TFriendship is Optimal: Somnium
MLP: FiM
Dark
Comedy
Upload into Equestria Online and live forever, they say. But forever is a long time. What *won't* happen if you wait long enough? A somewhat trippy story set in the Optimalverse.
Human
Alt. Universe
Celestia
OC
Balthasar999 · 10k words · 82 15 · 3.7k views
TP-Theory
MLP: FiM
Adventure
Comedy
Random
"You ever unwittingly use a magic letter to Celestia to roll a joint? Well, if you're wondering why I'm like, a girl unicorn now, that was the short version." Will this finally teach Rob not to be such an insufferable hipster?
Human
Celestia
Luna
OC
Balthasar999 · 71k words · 385 22 · 8.5k views
TFriendship is Optimal: The Elements of Truth
MLP: FiM
Comedy
Random
Slice of Life
"So this is the future, then, is it? Everyone's a pony?" A group of friends muddle through as the world slips away into digital Equestria. Set in the Optimalverse.
Human
Alt. Universe
Celestia
OC
Balthasar999 · 14k words · 89 14 · 3.7k views

Jun

13th

2015

Episode One-Hmmm-dred · 11:25pm Jun 13th, 2015

I'm divided. I liked it, but not as much as I'd like to like it, or maybe it's a matter of how critically respectable it might be to like it. The sincerity of the ending graciously offset a lot of the wink-wink-nudge-nudge stuff, which is lucky because MLP is pretty much the only show from which I tolerate that kind of guilelessness. But because it is MLP, namely its own specific show, it was sorta like, a little bit here and there is great, but leave the Doctor and Jeff

Report Balthasar999 · 917 views · #episode 100 #fanon

Slacker emeritus, space cowboy, stardog champion, and all-around Fancy Man. Available for babysitting at $13/hr.
Nobel Prize ~~winner~~ find-on-corpse-er and three-time recipient of the Shriners' honorary "little car ramming you in the shins" award. Can eat an entire pizza without getting all sleepy, usually. Has been to Canada. Twice, if you count dreams.
Darkest secret: Knows all the lyrics to House of Pain's "Jump Around," and actually did wear trucker hats back before they were a thing. Oh, and framing Julius and Ethel Rosenberg for selling nuclear secrets to the Russians. And shooting the Archduke that one time. Also a dragonfly pooped on me once.

Click the DeviantArt widget below to see what I mainly do and why it takes me so fucking long to write anything.

Rainbow Dash is best pony. Also Sunbutt.
無

無
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

I drawed you a picture

Comments ( 88 )

Viewing 84 - 88 of 88

Accurate Balance

Accurate Balance #88 · Aug 12th, 2019 · 5 · ·

Are... are you alright?

Parametric Ponymorphism

Parametric Ponymorphism #87 · Dec 15th, 2018 · 1 · 1 ·

Last seen July 28th.

July is the seventh month of the year. 28 minus 7 is 21. Balthasar999 ends with three nines. 21 minus 9 is 12, which is the number of the next chapter to be released, and also the number of the month of December. Balthasar was one of the biblical magi who brought gifts to the infant Jesus.

All of this taken together can only mean one thing.

~~Half-life 3~~ next chapter confirmed for Christmas release!

Eris Dis Harmonia

Eris Dis Harmonia #86 · Dec 9th, 2018 · 1 · ·

2368675
Hello? Anybody home?

book_burner

book_burner #85 · Dec 28th, 2017 · 5 · ·

2502666
Come back to uuuuuuus!

WideWings

WideWings #84 · Sep 12th, 2017 · 5 · ·

last seen March 28th

Viewing 84 - 88 of 88

I thought these were pretty cool. I dunno.

First Pony View Some dreams you might never want to end… …but what happens when the dream really doesn't? by Suomibrony 232,093 words · 1,545 · 109
27 Ounces 27 Ounces is the story of eight and one half ponies, set within the Conversion Bureau universe. by Chatoyance 80,034 words
The Best of All Possible Worlds The philosopher Voltaire finds himself in the most-frustrating place imaginable: Equestria by McPoodle 136,374 words · 1,859 · 52
Anthropology Lyra is determined to find out the truth behind the mysterious legends of humans. by JasonTheHuman 130,415 words · 8,360 · 170
Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger A mission to investigate a far off world takes an interesting twist. by AdmiralTigerclaw 66,018 words · 6,110 · 89

<<First Pony View>> The best Pony Trip Report. <<27 Ounces>> Cool interweaving drama with great characters, and a unique flavor. Good SF that thoroughly examines its premise. Read the even-better sequel, too. <<The Best of All Possible Worlds>> Voltaire in Equestria? Let's do this. Full of interesting political...stuff and great worldbuilding. <<Anthropology>> Starts a little slow, but a ripping Lyra yarn full of charming scenes. <<Arrow 18 Mission Logs>> Orbiter (unarguably the best game ever) + Ponies!? This time the human is an astronaut and Equestria feels appropriately foreign.

Seriously? OK, I guess there's another one of these.

Mortality Report Celestia writes a report to her queen about what she's learned from living among mortals. by Bad Horse 4,113 words · 1,730 · 28
My Little Stashie A humble parody of My Little Dashie by TheOnly 6,904 words · 895 · 42
Oh to be Old Again What happens when a middle age brony wakes up in the body of a foal? And when no one believes him? by Minalkra 132,600 words · 4,353 · 154
Roots The secret history of the Apple Family. by LittleSallyDigby 10,868 words · 185 · 5

<<Mortality Report>> Smart philosophizin' and character deepenin' <<My Little Stashie>> I BET I COULD KICK YOUR ASS AT PING PONG <<Oh to be Old Again>> Gruff guy ends up in Equestria as a little foal. Oh, there are hijinks. <<Friendship is Optimal: Always Say No>> Powerful and disquieting tale of a man doing the dirty work of an AI Celestia as she finishes uploading the world. <<Roots>> The Apple Family is more than meets the eye.

The faving just don't stop! I mean, goddamn!

Through the Well of Pirene [Now EQD Featured!] A young girl must travel to Equestria to rescue her kid sister from the clutches of a terrible magician. by Ether Echoes 358,069 words · 1,499 · 94
The Monster Below An earth pony seeks to transform himself into an Alicorn, but how far is he willing to go to get what he wants? by Greenback 141,668 words · 1,177 · 40
My Little Marriage : Mary is a Mare Stan has been married to his wife, Mary, for nearly fifteen years. They're happy and live a very normal, almost picturesque life. Sometimes... life has a funny way of pulling a one eighty when you least expect it. by MerlosTheMad 216,808 words · 1,682 · 88
My Little Heartbreak: Heartbroken Anthony didn't have it easy in love. Now he's a pony named HeartBreak. Find out how she'll cope. by Jet_Black1980 49,910 words · 880 · 52
Millennium Wake: Part 1 What happens after a certain pony awakes from a magical slumber after a thousand years? by Chaotic Dreams 112,664 words · 991 · 34

<<Through the Well of Pirene>> A 'fairy tale' about a young woman's adventure in Equestria and its relationship to her past and her little sister - Very erudite and well written. <<The Monster Below>> An earth pony won't accept his station in life and decides to become an alicorn. Attaboy! <<My Little Marriage: Mary is a Mare>> A mother in rural Idaho becomes a pony for some reason. It is entertainly stressful, and a good portrait of a social situation you don't normally see in these stories. <<My Little Heartbreak: Heartbroken>> A man is sent by his sadistic ex-lovers to be a mare in Equestria as punishment for dumping them, and Celestia puts him on a program of reform or she'll wipe his brain. As a fellow cad, I really feel for this guy. <<Millennium Wake>> Rarity is frozen for a thousand years, awakening in a strange and somewhat dystopian Equestria. Reads like a kickass old school JRPG.

Balthasar999

ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW MOM AND DAD
3

Episode One-Hmmm-dred · 11:25pm Jun 13th, 2015

Here's where you judge me by the company I keep.
44

This part is like MySpace. Remember MySpace? No?

I drawed you a picture

I thought these were pretty cool. I dunno.

Seriously? OK, I guess there's another one of these.

The faving just don't stop! I mean, goddamn!

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

Balthasar999

ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW MOM AND DAD 3

Episode One-Hmmm-dred · 11:25pm Jun 13th, 2015

Here's where you judge me by the company I keep.44

This part is like MySpace. Remember MySpace? No?

I drawed you a picture

I thought these were pretty cool. I dunno.

Seriously? OK, I guess there's another one of these.

The faving just don't stop! I mean, goddamn!

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW MOM AND DAD
3

Here's where you judge me by the company I keep.
44