• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Chatoyance


I'm the creator of Otakuworld.com, Jenniverse.com, the computer game Boppin', numerous online comics, novels, and tons of other wonderful things. I really love MLP:FiM.

T

After the end of the Earth, a group of Newfoals form a society to fight back against their forced ponifications. Working against their new pony brains, they seek to bring Celestia herself to heel and force justice for the slights they feel they have endured. Soon their organization grows beyond their imagination, and Equestria is changed forever.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 357 )

I will read soon but Chapter 2's name just makes me laugh.

...I giggled purely at the name. This looks like it could be funny.

Wow, that is actually how a revolt would play out in equestria :rainbowlaugh:
I love the misconceptions and the innocence of it all, you should submit this to equestria daily once more chapters are up!

Oh our sides, our poor sides! :rainbowlaugh:

What have those ponies gotten themselves into, what madness can come of this innocent and misguided attempt at a revolt!

That just made our day and it is only 1AM.

My heart is bleeding for those poor, unhappy victims of Celestia. Truly, they are suffering a fate far worse I can imagine

I'm not sure what to make of this story chatoyance.

on the one hand It's well written, the designs are creative, and I'm not sure I've seen a CB story like this before so congrats on creativity.

on the other hand you lay the whole 'ponies are superior to humans' thing on way too thick. i know i shouldn't complain about that considering it's a comedy, but it seems like this 'anti-human' theme has appeared in EVERY one of your stories. it's starting to get a bit creepy.

I'll reserve judgement for now though.

Yes! New story from my favorite author!

643970
I am sooooo weary of the 'ponies are superior' thing. Listen: My schtick, my core premise is that Equestria is paradise, and ponies are angelic. That's the deal. That is what I saw in Season One, and it is what made me love MLP:FIM. The innocent kind, sweet, friendship literally is magic, better than life, lovely - but still exciting - Equestria is the one that caught my heart and soul. That is the only Equestria I write about. Equestria Prime, original Equestria, where the ponies only know love and kindness, and Celestia and Luna are deities that brought order to Discord's Chaos. THAT IS MY ANGLE.

Just accept it. That is my vision of Equestria - a world that would be worth being an afterlife. A world better and sweeter and kinder than our own in every way. There is no use complaining about it - it is the entire basis of any love I have for the show, for the characters, or for anything at all about these cartoon ponies. The second that dies in me, that is the day I stop writing here.

So, if you are going to read my crap, you are going to have to accept that my particular take on Equestria comes (almost) strictly out of season one, and purely out of the episodes where everypony is nice to everypony, and the only threats come from the Everfree. That is my deal, deal with it.

I deliberately contrast that perfect beauty with a realistic earth in order to gain contrast. Light and dark. Heaven and relative hell. That is my gig. That is what I do. That is the very core of my writing soul.

If you read Chatoyance, you read an Equestria that is fairyland, heaven, samadhi, dreamland, and perfect beauty. That's all there is to it. What they've done in season two to make the characters mean or cruel or human... that doesn't exist for me. It's all midichlorians to me, ruining The Force.

Accept it. That is MY Equestria. Just roll with it. It's a happy, fun place.

644010


Honestly, I don't...no Can't understand why people could complain about the way you treat Equestria in your universe. You have just as much right to see equestria through your own special color of lens if you choose it. Frankly, if someone doesn't like it then they should just stop reading, the story doesn't appeal to them in whatever way they'd like it to, and complaining about your stories as a whole just seems...wasted.


Anyway, I certainly enjoy your writing, and this one looks to be shaping up quite nicely.

644010

And that's why I like having every interpretation of Equestria represented in TCB.

My personal interpretation is going to start flowing out more in some side dialogue for my story, but to not try and hijack the thread I will just say that the Royal Sisters want controlled growth and dynamism in their society. They just want to make sure things don't get stagnant and boring, while ensuring things don't also get chaotic and uncontrollable.

In regards to this story and the general tenor of debate regarding others and you, I just have to say this:

My Jimmies are Eternal

I can't be the only one who recognizes Team Rocket, right? Because bless you Chatoyance for that.

644121

I seem to be on a Team Rocket kick right now. I think doing my PER story made me remember how much I loved Jessie and James and Meowth, and their back stories and personalities. They were just my favorites, once the episodes that defined them as people showed. I always just wanted to hug them all and make it better, you know? Thank you for noticing that reference in there! Yay!

644010
or, a more simple explanation: the MST3K mantra; "It is just a show (or story in this case), I should really just relax."

644134

Yes, you are right! I should just answer such issues with 'it's a story, relax!' and not worry. There is no way I can please everyone. If some have a problem, then, well, they have a problem. I'm just writing happy little stories here.

Yeah. Thank you. That helps.

Bwaahahahahaha

Oh god. Chat, I vaguely recall hearing you say that comedy is a thing you found difficult.

I think we can check "laffs" off the list. I'm giggling myself stupid. Well done.

Radwickins - they are the 1%.

I got sick of your writing style, what with its complete seriousness on all topics and such, so now I'm incredibly leery of anything you write.

This was kind of the last straw. It seemed like a pleasant sidestory kind of thing, but the 'and Equestria was changed forever' at the end of the summary hints at some sort of overarching plot, and after Code Majeste, I don't think I can take much more of that from you.

If the organization was just this little thing composed of a few ponies in a backwater town not really doing anything except get into trouble, then maybe I'd read that. But as it stands, I can't bring myself to even click on the first chapter.

Just figured I should say why I'm not reading any of your stories anymore before I finally unfollow you or whatever the hell you call it.

This is a companion fic to your PER story, isn't it?

'scuse me while I giggle myself to death and start reading.

EDIT: 'umbridge', I think you may have been going for 'umbrage' there.

644258

"If the organization was just this little thing composed of a few ponies in a backwater town not really doing anything except get into trouble, then maybe I'd read that. But as it stands, I can't bring myself to even click on the first chapter."

That's... exactly what it is so far. It seems we should be expecting some slapstick.

Poor Bucket though! Poor, poor Bucket. Seems there are still plenty of rich schmucks even in Equestria. They just don't get to crush the spirit of their underlings quite so much, and everypony generally enjoys themselves. How awful for them! :rainbowlaugh:

Ahh, this really brightened up my day:scootangel:.

I did set out to analyze their point of view from a philosophical perspective; how their complaints are reminiscent of culture shock moving from a ‘Closed Society’ into an open one. That was, up until I reached the mantra and fell out of my chair laughing in nostalgia.

The aspect of whether Newfoals would actively 'rebel' (in so much as a pony can) is something I've wondered about for quite a while. Personally, while she is broadly righteous, I don’t see Celestia as exactly benevolent, cultural genocide and her over arching reasons behind Earth's annexing an avenue I'm probably going to pursue in the epilogue to akh. Either way, I find myself somewhat rooting for their underlying cause, even though I can see this becoming utterly silly as time goes on.

As a side note, I begin to wonder if ‘EveryBODY’ will become Equestria’s first meme?

644390 Chatoyance has promised, in the summary, to make this little organization into a world-changing thing. And that's precisely what I'm sick of. So I'm just not going to start.

I loved the Team Rocket reference, and I agree with Midnight. I'd give Bucket a hug if I could, the little guy's adorable :pinkiehappy:

644427 You know what? I'm sick of, of... of stuff happening, too. People keep writing all these stories that have these crazy epic adventures, and when they only focus on one character, that character experiences these damn changes, just because of the stuff that happens in the story. Well, you know what? I'm not going to take it any longer, and I don't think you should, either. Let's make like a tree and blow this joint!

This is absolutely hilarious. I had actually wondered about the feelings of involuntary newfoals, which I felt had been somewhat overlooked in most of the CB stories. This is a look on the comic side, so I don't take it as a seriously as his royal highness the King. Quite frankly the moral premise of your CB stories is pretty consistent, and well known, so I kinda feel surprised that some people still get bothered by it: it is a plot element just like magic. Live with it.

644587 Thank you for illustrating the futility of arguing on the Internet.

644638 Arguing? Who's arguing? I must mean, "Thank you for illustrating the futility of agreeing on the Internet." And you're welcome!

643970
i think it is in responce to the whole fiasco that somebody brought up on her adding to the 10 minutes story.

chat usually has the thought provoking contrasting story on earth side. midnight has the "newfoal adapting to equestria in a hillarious manner" side. krass blends the two together with his own sillyness
and me.. i see myself as more of a "what would this charicter do if this happened" type of guy..

a person may not like one or the other.. but with this.. miniverse that has spawned from a single,simple, and even now not complete story..
there is loads to choose from.
some play the humans as the heros and the ponies as the zombie invaders.
others play the ponies as the heros and the humans as the biggoted great apes.

out of all of them i think that chat has the fareist representation of the miniverse.
she has charicters that have struggled through the hellhole that mankind has created based on what has/is happening today. she shows bad humans and good humans, bad newfoals and good newfoals.. and even the bad equestrian every so once in a while (like the one who got the residents of summerland caught there.)
if the haters want someone to fight.. i say come to me.. because with chat you are fighting a losing battle.. at least on mine you can insult my spelling and grammar.

Poor bucket, he could use a shower. :twilightoops:

Wow...just...wow. Most Honorable Lady Chatoyance, you've done it again. Another well-written, captivating and pleasantly quirky story. If you keep writing this well, I may never finish my own story! TAKE ALL THE DAMN MOUSTACHES!:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Team Rocket mantra. Sniff... I started gaffawing after the first line. I said to myself "it can't be!", but it was. I read on and litteraly laughed out loud on the train. Other serious, near to fifty, working on their laptop, business men like me tried not to look at me. Let them. I laughed all the way through. And I read each word slowly, savouring ean one.

Thank you Chatty!:raritywink:

644010 for once chatoyance, we are in complete agreement. to quote the almighty GRRM "they can keep their heaven. when i die, i'd sooner go to middle earth." edit: okay, maybe not complete agreement. infact the only thing i agree with you about is the 'heaven' thing.

644134 that mantra only applies to some things. like for instance, try to sit through 'my little fetish' with that mantra. you'll end up trying to claw your eyes out in, ooh, about five minutes:pinkiesick:.

644608 technically, the term is 'his royal majesty the king.' highness refers to princes or princesses while your grace or your majesty refers to a king or queen.:twilightsmile:

It seems you finally figured out funny:derpyderp2:

Good on ya.

644375
My spellchecker didn't catch it. In any case, FIXED, thank you, noble!

644258
It's a COMEDY, silly boy. Luna's Left Hoof. Settle down.

645345
Thank you, Krass, that means a lot to me, coming from you.

I know this supposed to be a satirical piece, but Chatoyance is still rather effectively underscoring the common story element of ponification leaving parts of a person behind. Chair being physically unable to speak a certain word is rather horrifying in a 1984 sort of way, like he's a Martin Scorsese movie being shown on network television. It's like some kind of censorship of the soul, and the comedy for me lies in the fact that that isn't even what the ponies are mad about.

What they are mad about doesn't even matter that much. The fact is that they are malcontents, they feel something is wrong deep down inside them, and that something must be done, but they're not even able to know what those things are. They seem as though they should be happy, but they are not happy, and they're holding up different puzzle pieces to the hole to see if it fits.

In the meantime, though, hey, ice cream!

645240

Dude, you get a 'royal' when you can show me your face on some money. Elizabeth gets a royal cause she's on most of bills and coins in my pocket. It also doesn't hurt that she looks a lot like my mother, although that did cause me some confusion in my childhood.

BTW - "your grace" is for Dukes and Duchesses, (and Bishops, I think.)

645447

Do not worry, Defaloce, I will endeavor to show the deep, indecipherable emptiness that existentially crushes these poor Newfoal monstrosities as they confront the dark and insufferable horror that their ponified brains literally cannot begin to express.

That, or it's a wacky comedy and will end in laughter and friendship. One of the two. I give you my word. Pinkie Promise.

645581

So far it's ended in ice cream, so, if this pattern of escalation continues, I think you're on track to arrive at one of those!

I didn't really mean to imply that this is the pony version of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream*, but I like to share things that occur to me as I'm reading. As a further example, it was amusing to me to imagine Celestia issuing mandatory enjoyable, high-paying jobs and attractive romantic partners like some kind of bizarro caste system, and that is why the ponies are complaining about things one wouldn't normally complain about.

*the title of that would be I Have No Cake and I Must Party, © 2012 Defoloce Enterprises Ltd. All rights reserved.

"The manager of the Thunderbolts..."

Silly Chatty, it's 'Wonderbolts.' :twilightsmile:

645820
The wonderbolts are the best flight group in equestria, implying there are other groups.

645365

The way you say that makes me sound like I'm the tops when it comes to funny:derpytongue2:

Everyone knows I only Write the most serious of fics!:pinkiecrazy:

Also, I dont know if you actually take AAF as part of your universe, but you wrote him in before so wouldnt he be the second millionaire or higher? Forgive me if Im mistaken.

644159 "I'm just writing happy little stories here." Well, this one seems like that so far, but if one looks at your TCB-stories as a whole... I approve the complaints (though most, if not all, have already been disclosed weeks or months ago), because you yourself have made it clear that you, the author behind the fics, think your portrayal of Earth and its people is realistic if not even optimistic. Because of that you can't just say "it's not me but merely the characters I created" anymore. Now it haunts you, and you must live with it -- even with the (truly and truthfully) happy little stories.
Then there are the comments about the other end: how canon is your Equestria? Y'know, like I could start with: "TR eats all the pie and stays fit, WTH!?" You go: "You notice the amount of pastries Pinkie Pie consumes?" I say: "But she obviously has bulimia." You: "Listen to yourself. Bulimia, please be kidding." Me: "Twilight certainly threw herself back to shape, when she had that brunch with the Apples." Oh, and how about there's a newfoal, whose name had been (insert profanity [it could happen, I can picture a Bulgarian named Fuckwitzk])? Could anypony say, or even think, his/her name? This is a bit more dumb, but I approve the complaints about this as well, as well as the responses, of course (remember the mantra...).

Enough pointless rambling, I want to say something about this fic too; about these two chapters. When I began reading I thought to myself: "Let's see if there's been any development in her writing." I'm aware that you've written loads of other stuff before, but still we were all first time pony writers not too long ago. Then I couldn't come to any quick conclusion and stated: "Probably yes, but The Big Respawn is still my favourite, how 'bout that." But could this be my new favourite? There's the joy of putting such an adamant storyline into a framework of magical ponies -- and succeeding in it as well. The writing also is solid in other areas (excluding the rabid use of ellipses). That's a very nice first chapter. But then there's that mindboggling introspection right at the start of the second. Firstly: it completely turns the narration around to something that's not the first chapter that I just read and liked. Secondly: I could've just gone with "Bucket moves dung. He always looks down." Now I'm afraid we'll get more trivia about the other OGs too! I don't want that! I want to fill in the gaps myself (however, I am aware that this is fanfiction that most people gobble by the dungcartload, and that kind doesn't really want to spend their time with gaps)! The rest is good, not quite sure if the chair-part works, but surely some ice cream will make it better.
I hope this comment makes any sense.

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