?

I am back. And I am going to write up a fucking storm.

New story! This is so wonderful! And it looks like it's going to be a big one. Human in Equestria? I never thought I'd see the day... (Well I guess there's that dude stuck in the Everfree, the one with a broken neck.)

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