• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago


Me and my ponies never go out of style. -The Dreamlands


Can I do a reading of one of your stories?

Absolutely! I just ask you link me to the final result so I can add it to the story's description.

Can I translate one of your stories?

Absolutely! I just ask you link me to the final result so I can add it to the story's description.

Can I draw fanart for your stories?

Absolutely! Nothing brightens my day more than this. I love fanart.

Why do you disable ratings?

It's really just a personal preference on my part. People have different tastes and different talent levels. And while the rating system was usually kind to me before there was an ability to disable them (several of my stories had 100% ratings, and most were in the 90s), I still don't think there should be a 'dislike' button. Just because I dislike something doesn't make it bad, and just because something is popular doesn't necessarily make it good.

Do you take requests or commissions?

Nope. I've got too many writing projects of my own I need to complete. I have almost as many unfinished/unposted fics as I do completed/posted ones.

Can I review one of your stories?

Who am I kidding, no one ever asks this, they just do it. The answer, however, is I'd really prefer if you didn't. I can’t stop you, but humbly ask that you respect my wishes.

I write the stories I want to read. I share them because there may be people who might enjoy them too. If you like them, give them a favorite. If you hate them, print them out and line your cat's litterbox or bird's cage with them. I don't recommend using them as toilet paper, but maybe if you print on really soft paper...

But I like your story! I want to tell everyone how great it is!

Thank you, but the answer is still 'no'. I don’t like being the center of attention.

Do you have a Patreon, Ko-fi, PayPal, or anything like that?

Nope. You'll just have to continue paying the low, low, low price of 'free' to enjoy my stories.

If you're looking to support authors, I recommend Estee and Starscribe.

Do you have Facebook, Discord, a gaming ID, etc.?

Nope. I don't do social networking and my newest gaming platform is a PS2. This is pretty much the only place to catch me online these days.

I flunked out of the School of Friendship. Social networking just isn't my thing.

Has anyone ever told you that you're not particularly friendly?

Yes. I've also been told that I'm arrogant and unapproachable.

None of these is particularly accurate. The reality of the situation is I'm an Enneagram Type 5. Social interactions are something I strive to avoid, hence why I have this FAQ I can direct people to. But much like Wind Whistler, I do have emotions and feelings, and try hard to respect the feelings of others.

I'm also very matter-of-fact and I have a bad habit of telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear.

Suffice it to say I prefer to keep to myself. That said, I respond to direct messages and read comments.

Who is this Wind Whistler you speak of?

Go watch some G1 episodes. Sure they have their cutesy moments, but G1 was way more badass* than G4 could ever hope to be.

Don’t believe me? Click here.

*And cheesier. It was the '80s, after all.


Yes. I find they're quite useful when writing. Just like verbs, adjectives, and nouns.

What are your gender pronouns of preference?

He/him/his. Another popular option is to abbreviate my screen name to ADIS.

People are people. I don't bias on grounds of gender, race, identity, orientation, religion, etc. and will do my best to accommodate your preferences.

What's your Social Security number?

Hold on, I've a card with that number on it somewhere. I just need to remember where I put it...

Does anybody really know what time it is?

25 (or 6) to 4.

Does anybody care?

...But you just asked. :facehoof:

Where do you get all those cool car pictures?

I took them personally.

Best pony?

Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2615665

Worst pony?

The Ford "Mustang" Mach-E. This monstrosity is a Mock-er-E to the galloping pony.

Best ship?

I never really thought about it. I guess any that are still seaworthy? That generally helps.

Worst ship?

Conversely, I'd have to go with any that sank. Sometimes you get a great song (Edmund Fitzgerald) or popular movie (Titanic) out of it, but usually it's preferable if your ship continues to be buoyant...

Not boats! :facehoof: Shipping!

Oh! In that case, UPS.

Post a picture of yourself!

That's less a question and more a request. Also, no. Due to the ongoing pixel shortage, there just aren't enough to go around to censor out all the ugly.

What do you think about when you're laying in bed at night, looking up at all the stars?

...What happened to the roof?

Where were you on the 24th at 6:35PM?

Hanging out with an airtight alibi.

Are you crazy?

You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.

There's just one more thing...

Sorry, Mr. Columbo, but that's all the time we have tonight. Thanks for stopping by.


Story Notes: The Layout · 4:52am Yesterday

My contribution to Ponyville CiderFest's Scattered Pages: Tales from the Book of All Stories. More stories from PVCF's 2023 Interactive Storytelling Experience can be found here.

Read More

Ask Blogs

The characters from the Business Trip series can be asked questions. Click on a cutie mark to be taken to that pony's interview.


Context is for the weak...and the curious. Instead of what they're saying about my stories, here's what they're saying in my stories.

“What do you know, little sisters are air-droppable at least twice!” -Snow'El, 16

“How sad. A life without friends seems hardly worth living.” -Flurry Heart, Romancing The Stone

“Autonomous Mustang engaging Cars & Coffee Mode. Active Pedestrian-Targeting System online. Potential targets: many. This is the most joyous day since my build date.” -2008 Ford Mustang GT, Ghost 'Stang

She… uh… she’s um still mooning us. I was going to say cut this from the final print, but if Rook wants to be a cheeky little bugger, we’ll leave it in. -Sir David Attenborough, Life On Equus

“Trixie could not come up with an easier spell if Trixie wrote it in crayon on the walls of Trixie’s mother’s kitchen.” -Trixie, Spellcheck

“You can lead a pony to water, Duchess, but you can’t make her bob for apples.” -Starbeam Twinkle, Costume Contest

“Kiss my rump.” -Cozy Glow, Cozy Glow Goes To TrotCon

“Ear scratches are good and all, but what’s a mare gotta do to get a tummy rub? I’ve been laying here like this for half an hour. This is an open invitation.” -Minty, 3 AM

“You eat like an unattended colt.” -Nurse Sweetheart, Quarantine

“But I used up all my wishes on socks.” -Minty, Minty And The Magic Genie Lamp

“Twilight’s doing her imitation of a bewilderedbeest again.” -Rainbow Dash, Gertie's Equestrian Tour

“I shook my booty, yes, yes, yes!” -Razzaroo, Every Breath You Take

“You’re very vocal for being a figment of my imagination.” -Megan Williams, Therapy Session

“I like your car. It’s a really pretty shade of blue.” -Lolligiggle, Put A Pegasus In Your Tank

“There’s an ‘x’ on the ground where I told you to dig. Are you digging on the ‘x’ or not? If I go down there, am I going to see my perfectly good ‘x’ still on the ground, completely untouched?” -Frisco, We Built This City

“Yeah, I see where you’re going with this, kiddo. You’re a very naughty little pony.” -Sunset Shimmer, Somepony Saved My Life Tonight

“What in the wide, wide, world of Equestria is rage therapy?” -Twilight Sparkle, Venting

“I find myself in need of a pony of your skills.” -Princess Cadance, The Offer

“That’s not a bottomless pit, that’s an incinerator.” -Rarity, Resisting Temptation

“I feel like in I’m in a bad fanfic during an info dump of exposition.” -Izzy Moonbow, You're The Inspiration

“So this is what it’s like to use my powers for good.” -Cozy Glow, Cozy Glow, Motivational Speaker

“They don’t mess with me because I’m the most dangerous thing in this neighborhood.” -Cozy Glow, If You Could Read My Mind

“Trixie thinks you’d make a nice kumquat.” -Trixie, Trunk-Or-Treat

“Pick a country, Cozy.” -Flitterheart, Heart In Pieces

“Roar! I am the mighty Ceratosaurus nasicornis!” -Petunia Paleo, Filly Cheesesteaks

“I hired five pegasuses. I see about five hundred up there.” -Jim France (CEO and Chairman of NASCAR), Days Without Thunder

“Nopony ought to be all alone on Hearth’s Warming.” -Cloudchaser, Lights

“Presenting Her Grace, Duchess Ploomette of the House of Hurricane, Equestrian Permanent Representative to the United Nations, and Equestrian Consul General of New York City.” -Snowcatcher, Mr. Jones Goes To Equestria

“Herds don’t succeed if everypony wants to go off on their own.” -Snowcatcher, Business Trip

“Nincompoops?” -Grogar, Nothing But The Tooth

“You…rhymed…Electric Light Orchestra…with hello…and it works.” -Nermal (World's Cutest Kitty Cat™), Scrappy's Heaps

“Why is the cat named Snuffles?” -Grogar, Cozy Glow Adopts A Kitten

“Did you deliberately set the fire?” -Star Catcher, Trotting Blackout

“Come on, kid, let’s get you some ice cream.” -Queen Chrysalis, Mother Said

“Oh hay no. You can ‘math’ enough to read this figure to her.” -Flitter, Heatwave

“Wait, I ordered the chef and the waiter complained, but you just ordered the restaurant and he’s bringing it to us?!?” -Rainbow Dash, My Best Friend

“Prepare to eat my dust, lardflank.” -Rainbow Dash, Waiting For A Star To Fall

I've ruined the most perfect stallion in all of Equestria! -Rarity, Owner Of A Lonely Heart

“True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere.” -Princess Luna, A Nice Game Of Chess

"If anypony needs medical attention, please remain still and continue bleeding profusely. Our completely unlicensed doctor will attend to your wounds in order of most blood loss. The more you bleed, the faster you get medical assistance!" -Announcer, Crash And Burn

"Skinny-dipping? How uncouth!" -Rarity, Here I Am

"Give 'em Tartarus, Daisy!" -Big Daddy McColt, Sometimes (We Are All We Got)

"I definitely feel pretty!" -Rainbow Dash, Mama Don't You Cry

"Do I look like the kind of griffin who cares what a princess says or does?" -Gilda, Only Time Will Tell

"And what, precisely, is this monstrosity?" -Ms. Harshwhinny, Pinkie Pie Destroys A Classic Muscle Car Just To Make A Bad Pun

"You know, I liked you better when you were feisty and argumentative." -Tex, The Valley Road

"I was working on something to prove to all of you that rocks can be just as fun as parties." -Maud Pie, Like A Rock

“Kids, don’t try this at home. I’m a trained professional stuntpony.” -Minty, Shake It Up

“Just remember your father and I love you both.” -Pear Butter, Last Kiss

“It’s like Mothra versus Twister.” -Discord, If Wishes Came True

“Was I supposed to be trying to escape? I’m sorry, I was just sitting here quietly.” -Fluttershy, Summer Breeze

“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need to blackmail somepony… Or torture them.” -Wysteria, Hysteria

“Who said community service need be boring? Why not add just a touch of chaos?” -Discord, Careless Whisper

“It’s a dormant volcano. It should be fine. It’s not like it’s going to erupt tonight.” -Vinyl Scratch, Having A Party

“You are so charmingly naïve, Rainbow. It’s your best quality.” -Rarity, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

"“But that’s the most unspeakable of unspeakables!” -Pinkie Pie, Pie In The Sky

“Yay! I get to play with the Theory of Relativity!” -Pinkie Pie, The Search Is Over

“Look lady, you don’t get t’ have your cake and eat it too. You either get a ghost-free painting that’s a little singed, or possibly a lot singed and probably on fire, or you have an intact painting that’s haunted. Your choice, and since you’re payin’ us by th’ hour please feel free to take your time decidin’.” -Applejack, Every Picture Tells A Story

“Either kill him quieter or get out of my suite. I’m going back to bed.” -Prince Blueblood, Night Shift

“To conquer your fear, the skies you must clear.” -Iron Will, Don't Be Afraid

“This is a restraining order, Rarity. What exactly did you do...?” -Bill Elliott (1988 NASCAR Winston Cup champion), Runnin' On Empty

“I’ll make it twenty percent if you don’t ask questions.” -Fluttershy, Old Habits Die Hard

Comments ( 96 )
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I'm not sure ponies are really cut out for motorcycles. However, there's one as-yet-to-be-introduced mare in the Car Wash series who has a scooter: https://www.strawberryreef.com/Index/Name/scootersprite.html

I just picked her up at PVCF over the weekend. :pinkiehappy:


WHy do all the mares insist on 4 wheels?

Surely, some of them might feel some kinship or resonance with a TRON or Akira bike.

Or Feathermay wants a Nausicaa Glider.


It was nice to meet you as well! The con was awesome, and I hope to see you again next year!

Hi! Nice to finally meet you over dinner! Enjoy the con!

  • Viewing 92 - 96 of 96
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