Meet The Mares: Lily Blossom · 3:29pm Sep 12th, 2021
There’s only so much that can go into a story, especially one with as many characters as 16 has. So I’m opening the floor to asking these characters questions. Post your reply with any questions you have and Lily Blossom will be happy to answer them (I’ll be editing this blog to add those questions). I’ll be posting the other characters in the coming weeks (up through Snowcatcher; the rest will come after their chapters are posted).
Interview subject #8: Lily Blossom
Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2407677
Cutie mark?
Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2632289
Thanks to Feathermay, I discovered that pony names don’t translate to English quite as well as everyone originally thought. What’s the most direct translation of your name?
She Who Makes the Lilies Bloom With Her Smile.
You were on the very first busload of ponies brought to the consulate the day the portal opened. Is that correct?
Unfortunately. Coming to Earth wasn’t my choice. I really thought Diamond Rose would throw in the towel by now, but it seems I’m going to be stuck here for at least a few more years.
Relationship status?
Single, not looking. I’ll worry about that when I get back to Equestria.
So you’re not planning on staying here on Earth?
Hahahahahahahaha! No. Then again, that’s what I said when Diamond Rose first told me she wanted to come here, and look, here I am. Of course, a lot of zeroes were written on a check to make me come here. That stipend? Chicken feed compared to what Diamond’s father paid me to come here and keep his daughter safe. If that kind of money was offered to me again, I could be persuaded…
Can you redact that? Diamond’s not supposed to know about that. While I’m sure she won’t read any of these interviews aside from her own (repeatedly), the other girls talk. Or she might read this just to find out what I say about her.
Favorite part of living on Earth?
That the hotel’s only a few hours away from the portal. If I can convince Diamond to pay back the stipend and leave early, I can have her through before she has a chance to change her mind.
What’s your favorite song? Specifically, your favorite song that our audience on Earth might know?
I think there’s overlap in Equestria’s music and Earth’s. For example, there’s this artist back home by the name of Superstar who’s been racking up hits for the last fifty years. I’m a big fan of hers. When we were on the bus, coming to Earth, the bus driver played an Air Supply song. Many of us on the bus recognized it as being in the repertoire of a band we have back home called Mare Supply. They sound nearly identical. The lyrics are the main difference, as the rhyming and rhythmic structure are different due to the nuances of the languages.
I did some digging, hoping to find Superstar’s human equivalent, and I did: Karen Carpenter. I was quite disappointed to discover that she's been deceased for nearly forty years. Superstar continued recording albums in Equestria, and it’s sad that there’s no human equivalent.
We’re parallel worlds after all. There are similarities. It makes me wonder if there’s a human version of me out there. If there is, I’d like to meet her. But pony names are different from human names, so I don’t know how I’d go about looking her up. I’ve never done anything famous that would make it obvious.
Favorite TV show?
I enjoy watching football. I don’t really have a team but since most folks in this area support either the New York Giants or the New York Jets, I like seeing them win because it makes everybody around here happy when they do. I’m not sure why they’re called ‘New York’ though, since both teams play in a stadium here in New Jersey. I’m also not sure why, but you’re not really supposed to like both teams. But if one team reaches the playoffs and the other doesn’t, suddenly everyone is rooting for that winning team.
I don’t really care who wins, I just want to see a good game.
How did you get into football of all things?
Metlife Stadium isn’t far from here, and I had a guest who flew into town just to catch a game. His team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, was playing the Jets, and it was hard not to get caught up in his enthusiasm. The Jets won in an upset, so he wasn’t too happy about that.
If you had to pick a team to support, who would it be?
She sighs and pulls a faded Giants cap out of her saddlebags and puts it on. Does that answer your question?
Favorite movie?
The Pink Panther and sequels. The first film and half the sequels/remakes revolve around a giant pink diamond. What I love most about these movies is Diamond Rose hasn’t discovered them yet.
I’m also quite fond of Jurassic Park and the first sequel, The Lost World. The series gets stupider after that.
You’re the first pony I’ve interviewed whose preferences haven’t related in some way, shape, or form to her cutie mark.
Not everything relates back to our marks. We all have our own unique personalities and likes and dislikes. I enjoy watching folks flee in terror from dinosaurs or Godzilla, King Kong, or whatever the monster of the week is. We don’t have movies like that in Equestria… yet.
Do you have a car?
No. The Mareiott’s fleet of Checkers is sufficient for my needs. I’m not staying here. I don’t want to buy things I won’t be taking back to Equestria with me.
What do you miss about Equestria?
My Mom, my friends, my social life.
Emil: What was the favorite food/drink that you discovered on human-Earth?
Doritos. Once I go home I’ll have to ask somepony at the Mareiott to mail some to me in Equestria periodically.
Snowliasion: Favorite colleague oh grumpy foalsitter?
Snowcatcher. Whether intentionally or not, she’s kept Diamond Rose indebted to her, and still controls Diamond’s vote. Several of Diamond’s ideas have been shot down unanimously, with even Diamond’s own vote going against her. Maybe one day she’ll pay back what she owes. When that time comes, I may just have to distract her with a shiny new gadget to buy instead.
So not Diamond Rose?
Bwahahahahaha! Lily fell off her chair at this point and either forgot she had wings, or didn’t have enough time to use them before hitting the ground with a thump. She stopped laughing at this point. No.
Dan: Do you like Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile?
I haven’t seen either of these yet. I’ll queue them up on Diamond’s Netflix account.
Spamotron: Diamond Rose appears to be sincere in her desire to become a better pony. Have you noticed any significant differences in how she acts towards you?
Actually, yes. Things have been going better between us since prom. The problem is the damage has been done. She’s trying to be a better pony, but she’s still taking baby steps.
I’m proud of her for making a go of things on her own, away from her parents and all their money. But I’m still very upset that she dragged me here under false pretenses. I thought I was getting an all-expenses-paid five-year vacation, and instead I’m the one taking care of folks who are on vacation. I thought our relationship had strengthened to the point where we trusted one another and didn’t keep things from one another, but I was wrong. She lied to me, and I’m not happy about it in the least.
But she’s absolutely a better pony than she used to be. She doesn’t boss me around anymore. Working for the Mareiott has been a great thing for her. Now that she’s at the beck and call of our guests, she’s got a much better idea of what it’s like for the horseshoe to be on the other hoof. I’m just ticked off that she dragged me into it too.
Also, she’s still Diamond Rose. Humility’s a nice change of pace for her, but it doesn’t change the fact that she still thinks like a billionaire heiress. It’s why so many of her ideas get shot down by the rest of us. Her idea of what’s important is laughable at best, and frustrating at worst.
I’m bitter because I didn’t want to come to Earth in the first place. Yeah, I’ve been paid handsomely for my troubles, but I can’t really touch that money at the moment. I’m keeping it in reserve, because I never know what Diamond’s going to throw my way next.
Spamotron: Unrelated question has anyone introduced you to the Jeeves and Wooster series yet?
Not yet. I'll look for that on Diamond's Netflix account too.
Emil: How much did you get paid to make this trip?
Diamond's dad offered me 50,000 bits plus expenses. I told him to double it and add a zero to the end... and he did. Without even blinking. So 1,000,000 bits, or about $1,500,000 USD. I didn't think he'd take me up on that offer. The thing to keep in mind is that he really loves his daughter, even if he's too busy/not good at showing it. He considered me the best pony for the position, and I probably could've asked for substantially more and gotten it.
There's a caveat to this, however. It's dependent on my returning Diamond Rose to Equestria safe and sound. As you can imagine, I'm antsy to get back to Equestria. The sooner I get her home, the less I have to worry... because if she doesn't return home safe and sound, he's holding me responsible.
penguincascadia: What human technology would you take back to Equestria if you could?
Hmn, good question. A lot of will be useless the minute I trot through the portal to go home. Without cell towers or a way to charge it, my phone would be nothing more than a paperweight. I'll miss playing music on it, but I've got a record player back home.
Likewise, I'm not getting a car because there's no place to drive it back home. I'm sure if I stay on with the Diamond household, I'll eventually be their chauffeuse as I'll be one of the few ponies with driving experience. And there's no way they won't be one of the first to get a car, especially if Diamond Rose brings hers back with her.
I guess none of it. I won't lie, there are aspects of human tech that I'm going to miss, but in the end, I just don't think it's worth it. I've seen how my coworkers react to it, and I've no doubt that Equestria will soon be covered with cars and cell towers. They’re going to crack the Equestrian market eventually.
Half? Only the Original and Return of the Pink Panther involved the diamond. But then, most of the other sequels were made after Peter Sellers died, patching old footage together and stand-ins, so they aren't really worth watching. Textbook shameless franchise-milking.
Unless you're counting the Steve Martin reboot. The best thing I can say about them is remark on the admirable chutzpah it took to even attempt to fill Sellers' shoes.
Anyway, A Shot in the Dark is by far the best in the series.
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Not quite. Trail of the Pink Panther & Curse of the Pink Panther both feature the diamond, and the remake movies also do. In all, the jewel ultimately appeared in six of the 11 films. (per Wikipedia). Lily's counting the remakes in with the sequels. So the original movie and five of the ten sequels/remakes.
Whatever. Peter Sellers is the real jewel.
I wonder if Diamond and Lilly would like Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile.
Diamond Rose appears to be sincere in her desire to become a better pony. Have you noticed any significant differences in how she acts towards you?
Unrelated question has anyone introduced you to the Jeeves and Wooster series yet?
As usual, Favorite colleague oh grumpy foalsitter?
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Added to & answered in the blog. Thank you as always for the questions!
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"Unrelated question has anyone introduced you to the Jeeves and Wooster series yet?"
Oooh, good question with that one. :D
Time for Lily to work out either a marketing, production, or import deal with Doritos to kick in when she returns!
How much did she get to make this trip? Sounds like a half-mil minimum.
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Thank you for the question! This has been added to the blog (with answer).
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I looked up Jeeves and Wooster and I think Lily would thoroughly enjoy it. Thank you for the tip!
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Oh, you hadn't heard of it before either? I'm glad this came up, then, and I hope you enjoy it too. :)
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Nope! To be honest, every time I post one of these ask blogs/interviews I'm learning about new shows, movies, songs, etc.
I haven't subscribed to a video service provider in years. No cable, no satellite, no Netflix. YouTube is intentionally blocked on my computer, so I only see a blank box when folks embed videos in their replies. I don't even have an antenna to pick up local stations. As hard as this is to believe, I don't watch TV. It really doesn't interest me. The only reason I kept cable was for MLP, and once I found a website that had all the episodes, I cut the cord once and for all.
I don't watch many movies either. Almost all of my pop culture references are to the 1980s. Because I'm answering questions for a diverse cast, I'm doing my best to research more modern (and more likely to be seen on TV/heard on the radio nowadays) programming.
In a way though, this works. The ponies are new to Earth, so of course they're not going to know all of these great programs they should be watching. It's win-win, because I get ideas for things I might like too.
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Oh, sounds like that's a potential added benefit, then. :)
Nope, not actually all that hard to believe, for me, at least. :)
Though I do still use YouTube, myself.
I think I have seen... three movies, in the last ~five years or so? Though one of them, the G4 movie, I watched twice.
Oh, aye, good point; glad that that's doubly working out for you, then. :)
What human technology would you take back to Equestria if you could?
Would you sing Minnie the Moocher with your boss?
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/JeevesAndWooster