• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

E
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She didn’t like cats.

She didn’t have a cat.

Nevertheless, there was a cat. One morning it was there, right on the edge of her front stoop.


Now in Chinese! Translation courtesy of hehelover
Now with a reading by AShadowOfCygnus!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 164 )

In lieu of a blog post:


I was browsing Derpibooru as one does, and came across this adorable image, and from that point one thing led to another and here we are.

It’s true that you don’t own a cat, the cat owns you. If you’ve never had a cat, you won’t understand.


Back in Ye Olden Times, a lot of houses had little doors where the milkman would deliver the bottles of milk, and you’d leave the empties there for him. Probably some of y’all have actually seen houses with those little doors and have no idea what they were for.
pbs.twimg.com/media/DYDA8e7X0AIiDp3.jpg
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My grandpa’s house had one.


Fishmongers of course sell fish, and iceboxes are what people used to use to keep things cold, back before electric refrigerators were invented. Conceptually, it was the same idea as a cooler, except that there was a separate chamber for the ice.

hepcatshaven.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/img_0012.jpg
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Curry combs are stiff brushes used for grooming animal coats. Obviously, one for an equine will typically be larger than one for a cat.

chicksaddlery.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/RC295.JPG
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You have one of those cats too, huh? Ours is about 18 years old, and has survived being run over in the driveway (but he *moves* out of the way now whenever a car starts, so it was educational)

This... This is beautiful. Also, Extremely Accurate.

A lovely little story. It seems to me that she hates the idea of owning any pet more than simply disliking them for what they are. Of course, companionship is a very valuable reward for the effort put in, but to each their own, I suppose.

I feel like you should have mentioned reptiles. Small snakes, lizards, and turtles can be a lot of fun to own and care for. :twilightsmile:

9048382
That's what the first Life is FOR. Education.

My ex-wife's mother end up with a squirrel through this exact method. :facehoof:

until he’d filled out all the way and his was glossy and shiny and silky.

his fur was glossy

Silver Glow's Animal Categories
Birds: hawky birds, chirpy birds, ducky birds
Dogs: yappy dogs, barky dogs
Cats: hissy cats, purry cats
Fish: yummy fish

Spot-on summation of cats. And of the people who fall under their evil magical spells! :heart:

I used to have a book very similar to this when I was small, called The Very Best Christmas Present.

Such a fun little story to read. Always nice to read slice of life.

My cats have always been rescues, and it funny, I have felt my name and address was on some sort of cats crags listing.

I have never picked out a cat, they have found me, and just expected to move in, and most of the time have been very nice, and I can totally believe that one was clever enough to find itself a nice spot in a house with someone who have said they don't like cats.

Cat is as cat does.

So I take it one of those wild kitten you complained about wormed his way into your life. :trollestia:

At least she isn't allergic to cats. I have known more then a few cats that have latched onto a person who is allergic to them.

If she’d lived out in the country, she’d’ve had a dog.

Ah, the daring double-contraction, so rarely seen in the wild.

Write more for us, AB, write about us like you write for your French girls.

This man has cats.

Actually, not all cats swipe when you pet their belly, at least not right away. Some love it (mine does!), some hate it and they're just lying around more than anything, some let you pet a certain number of times and THEN they tell you off. They don't quite understand we're not other cats, so they just treat us like big cats who overstep sometimes, and expect us to Get the Point. But people don't get the point, so they get Mad and really go after you.

Thing is, science screwed up at first and based all their research on the wrong branch of Small Wild Cats. Our pet cats are descended from the African branch's literal African Wild Cat, not the European branch with lynxes. So they hang out together and are fairly social, tend to bring kills home, and they purr. No word on if they do the blelelele thing when scratched, though.

Also, behold! One healthy looking adult.
catsg.org/typo3temp/pics/bce312a546.jpg

9048469
That's how I got my first cat. She just turned up one day, and she was kind of prone to biting and latching onto your leg at first. Eventually though, I became her favorite. She was a surprisingly sweet cat after a while, and mostly stopped being a wild cat.

She left the way she arrived; suddenly and with no explanation. This story reminded me of her, and by extension, my other pets I've had. Thank you.

9048360

Probably some of y’all have actually seen houses with those little doors and have no idea what they were for.

Nope, sorry. I knew. What I don't know is how common was it to have those doors both the inside and outside of the house. Because I would assume it was uncommon but every single one of the houses with them (aside from the ones that filled it with cement or bricks) had the ability to get the milk without having to go outside.

This is a proper way to get a cat :rainbowlaugh:

Back then, when I still lived with my parents, we had several cats over the years. I think we *never* needed to buy one of those. Either we got kittens for free or they just "moved in" :-)

Nothing negative from me Cute lil story that deserves all the praise.
Keep up the amazing work.

a vary good and sweet little story.

Either she has a cat, or the cat has a pony, but either way it's time for *scritches*

You simply found the right cat miss unicorn.

Essentially how my sister has gotten her cats, though less reluctant in her case. Lovely little slice of life.

This fic is a tiny bundle of heartwarming perfection. :heart:

You may know this but there were some ice boxes that had a door on the back for the ice man to put ice in. It was on the back and faced the window or a small door on the outside of house. The ice delivery was made outside of the house. They're called 'jealous husband ice boxes'. I have an old one. Just a little piece of history.
Great story, Biscuit. I have two horses and two goats and a cat that I got the same way.

I think I remember some report that there were more cat owners in the country than there were cats, so some of the cats were in fact sharing themselves out between multiple owners and helping all of them dispose of any unused food. Very charitable of them.

And so, this cat had a pony that doesn't like cats.

She clearly loves them.

lots of "I don't own a cat moments'

loved this... i was hooked after the first couple paragraphs.

This was a beautiful story. Great work.

What a sweet story.

So great.

9048382

You have one of those cats too, huh?

I don’t, actually. One of them tried, but I was made of sterner stuff than our protagonist and evicted him. If he’d been respectful I might have been respectful back, but he just let himself in and started eating garbage and I wasn’t going to have that.

And yes, it was a cat and not a raccoon.

Ours is about 18 years old, and has survived being run over in the driveway (but he *moves* out of the way now whenever a car starts, so it was educational)

The feral that lived on my property that I occasionally fed . . . no idea how old she was, but it was probably pretty old. She was around for something like eight years after I moved in, and the neighbors had full-grown cats that had been her kittens.

9048386

This... This is beautiful. Also, Extremely Accurate.

Cats, I think, are the best at following people (or ponies) home and adopting them.

9048393

A lovely little story. It seems to me that she hates the idea of owning any pet more than simply disliking them for what they are. Of course, companionship is a very valuable reward for the effort put in, but to each their own, I suppose.

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much” (which would have been the title of the blog post if I’d done one). Yeah, she can think of lots of reasons to not want a pet, but when the right one shows up and melts her heart . . .

I feel like you should have mentioned reptiles. Small snakes, lizards, and turtles can be a lot of fun to own and care for. :twilightsmile:

I did think about that, but I felt that in general that’s not a pet that would occur to most ponies. And yes, I do realize that Pinkie has Gummy and Rainbow has Tank, but they’re both weird (the ponies not the pets). :rainbowlaugh:

When I lived in Kalamazoo, we had a pet slug for a while. She was pretty cool. Didn’t do much, of course, since she was a slug.

9048406

My ex-wife's mother end up with a squirrel through this exact method. :facehoof:

I’m not sure that I’d want a pet squirrel (although I know some people that really want sugar gliders, and that’s kinda the same thing).

9048409

his fur was glossy

Correction made; thank you!

Silver Glow's Animal Categories
Birds: hawky birds, chirpy birds, ducky birds
Dogs: yappy dogs, barky dogs
Cats: hissy cats, purry cats
Fish: yummy fish

I would say that’s pretty accurate. Although you did forget “fish that should feel bad because they weren’t yummy.”

9048428

Spot-on summation of cats. And of the people who fall under their evil magical spells! :heart:

:heart:

9048438

I used to have a book very similar to this when I was small, called The Very Best Christmas Present.

I never had that particular book, at least not as far as I can remember.

As I recall, there was at least one James Harriot story much like that, where a big gruff farmer complaining all the time about how he hates the cat was spotted with it asleep on his lap or something like that (James Harriot told the story much better than I just did :derpytongue2:).

9048440

Such a fun little story to read. Always nice to read slice of life.

Thank you!

Adorable, simply adorable.

9048469

My cats have always been rescues, and it funny, I have felt my name and address was on some sort of cats crags listing.

I have never picked out a cat, they have found me, and just expected to move in, and most of the time have been very nice, and I can totally believe that one was clever enough to find itself a nice spot in a house with someone who have said they don't like cats.

Cats know, man. Cats talk, and once they’ve got a chink in your armor, that’s it; it’s all over.

9048521

So I take it one of those wild kitten you complained about wormed his way into your life. :trollestia:

No, thank heavens. I’m perfectly happy to have a cat-free house.

Perfectly happy.

9048536

At least she isn't allergic to cats. I have known more then a few cats that have latched onto a person who is allergic to them.

I know all about that. I am allergic to cats, and every time I go somewhere with cats, one of them instantly becomes my BFF and doesn’t want to leave me alone until I’m ready to gouge out my own eyeballs.

9048541

Ah, the daring double-contraction, so rarely seen in the wild.

Which is a real shame, since it’s such a beautiful bit of English.

Write more for us, AB, write about us like you write for your French girls.

Um . . . Se hie in hert fan izer en in stim as in reagerel?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/12/18/787631__safe_artist-colon-teammagix_oc_oc-colon-glistening+ray_oc-colon-golden+seastone_oc-colon-oddette_oc+only_mermaid_merpony.jpeg
With apologies to MeatLoaf.

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