• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
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Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

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For a filly, a trip to Vanhoover brings with it the promise of visiting a toy store, museums, and a hotel room five stories up.

Sea Swirl would never had imagined the voyage there would make her fall in love with the water and what lies beneath.


Written for Quills and Sofas’ 100th contest.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 55 )

Seriously, I said it before and will again, this fic is well themed, well adherent to that theme in the young yet boundless mind of the narrator, and the character at the center of it is surprisingly well established in the first five hundred words.

Is it weird that this is my favorite part, just before the ending?

There were days of book-learning and spellcraft and theory before we were even allowed in the water; then there were practice pools to swim in and a hyperbaric chamber that we got to sit in to understand pressure, and we had to learn what every piece of equipment was for and how it worked and then one day we got to put all the equipment on, only to have to take it off again without even getting wet.

A couple of days later, we started practicing in an abandoned quarry, just to get used to the equipment. I didn’t like putting the bronze helmet over my head, I didn’t like getting winched down in the water, I didn’t like how heavy the boots and weights made me, I didn’t like the oily smell of the compressed air, and I hadn’t expected how much sediment I’d kick up every time I moved, practically blinding myself.

Something that shows that, even for all the interest in exploring the ocean, reality still nearly makes so ambitious a pony turn away? Just before the wave crests and they do go in and they find it to their liking?

Because it is. Showing in so few words, the inner conflict to a dream is something that few authors in, or writing about Friendship is Magic, ever do so succinctly.

And that moment, above all else, is what makes me congratulate you once again for a fantastic FIMFic.

Dan

Going to Whinnyapolis was a good choice. Swimming in salt water is for sissies.

This is a wonderful little story! I enjoyed learning about Sea Swirl's background and her fascination with sea life. Her ambition and drive really showed through in her pursuit of her dream. And like Vis-a-Versea said, showing her doubt her herself and then have that moment of clarity. I think we've all experienced that at some point and she her face that moment really sold me on her character and made this tale very relatable. Great work, Biscuit!

we started practicing in an abandoned quarry, just to get used to the equipment.

That brings back happy summer-time memories of going quarry diving and fresh water spring diving with my da.

Very nice bit of Slice of Life. I don't think I'll ever get tired of well-written takes of ponies finding their cutiemarks.

Wait, you wrote this in one hour?

Why'd you only make this story one chapter long?

I bet that dolphins in this world would make perfect life guards.

Incredibly cute backstory that hits home so swimmingly.

10365143
The original version ... this is the longer, improved version.

I’d never been to Vanhoofer Vanhoover before, and the memory of the dolphins faded

10365230
Ah, that makes much more sense. I mean, I can barely reach 500 words in an hour.

I'm glad to see more fanfics about Sea Swirl. I hope she gets a tag.

I always did like Sea Swirl, even have a plush of her.

About dolphins though, the one in the story was super nice, but dolphins have a very, very dark side to them as well..

10365958
Well, this is Equestria. Everything here is more forgiving.

10364824

Is this a prequel to The Trek to Ice Cream Rock?

Arguably, yes.

I suppose I could have tagged it as such.


EDIT: and now I have

10364892

Going to Whinnyapolis was a good choice. Swimming in salt water is for sissies.

It wasn’t a random choice, either. While I was under time constraints for the contest and didn’t have time to do full research, googling ‘best dive schools’ give me a list which included the Minnesota Comercial Diver Training Center, located in Brainerd (which I know isn’t Minneapolis, but I didn’t have time to come up with a ponification). They train in the Cuyuna Mine Pits and the Mississippi, and they do have a hyperbaric chamber; they also teach decompression tables and procedures, and we all know in a later story, Sea Swirl is very aware of decompression stops and the dangers of skipping them.

10364901

This is a wonderful little story! I enjoyed learning about Sea Swirl's background and her fascination with sea life. Her ambition and drive really showed through in her pursuit of her dream.

Thank you!

And like Vis-a-Versea said, showing her doubt her herself and then have that moment of clarity. I think we've all experienced that at some point and she her face that moment really sold me on her character and made this tale very relatable. Great work, Biscuit!

We have all had that moment, I think. I’ve had it a few times--heck every time I step out on stage for a performance, I wonder what I’m doing and why I’m there.

10364955

That brings back happy summer-time memories of going quarry diving and fresh water spring diving with my da.

I’ve personally never gone deeper than about ten feet. Even then, swimming along near the sandy bottom of one of the Great Lakes for as long as I can before having to surface, or when I was younger, trying to find the diving dock by swimming there underwater . . . .

10365058
Thank you! :heart: I’m happy to keep providing them every now and again.

10365154
Well, first because I only had an hour to write it, and then for the edited version (which contains two major new sections and running corrections/improvements throughout) ‘cause I wanted to keep it as close in spirit while completing it.

There are two other stories of mine of Sea Swirl diving--The Trek to Ice Cream Rock and Sea Swirl’s Dive.

10365162

I bet that dolphins in this world would make perfect life guards.

They probably would . . . and if you’re farther out to sea, merponies <--shameless self-promotion.

10365167
Thank you! It seemed right for her. :heart:

10365268
Correction made, thank you!

One of the readers in the contest caught that, and I thought I’d fixed them all, but one slipped by.

10365349

Ah, that makes much more sense. I mean, I can barely reach 500 words in an hour.

I can hit over 2,000 if all conditions are right, but tend to average between 500-1000 words/hour for finished-quality work (depends a lot on what it is, and how familiar I am with the characters and setting).

10365507
I’m really bummed that she doesn’t have one. She’s been around in the show for a long time, she’s a popular character--there’s no good reason why she shouldn’t have a tag. She’s been around since the very first episode.

<shakes fist>
Dammit, Knighty.

10365958

I always did like Sea Swirl, even have a plush of her.

She’s a cute pony.

About dolphins though, the one in the story was super nice, but dolphins have a very, very dark side to them as well..

Yes, they certainly do. I thought about mentioning that in the blog post, but didn’t.

10366320

Well, this is Equestria. Everything here is more forgiving.

Most everything.

10366895
I’ve written about Sea Swirl a few times. I’m not happy with any of those fanfics, but still. Do you think we could encourage people to write more Sea Swirl stories, like RainbowDoubleDash did with Raindrops?

10366933
lol

I haven’t watched that show for years.

10367186

I’ve written about Sea Swirl a few times. I’m not happy with any of those fanfics, but still. Do you think we could encourage people to write more Sea Swirl stories, like RainbowDoubleDash did with Raindrops?

I dunno if either of us would have much influence over that . . . as I’m sure you know, there is a Sea Swirl group that’s been around since 2013, although they don’t seem to have a lot of stories.

Dan

She should volunteer to help Pinkie set up for Parties. Balloon blowing is great training for the lungs and blood oxygen. Particularly strong, larger ones like the professional grade 32-36 inchers.

Or, she takes up Didgeridoo... and then gets banned from practicing within city limits. So she takes it to the edge of the forest, only for Zecora to chase her off with eloquent, vulgar rhymed couplets.

10368596

She should volunteer to help Pinkie set up for Parties. Balloon blowing is great training for the lungs and blood oxygen. Particularly strong, larger ones like the professional grade 32-36 inchers.

That’s actually not a bad idea--that would get her lungs in shape, and of course contribute to parties, so it’s a win-win. :heart:

Or, she takes up Didgeridoo... and then gets banned from practicing within city limits. So she takes it to the edge of the forest, only for Zecora to chase her off with eloquent, vulgar rhymed couplets.

I feel like Zecora would sing along, rather than chase her off. Didgeridoo is a fantastic instrument.

Also, turns out that there are didgeridoo ponies on Derpi.
derpicdn.net/img/2019/10/13/2167204/large.png

I was so excited when I was found this story; Sea Swirl is one of my favorite characters and she hardly gets any attention! This was a great interpretation of her backstory!

I know I'll be writing a story with Sea Swirl eventually.

Dan

10370086
Maybe. I still want to hear Zecora talk dirty. She's always had one of the sexiest voices in a show full of sexy voices.

10370154

Maybe. I still want to hear Zecora talk dirty. She's always had one of the sexiest voices in a show full of sexy voices.

Best I can come up with is Brenda Crichlow in an Admiral Biscuit shirt.

10370087

I was so excited when I was found this story; Sea Swirl is one of my favorite characters and she hardly gets any attention! This was a great interpretation of her backstory!

Thank you! Sea Swirl is a great pony!

I’ve got two other stories with her diving in them, if you’re interested :heart:

I know I'll be writing a story with Sea Swirl eventually.

Let me know when you do!

10370165
I'll definitely read those stories eventually, and yes, I will make sure to notify you whenever the story comes out! Just need to find some way to remind myself.

10364853

Seriously, I said it before and will again, this fic is well themed, well adherent to that theme in the young yet boundless mind of the narrator, and the character at the center of it is surprisingly well established in the first five hundred words.

Thank you!

Is it weird that this is my favorite part, just before the ending?
Because it is. Showing in so few words, the inner conflict to a dream is something that few authors in, or writing about Friendship is Magic, ever do so succinctly.

It isn’t weird, because I think it’s a very human thing to be doing something we’ve been looking forward to, something that we think might be our destiny, and then to wonder when we’ve grasped it if we were right. I know I’ve felt that when I’ve stepped out on stage in front of an audience before; I’ve felt it at a job; I’ve even felt and still do sometimes when I hit the ‘publish’ button and then wait for comments and/or upvotes (or downvotes) to come rolling in. And how much more intense might that feeling be if your dream was on your flanks for all the world to see?

And that moment, above all else, is what makes me congratulate you once again for a fantastic FIMFic.

Thank you! :heart:

Dan

10370086
Sadly, one of the top webstores for balloon aficionados is closing down, so if you want to snag a few discounted 36-inch crystal color longnecks for some lung exercise and/or extended birthday partying, get 'em before they're liquidated.

https://balloons-united.com/en/product/cattex-longneck-balloon-36inch-90cm-crystal/

It's rather heartbreaking. Balloons-united has been a fixture with cofounder Maggy Berloon (so nicknamed because she's from Berlin) giving frank, unashamed interviews and blogs about what balloons mean to her.
looners-united.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/balloons-united-slider-free-balloons-de-1030x515.jpg

10370318

Sadly, one of the top webstores for balloon aficionados is closing down, so if you want to snag a few discounted 36-inch crystal color longnecks for some lung exercise and/or extended birthday partying, get 'em before they're liquidated.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know that balloon aficionados were a thing until just now. :heart: I’m not personally a balloon person, I’m afraid.

It's rather heartbreaking. Balloons-united has been a fixture with cofounder Maggy Berloon (so nicknamed because she's from Berlin) giving frank, unashamed interviews and blogs about what balloons mean to her.

That is too bad :fluttercry:

Dan

10371695
Surely you don't think Pinkie gets hers at dollar stores or Target, or even Party City?
derpicdn.net/img/2018/8/3/1796859/large.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/8/6/1799471.gif
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/8/4/1798129.png

Party City's in-house brands Amscan and Designware are rather flimsy. They're nicely soft and squeezable, but not up to anything rough like sitting and bouncing.
https://derpibooru.org/images/474755

10371746

Surely you don't think Pinkie gets hers at dollar stores or Target, or even Party City?

Honestly, it’s Pinkie Pie, and it’s canon that she sneezes confetti, at least . . . so her just having good-quality balloons materialize on an as-needed basis isn’t outside the bounds of possibility . . .

Party City's in-house brands Amscan and Designware are rather flimsy. They're nicely soft and squeezable, but not up to anything rough like sitting and bouncing.

derpicdn.net/img/2020/6/8/2368893/large.png
Or trustworthy enough to float a mare aloft.

Good to see some Sea Swirl again. I really like your X gets her cutie Mark stories, and this one is no exception. Have green thumb 100.

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