E16
MLP: FiM
Slice of Life
Five years ago, sixteen mares founded a hotel in New Jersey called the Mareiott. These are their stories.
Human
Other
AlwaysDressesInStyle · 350k words · 1.4k views

Meet The Mares: Cherry Pie · 2:36am Aug 19th, 2021

There’s only so much that can go into a story, especially one with as many characters as 16 has. So I’m opening the floor to asking these characters questions. Post a reply with any questions you have and Cherry Pie will be happy to answer them (I’ll be editing this blog to add those questions). I’ll be posting the other characters in the coming weeks (up through Snowcatcher; the rest will come after their chapters are posted).

Interview subject #1: Cherry Pie

_{Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/165286}

Cutie mark?

_{Source: https://www.deviantart.com/b3archild/art/Objects-Cherry-Pie-330626339}

Favorite color?

Cherry red.

Favorite song? Specifically, your favorite song that our audience on Earth might know?

Midnight Blue by Lou Gramm.

It first caught my attention because ‘cherry red’ is in the lyrics, but the more I listened to it the more I could relate to it. I’m no angel, either, and soon there will be a day when I’ll be back on my hooves. It’s also much too soon for me to get involved in another business venture, yet here I am.

I would have thought you’d like Cherry Pie by Warrant.

Yuck. This goes beyond ‘I’m named after a song and yes I’ve heard it many, many times before’ level of disgust. That wouldn’t bother me. Do you know what that song’s about? It starts with ‘Dirty, rotten, filthy, stinkin’...’ and somehow manages to go downhill from there. I’m no angel, but even with my low self-esteem I wouldn’t call myself ‘dirty’, ‘filthy’, or ‘stinking’, though I can’t deny that I’m pretty rotten what with all the lying and debt dodging.

Speaking of debts, how much do you owe?

27,511 bits. It was more than that when I left Equestria, but that’s the total after they repossessed everything I still owed money on and then auctioned off my assets.

You were on the very first busload of ponies brought to the consulate the day the portal opened. Is that correct?

Yes.

Relationship status?

People really care about that? I’m single. I was barely out of school when I left Equestria, and I was so career-oriented that I didn’t pay any attention to dating while I was there. Now that I’m on Earth, there aren’t many stallions to catch the eye of. I’ve never even been on a date. I regret that… If only I’d have known I was destined for failure, I would’ve done so many things differently. Hindsight’s 20/20 though.

What about mares then?

What about them? Oh… you mean, like dating them? I never really thought about it. Just because there aren’t any hunky stallions around doesn’t mean I’m instantly going to like mares to compensate for that. I don’t need to be with somepony just for the sake of being in a relationship. Besides, who’d want to get involved with a failure with a dismal credit rating? Of course, Equestria doesn't have credit ratings... yet. Regardless, I need to focus on getting my own life back on track before I can even think about messing somepony else’s up.

How about humans?

I haven’t been here long enough to go native. Ask me again in a few years if I decide to stay here when my five years are up. Now it's my turn to ask all of you a question. Is romance all you humans ever think about?

Of course not! Do you have a car?

Not counting the Mareiott’s fleet of Checkers, I have a 1985 Hyundai Pony* as my personal vehicle. We already discussed my financial difficulties. It was cheap, and it’s called ‘Pony’! That’s all I can really ask for in my price range. It even runs… sometimes.

_{*Note: Canadian export model, legal to import into the USA since it’s more than twenty-five years old. The Pony was never available in the United States, and Hyundai didn’t even sell cars in the USA until 1986.}

Favorite part of living on Earth?

The food. Everything in Equestria is overloaded with sugar. Humans have more developed taste buds and can appreciate things that aren't incredibly sweet.

What do you miss about Equestria?

My friends and family, of course. Taking long trots through the cherry orchard.

_{...My bakery.}

Do you like any TV shows?

Unless it's slow, I'm at the mercy of whatever my guests want to watch. I haven't seen enough of any one show to have a favorite, though I'm not fond of Law & Order or CSI: Crime Scene Investigation...

Dan: I can tie a cherry stem with just the tongue. Can you?

I've never tried. You'll have to show me how to do so!

Snowliasion: Who is your favorite colleague you little outlaw you?

Flitterheart. She's really sweet, but I can tell she's hiding something too. I don’t want ponies asking about my past, so I don’t make it a point to poke my snout where it doesn’t belong. Her secrets are hers to keep.

Emil: What's the bit-to-dollar conversion rate?

One bit is equal to $1.50 American dollars. Equestrian bits are made from solid gold, and the exchange rate is based on the purchasing power of a bit, and not what it would be worth if melted down for its gold content.

If Equestrian bits started flowing across the portal, the international gold market would be flooded and would eventually collapse. Likewise, with diamonds and other fine gems. The various governments on Earth are keen to prevent that from happening. So is Equestria, as that money would be disappearing from their own economy.

That doesn’t stop ponies from smuggling some across the portal. You should see Diamond Rose’s gigantic pink diamond. It cost her a pretty penny to bring that here in bribes. Most ponies just sneak a bit or two in their luggage and claim it must have ‘fallen in while they were packing’ if they get caught with it.

I’m surprised nopony’s asked about the stipend yet. That’s $20,000 (or the equivalent currency if a pony’s headed to a country other than the USA). That comes out to $4,000 a year if you stay the minimum of five years. $4,000 doesn’t go far these days, but that’s the point. It’s enough to give ponies a head start, but not enough to live on for five to seven years.

Spamotron: Do you ever help Plumsweet out in the kitchen? Does that scratch the Cutie Mark itch a little?

We all take turns in the kitchen, though Plumsweet definitely sets the bar high when it comes to desserts. I wish I’d known her back when I still had my bakery. I think the two of us could’ve made it work.

Baking always makes me feel better. We always put a tray of sweets out for our guests every single day, so there’s always baking to be done. Sometimes it’s a tray filled with cookies, other times its brownies or cupcakes. I tried making cherry muffins one time, but they didn’t go over so well with the guests…

Reese: ...Dare I ask what happened with the cherry muffins?

They couldn't compete with Plumsweet's caramel brownies.

Emil: What was the favorite food/drink that you discovered on human-Earth?

I'd have to say Cherry Coca-Cola. Though I'm quite impressed by just how many different things humans have added cherry flavoring to.

penguincascadia: What do you think about human baked goods in grocery stores? How about ones in standalone bakeries?

The baked goods that chain stores sell tend to be bland and overly-sugary. Not nearly as sugary as an average Equestrian dessert, but it seems that 'make it sweeter' to hide the overall lack of taste isn't a concept that's limited to ponies. Though every once in a while I'll be pleasantly surprised when shopping. I'm fonder of the mixes, and while they're technically shortcuts, they allow for the baker to take the dessert in the direction she wants. Much easier to doctor than something that's already been made.

Bakeries are hit and miss. What I'm very thankful for is that humans are open to a wider range of flavors than ponies. I think that comes from being omnivorous. Your diet is more varied, and your taste buds like more variety in your flavors.

penguincascadia: Also, do you help put together continental breakfast for the Mareiott?

Surprisingly, we don't offer a continental breakfast. Keep in mind we only have sixteen rooms, so we're tiny by hotel standards. We sometimes joke that we're a bed & breakfast with delusions of grandeur. Instead, we adapt to the tastes of our guests, and try to tailor a breakfast for each guest using what we have in stock. We always have a variety of cereals around, and with Plumsweet on staff there are always breakfast sweets available too. My own specialty is an absolutely amazing cherry Danish pastry. Just the right amount of tart, and just the right amount of sweet.

Oftentimes, more than one of us will be in the kitchen at once, and we'll help one another out, playing to our own strengths.

penguincascadia: What do you think about human baked goods in grocery stores? How about ones in standalone bakeries?

penguincascadia: Also, do you help put together continental breakfast for the Mareiott?

Oftentimes, more than one of us will be in the kitchen at once, and we'll help one another out, playing to our own strengths.

Thanks to Feathermay, I discovered that pony names don’t translate to English quite as well as everyone originally thought. What’s the most direct translation of your name?

This may be the only time you run into this, but the closest English translation to mine really is Cherry Pie. Most members of my family are named after types of cherry or cherry dishes.

Royale Princess: Have you heard of Pop-Tarts yet? They're tasty, and have a cherry flavor.

I find this to be a common theme in both Earth and Equestria – most cherry-based foods are more sugar than cherry. I prefer tarter cherries, and Pop-Tarts don’t really fit my personal tastes. Diamond Rose is quite fond of their Brown Sugar Cinnamon flavor, and some of the other ponies at the Mareiott have been known to have them from time to time.

Royale Princess: Besides cherry pies, what other cherry flavored treats do you like?

Pretty much any of them, especially if I make them myself. Most cherry products are sweeter than I like, because ponies and humans alike really prefer sugar to cherries. I prefer a nice tart cherry flavor, which often means I need to make my own desserts. But since I do that anyway that’s not a big deal: one for me, one for the guests. One of my favorite things to make for myself are oatmeal cherry cookies – a variation on oatmeal raisin, but with dried cherries instead of raisins.