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The world's greatest... eh... I'll get to it later.

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Equestria (Daily), ho! · 7:19pm October 24th

Yes, that's right, I've gone and joined the Dark Side.

No, it's not like you may be thinking. I simply submitted Insecurities to them. And after a bunch of work, it got accepted! Yay! :pinkiehappy:

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Report Shachza · 179 views · Story: Insecurities · #tags #hashtag


I'm pretty sure that bringing a sock full of oranges to a water fight over who gets a wife is grounds for forfeiture.

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Comments ( 132 )
  • Viewing 128 - 132 of 132

Huh. Been in the QnB server for how long and yet I never found you until now.


A sentiment I heartily echo. Good sir, if there is anything I could do to assist in the speed of your next chapter's release, please let me know!

just wondering how To Love a Pony is coming along?:pinkiehappy:

2128117 Well, I do appreciate realistic fantasy art. I was wondering if you are planning on doing a couple scenes in your version of Equestria. Or perhaps, a few of the more dynamic or relaxing scenes in your story. (To Love a Pony)

Addendum: There will be quite a few video posts in this comment. I have put them there as examples to help illustrate my point more effectively. I do not expect you to watch them in their entirety, but just enough to get the jist of what I am trying to convey. I apologize in advance if I come off as pretentious and/or condescending in the following mini-critique. Another note, most of this will be done in a freeform style. So it will be somewhat messy in its presentation. With that said, let the critique proper begin.

A sneak peek would be nice, but that might be spoiling the rest of the chapter.

I can only assume by your slow update schedule that this chapter of yours is proving to be most vexing to complete.

I do have to wonder what might be in store for the story in terms of plot. But perhaps it is best kept under wraps for now.

One thing I am somewhat disappointed in with regards to your story is that you only scratched the surface with revealing Mankind's achievements and wonders. More specifically, the implementation of them into the story with regards to Etherea's reaction to them, and to serve as a contrast to the society from which she hails from in comparison. Be they cultural, technological, historical or otherwise, I believe there was a great opportunity to pay tribute for what we as a species has managed to achieve, as well as paint a vivid display of Etherea's home dimension for us readers to gain a glimpse into. Granted, I know this isn't the primary focus of the story itself. But as a tertiary support element to enhance the story, such a thing could help expand it into something wonderful. To help pave the way in painting the character of the land which Etherea hails from, as well as to reflect upon our own existence as a species.

Take for example in the scene where Etherea was first introduced to the concept of video games. From what can be discerned, her homeland has nothing remotely like it. An opportunity here is to introduce her to further material with regards to the subject. Perhaps, even bring a piece of the technology back with her. A regular old game boy for instance. Or hell, even record a session of a television if her device is capable of it.

Perhaps, even a chance to interact with such a medium.

To lead her on an adventure like none before.

To challenge her in a test of skill.

What purpose would such an exchange server within the context of the story?

There are a number of them. One of which to facilitate a sort of cultural exchange. One of ideas. One of culture.

The other to illustrate just how bloody amazing it is we managed to achieve such a thing in the first place.

All the technological advances, all the infrastructure to build and maintain such things, the very act of interacting with an electronic medium would have been preposterous fifty years ago. (Not counting Tennis for Two.) Going online with such? Another thing entirely. What happens in said medium?

Not to mention, such could be a tribute for what we have managed to achieve since the dawn of human history.

From something as simple as building a mud & tiled hut.

To the International Space Station

For as long as man has existed, we have struggled to eek out a living upon this little mote of dust we call Earth.

But slowly but surely we have risen to become the dominant species on this garden world.

With any luck, perhaps we may even live among the stars. Someday.

With that in mind, I wish for you to keep the following in mind if you were to continue on the route of revealing of what our species has managed to achieve.

The purpose of which is twofold.

The first would be as a tribute and celebration of Mankind's progress that has lead us up to the modern era.
The second to illustrate the society from where Etherea hails from. So much potential to dazzle her with, and reveal intriguing information in turn.

In the past century alone we have managed to achieve or perfect the following technological achievements.

1. Achieve sustain flight in 1903. Then perfected in the 1920s onward.

2. The utilization of electricity.

3. Mass communication via radio, television, and finally the internet.

4. Mass transportation of various sorts, be it car, aircraft, train, or otherwise.

5. Landing on the Moon in 1969.

6. Creation of computers.

7. Some mastery of nuclear power.

And the like.

I would love to see their reactions for what mankind has managed to achieve without the usage of magic. How such would impact Etherea's homeworld. The ripples it would send throughout society. At the same time, I wish to see what they have done in turn without our modern technology. How such could either equal or outperform

Most of all, what could be done if both were to somehow merge in a form of magitech.

Most of this is consideration for the far parts of your story. Perhaps an aftermath of first contact between both worlds. Even though this may not be a primary focus of your story, it would be nice to see how wonderful such technology we have created would be for a native of Etherea's homeworld.

Likewise, what life would be life during first contact and afterwards.

Indeed, our technological achievements are most impressive.

But I would be remiss if I didn't bring up the other end of civilization. Our culture.

Etherea has shown in interest in human society to a great degree. Yet I find your presentation of the exposure of such to be a little lacking in places. What you have now is fine, but there is potentially so much more that could be done.

Personally, I would seen an opportunity to educate Etherea on some of our works. She has shown an interest of what kind of music we could bring to the forefront yes? Then show her. Have her in bask in what mankind has to offer. Such as the following.

And perhaps, introduce her to our other stuff. Perhaps Earth's natural wonders.

Or our daring stunts.

Of course, perhaps such should be nuanced by our more... Undesirable traits and events.

A history of what mankind has wrought, both for good and ill.

My point here is that you had an opportunity to expose us to not only Equestrian sensibilities and commentary with regards to the things we both do and accomplish, but a reflection of the society of where she came from. An exchange of both knowledge and culture. Something that could perhaps still be done. Such as, oh I don't know. Perhaps Etherea sneaking a few choice items from the apartment to take with her? Or gifted to her by Craig? Who knows?

I apologize if this comment is a mess. Just some jumbled thoughts that I wish to bring to the forefront.
I am intensely curious as to the reactions of the inhabitants of Ethel's homeworld to that of humanity, and for what it stands for.
Mostly a fan of first contact type of sci-fi and the like, something I wish to see here if you are so able to provide such.
All the while, I bid you good fortune in present and future times.

Hopefully I did something useful in some way at least. If not, I apologize.

And to think I spent two and a half hours on this comment.

yep I understand how life can treat a person, the good the bade and switching between at a moments notice.

  • Viewing 128 - 132 of 132
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Stalkers and Stalkees

392 members follow Shachza

Shachza follows 35 members

Things I would love to see written.

- Just one story where Celestia is the good pony and post-NMM Luna is a bitch/evil. (It's opposite day up in here!)

- The other side in a "changeling in disguise" romance. IE, told from the view of a pony who finds out their lover isn't who they thought their lover was. (Not strictly necessary to be a changeling - anyone that could shapeshift.)

- A comedic clop written in the style of "The Jabberwocky." (He snickersnacked her bandersnatch...)

- A "Herdfic" with more than one stallion in a single herd with a number of mares.

- A romance pairing Celestia with a Thestral (bat pony).

-A story where Rarity's gem-finding ability drags her to the human's phone/portable device because of the super-rare (for Equestria) gems built in to it. (man-made/rare-earth gems?)

Story Ideas (that I will probably never get around to writing)

Breaking the Twitch [Com] [Cross] [Slice]

Pinkie and Twilight go to Canterlot and enlist Luna's aid in delving in to Pinkie's unique "powers." Celestia accidentally becomes tangled in Pinkie's aura, super-charging and focusing them on the unfortunate Sun princess. Thus begins Celestia's worst day ever as all sorts of random things from across the multiverse begin spawning out of thin air around her.

Fallout Equestria: Broken [Sad] [Dark] [Cross] [Adv]

Set shortly before the rise of the Stable Dweller. One of the Goddess' Children suffers a crippling injury that removes her from the Unity. She finds herself lost, alone, exiled by the Goddess, and surrounded by the wasteland. She must cope with the sudden separation and learn to exist as herself while avoiding those who remember who and what she used to be.

Dark Age of Canterlot [Dark] [Cross] [Adv]

In the time before Equestria proper, when Discord reigned, there were three nations: Midgard, home to the Gryphons and the Diamond Dogs, Albion, the land of Celestia and Luna, and Hibernia. A newly graduated Hibernian Mentalist unicorn, interested in the Flutterponies inhabiting the Bog of Cullen, sets out to investigate them. Unbeknownst to him, interfering with the long-standing rivalry between Hibernia and the Queen of the Flutterponies places him directly in the way of Discord's plans for the world. Will the Dark Age end in greater sadness, or will a new age dawn?

The Week of Nightmares [Dark] [Cross] [Adv] [Hu]

Vaiel, a Salubri on the path of True Faith journeys to India following portents of Gehenna. Met by a suspicious Resplendant Crane and bloodthirsty Devil Tiger, the three bear witness to the battle against the Antediluvian Ravenna in Bangladesh. Ever spiteful, Ravenna desperately seeks to avoid the retribution of a world turned against it by using its reality-bending powers on itself. Vaiel and "friends" are caught in the effect, along with other supernaturals, innocent mortals, and many of the horrors unleashed by the ancient vampire. Now the three must figure out what Ravenna hopes to accomplish before Equestria drowns in blood to feed the Ravnos Eldest.

Her Special Night [Rom]

You and a friend are winding down in Canterlot Palace after one of the worst days you've ever seen of diplomatic bullshit, political posturing, and mindnumbingly boring speeches. While going for a late evening snack before heading to bed you stumble on to one of Celestia's longest-held secrets. Apalled that such a travesty could exist, on this day of all days, you resolve to do something about it. Something to cheer up the Princess.

A Country Pony [Rom] [Alt] [Hu]

Discord breaks free and goes after the one pony who has consistently led to his defeat. Celestia. Flung far from the universe she knows, still in her own body but bereft of her powers, Celestia must learn to accept Discord's parting shot to her. Live a little!

Untitled Mass Effect Crossover [Sad] [Dark] [Cross] [Adv] [Hu]

Fleeing the Proethian extermination, a fleet from one of the vassal races stumbles across an idyllic world: Equestria. The Princesses always knew that there was more out there than just their world - such gifted biotics are not natural, after all. But can anyone, or -pony, survive the Reapers?

Razing the Sun [Rom] [Dark] [Adv] [Hu]

Our protagonist (as yet unnamed) is a former marine sniper. He's served his time and is happily enjoying his new civilian life. When Chrysalis invades Equestria again our protagonist is dragged to Equestria by Celestia, physically forced in to compliance, and tasked to assassinate Chrysalis. Can our protagonist overcome his personal reservations and do what needs to be done to become the hero that Equestria needs him to be? Or have Equestria's enemies finally devised a plan capable of toppling the royal sisters?

Insecurity [Rom] [Slice]

Fleur Lumineux. Daughter of Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. Model. The life of the party.

A mistake leads to an assumption. Agony, no matter how accidental, is real enough. She could never have expected the fallout, but she may be able to fix things.

But will she be allowed?

[As yet untitled] [Dark] [Adv]

(Set in the universe of Luna-tic Scientist's "Days of Wasp and Spider")

It's been several years since Luna's return and for the Celestial princesses the days of their youth are long gone and best forgotten. Yet despite the gulf of years not all has been lost. The impossible has happened; a living relic has been found from the days of the Masters, preserved by the insane vagaries of Discord's magic.

With the find comes the tantalizing hope that of the royal sisters' dreams are also not forever lost. But the price... Can they live with themselves, knowing they won't be the ones who pay it?

[As yet untitled TCB] [Sad] [Dark] [Cross] [Human]

(Based on the universe of redskin122004's "The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum")

Five years ago an army of heroes from Earth and beyond ventured through the shield dividing the unconquered areas of Earth from Equestria. Five years ago a desperate bid for the fate of two worlds drew the Tyrant Queen out. Five years ago Celestia the Mad was brought down.

Those who were at the final battle heard Celestia's last chilling scream but many reports tell of her survival. Most claim she teleported away. Luna has decreed that the Elements worked perfectly and that nopony need fear her sister any longer, nor that any should pursue her.

But two worlds lie in ruins and many aren't so quick to let go. And now Sheer Drop, a pegasus explorer, has found a very familiar golden hoofguard in a remote mountain stream.

[As yet untitled] [Rom] [Com] [Slice] [Human]

(A collaborative idea between myself and Demon Eyes Laharl.)

Calling the Earth Exploratory Directorate. This is [as yet unnamed].

As planned I have landed on the planet dubbed "Haven" and have set up a secure observation post about two days walk from a small settlement of these "ponies." Efforts to observe the natives had been going smoothly for the past three months. However a little over two days ago remote sensors detected a group of these "ponies" approaching. While they seemed a bit lost, they were clearly looking for me. Somehow I had been compromised.

I was presented with a situation with no good solutions when they located my residence. They seemed to take me for some manner of deity and made an... "offering." When I did not immediately present myself they made to turn their offering into a sacrifice. I could not in good conscience let them kill someone on my behalf. I was able to stop them and initiate premature first contact, but I'm now in the possession of a "unicorn pony" who I can only describe as a "sex slave."

Please advise.

All hail our savoir... Queen Chrysalis?! [Dark] [Com] [Adv]

On the outskirts of Equestria, in a small mining town far from the Badlands, the displaced Queen hides. The backwater is one of the last few refuges that have not yet accepted Equestria's anti-changeling measures following the invasion. The Queen needs these ponies, though it enrages her to admit it. For the first time in her life she has to consider the wellbeing of these ponies as much as her own - there is only so much love to go around.

When Diamond Dog raiders cut the town off from the rest of Equestria the ponies find that they need Chrysalis just as much.

...and this is my demon. [Dark] [Adv] [Alt]

There is a cancer eating at the underbelly of Equestria. Ponies disenfranchised with the sister princesses have found themselves foiled at every turn. Now they have gone too far. Trucking with demons never ends well, but it can accomplish so much.

So they use patsies. Abductees are forced to unknowingly perform summoning rituals in the hopes that they will be spared the growing cults' depredations. Another thing these poor souls don't know: the summoning circles are flawed. The demons are free to do as they choose, much to the horror of many an unfortunate patsy.

One such abductee, in an effort to save herself and her brother, manages to attract the attention of an archdemon.

What the cult never considered is that not all demons are after death, destruction, corruption, and eternal servitude. They can get those any time they want. Some just want things that hell denies them.

[As yet untitled story featuring Nyx from Past Sins] [Rom] [Dark] [Adv] [Alt]

The princesses program of carefully released details about the reformation of "Nightmare Moon" has been largely successful and allowed Nyx to follow her dream of attending Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Fate, and the rest of the world, has very different ideas for the young alicorn.

Before things can truly settle the unthinkable happens. An attack from unknown sources leaves Luna in a coma and Celestia missing. Luna's last act before succumbing was to summon and imbue the one other pony who has had experience as a princess.

Nyx never wanted to be Nightmare Moon again, and she's not, but can she get the world to look past her distressingly convenient rise to power long enough let her save Equestria?

The Horse Next Door [Rom] [Slice] [Alt] [Human]

Someone moved into the empty house next door that has been on sale for months. It's been a couple weeks and other than the movers who unloaded quite a bit of stuff under the direction of what looked like a lawyer - who I haven't seen since - nobody has come or gone.

I do hear someone moving about on occasion, not that they make a lot of noise. The lights work. And I know I've seen someone's silhouette moving about. Not that I've really been spying, but it's all just so strange in a small neighborhood as close and quiet as this one.

Today I'm going to see if I can figure out who moved in and meet them. It's the neighborly thing to do, right?

A Soul of Darkness [Dark]

Tirek broke free again. He took his time to plan and to organize. Instead of brazenly trying to face the royal sisters and their allies himself he gradually assembled an army of the power-hungry and the disenfranchised. Those who proved worthy were twisted further into engines of destruction. This time he would see Equestria ground down to nothing beneath him and his, and then revel in dragging out their payment for breaking his earlier plans.

For the past five years the war has turned Equestria into a charnel house. Half the country is under Tirek's control but neither side can gain a decisive victory.

Now Tirek's forces are acting strangely. The pony defenders and their allies wait furtively, wondering what new horror Tirek has concocted.