• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
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Admiral Biscuit



Saturday was a day to unwind, a day to sleep late, to eat brunch instead of breakfast, go out to the lake, or to invite friends over for a barbeque. Unless the lawnmower was broken and Ms. Bundermann is on the prowl.

Having a unicorn friend doesn’t help fix the lawnmower, but friends of friends can make short work of the lawn. It’s technically not a barbeque if the grill isn’t on, but with a whole herd of ponies nomming the grass and musicals on the boombox, with a selection of drinks to suit everypony’s taste, it’s close enough.

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 175 )

Ah, this tickles the schadenfrude. Lovely story.

Wish I had pony neighbors, instead I just have a broken lawnmower and a lack of experience in fixing anything. Cute story though. 10/10 will probably read again.

I would love this guy as my neighbor! I would also share my music (Weird Al) and let them tromp through my yard as well, if I had a home in the city.

Well, that's amazing. Story notes were awesome, too. :yay:

So... who paid who for the lawn?

ah another cute and cozy admiral biscuit story :twilightsmile:
i've said it before and i'll happily say it again, i love how you write slice-of-life. Makes me feel like I could look outside one day and have a pony neighbor casually eating dandelions or clover out of the lawn. Or a pegasus at the bird feeder snack tube, but that's a different story.

Love this story😁👍🏼👍🏼

Admiral, you've done it again, a short and sweet slice of life.
I would die a happy man if I could have pleasant ponies (or any of my other favorite characters for that matter) as neighbors.

As to Henrietta, we live in an HOA neighborhood, and we used to have a lady just like that (she moved out thank goodness).

A Rainbow of Ponies. That's their new group name, head cannon accepted.

The top half of this story read so much like your "this was my day at the garage" blog posts, that I started the story with the comforting sense of familiarity that you get from sitting down with an old friend. It was nice. :twilightsmile: Then you segued right into "ponies are the friends you didn't know you had" territory. Ho do you make me nostalgic for things I've never experienced?

A Blessing of Unicorns. A Nuicense of Karens. (We spell it wrong just to annoy them)

very short... But it's still made me laugh when they eat the grass.

“You can call me Craig.” Her voice, lilting and musical as befits a unicorn.

:rainbowlaugh: At first glance I thought the unicorn was introducing herself as Craig.

This is the second Karen story I've seen featured in as many days. Not that I'm complaining, but what's up with that?


The lawn came with the house... along with the plentiful gnomes.

Great excuse for a regular party every few weeks in spring and summer. Plentiful drinks, maybe some BBQd veggies since the more regular ‘mowing’ sessions will mean less fresh food and Craig’s place will become a regular pony party central... much to Henrietta’s displeasure.

I was trying to phrase it in an open fashion. Of course the lawn came with the house but who paid who? Was the lawn care paid for or was lunch paid for?

Just an FYI, there are places that let you rent goats to do this for your lawn.

Ah, the joys of an HOA.


Ahhh, I see. I suspect it was an ‘everyone wins’ scenario... Craig gets lawn care and his neighbour and her friends get free dinner, drinks and entertainment... sure Craig has had to supply drinks but, eh, not a bad deal for lawn care and a social Saturday with your new neighbour and her friends.

*a pony hearing a Weird Al song* "How did Cheese Sandwich get on the radio?"
Human: "No, that's Weird Al."
Pony: "Sounds just like Cheese Sandwich. He's one of THE party ponies in Equestria."

.. and a bunch of somewhat nosy neighbours peering over to see what all the fuss is about, and then slyly wondering what would tempt the unicorns into their yard, because their grass isn't getting any shorter.

By tomorrow, Henrietta’s going to be out here with a ruler and if she finds a single blade over six inches, she’s going to call code enforcement on me.”

Is... is that really a thing? Please tell me you just invented this absurd type of person.

Ponies to fescue! :pinkiehappy:

Sadly, no. Houseowner associations and similar are a magnet for petty people who wish to wield their minuscule authority over others with self-righteous zeal.

Heh, nice. :)

Glad I could help with this. (And yes, you can say I did. :derpytongue2:) Delightful little vignette.

this should be Karen gets de-hooved.
i love it and i wood offer my yard as next but right now it is under snow and i am feeding hay to my pony's.

or Karen gets eaten up with the nayghbor solution.

Unfortunately yes. Homeowners associations are breeding grounds for psychopaths.


Wasn't there a story or two about pizza delivery pegasi? Heck, landscaping sounds like a natural job for the ponies. Maybe not eating it all the time, due to nasty chemicals used before they got there, but at least doing many of the same jobs.

And there can never be too many scenes of pegasi swooping in to the back yard for a quick splash after a long day at work during those Summer days. Might get thestrals in the evening too because the lights attract moths and such.

I like the local cops who take a very dim view of repeat nosers wasting their time, so they are very happy to share it in return.:rainbowlaugh:

I love this little slice of wholesome joy. It was a wonderful thing to come home to after a long night of work. It has the right amount of fun, joy, and a dash of zaniness and chaos mixed in for a good laugh.

See I would have done the same as this guy but gotten 2 dozen shot glasses and 2 to 3 bottles of vinaigrette, French/Russian, and Ranch and loaded those into the glasses so if they cared to alter the taste they could. That and sodium is their beer in many ways to it be like jello shots. Still would get the apple juice, lemonade and OJ, cause hey its a garden party you have to be a good host.

There's a reason you're known as the king of slice of life you know? :twilightsmile:

I second this notion.

🤣 if only this could happen I real life! It would be hilarious. 😢 That poor Karen 😈😂

bonus points for getting to thumb the nose at the local busybody.

As cool as it would be to have ponies grazing your lawn into shape, I couldn't help thinking of some of the... complications that they might encounter when dealing with the average lawn. :twilightoops:

"Sir, your dog has a urinary tract infection."
"Uh, yes. We've been treating Max for that since yesterday. How did you know?"
"I'm a vet."
"That doesn't expl–"
"You'll figure it out. By the way, I'd like another beer, please."

Consider yourself fortunate. Grandpa owned a parcel of land he'd inherited from his father and a subdivision grew up on the access road. Idiot Karens that ran the HOA there couldn't get it through their thick skulls that no, he wasn't in their little fiefdom, had zero interest in joining, and could tell them exactly what he thought of them when they tried to make him.


The probability of Weird Al and Cheese Sandwich ending up in a duet would approach 100% within a month of Equus-Earth access.

Pinkie would know how and where. She always does. She knows.

In fact some time ago I saw a respectable film music critic who’s been reviewing film music for more than 25 years saying that he didn’t enjoy Hamilton even one bit. Huh.

yeah, that's why Rarity never eats grass right off the ground. :raritydespair:

(That, and bugs.)

THANK YOU GREAT story to share and brighten people's day with

10671729 Not even an HOA necessarily some towns and cities have rules on the books about yards. Though generally unlike an HOA the city or town gets involved not only is it a fine but some of them will cut it for you at a great rate.. Great for them not you.

10672118 10671729 10672113 Sadly I can see the next HOA meeting banning having ponies cutting your grass

No matter what settings, plots, or characters there are in your stories, you always make everything absolutely enjoyable to read! This is just so wholesome, adorable, and humorous all at the same time and I could never grow tired of your awesome writing! I hope ya didn't mind, but I definitely had to read this beautiful fic of yours!

Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/VAofG36395s

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

rainbow of ponies

Even if that hasn't been a thing before, it is a thing now.

Spending Saturday wathing ponies "mowing" the lawn?
I'd have no problem with that.
Great story, Admiral!

I'll just mention this:

I've heard some real horror stories about bloated ego HOA's. I hope things worked out for your grandpa.

Grandpa was a tough old cuss that took no s**t from anybody. The HOA came out the worst every time they butted heads. In fact, he outlived the HOA.

A few nudges of the radio ensured that it was exactly facing Ms. Bundermann’s patio, because who didn’t enjoy Lin-Manuel Miranda?

Ms. Bundermann, I'd surmise.

All the more reason to turn the volume up another few notches. :rainbowlaugh:


They'd probably try it but within 48 hours there would likely be an antidiscrimination lawsuit served on them by one of many groups who I'm sure would be keeping an eye out for these types of shenanigans.

Another delightful story. Thanks!

The HOA only cares if you don't have money to throw at them to keep them quiet. People get on my family's case all the damn time about our house(And our Neighbor Dave's, good man, funny story about his I'll tell after the rant). But the lot on the other side of the fence? Not a peep. Grass literal feet tall, weeds out the ass, broken down ass house, but the guy literally has government officials in his pocket and money out the wazzoo. Literal rat problem and fire hazard, but nothing we can do about it.


So my neighbor get's his fence graffiti'ed, just lets it sit cause, honestly, nobody really cares since it's on the side yard and he's a bit of as hippy anyways, so he probably dug the street tags on his fence. HOA get's on his case so what he does is he paints the entire fence PURPLE. This also pisses off the HOA, but everybody's like "WE like the purple fence tho" at the meeting, so HOA literally can't do shit without pissing everybody off. Best win ever.

A beer in hand is another good diagnostic step; backyard mechanics on TV never fix anything without a beer in hand.


Such a sweet, enjoyable little story.

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