Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW"
"Aragon is someone everyone should know, but also deny ever having heard of."
-- Professor Plum
"Short, dark, and handsome. [...] Has a delicious accent."
-- Swan Song
"Aragon. You are what Hunter Thompson could have been, if he'd done less drugs and more hentai."
-- Bad Horse
"I'm pretty sure you are the abyss Nietzsche warned us about gazing into."
-- FanOfMostEverything
"You know how Douglas Adams described flying as throwing yourself as hard as you can at the ground and missing? Aragon fails up."
-- MrNumbers
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Sunsettle for This: SLOWLY CHIPPIN' AWAY THE NEXT CHAPTER YO.
I'm an idiot who doesn't know anything about romance. And I lost my computer for two weeks. I had nothing to do, so I took out my phone and, perhaps naïvely, I thought that reading some fanfics would be a good idea.
So I spent two weeks reading shitty romantic fanfiction over AO3.
It was the mental equivalent of feeding my balls to a baby whale.
This blog series is a chronicle of the many, many mistakes I found during those two weeks, and also a shopping list of all the ways I can tell the Internet to go fuck itself.
• Part One: "It Feels Rapey" -- Three Horrible Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Romance ("Why are they in love", "That is not how humans work", and "Why are they acting like children").
• Part Two: "It Still Feels Rapey" -- Common Mistakes When Writing Romance (The "Twilight Male Character" stereotype).
• Part Three: "It Feels Rapier than ever" -- Another Horrible Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Tsundere").
• Part Four: "Hell is Empty" -- Another Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Filler").
• Part Five: It Feels Rapey, and it Breaks My Heart: The Greatest Mistake when Writing Romance (The "Harem Comedy", Part One).
• Part Six: It Feels Rapey: Harem Comedies, or How I Hate your Waifu (The "Harem Comedy", Part Two).
Ongoing, I try to post a new one every month or so.
Everything described in this blog is real, and happened as it’s portrayed, to the best of my memory.
Here’s the greatest tragedy of them all:
Everything, eventually, ends.
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2619588
No, but if you're writing about problems with fanfics, this is an area that could stand some criticism
2619588
Did.
Did I do a reading of a fic in my sleep or something?
I will add a few comments for those doing audio versions of fan fics.
1) It helps if you can read
2) It helps even more if you can pronounce all the words in the fic
3) Cursing when you make a mistake does NOT help
Tip:
Pros use a technique called "rehearsing". This means reading the story out loud at least once BEFORE recording it. This allows you to use the "dictionary" function on your computer to check the pronunciation & meaning of any words that you have trouble with. Yes, this means having to read the fic at least twice. This very well might prove fatal, which is why pros get paid for doing it
I thought of you for some reason. Surprisingly less so the name than the concept.
You're much more entertaining than a funeral.