• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


he/him

E

Sprout gets tired of buying new ink cartridges for her printer and decides to plant one to see if she can grow her own.


With a reading by StraightToThePointStudio

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 231 )

Special thanks to Bugsydor, who suggested the name “Terrence,” and Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic for pre-reading!

Inspired by seeing this advert in front of an Office Max just today.

EDIT: People who downvote are in the pocket of BIG PRINTER :trixieshiftright:

Sprout, you just took natural order and trampled it beneath your hooves. :twilightoops:

Huh.


This...


Huh.


I've seen a lot of fanfic in my day, so I'm not sure why printers growing on a vine in the backyard caused such a mental hiccough, but...

Talk about Earth Ponies being Too Good at growing stuff. :rainbowwild:

This... is all kinds of perfect!
Finally an explanation for the dirt cheap printers and the highly expensive cartridges. Thanks, I needed this. :)

shame it didn't grow ink cartridges. i'd LOVE to have an ink-cartridge vine.

now i'm wondering what happens if she plants a hard drive. computers? start with laptops, basic desktops, then gaming comps, then supercomputers?

However Sprout did it, scientists will be all over that vine. Especially if the printers work. The intriguing organic plastics and electronics... the whole thing is probably biodegradable. So much the could be applied even without Earth Pony magic!

I’m reminded of the Lamppost in Narnia. Maybe that’s what Earth Ponies do, revive and join the song of creation. The magic in Equestria Girls, at a minimum, is rooted in music. And it’s called Harmony for a reason. Not to mention we already saw the music in your ghost story...

Well why am I not surprised that this happened. I blame Discord as this just sounds right up his ally.

Earth ponies are OP.

Ah, sort of like the Garfield comic where he thought he could grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground. This is amusing. :rainbowlaugh:

9 comments, zero views. Great tracking!

Pony's gonna pony.

Earth ponies can grow anything. Literally. Anything!:ajsmug:

Can i have Sprout as a neighbor? Printers have many interesting Parts in then - usually a few motors, several sensors, sometimes some nice buttons, metal rods and rubber rollers ...

Just wait until she finds out about seed money. :trollestia:

“Not really.” She leaned back in the seat. “Just some wasted time. What am I going to do with all those printers, though?”

Yard
SALE

10176378
Ask Discord about the natural order sometime :p

10176399
Quoted for truth

10176435
Fortunately, xkcd tells us that being able to magically print money wouldn’t put a dent in the economy.

https://what-if.xkcd.com/23/

The King of cute ponies on Earth slice of life strikes again!
10176423
Could they grow ventilators and surgical masks? The idea reminds me of the (now retconned) Yuuzhan Vong from Star Wars.

10176432
If nothing else, sometimes they have those NEMA motors and some nice shafts and stuff in them, could build a 3D printer from them. (Unless those can be grown too?)
And a big full-featured laser printer *would* be nice to have, especially if it's color and/or wide format.

I wonder what sort of seeds would be needed to grow a plotter with? (And would you need "heritage" printer seeds to grow a daisy-wheel printer? Heh, that sounds like something all the ponies would try to buy just from hearing the name alone... Ooh, I bet with the right seeds you could even grow an old IBM 1403 line printer, one of those would be neat to have...)

Beautiful.
I'm just about to go outside and do some vege gardening for some Lockdown sustenance.

Should I try printer planting, I wonder ?

So that's why printers appear alive and won't do what you told them to do: they are alive, and they won't do what you told them to do 'cause you keep banging them upside the head.

Lesson learned: be nice to your printers. Water them twice a day.

She needs to be careful. I hear printer vines attract beetles. The last thing she wants is a bunch of Volkswagens swarming her garden...

Yet another Admiral Biscuit weirdness fic to add to the library...

I'll bet it sucks minerals out of the soil like crazy.

10176395
"...and that's how I got a sole-author paper in Nature and became the most-cited 'scientist' of the 2020s."

Forget the Gold or Silver standard. Currency should be backed by Toner.

New collectible craze started by Earth ponies: bonsai appliances.

Oh boy, this opens up a lot of possibilities. I'd really like to find out how this can be abused for fun and profit for things other than printers.

Printers are getting cheaper than ink cartridges -- it is thereby logical that a printer plant would have fewer carts than actual printers.

I just spit my beverage out on my monitor from laughing so hard.

Can she grow me a new one?

I saw this in the feature box. I read the the title and the blurb. Then I said to myself, "That's Biscuit, isn't it."

And it turns out I was right.

Well...

Just so long as she doesn't find and plant an AOL CD. That'd be worse than kudzu.

I wonder if you could convince an Earth Pony that bullets are gun seeds.

Reminds me of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. There's an offhand comment about interstellar societies not manufacturing simple things like screwdrivers... Because on some planet somewhere it can be found growing on trees.

I don't think you ever described what Sprout looks like for us.

10176935

Matress Swamp planet?

One of the first things that came to mind was the thought that some companies would be looking to sue the pony who pulled that off.

This was a delightfully silly little short.

10176378

Sprout, you just took natural order and trampled it beneath your hooves. :twilightoops:

That’s the very definition of what it is to be an earth pony.

10176379

I've seen a lot of fanfic in my day, so I'm not sure why printers growing on a vine in the backyard caused such a mental hiccough, but...

Because it’s completely insane? Moreso than a soup pipeline, even?

10176385

Talk about Earth Ponies being Too Good at growing stuff. :rainbowwild:

They’re never too good at growing stuff.

10176387

Finally an explanation for the dirt cheap printers and the highly expensive cartridges. Thanks, I needed this. :)

:heart:
Remember, only one or two seeds per printer (four if you’ve got a color laser printer).

I legit did have friends back in the day who’d just buy a new printer when the ink ran out in theirs, since it was apparently cheaper to buy a new Lexmark than an ink cartridge for a Lexmark.

10176388

shame it didn't grow ink cartridges. i'd LOVE to have an ink-cartridge vine.

We all would, honestly.

now i'm wondering what happens if she plants a hard drive. computers? start with laptops, basic desktops, then gaming comps, then supercomputers?

That might occur to Terrence, too. What would happen if she planted computer parts?

I feel like computers probably would grow on trees.

10176395

However Sprout did it, scientists will be all over that vine. Especially if the printers work. The intriguing organic plastics and electronics... the whole thing is probably biodegradable. So much that could be applied even without Earth Pony magic!

Can you imagine trying to explain to both a botanist and computer scientist together what your process was?

I’m reminded of the Lamppost in Narnia. Maybe that’s what Earth Ponies do, revive and join the song of creation. The magic in Equestria Girls, at a minimum, is rooted in music. And it’s called Harmony for a reason. Not to mention we already saw the music in your ghost story...

It’s the song of the land, and the earth ponies especially can hear it and shape it.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/12/977980.png

10176398

Well why am I not surprised that this happened. I blame Discord as this just sounds right up his ally.

What if the ponies were the ones who accidentally created Discord?

10176405

Ah, sort of like the Garfield comic where he thought he could grow chickens by planting chickens in the ground. This is amusing.

Difference is, Sprout wasn’t entirely wrong . . . she did grow printers.

10176408

9 comments, zero views. Great tracking!

There’s a whole YT video by Tom Scott explaining some of the reasons that live tracking isn’t always accurate.

I dunno if Knighty’s got multiple servers, but I do know that it doesn't update viewcount live, presumably to save bandwidth.

10176435
She will probably be disappointed yet again that she didn't get a tree,. She'll be expecting a money tree, but given that US currency is mostly cotton it would likely grow on a cotton plant.

10176423

Earth ponies can grow anything. Literally. Anything!:ajsmug:

Damn right they can.

10176432

Can i have Sprout as a neighbor? Printers have many interesting Parts in then - usually a few motors, several sensors, sometimes some nice buttons, metal rods and rubber rollers ...

I know, right? Terrence is thinking the wrong way here--the possibilities of growing printers at the very least would yield all sorts of interesting printer parts, likely a bargain at the price. Let her take the ‘seeds’ out for her printer, and use the rest of the printer for something else.

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