• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2012
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Me and my ponies never go out of style. -The Dreamlands



'R' and 'E' are right next to one another on keyboards, so I dismissed 'Mareiott' as a typo and booked my hotel room online. It was only after I found a pony waiting for me at the airport that I realized it was, instead, a horrible pun. Now I'm stuck in a horsey hotel for a week while attending a major trade fair on behalf of my employer.

Additional character tags: Snowcatcher, Flitterheart, Sunny Rays, Feathermay, Honeybuzz

Written for Admiral Biscuit's challenge/request for more slice of life fics featuring ponies working on Earth:


Chapters (1)
Comments ( 109 )
Comment posted by stillinbeta deleted Nov 1st, 2019

Eh? Second person? This is written entirely in first person... and the protagonist is pretty obviously male.

“Told you he was good.”

Yep, explicitly stated here

(Comment cross-posting, since I'm not sure where most of the discussion will be.)

There definitely should be more about Snowcatcher and how she ended up there. Since she was valedictorian, she's got to be one of the most talented at a school for the talented. I don't buy that there's nothing she could've done in Equestria- just as there are plenty of Nobel-winning physicists who didn't contribute near as much as Einstein, and plenty of world-class soccer players who aren't Leo Messi. And plenty who make significant contributions who are nowhere near Nobel or world-class.

It seems more likely that she came to Earth because she was running away from something. Nothing illegal, probably. But just something she didn't want to deal with, like family problems. Still, it's hard to see why she's not working at McMurdo Station or something, since her magical skills are so tremendously useful. Even running the hotel with her friends- she's smart enough that there's probably a lot more that they could do in the hospitality field. A ski resort would probably be happy to hire them all as a package deal with each pony drawing a six-figure salary and justifying every penny of it.

Those are minor quibbles though, and I'd gladly read a sequel to this.

It humbly requests a sequel (as opposed to demands) though stands nicely on its own. Well done.

Dan #6 · Nov 1st, 2019 · · ·

Nadine the Chicken. That sounds somehow familiar. (Holy shit, I'm old)

I left out the part where I’d be referring to her as a ‘booth babe to generate traffic’ which I knew he’d approve without a second glance.

I mind automatically started thinking "Dilbert" at this point, and I'm not sure why. :applejackunsure:

...! So that's what it was referring to! I knew that sounded familiar! :pinkiehappy:

No Cheeseburgers In Paradise

When I came to Equestria, they told me
"Equestria is paradise, but you'll have to change your carnivorous deeds.
You'll see no more meat for the rest of your stay.
You'll be living like a bird on sunflower seeds.
Breathing fresh air, and hanging with ponies
At work and at play."
"But at night Luna will send these wonderful dreams.
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettucine, or a sugary treat.
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat."
How can Equestria be Paradise?
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
They're Heaven on Earth with an onion slice,
I'll be particular, I'll be precise
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer.
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer, 'cause
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
You talk to the average Equestrian and
They eat the same food again and again and again.
Warm beer and stale bread,
the taste could gag the dead.
It's all you can get at an Equestrian inn.
It's the same for this human these days
So I'll head for Earth to get what I need.
Not just Havanas and bananas and daiquiris,
But that American creation on which I feed
Equestria may be a Pony paradise.
But I'd suffer any hardship and pay any price
To get one medium rare with mustard'd be nice
But there are no cheeseburgers in Paradise!
Without cheeseburgers, it ain't Paradise!
I'm only human in every virtue and vice
so how can Equestria be Paradise?
I'll be particular, I'll be precise.
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57, and French fried potatoes,
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer
To get a small piece of Paradise
Yeah, a cheeseburger is Paradise!

Jimmy Buffett, eat your heart out.


That was very good. Is it appropriate to ask for another?

This is one of the best replies I've ever read. :rainbowlaugh: I regret that I can only upvote it once.

ayh #13 · Nov 2nd, 2019 · · ·

The Mareiot should demo almost all its rooms and make itself into a business convention center. They'd generate more revenue, not have to deal with kids, and could 'wow' any incoming exec for at least the next five years. And all of them would still be together. Unicorns and pegasi helping with presentations, fresh honey and home cooking, and shuttle services in vintage yellow checkered cabs.

And since its in the suburbs the price would be lower than in city venues while providing presentation support unseen at any major location.

A good weekend conference could easily be a few thousands of dollars and still be cheaper in comparison to a major hotel. And they could ship in decorations from equestria (not gold or gems as I think those would be too regulated) but something tasteful but exotic. They know a human who works in business who is good with massages that they could hire for consulting on what would appeal to business men. He'd be cheap too I bet.

They have a good thing going there. And a few hundred reps from a trade show who are all now eager for such services. So don't just promote Snowcatcher, promote the entire Mareiot experience. Pool their resources and they could go far. Even build up enough income to take a vacation or two. Like say to the artic for civilian expeditions.

Just throwing that out there.

An enjoyable story; thanks!

Granted, it was mostly the usual; three dozen pens, some squeezable stress toys, and assorted other knickknacks plastered with company logos.

And the tri colour highlighters, the fabric frisbees, can't forget the notepads... Once I worked one where the one group was giving out branded USB's with their promotional materials on it, I snagged one of those. Coasters and beer cozies have gone out of style since I started and you never see them anymore unless it's an event for an alcohol company. (Budwiser once kicked me out of a room I was providing security for because I "wasn't trustworthy" Even after I explained that I was the one making sure no one stole their stuff.)

Man, I kind of miss those days. Hotel and events thought I was an amazing guard doing 12-16 hour shifts watching empty rooms without sleeping and without a laptop. (I was just smart and put it away before the day started)

I still remember one of the trade shows for Futureshop, the guy in charge ordered me to watch 3D movies all night. Inhouse came in and tried to bitch me out and I just told them it was "clients orders."

"If you like it so much, why don't you..."

Do they have a book of Mormon in every room like in the real Marriott hotel?

Not gonna lie, I came into this expecting a cheap feelstrip, "oh look, this guy ends up in a mare motel" "aren't equestrians cute, too bad you can't have one." Instead, I got a very interesting look at what an equestrian hotel is like, full immersion into another culture and how they do things. It was cute without being saccharine, but also smart and funny - not an easy combination to pull off. In a mere thirteen-thousand words, you got me hooked on Snowcatcher and wanting more. Bravo. And obligatory, "Please sir, may I have some more?"

-_Ƣ ~ Stay classy.

This was an amazing story and incredibly interesting look at a pony hotel. Can't say more than has already been, they can with relatively ease become much more than simply a cheap hotel. Honestly I'd love to see that happening, specially if it involves their human friend :twilightsmile:

Man, you're really making me wish we had Ponies on Earth. This was a wonderful little story. Bravo!

I second this. I really like all of the characters in this story, and they're a delight to read about together.

How had they not been sued into oblivion by Marriott?

They're just that cute, and Marriott couldn't bring themselves to do something like that to something so adorable? :rainbowlaugh:

I nodded. “Same here. So how in the world did you get into customer service?”

“Lack of other available options. Believe me, this wasn’t my first choice.”

It very rarely ever is. I've worked customer service a few times myself (technically, still am), and I've met very scant few people that actually wanted to be there, and weren't just working there until something better could be arranged.

Most executives enjoyed spending time on the links.

Which I always thought is a bit of a dumb stereotype said executives seem perfectly content in continuing to promote. Why can't they be more interested in something like baseball, soccer, or, if they need something more calm to chat over, archery or table tennis...heck, a riveting game of Frisbee even seems more interesting to me...but then I guess I'm just not a fan of golf. :rainbowlaugh:

I would doubt it, on the grounds that I wouldn't expect any inhabitants from Equestria to even be familiar with what that is. For similar reasons, it wouldn't surprise me if they even have the more customary Bible.

This was a surprising and pleasant read! There wasn't any ulterior motive beyond a man's perspective of his unique business trip and hotel experience. I'm so used to stories, especially 'cuddly' stories, turning to the lewd (which usually turns me off of them, personally), but this stayed innocent and just... nice. Pleasant. Enjoyable and relaxing. Your writing style is really excellent, the characters were easy to relate to, and even though I normally prefer a plot with more conflict/resolution (I would enjoy finding out more about the ponies of this hotel and if they ever find jobs more fitting to their cutie marks), I don't regret reading this because it was just plain pleasant. Thank you for sharing!

'R' and 'E' are right next to one another on keyboards, so I dismissed 'Mareiott' as a typo and booked my hotel room online.

An assumption like that is a really good way to hand your credit card info over to phishers running a fake site out of Vladivostok or someplace else overseas, you know... :twilightoops:

Assume a professionally built website for a major organization isn't going to have typos in the major parts of the site construction--ie, the banner, the navigation menus, the front page, or the URL. Maybe in frequently changed text sections, articles, etc, but that content is also going to be gone over by multiple editors with a fine tooth comb before posting in a lot of cases.

I get it. Story logic. But if I see someone working from bad practices, I say something. Never know, you might save someone's college fund that way! :twilightsmile:

It wasn’t a typo. It was a horrible pun. How had they not been sued into oblivion by Marriott?

A really good question, sir! That's exactly the sort of infringement trademark lawyers have to jump all over if they don't want to lose the rights to their trademark. :derpytongue2:

Maybe they just got bludgeoned into submission with big doe-ey pony eyes turned up to 11?

*reads more*

Yeah, that's definitely trademark law you want to be talking about, not copyright. Similar, but not quite the same thing. :twistnerd: Which is why it's not a matter of worrying about the bad publicity of suing.

With copyright law, you own it, full stop. Someone else using it doesn't change that, it just lets you sue to get whatever monetary profit they made using your IP.

With trademark, if you don't sue to defend it, you can outright lose your rights to the trademark. So trademark lawyers are very keen to jump on that kinda thing. :scootangel:

*finishes reading*

This was really adorable. I hope you write sequels!

Note the deliberate plural there. Sequels! :raritywink:


Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy: I prefer to keep my stories SFW, personally. Granted, usually I write stories with conflicts that need resolutions, but sometimes it's just nice to write happy little slice-of-life fics about happy little ponies.

I've already started working on a sequel. We'll be seeing more of these ponies. :twilightsmile:

Probably one of those MLP "fluff" books they've sold over the years like Journal of The Two Sisters or something like that.

Oooo YAY! I'm delighted to hear it, I look forward to seeing what else the Mareiott ponies will get up to. And I'm a SFW writer as well, always nice to find a fellow one. ^^ Keep up the good work!

This was an utterly lovely read. I adored the world building, all of the fluff, and I really related to Snowcatcher's character conflict with not knowing what to do. It's hard looking for careers and planning for the future. I can't wait for the sequel

Nice. Shame Nadine was likely traumatized.

I enjoyed this slice-of-life - I was certain the protagonist would say "We'll work something out" when Snowcatcher said she'd be interested only if all her friends got jobs, but no :(

Great story :)


Missed opportunity of including hitting pregnant lady's car in driving scene.

The time they spent feels like a really good date. I was expecting he would at least kiss her when saying goodbye. Or at least give her a hearty hug.

A romance story can stay SFW, just skip the clop parts.

Feathermay answered for her, tears in her eyes. “Nadine parmesan.” She hugged the poor chicken to her chest. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she kept whispering to the bird.


“Not really, but you’re the guest. You like this style of food. We cater to our guests.” She sniffed the air and cringed. “Even when they make us go to restaurants that smell like death.”


Every hotel room I've been in had had a Gideon Bible.

Marriott is real Hotel company, named for the Marriott family that owns the company. The Marriotts are a prominent Mormon family, thus in every Marriott hotel room there is a Book Of Mormon. Ponies going to church is a pretty funny mental image.

This is a really good story.

God I loved that falling scene. Not sure why, but I reread it several times.

That's very true, and I've done a few SFW romances. I just didn't see this particular story as a romance. They definitely have some chemistry together, and maybe if they had the opportunity to spend more time with one another something might happen. But sadly, with less than a week of getting to know one another, the 'different species' aspect comes into play, and neither is really thinking of the other in that way. She's the first pony the protagonist has interacted with, and Snowcatcher's only been on Earth a few months herself. They didn't have enough time to build enough of a connection with one another mentally to get over their physical differences.

That's what the sequel is for I hope

I loved this, I really did.
The heart-to-heart talks between Snowcatcher and our stand-in human were well placed and well received.

And I noted how well you were able to not state what the business was or even what industry the trade show was for. Nicely done.

Adding this story to my Top Shelf Bookshelf of excellent stories.

This was very pleasant.

I shall read more of your stuff.

Please write more.

Well I'll be, I never expected this kind of story when I wanted to check what it was.
This is extra nice, no over the top developement, no crazyness, just a plain old enjoyable slice of life, and a protagonist that isn't an over reactive teen.
And no shoehorned drama.
It was excellent.

I normally don't care for this genre, but it was so believably written I thought I had to file expense reports for Snowcatcher today!

Thank you for writing it.

Or Twilight's Friendship Journal.


Ponies going to church is a pretty funny mental image.

That's... an interesting idea for a story.

This was far too good to be a one shot.

Please continue!

There must be a way to integrate the Mareiott into unknowntech's list of preferred new york area accomodations...

Maybe company can open a satellite office in New Jersey For protag to transfer to?

My only complaint is that it ended. This now has to be my favorite story here.:twilightsmile:

This is such a unique story, so wholesome, so sweet, really a story of pure friendship not unlike something that happens in Equestria. Loved it.

I also got a nice tour of the New York City area. :twilightsheepish:

Ponies tend to be creatures of habit, so by being first he’s developed a fiercely loyal clientele.

Thanks! I'll remember this when ponies come to Earth!

I'll be sure to get a pony to open some kind of Equestrian restaurant with me. We'll be swimming in money (after a while)! :pinkiecrazy:

It was likely only a matter of time before ponies opened their own ethnic restaurant in the city.

Hey, that's my idea! :duck:

I was going to miss traveling by unicorn. After teleportation, the concept of sitting in traffic just seems even worse than it used to.

See, that's why I'm going to start a teleportation service! For extra fees, you can access the other uses of unicorn magic, too!

... You know what, I'll start a company that relies on the unique abilities of ponies! Unicorn magic has so many uses, but the nimble, natural flight of pegasi and the deep connection earth ponies have to strength and agriculture should find a good niche as well.

Like, this is a pioneer venture that's sure to succeed! Now if only I had the capital and the ponies...

They might have had several, depending on how many people had recently played "hide the Bible." While that's not something I would do, I do like how the practice of having a bible in each room is falling out of favour. It's being replaced by keeping a stock of multiple religious books to be provided upon request, which does mean fewer Bibles walk out the door¹ or find their way behind dressers, tucked into bedframes etc.

1: Note that it is not possible to steal a Gideon Bible from a hotel: The Gideons actually want people to take them. It does mean that housekeeping has to replace them though.

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