• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Free Cozy Glow! ...With any purchase over 99 bits.


Can I do a reading of one of your stories?

Absolutely! I just ask you link me to the final result so I can add it to the story's description.

Can I translate one of your stories?

Absolutely! I just ask you link me to the final result so I can add it to the story's description.

Can I draw fanart for your stories?

Absolutely! Nothing brightens my day more than this. I love fanart.

Do you have a Patreon, Ko-fi, PayPal, or anything like that?

Nope. You'll just have to continue paying the low, low, low price of 'free' to enjoy my stories.

Do you have Facebook, Discord, a gaming ID, etc.?

Nope. I don't do social networking and my newest gaming platform is a PS2. This is pretty much the only place to catch me online these days.

I flunked out of the School of Friendship. Wait, no, that was Cozy Glow... Social networking just isn't my thing.

Why do you disable ratings?

It's really just a personal preference on my part. People have different tastes and different talent levels. And while the rating system was usually kind to me before there was an ability to disable them (several of my stories had 100% ratings, and most were in the 90s), I still don't think there should be a 'dislike' button. Just because I dislike something doesn't make it bad, and just because 300 people like it doesn't necessarily make it good (though it does make it popular).

Do you take requests or commissions?

Nope. I've got too many writing projects of my own I need to complete. I have almost as many unfinished/unposted fics as I do completed/posted ones.

What's your Social Security number?

Hold on, I've a card with that number on it somewhere. I just need to remember where I put it...

Does anybody really know what time it is?

25 (or 6) to 4.

Does anybody care?

...But you just asked. :facehoof:

Where do you get all those cool car pictures?

I took them personally.

Best pony?

Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2615665

Worst pony?

*Gasps* There's no such thing as a worst pony!

Best ship?

I never really thought about it. I guess any that are still seaworthy? That generally helps.

Worst ship?

Conversely, I'd have to go with any that sank. Sometimes you get a great song (Edmund Fitzgerald) or popular movie (Titanic) out of it, but usually it's preferable if your ship continues to be buoyant...

Not boats! :facehoof: Shipping!

Oh! In that case, UPS.

Post a picture of yourself!

That's less a question and more a request. Also, no. Due to the ongoing pixel shortage, there just aren't enough to go around to censor out all the ugly.

What do you think about when you're laying in bed at night, looking up at all the stars?

...What happened to the roof?

Where were you on the 24th at 6:35PM?

Hanging out with an airtight alibi.

Are you crazy?

You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.

There's just one more thing...

Sorry, Mr. Columbo, but that's all the time we have tonight. Thanks for stopping by.

Ask Blogs

The characters from the Business Trip series can be asked questions. Click on a cutie mark to be taken to that pony's interview.

Coming soon:


Context is for the weak...and the curious. Instead of what they're saying about my stories, here's what they're saying in my stories.

“What do you know, little sisters are air-droppable at least twice!” -Snow'El, 16

“I shook my booty, yes, yes, yes!” -Razzaroo, upcoming story Every Breath You Take

“I like your car. It’s a really pretty shade of blue.” -Lolligiggle, upcoming story Put A Pegasus In Your Tank

“There’s an ‘x’ on the ground where I told you to dig. Are you digging on the ‘x’ or not? If I go down there, am I going to see my perfectly good ‘x’ still on the ground, completely untouched?” -Frisco, We Built This City

“Yeah, I see where you’re going with this, kiddo. You’re a very naughty little pony.” -Sunset Shimmer, Somepony Saved My Life Tonight

“What in the wide, wide, world of Equestria is rage therapy?” -Twilight Sparkle, Venting

“I find myself in need of a pony of your skills.” -Princess Cadance, The Offer

“That’s not a bottomless pit, that’s an incinerator.” -Rarity, Resisting Temptation

“I feel like in I’m in a bad fanfic during an info dump of exposition.” -Izzy Moonbow, You're The Inspiration

“So this is what it’s like to use my powers for good.” -Cozy Glow, Cozy Glow, Motivational Speaker

“They don’t mess with me because I’m the most dangerous thing in this neighborhood.” -Cozy Glow, If You Could Read My Mind

“Trixie thinks you’d make a nice kumquat.” -Trixie, Trunk-Or-Treat

“Pick a country, Cozy.” -Flitterheart, Heart In Pieces

“Roar! I am the mighty Ceratosaurus nasicornis!” -Petunia Paleo, Filly Cheesesteaks

“I hired five pegasuses. I see about five hundred up there.” -Jim France (CEO and Chairman of NASCAR), Days Without Thunder

“Nopony ought to be all alone on Hearth’s Warming.” -Cloudchaser, Lights

“Presenting Her Grace, Duchess Ploomette of the House of Hurricane, Equestrian Permanent Representative to the United Nations, and Equestrian Consul General of New York City.” -Snowcatcher, Mr. Jones Goes To Equestria

“Herds don’t succeed if everypony wants to go off on their own.” -Snowcatcher, Business Trip

“Nincompoops?” -Grogar, Nothing But The Tooth

“You…rhymed…Electric Light Orchestra…with hello…and it works.” -Nermal (World's Cutest Kitty Cat™), Scrappy's Heaps

“Why is the cat named Snuffles?” -Grogar, Cozy Glow Adopts A Kitten

“Did you deliberately set the fire?” -Star Catcher, Trotting Blackout

“Come on, kid, let’s get you some ice cream.” -Queen Chrysalis, Mother Said

“Oh hay no. You can ‘math’ enough to read this figure to her.” -Flitter, Heatwave

“Wait, I ordered the chef and the waiter complained, but you just ordered the restaurant and he’s bringing it to us?!?” -Rainbow Dash, My Best Friend

“Prepare to eat my dust, lardflank.” -Rainbow Dash, Waiting For A Star To Fall

I've ruined the most perfect stallion in all of Equestria! -Rarity, Owner Of A Lonely Heart

“True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere.” -Princess Luna, A Nice Game Of Chess

"If anypony needs medical attention, please remain still and continue bleeding profusely. Our completely unlicensed doctor will attend to your wounds in order of most blood loss. The more you bleed, the faster you get medical assistance!" -Announcer, Crash And Burn

"Skinny-dipping? How uncouth!" -Rarity, Here I Am

"Give 'em Tartarus, Daisy!" -Big Daddy McColt, Sometimes (We Are All We Got)

"I definitely feel pretty!" -Rainbow Dash, Mama Don't You Cry

"Do I look like the kind of griffin who cares what a princess says or does?" -Gilda, Only Time Will Tell

"And what, precisely, is this monstrosity?" -Ms. Harshwhinny, Pinkie Pie Destroys A Classic Muscle Car Just To Make A Bad Pun

"You know, I liked you better when you were feisty and argumentative." -Tex, The Valley Road

"I was working on something to prove to all of you that rocks can be just as fun as parties." -Maud Pie, Like A Rock

“Kids, don’t try this at home. I’m a trained professional stuntpony.” -Minty, Shake It Up

“Just remember your father and I love you both.” -Pear Butter, Last Kiss

“It’s like Mothra versus Twister.” -Discord, If Wishes Came True

“Was I supposed to be trying to escape? I’m sorry, I was just sitting here quietly.” -Fluttershy, Summer Breeze

“Maybe I need to switch brands of deodorant?” -Minty, Hysteria

“Who said community service need be boring? Why not add just a touch of chaos?” -Discord, Careless Whisper

“It’s a dormant volcano. It should be fine. It’s not like it’s going to erupt tonight.” -Vinyl Scratch, Having A Party

“You are so charmingly naïve, Rainbow. It’s your best quality.” -Rarity, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

"“But that’s the most unspeakable of unspeakables!” -Pinkie Pie, Pie In The Sky

“Yay! I get to play with the Theory of Relativity!” -Pinkie Pie, The Search Is Over

“Look lady, you don’t get t’ have your cake and eat it too. You either get a ghost-free painting that’s a little singed, or possibly a lot singed and probably on fire, or you have an intact painting that’s haunted. Your choice, and since you’re payin’ us by th’ hour please feel free to take your time decidin’.” -Applejack, Every Picture Tells A Story

“Either kill him quieter or get out of my suite. I’m going back to bed.” -Prince Blueblood, Night Shift

“To conquer your fear, the skies you must clear.” -Iron Will, Don't Be Afraid

“This is a restraining order, Rarity. What exactly did you do...?” -Bill Elliott (1988 NASCAR Winston Cup champion), Runnin' On Empty

“I’ll make it twenty percent if you don’t ask questions.” -Fluttershy, Old Habits Die Hard

Comments ( 73 )
  • Viewing 69 - 73 of 73

Thanks for the follow! What caught your attention about me, if you don't mind me asking?

Is discreetly bribing the judge.

Thanks and no there will be wards so it won’t kill him but it will hurt


That seems uncharacteristically cruel and unusual. I'll have to check with the judge.

Mills Lane: I'll allow it.

Does demonically binding the room so he cannot teleport out or heal removing the lethal weapons and letting cozy go ham on him with a bat count as a weapon?


Sounds like you have 5 million reasons! Starlight will be happy to provide you with any weapons of your choice, or feel free to bring your own.

  • Viewing 69 - 73 of 73
Login or register to comment