• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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"Aragon is someone everyone should know, but also deny ever having heard of."
-- Professor Plum

"Short, dark, and handsome. [...] Has a delicious accent."
-- Swan Song

"Aragon. You are what Hunter Thompson could have been, if he'd done less drugs and more hentai."
-- Bad Horse

"I'm pretty sure you are the abyss Nietzsche warned us about gazing into."
-- FanOfMostEverything

"You know how Douglas Adams described flying as throwing yourself as hard as you can at the ground and missing? Aragon fails up."

-- MrNumbers

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You can commission stuff, here are my rates and extra info. PM me if you want a blog or a story!

And Paypal link, if you just want to tip me. Thanks!

Currently Writing


Latest Stories

Permanent Index: "It Feels Rapey" -- A Caustic Guide On How Not To Write Romance

I'm an idiot who doesn't know anything about romance. And I lost my computer for two weeks. I had nothing to do, so I took out my phone and, perhaps naïvely, I thought that reading some fanfics would be a good idea.

So I spent two weeks reading shitty romantic fanfiction over AO3.

It was the mental equivalent of feeding my balls to a baby whale.

This blog series is a chronicle of the many, many mistakes I found during those two weeks, and also a shopping list of all the ways I can tell the Internet to go fuck itself.

Part One: "It Feels Rapey" -- Three Horrible Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Romance ("Why are they in love", "That is not how humans work", and "Why are they acting like children").

Part Two: "It Still Feels Rapey" -- Common Mistakes When Writing Romance (The "Twilight Male Character" stereotype).

Part Three: "It Feels Rapier than ever" -- Another Horrible Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Tsundere").

Part Four: "Hell is Empty" -- Another Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Filler").

Part Five: It Feels Rapey, and it Breaks My Heart: The Greatest Mistake when Writing Romance (The "Harem Comedy", Part One).

Part Six: It Feels Rapey: Harem Comedies, or How I Hate your Waifu (The "Harem Comedy", Part Two).

Ongoing, I try to post a new one every month or so.

DONE saga! You don't need to read them in order!

  • Daring DONE! Rainbow Dash finds out that Twilight's mom is the author of the Daring Do saga. Things escalate quickly from there. by Aragon 5,538 words · 18,511 views · 2,806 likes · 45 dislikes
  • Twilight DONE! Twilight needs to rule Equestria for a whole week. There's no way this can go wrong. by Aragon 3,873 words · 11,699 views · 1,524 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Shining DONE! The day of Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding anniversary is coming. Shining Armor, wants to give his wife a truly exceptional present, so he asks the Royal Guard of Canterlot for help. Things get very out of hoof from there. by Aragon 8,846 words · 6,821 views · 793 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Parenting is Easy, I Swear Cadance and Night Light share a pleasant conversation in a café. Everything somehow manages to get really weird, really fast. by Aragon 11,525 words · 7,748 views · 1,044 likes · 42 dislikes

Long Story Short Continuity

  • Long Story Short, Things Went Down Carrot Top discovers her coltfriend is cheating on her. Her first reaction is to kick him to next Monday, even though that can get her in jail. Good news? Her friends are going to get her out of trouble. Bad news? They're all sociopaths. by Aragon 49,934 words · 6,553 views · 842 likes · 43 dislikes
  • Sow The Wind, Reap The Whirlwind Time Turner is preparing for the most important lecture of his life. One wrong move will mess up everything. Thankfully, his friends are there to help him relax. The problem is not his friends being sociopaths, but his friends being mad at him too. by Aragon 19,095 words · 2,542 views · 307 likes · 10 dislikes
  • Fridge Horror Derpy was just trying to make a sandwich. Vinyl was there too. Now the world is ending. Really, it's all their fault. by Aragon 13,571 words · 5,564 views · 513 likes · 19 dislikes
  • A Train, on Fire, Full of Orphans Lyra Heartstrings is driving a train with no brakes, on fire, full of orphans, and she's approaching a broken bridge at terminal velocity. Well. At least things can't get worse. by Aragon 3,251 words · 4,224 views · 419 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Wine And Toothpaste Beer tastes bad, Whiskey is just horrible, and Colgate does not like drinking. This is the story of how Colgate met Berry Punch for the first time, and how she saw a bartender who was clearly a ninja. Side story to Long Story Short, Things Went Down by Aragon 4,946 words · 2,705 views · 242 likes · 1 dislikes

Stories about Celestia

  • A Million Little Lights Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria. by Aragon 2,176 words · 7,283 views · 940 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Anarchive Reigns The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up. The Canterlot Archive messes this up. by Aragon 4,478 words · 11,464 views · 1,352 likes · 84 dislikes
  • Today is a Good Day to Die One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours. by Aragon 9,126 words · 15,613 views · 1,356 likes · 44 dislikes
  • Evil is Easy, Governing is Harder One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power. by Aragon 18,246 words · 10,971 views · 1,294 likes · 30 dislikes
  • A Hell of a Time The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family. by Aragon 4,444 words · 30,148 views · 3,412 likes · 51 dislikes

Three Centimeters? It's A Rule We Can Overlook · 3:20am Last Wednesday

So, this blog will be like your mother in bed -- quick and dirty. 'Cause it's 4am and I need to go to bed, but I want to do it already so I can sleep without regrets.

So like your mother again, I guess. We always end up there, what can I say.

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Comments ( 109 )
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It's not paused or anything, just low-priority. Co-author is a bit busy lately, and I don't want to update without him on board. IRL stuff, and so on.

I have written a couple more chapters? But they were mediocre, so I tossed them out the window. I assume sooner than later we'll update, but as I said in that story, it was sorta sporadic and not really a continuous thing. Project-between-projects, and I'm doing a lot of stuff at the moment. But yeah, don't worry -- it WILL be continued.

But hey, if you still want to handsomely gift me, by all means do so. I'm handsome myself, so that's at least one thing you got right for sure.

Are you open to continuing "Mad, with Power?"'

I will gift you handsomely.

I just read your latest Rarity stories. Everything I've read so far leaves me giggling. I absolutely love the way you write her!

I saw your description for the first time. My mind immediately went to this


In case I'm not looking at the screen wrong and you really will see this, I'm sorry.

  • Viewing 105 - 109 of 109
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