Meet The Mares: Ploomette · 4:21pm Sep 19th, 2021
There’s only so much that can go into a story, especially one with as many characters as 16 has. So I’m opening the floor to asking these characters questions. Post your reply with any questions you have and Ploomette will be happy to answer them (I’ll be editing this blog to add those questions). I’ll be posting the other characters in the coming weeks (up through Snowcatcher; the rest will come after their chapters are posted).
Interview subject #10: Ploomette
Source: https://derpibooru.org/images/2684499
Cutie mark?
Source: https://www.deviantart.com/liggliluff/art/Cutie-Mark-Ploomette-288035280
How should I address you?
‘Your Grace’ is the preferred term for a duchess. I’m not really all that bothered by titles and formalities, but humans and ponies are similar in insisting on them.
Thanks to Feathermay, I discovered that pony names don’t translate to English quite as well as everyone originally thought. What’s the most direct translation of your name?
There’s no good English translation. This is awkward at best, but the closest I can come is: Her Royal Plumage Brings Cheer To All Pegasi. It’s less conceited than it sounds.
You were here before the first busload of ponies was brought to the consulate. How long have you been on Earth?
Closing in on five years now. I was here about three years and nine months before the first bus of ponies arrived.
Relationship status?
Complicated. Who I date and eventually marry is of political consequence. I have a couple of crushes, but I’m not currently seeing anypony.
Favorite part of living on Earth?
That’s a complicated question. As an official representative of a nation, the things I say can be taken out of context. Anything I pick will become popular with ponies. You may have heard of the RC Cola fiasco. My secretary, Electric Slide, was looking for a suitable beverage for me to drink at an official United Nations function and found cans of Royal Crown Cola and made the assumption that they were for royalty.
Now everypony drinks RC, because I did so on TV.
I understand you continue to do so.
Of course. You ever try it? It’s amazing!
Are you aware of the nickname you’ve been given?
I’ve heard two variations on it: ‘the Duchess of Cola’ and ‘the Royal Duchess of Crown Cola’. It spread so quickly, all I can do is embrace the image.
Welcome to Earth’s Information Age. You were an internet meme. Are you familiar with memes?
Someone should really give that poor starving kitteh a cheezburger.
What’s your favorite song? Specifically, your favorite song that our audience on Earth might know?
The Edge Of Glory by Lady Gaga. Now that I’ve stated this, there’s a significant chance the single will reenter the Top 40 after this is published. For those of you reading this, I’ve stated a preference. This doesn’t mean you need to buy the song. It also means nopony needs to quote it to me all the time. If that were to happen, I might stop liking it, and then I would be sad.
Would you prefer if I skipped the other questions pertaining to your favorites?
Yes, please.
Would favorite color be safe?
I think that’s a safe question. Blue.
What sights do you recommend ponies check out when visiting New York City?
It really depends on how much time they want to spend and what their interests are. There are skyscrapers, bridges, and iconic monuments. There are events like sporting contests and concerts. For most ponies, I suggest Central Park. But I insist that no trip to New York is complete without a stop at a pizza parlor.
Do you have a car?
Two of them. A Checker limousine, and a stretched Lincoln Navigator. I don’t drive, personally. I have a chauffeuse, Searchlight, one of my Royal Guards.
Source: AlwaysDressesInStyle (note that the car shown is a standard Winkoff and not a limo, which would have longer rear doors)
Speaking of your guards, would you mind introducing them?
Starting with my archmage, Starbeam Twinkle. She’s not technically a guard, but protecting me falls under her responsibilities. I mentioned my driver, Searchlight. She’s a thestral, a pegasus pony with leathery bat wings instead of feathery bird wings. Swoop, my most-experienced guard. Mirage, master of the incognito. Cloudraker, with her proven aerial superiority. Skydive, quick of reflexes and quicker of wit. Finally, Skyfire, the leader who keeps this team a cohesive unit.
What do you miss about Equestria?
Cloudsdale will always be my home. No matter how far away I am, I carry a piece of it in my heart.
Emil: What was the favorite food/drink that you discovered on human-Earth?
New York-style pizza.
Spamotron: History question. How did Cloudsdale go from being ruled by martial law and a Commander to hereditary nobility and a Dukedom? I get that a lot can happen in a thousand years.
After the unification of the tribes, celebrated traditionally as Hearth’s Warming, Princess Platinum’s descendants retained their titles, but it was merely ceremonial. The closest comparison I can offer would be to your world’s Great Britain. Prince Blueblood is the sole extant survivor of the lineage. If he fails to produce heirs, the House of Platinum will die out upon his death.
Commander Hurricane preferred being addressed as commander until the end, but accepted the formality of a noble title as something that would be necessary. That was Platinum’s idea. Hurricane left running the country to her, and instead focused on the new country’s military affairs. Later descendants lacked military experience and never earned ranks. Princess Platinum was a princess. Heredity was what she was used to, and a government run by the military was a foreign concept to her. It was also a threat to the fragile peace. She still needed Hurricane to manage Cloudsdale, just not under military rule. The tribes might have been united, but they were all still very different. Integration had yet to happen. Platinum knew the ins and the outs of the game, and she knew how to break the rules. It worked in our favor.
Chancellor Puddinghead had no heirs.
Eventually the alicorns freed the tribes from Discord's anarchic rule. Where they came from, nopony knows. Their history is lost to time and neither seems all that anxious to change that.
Snowliasion: As usual, favorite colleague oh graceful leader?
I don’t play favorites, my fair human. I love all my little ponies equally. I see paperwork in your hand… are you applying for a visa?
Snowliasion: I'm not only applying for a visa, I'm also looking for available housing, any ideas Duchess?
I can certainly assist you with this. What part of Equestria are you looking to settle in?
Snowliasion: Ponyville or the Crystal Empire would be nice.
They certainly are! Once your visa is approved, I'll make arrangements with Mayor Mare and Shining Armor.
Dan: Might I suggest a day trip up to Binghamton to grab a spiedie? Those are easy to pronounce.
Unless there’s a vegetarian option I’m unfamiliar with, spiedies are primarily composed of meat cubes.
Dan: What do you think of the contrasts between Nuremberg (and Paperclip) and the Truth and Reconciliation Commissions? Have you discussed such things with Starbeam?
They’re very different lines of thought. Punishment and vengeance for past wrongs, versus reconciliation and forgiveness. In order for there to be redemption, there must first be an admission of guilt, and recognition that one’s own actions were wrong, no matter how justified they may have seemed at the time. Most importantly, one must regret those actions and wish to make amends for them. Forgiveness is another story. There are those who are quick to forgive. There are those who need to see for themselves that the party that wronged them has changed.
Of course, there are also those who will settle for nothing less than ‘an eye for an eye’ retaliation. Starbeam and Discord both fall into this latter category. For there to be an open and honest discourse between them to clear the air, both parties would need to be willing to negotiate. In this case, neither party has any interest in starting reconciliation discussions with the other. Third party intervention has resulted in an arrangement that nopony is particularly happy with.
Which leads to the art of politics – ensuring nopony is happy. Nopony should walk away with all their demands met, just as nopony should leave the negotiating table without attaining even a single objective.
penguincascadia: As the Equestrian ambassador to the United Nations, which UN agency is your favorite?
The United Nations is dedicated to solving economic, social, cultural, etc. problems through friendship. Okay, they call it 'international cooperation', but what is cooperation if not a form of friendship? I would hate to pick one agency in particular, and make it seem like I’m dismissing the others when they’re all important and interconnected.
But…
There’s one that’s near and dear to my heart. As a pegasus, the World Meteorological Organization is quite relevant to my interests, and the interests of my tribe. Furthermore, it’s the one I’m uniquely qualified to offer points of view humans have no points of reference for. I’ve brought in weather managers and Wonderbolts alike to speak with the organization.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve offered pony perspectives for the other agencies as well, but the WMO has had the bulk of my attention.
Dan: Have you and your staff learned any 16th Century Early Modern English? Do you like Shakespeare? Can I bring over The Hollow Crown series and have a movie night with cuddles and historical political intrigue?
To be honest, history is more Snowcatcher’s thing. I have a good working knowledge of it, because those who forget or ignore history are doomed to repeat it. Snowcatcher, on the other hoof, is passionate about it.
When it comes to Earth’s history, my area of interest is ancient Greece. I’m positive there was contact between our worlds thousands of years ago, and I’ve been working with the Greek embassy in researching ancient texts. I’ve put in a request for ancient Equestrian, and even pre-Equestrian texts, but Princess Twilight is very protective of her literary assets. Rather than send them here, she’s extended an invitation to visit Canterlot’s library to the Greek research team, and Snowcatcher’s been teaching them Equestrian in preparation for their visit. She’s really disappointed she can’t go with them.
I must confess my knowledge on Shakespeare is limited at best. I’m not sure how Snowcatcher feels about his work – she prefers nonfiction to fiction. She wouldn’t touch the Daring Do series until I let her in on the secret that A. K. Yearling really is Daring Do, and her accounts are less fictional than one would initially believe.
As for cuddling, I’m surprised by just how many humans have stayed at the Mareiott specifically for that. You’re certainly welcome to do so as well. As a guest, if that’s what you want to watch, that’s what we’ll watch.
Dan: Have any female human diplomats and/or VIPs ever asked you who does your mane and then tried to poach them?
Ponies tend to have significantly more hair than humans, and that’s not even counting our tails. My first few years spent on Earth were based out of a hotel while our consulate was being designed, approved, and built. I had almost no staff with me to cut down on expenses. I continued forsaking having personal staff even once the portal opened. Instead of a personal cook, I hired one for the entire building. Likewise, grooming is important, so I have a manestylist on staff for everypony working at the consulate. Appearances are everything in my line of work – we have to look perfect every single day, and Daffidazey does wonders with our manes and tails.
A number of humans have commented on it, and Daffidazey has tried working on some human females, but they just don’t have the volume of hair we ponies do. Suffice it to say, as good as her work is, she’s certainly had a few offers. But she’s continued to turn them down.
I understand you’ve been immortalized in stained glass. Tell me more about these windows at the Equestrian Consulate-General.
I want to clarify that my instructions to the artist expressly forbid including me as a subject. But I’m so glad he disobeyed my orders. It’s rare that ponies go against something a royal tells them, and he hedged his bets by unveiling that one last. It was also the only one that wasn’t installed. But he insisted that I at least see myself in stained glass before nixing the idea entirely. I’m glad he did – it’s my favorite of all the windows. I look so majestic, flying around the Empire State Building.
Most of the rest of the windows feature the consulate’s staff members because they were here to model for the artist. My secretary, Electric Slide, the youngest pony on my staff, posed with another young pony, Petunia Paleo, who had been on site while excavating the consulate’s foundation. The two of them were aged down into fillies singing carols in front of the Rockerfeller Center Christmas tree. The third member of their trio was the only unicorn we could get on short notice, Galaxy. Galaxy’s one of the strongest unicorns I know, and she was able to successfully pull off an age spell to actually revert herself to a filly to model properly.
One of my consoles, Rainbowshine, is perched on one of the towers of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Speaking of bridges, Snowcatcher is likewise shown on the George Washington Bridge. It’s her favorite spot in the city, and when her tenure as acting archmage was over, I presented this to her as a gift. My thanks for taking over the position temporarily, while simultaneously trying to get the Mareiott off the ground.
Searchlight, as the first pony to get a driver’s license, is posed driving a vintage Checker taxicab in front of the Woolworth Building. The Checker cab being the iconic vehicle for New York City, even decades after the company stopped making cars.
There’s a crowd of humans and ponies waiting for the ball to drop on New Year's Eve in Times Square. Finding human models wasn’t difficult for the artist, but the ponies here are the rest of my honor guard, Swoop, Skyfire, Skydive, Mirage, and Cloudraker.
My entire honor guard is pictured flying in formation in front of the Chrysler Building.
There’s one with no ponies at all, just the flags in front of the United Nations Building, with the Equestrian flag the closest to the viewer. The artist really wanted me to pose for this window, considering my role with the UN, but I flatly refused. This is a powerful window, and adding me would only cheapen it.
There’s a crowd of humans and ponies cheering on the New York Rangers hockey team at Madison Square Garden. The consulate’s security were the models for this one, as many of them are ex-athletes themselves, having been demolition derby flyers back home in Cloudsdale.
The earth pony buying a carrot dog from a food cart is actually the consulate’s architect, Frisco.
There’s a unicorn couple on a balcony of 56 Leonard Street (aka the Jenga Building). Look closely though, and it’s actually Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. The latter is posed in a way that her wings aren’t showing. They weren’t here to model, but it wasn’t hard getting photos of either of them as references.
There’s another with ponies interspersed amongst humans in a crowd at Grand Central Station. The rest of my staff who was here prior to opening day is featured in this image.
There will be more in the future – we still have lots of normal windows that will be replaced when the time comes. I want to commemorate ponies who make a mark on our adopted home. If our windows can’t serve as pegasus exits, then we may as well make them ornamental.
Beauty_Belle5678: Have you ever heard of Royale High school, even though you guys don't have Roblox?
I’m afraid I haven’t. I’m not much of a gamer, nor do I really have the time to become one. That’s more of Sweetie Swirl’s thing in all honesty.
Dan: Did you ever meet Gorby? Did he pat your head and call you a good pony and challenge you to a friendly chess game or Street Fighter 2 match?
I’m afraid I never had the opportunity to meet Mikhail Gorbachev. I understand he was instrumental in reforming the former USSR, but his health has been in decline since before the portal was open. Prince Blueblood, as the Equestrian ambassador, is the most prominent pony on Earth and the one most past and present leaders reach out to. I don’t know for sure if he ever met Gorby, but I’m inclined to say he probably didn’t either.
With the current hostilities in the region, there will be no Equestrian presence at his funeral. Under normal circumstances, it would fall to Blueblood to pay respects on behalf of Equestria.
Dan: Has anypony sent a recipe for gallo pinto back to Princess Twilight? I bet nobleponies and royalty would love it.
With ‘pinto’ in the name it’s sure to be a smash hit in Equestria. While I’m known as a picky eater, I’ve dined on this when being the guest of Central American dignitaries. It’s pony-friendly… except for the Valle Central regional variation that contains fish.
Dan: Have Twilight and Celestia ever considered human cosplaying?
I’m afraid I’m not close enough to any of the princesses to know this answer for sure, but my guess is probably ‘no’. Twilight usually spends her relaxation time reading, and I’m not sure what former princesses Celestia and Luna are doing now that they’ve retired. I keep expecting them to take a tour of Earth, but that hasn’t happened yet.
Dan: What kind of presentation would you give to a UNYA or Model UN group?
Nopony’s asked me to give one of these yet. Unfortunately, I don’t get to Equestria very often. But if I ever get the chance, I want to focus on Harmony between nations. It can difficult to keep your own citizens happy, and nigh impossible to keep relations warm with those outside your own borders. But keeping the needs of your own populace in mind and the interests of other countries need not be mutually exclusive, and if you can find those common interests that boost bonds with another country, absolutely take advantage of them.
A good way to start is in school. Everypony eventually runs across a classmate or even a teacher they don’t like. Whether it be somepony they don’t agree with, or somepony who’s different for one reason or another. Ponies and humans are herd creatures, whether we wish to admit it or not. Herds tend to conform to one another’s expectations to stick together. So try to make friends with somepony with an opposing viewpoint. It can be refreshing to see things from another vantage point. It helps prevent stagnation.
Dan: What are your thoughts on classic MAD and Deterrence theory? Was the old "Domino Theory" really backed up by any objective hard data?
Mutually assured destruction is something Earth is still dealing with decades later. Now that ponies have a presence on Earth, this is a concern for us as well. We don’t have nukes. As a matter of fact, our weaponry may as well be limited to ‘pointy sticks’ in comparison to any of Earth’s government. When one comes down to it, swords and spears are just fancy pointy sticks.
Deterrence theory is akin to bullying. Macho posturing about who has the bigger pointy stick. In over a thousand years of rule, Princess Celestia never once threatened to withhold the sun from passing over foreign territory. That’s a pretty big stick, but she would never penalize the civilians of a country for their leaders’ actions.
As for Domino Theory, I think history has proven that was naught but unsubstantiated claims.
Do you like bananas?
Not one of my favorite foods, but I don’t hate them either. I don’t willingly choose to eat them but won’t refuse one if offered.
Does Equestrian have any dealings with the modern RAND Corporation?
Not at the present.
Dan: Would you sing Love Deterrence for a We Are the World-style benefit concert?
Absolutely not. I only sing in the shower.
That said, I could probably get some pretty good musical acts to show up. I hear Sunny Rays is available…
Might I suggest visiting the famous New York Library (the one with the lions) and checking out Dawkins' writings and learning more about memes than the functional illiterate feline stuff? And maybe take a day trip up to Binghamton and grab a Spiedie. Those are easy to pronounce and less-touristy than flatbread that thinks itself pizza.
As usual, favorite colleague oh graceful leader whom I very much enjoyed editing about?
History question. How did Cloudsdale go from being ruled by martial law and a Commander to hereditary nobility and a Dukedom? I get that a lot can happen in a thousand years.
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Thank you as always for the questions! They've been answered in the blog.
That's what kombu dashi-marinated tofu and tempeh are for.
I would not only apply for a visa, I'd also go looking for available housing, any ideas Duchess?
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I can certainly assist you with this. What part of Equestria are you looking to settle in?
Ponyville or the Crystal Empire would be nice.
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They certainly are! Once your visa is approved, I'll make arrangements with Mayor Mare and Shining Armor.
What do you think of the contrasts between Nuremberg (and Paperclip) and the Truth and Reconciliation Commissions? Have you discussed such things with Starbeam?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_and_Reconciliation_Commission_(South_Africa)#Significance_and_impact
The very nature of justice should always be meditated upon.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTve54sz-eh_bDHo7N3PCNNyhCDHBy9kR
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Thank you for another great question - this has been answered in the blog.
As the Equestrian ambassador to the United Nations, which UN agency is your favorite?
Have you and your staff learned any 16th Century Early Modern English? Do you like Shakespeare? Can I bring over The Hollow Crown series and have a movie night with cuddles and historical political intrigue?
Way better than Game of Thrones.
If you haven't seen House of Cards, don't bother with the US remake. Only watch the original. It was heavily based on Richard III and Macbeth.
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Replied, thank you!
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The Henriad Cycle and War of Roses is not fiction, although Shakespeare did fudge some details. When they dug Richard III out from under that parking lot several years back, there was a big campaign to rehabilitate his villainous reputation and have him reburied with full regal honors.
And I meant a movie night at the pony embassy.
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Answering this one as the author, instead of in character.
I know that, but Ploomette doesn't.
I live in Pennsylvania, near both Lancaster (Red Rose City) and York (White Rose City). Suffice it to say I have a passing knowledge on the wars between the roses. That gets played up around here because of the rivalry between the towns, so it helps to know the history behind it. What Ploomette knows about Shakespeare is limited to what's 'common knowledge' even when that common knowledge is wrong (as it often is). On a side note, I didn't know that they'd discovered and exhumed Richard III. I'm only ten years late to that party...
When it comes to Earth history, Ploom's area of interest is ancient Greece, as she noticed many parallels between their civilization and that of the pegasus civilization of Commander Hurricane's era. She also comes from a land where there could be a literal war between roses (the flories from G1), so you'll have to forgive her ignorance.
Ploomette is an adorable (and young) little pink pony. She's having a hard enough time being taken seriously on our world stage. Movie nights at the consulate general wouldn't help her image. Which is the author's way of saying 'My entire experience with consulates is trying to visit the American Consulate General in Montreal and being turned away and directed to their website by security.' I've taken some liberties with the ease of which people can get into the Equestrian Consulate-General, which can be hand-waved by ponies being friendlier and more trusting than humans. But I think a movie night at the consulate is something even Ploomette would say 'no' to, if only to spare her security team a collective heart attack. But hey, the Mareiott's doors are always open.
Speaking of which, the Royal Guards really, really dislike her spending time at the hotel. The consulate is a fortress, and the hotel isn't, which makes it much harder to keep her safe. She's young, and she's a pegasus. She hates being cooped up in one building for long stretches of time. The Mareiott is her escape from all that. It should also be noted that she doesn't really entertain guests of the hotel in the way the others do. She does, but only by invitation, and they tend to be VIPs of the type that have their own security team. Because of Ploom's presence, the Mareiott is one of the safest hotels in the world.
Much to the chagrin of her guards, she's down for a pajama party movie night for staff and guests in the lobby. Just not at the consulate. On the plus side, that means Snowcatcher would be there, and she'd absolutely talk your ears off about any historical subject you want to discuss, or listen intently if it's something she doesn't know about.
Have you ever heard of Royale High school, even though you guys don't have Roblox? It's a perfect Royale role play game, which I do recommend... 👑
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Thank you for the question - this has been answered in the blog.
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Well, her chapter hasn't hit yet and that's a bit of a spoiler for Act II. At the moment, she doesn't know she's a gamer yet either.
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That will be revealed officially in her ask blog, when it finally gets posted. That's been done for months but I'm waiting until her chapter is posted before posting. That's getting closer!
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Awesome! I love writing 16.
Did you ever meet Gorby? Did he pat your head and call you a good pony and challenge you to a friendly chess game or Street Fighter 2 match?
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Thank you! Replied in the blog, as always.
The Metal Gear saga is finally coming to Steam. Or at least 1, 2, Solid, Solid 2 and Solid 3. No word on whether Portable Ops, Peace Walker and Solid 4 will come in Volume 2. Of course, Metal Gear Solid 4 was designed from the start to take advantage of the PS3's somewhat exotic Cell Architecture, which would probably make porting difficult.
That said, the Cold War was only slightly less insane than the fantastical scenarios Kojima-san came up with.
Question: has anypony sent a recipe for Gallo Pinto back to Princess Twilight? I bet nobleponies and royalty would love it.
Have Twilight and Celestia ever considered human cosplaying?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/1/23/1798.png
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Thank you! Answered in the blog, as normal.
What kind of presentation would you give to a UNYA or Model UN group?
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Thank you! Answered in the blog as normal.
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Replied to your now-deleted questions as well. Sorry, I had to do some research first.