• Member Since 30th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen February 3rd


From the depths of /mlp/, one man decided that he wanted to write. With a sweep of his pen, stories flowed from his hands like liquid gold, and his genius shined. And then there was also Lunaguy.


Salt is a terrible substance. Once a pony starts licking it, they can't stop.
It takes a truly brave soul to leave it behind...

This is an Anonymous in Equestria story. Please demonstrate your ability to read by not pointing it out an infinite number of times in the comment section. Thank you.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 104 )

I can't help but think of those toads that secrete hallucinogens...

Hmm... well, I suppose a sweaty human really IS a giant salt lick. Wondered about salt licks in Equestria before, but never drew connection. Implications *exaggerated inhalation* kinky. Must study further. For... ... science.

Crap. Now I have a new headcannon. Damn you Lunaguy, Now I will forever think of the possibility of becoming a living salt-lick. I'm not sure what to think of this.

god damn it twilight a human just needs his salt fix AND YOU DENY HIM THAT!?!? :twilightangry2::flutterrage::twilightangry2:

Ha! Okay that was kinda funny. I chortled. +1

make more sequels with lulu and celly and other characters!:flutterrage:....i mean...only if you want to :fluttershysad:

Can somebody explain why so many people think that salt makes pony crazy?

A town has been built on the salt trade SOMETIMES THE BUILDING THEMSELVES ARE MADE OF SALT!!!! but seriously humans need salt to live, its like denying them grass saying its weed

Silly ponies. Humans don't get addicted to salt.
That's just like "Don't do water!", "Carbohydrates? Just say NO!" or "Dr Pepper kills". Complete nonsense!

Ah, I remember this from /mlp/. Good stuff.

Humans are already massaugers in many storys, now salt licks? Damn sun.

Humans are already massaugers in many storys, now salt licks? Damn sun.

Anon dear, ponies in clothes aren't silly. Ponies in clothes are sexy! :duck:

As amusing as the story is...

I went and checked what effect salt has on equines...and not only do they need it to survive same as humans, but the intake - excessive or otherwise - has no real effect on them as described here. Excessive salt intake can cause a loss of appetite and loose stool, but it wouldn't have a mental effect. The reason horses go to the salt lick is because they like the taste, same as humans.

...I wonder where the idea that salt was an Equestrian drug came from, anyway?

It was from the Appleoosa episode.

Although it looked more along the lines of making ponies drunk rather than high, remember when you see that one guy get kicked out of the saloon and he has salt on his muzzle?

"Ehh, could I get a glass of water?"

I probably found this story just a tad too hilarious...

Episode 25 season 1 "Over a Barrel". A pony is thrown out of an establishment called the Salt Block, acting rather drunk.
Just a gag spiralling out of control

Damn, beaten by two seconds...

Alright let's do this comment section lightning round GO

Possibly but probably not.
WHY ARE WE YELLING? :pinkiegasp:
Yeah ok Dr. Mordin Solus
No one (human) is safe.
Maybe but again, probably not.
See above.
Aside from what has already been stated, it's a common (and funny) misconception that horses are addicted to salt, much like a drug, because of the way they seem to be irresistibly drawn to salt licks. Salt is actually perfectly healthy AND necessary in the di-
Yeah what this guy says.

I know that salt doesn't actually have this affect on horses, but it wouldn't be entertaining if it didn't, now would it?

And uh, while I'm already here, thanks to Anonymous for the idea for this story. You rock. It was fun to write. :twilightsmile:


But... it's so salty! I mean, er, it's good! Wait. No. Salt is bad. Bad! But this. This is good! I could just lick it up! -uh... read, yeah! Read it all day! :rainbowwild:

I think you may have a problem. :ajbemused:
But that's okay; I'm not here to judge you, just to help you. :fluttershyouch:

Realized halfway through how it sounded and figured I'd go all the way with it. Admit it, though: you'd now like to see a "Mordin in Equestria" fic.

And/or a "Wrex in Equestria".

Alcoholic ponies.

...except with salt instead of alcohol.

Permayhaps it is magical salt?

XD they'd have a field day with my family! We put salt on just about everything, even when it's salty enough to everyone else :P

Sir, you got another follower. You salted my day.

I see what's going on here...salt is delicious but also dangerous...for ponies. For humans, it's totally okay. But if ponies can't indulge in salt all they want, then NOBODY CAN!

In some legends, salt has some kind of anti-magical properties. In a world of magical ponies, who knows what effect it might have?

Equestria is a strange place. Remember, the two Griffons we've seen (compound creatures of predators) have solely eaten vegetarian fare. Now, pretty much every story is existence interprets that as merely polite behaviour, but it might just also be that Equestrian Griffons are actually herbivores.

And ponies get high on salt.

You could say he was A SALT ED.

Really, I'm surprised that pun's not in this fic.

Need more chapturrrrrrresssss.......body cant survive.,,.no salt,,,,,help.....salt ...need.....

fuck alright hold on

2564581 you got featured that is as good a reason that you could get.

I have been used as a living salt lick before (luckily only my hands)

Normally I don't like "Human in Equestria" stories and find second person in one weird and hard to get into. But I actually like this one. It wasn't gut-bustlingly hilarious, but very amusing. It was short enough to avoid dragging on and the second chapter ends at a good place, that really feels like an end and doesn't make it necessary to give it a higher rating.

Also, salt being a drug in Equestria is now my head-canon.

You sure brightened up my day, dear sir. :pinkiehappy:
I smiled the entire time while reading this and it made me even forget about the EqG-trailer... for a few minutes...:ajsleepy:

This was pretty funny. As a fan of Anon stories, this is one of the best I've read in a while.

Hey author.

You need to get rid of the >carrots in the first part and replace the p0ny with a regular pony. This ain't /mlp.

Otherwise, it's pretty dang silly if only sorta decently written. Not the first time I've seen this type of thing mentioned but definitely the first time it's been salt instead of weirdo fucking hormones or ponies liking stinky humans.

Thanks for catching those, which are now both fixed. Transferring from greentext to prose can be a pain in the ass, and I try and catch everything, but I'm not a good proofreader to begin with. :raritydespair:

wow pretty good but one thing It NEEDS MORE CHAPTERS!! but hey its up to you dude!

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