• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


The king of Slice of Life

T
Source

Talking to someone on the telephone enough and you get an idea of what they look like.

And then you meet them for the first time, and they're not at all what you expected.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 179 )

I think I've fallen in love with an adorable pony who sells auto parts. :heart:

Happy people tend to be attractive right off the top (because happy), so I can see Kat's appeal to Dennis. :twilightsmile: She's cute, chipper, and sharp, especially when teasing him:

“Hey, Kat, it’s Dennis. I’m trying to get lucky, and—”
“Is that what the pizza was about?” :rainbowlaugh:

This story was so deep into your wheelhouse.
Lovely little piece.
And Kat's just adorable.

Pizza: A mighty fuel source to keep the Do'ers of Good on their feet hooves!

nemryn #6 · 1 week ago · · ·

I hesitated for a moment, caught completely by surprise. I hadn’t expected a chipper young woman to answer the phone. They were the unicorns of the automotive world.

Har har har. :ajbemused:

You know what, I find if I get a women's voice on a part line they a majority of the time get everything right. Still I would love it if these two would hit off in a continued universe.

I couldn't help but cringe a little each time I saw a price tag. That brought up some old memories of needing something major fixed on your car, but you're also a college student, so of course you'll be biting the bullet so hard it breaks your jaw. :raritydespair:

Anyway, I enjoyed your characterization of Kat. You let the cover art do the talking when it came to her appearance, and the general banter and conversations were spot-on. I've always heard it from authors how it's better to let someone's voice speak for their character. Now I understand why!

I was kinda of expecting you to pull a bait-and-switch on us and it turning out Dennis (and maybe even his whole shop) was the pony and Kat was the human. To my recollection, there's no mention of hands or any other human body part anywhere that would discount them from being ponies, and I was hoping that was going to be the big twist, seeing as how we were already expecting the actual twist from the cover art and description.

jz1
jz1 #10 · 1 week ago · · ·

I like these short little stories. They’re adorable in the best way possible.

She has a great face for radio went through my mind for just a second and I jammed that thought down far, far away, handed Jayson the parts and turned back to the office.

Oouuuch! That wasn’t terribly nice, Dennis! Really!

So sweet a story ^_^

Reminds me of the time years ago I tried applying for a job at a small parts distributor in an old fuel and maintenance station down the road. Specifically bearings. I think I had half the catalog memorised before they found someone they actually liked, though Im not sure how good they were at the actual job.

Cos I was in my early 20s back then and still trying to work out what this human thing was people kept going on about, I think they wouldve taken Marvin. :twilightoops:

He heard the keyboard clicking, but he didnt hear the keys being pressed? :trixieshiftright:

I'm not a car person, but you always can bring working on a car/truck to life for me

This story is everything I've ever wanted from Biscuit. Loved it.

edit: I really like her mane!

I didn't understand even half of it (too technical), but I still love it!
Kinda want to see a sequel. :)

Loved it. I really hope there is going to be some continuation.

Ah this was sweet I do so love these, just as much as Field Notes.

Ah nice! More PoE stories! I so do miss this genre. It's all ways few and far between, but the better stories imho. Seeing as its not always that HiE 'I want to get away from it all and be in equestria' crap. Was a very good read, but hey most things from you are always a good experience. Keep em coming!

Dan
Dan #20 · 1 week ago · · ·

I think this story gave me a nightmare of my muffler falling off, a month after getting the entire exhaust line replaced.

Seriously, I dreamed that last night.

Having worked in the storage of a Citroën-dealership, this story hit me on a more personal level than most do. So sweet.:twilightsmile:
You won't believe how much dealerships use aftermarket parts to cut costs on repairs and maintanance.:ajbemused:

“I’m almost—$850. Well, $849.82.”

“That’s cheaper than Auto Value.”

“You ought to buy brakes from us, then.”

“Yeah, I ought to.”

:twilightsmile:

This was a really nice story, thanks for writing.

I would joke that I ship them, but I actually could see them becoming friends and hanging out, and that's kinda cool. I always love your stuff.

Further to my previous comment, I wanted to add:

I really liked watching the two characters go from meeting to becoming friends, building up a rapport with each other. Whether that goes to shipping, or firm friendship, or nowhere at all, that was nice to see. Are there any other stories of yours you’d recommend for that angle?

See, this is one of those stories that's so good it practically demands a followup...

This was very calming to read. The pacing was relaxed, the characters were laidback, everything about it really just put me at ease. My father is a truck driver, so maybe that had something to do with it. (And holy crap do you know your part, Biscuit)

I wouldn't mind reading about Sunbeam and Dennis in the future. In fact, I very much welcome it.

That was sweet. :twilightsmile: This needs a follow up into friendship.

This was adorable and I love it. Just that nice, soothing, slice-of-lifey friendship we've all come to associate with this show. It was exactly what I needed today. Thank you.

That was great and believable! what I liked most about this was that it was a slow burn which can be left here or easily followed up. I do want to see more.

This is a very Biscuitian story!

You know what they say about assuming... thought I suppose that's offensive to donkeys.

In any case, lovely little story, and a demonstration of how it doesn't matter if you know how it will end if the journey's an enjoyable one.

That almost felt like a self-insert ya know...
Regardless, another of your nice slice-of-life smile-inducing thing is always nice to read!

There is still a lot of misoginy when it come to more "manual" job. One of my collegues used to work as a car mechanic and she said she had a though time getting respected. And at my current workplace, she is one of the very few girl in the bike shop. Not that we don't have talented or willing girls working here, just that somehow, the place are always given to men...

Alondro #34 · 1 week ago · · 10 ·

Clearly, this is secretly a propaganda piece for the Conversion Bureau, trying to make us believe the ponies are perfect in every way!

THEY'VE BEEN STUDYING US FOR YEARS!! FINDING OUT OUR WEAKNESSES!! WE'VE GOTTA STOP EM!!

*Alondro steals a jet and flies it through the blue light beam in the sky... cuz every movie has one of those now...*
i.imgur.com/50abpso.gif

Every movie is better with a giant blue death beam from the sky! OBSERVE!!

(Mary Poppins uses her umbrella to fend off a giant blue death beam from alien chimney sweeps)

MOVIE... IMPROVED!!

*Michael Bay watches from the shadows* He's brilliant... I must have him!

:pinkiecrazy:

I like your story, and I can totally understand the need to have someone, or some pony on the end of the line with good phone skills.
But something spoke to me that she was hoping that there could have been another pony at the end of that phone as well.

You actually managed to put a bit of tension into this pure slice of life, what with the twist and the hints of 'get off their tails' and 'unicorns of the automotive world' and lack of mentioning anything about hands. I mean even with the cover art, Dennis could just as well also have been a pony. Also good: the hint when he comments on her name alliteration and she answers 'I like it' (I put a lot of thought into it!).

Very enjoyable with an extra helping of Biscuit. Well done.
And yes, of course, more. Like always. :b

I know almost nothing about vehicles, so this was all technobabble for all I know, but I quite enjoyed it without understanding all the technical stuff! I've worked in similar customer service before.

Shipped.

Speaking seriously, would like to see a follow-up or two. I like both of these characters, and this writing style works very well for you.

They were the unicorns of the automotive world.

:raritywink:

I sent a pizza to Tonawanda right around lunchtime, then spent the rest of the afternoon wondering if I might be approaching creepy stalker territory. Or maybe I had already crossed into it.

Hopefully veggie; I have the weirdest hunch Kat might be a herbivore. :twilightsmile:

“Hey, Kat, it’s Dennis. I’m trying to get lucky, and—”

“Is that what the pizza was about?”

:rainbowlaugh:

9033879

I think I've fallen in love with an adorable pony who sells auto parts. :heart:

Who wouldn't? She's cute, and good at looking up parts.

9033943

Happy people tend to be attractive right off the top (because happy), so I can see Kat's appeal to Dennis.

That's a big thing. Throw 'competent' in the mix (which, sadly, is not always the case when dealing with parts houses) and it's already a match made in heaven. And of course those are the people who get the sales; they're the people (or ponies) everyone wants to deal with.

She's cute, chipper, and sharp, especially when teasing him:

She is. There used to be a girl working at one of our suppliers like that--she's who I learned that there were actual parts called muffler bearings, in fact.

9033959

This story was so deep into your wheelhouse.

It really was. For all the automotive stuff, all I had to look up was specific part numbers. :rainbowlaugh:

Heck, I could have even put in the phone numbers of some of our regular suppliers without looking them up.

Lovely little piece.

:heart:

And Kat's just adorable.

She is, isn't she?

9033966

Pizza: A mighty fuel source to keep the Do'ers of Good on their feet hooves!

The best fuel source, really.

9033979
Hey, that's totally a legit expression.
Reddit thread

9033993

You know what, I find if I get a women's voice on a part line they a majority of the time get everything right.

Given the male dominance in the parts world, I can't help but think that odds are if a woman is working a parts counter, it's because she's good.

Still I would love it if these two would hit off in a continued universe.

Well, you know me, I go back to characters I like.

“Girls shouldn’t be working parts counters,” he said. “They just don’t have the mechanical knowledge, or the experience.”

Given what you've mentioned of your boss, am I correct in assuming that this is bit has a bit of Truth In Television Fanfiction to it? :ajsmug: :trollestia: :rainbowlaugh:

Also, I think I'm in love with a cute, sassy unicorn wrench wench... :heart: :rainbowwild: :rainbowlaugh:

9034036

I couldn't help but cringe a little each time I saw a price tag. That brought up some old memories of needing something major fixed on your car, but you're also a college student, so of course you'll be biting the bullet so hard it breaks your jaw. :raritydespair:

That's how I learned the important life lesson of no matter what, you have to have good brakes on your car.

Anyway, I enjoyed your characterization of Kat. You let the cover art do the talking when it came to her appearance, and the general banter and conversations were spot-on. I've always heard it from authors how it's better to let someone's voice speak for their character. Now I understand why!

Thanks!

That is one nice thing about FimFiction (as compared to some other writing websites)--we get the option of coverart, which can help the reader picture the scene or the pony while giving the most skeletal or even non-existent descriptions.

Once upon a time, when I was just a novice, I put painstaking descriptions of all the characters in the scenes where we first met them, and not only did it slow down the story, but it's really unnecessary. A couple physical features here and there is more than enough, and maybe not that. I think in Spring Comes to Snow Hill, I never described a single character's appearance beyond gender, approximate age, and that one of them was pregnant.

9034105

I was kinda of expecting you to pull a bait-and-switch on us and it turning out Dennis (and maybe even his whole shop) was the pony and Kat was the human.

That would have been a twist!

Also, totally something I might do.

To my recollection, there's no mention of hands or any other human body part anywhere that would discount them from being ponies, and I was hoping that was going to be the big twist, seeing as how we were already expecting the actual twist from the cover art and description.

I don't think that there ever was, and there were a few things that might have made someone who was inclined to think so that Dennis at least was a pony, like him needing to stand on a stool to look at the engine of a Ford truck.

9034131

I like these short little stories. They’re adorable in the best way possible.

:heart:

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