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Aragon


Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW"

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"Aragon is someone everyone should know, but also deny ever having heard of."
-- Professor Plum


"Short, dark, and handsome. [...] Has a delicious accent."
-- Swan Song


"Aragon. You are what Hunter Thompson could have been, if he'd done less drugs and more hentai."
-- Bad Horse


"I'm pretty sure you are the abyss Nietzsche warned us about gazing into."
-- FanOfMostEverything


"You know how Douglas Adams described flying as throwing yourself as hard as you can at the ground and missing? Aragon fails up."

-- MrNumbers

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And Paypal link, if you just want to tip me. Thanks!

Currently Writing

Sunsettle for This: SLOWLY CHIPPIN' AWAY THE NEXT CHAPTER YO.

Latest Stories

Permanent Index: "It Feels Rapey" -- A Caustic Guide On How Not To Write Romance

I'm an idiot who doesn't know anything about romance. And I lost my computer for two weeks. I had nothing to do, so I took out my phone and, perhaps naïvely, I thought that reading some fanfics would be a good idea.

So I spent two weeks reading shitty romantic fanfiction over AO3.

It was the mental equivalent of feeding my balls to a baby whale.

This blog series is a chronicle of the many, many mistakes I found during those two weeks, and also a shopping list of all the ways I can tell the Internet to go fuck itself.


Part One: "It Feels Rapey" -- Three Horrible Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Romance ("Why are they in love", "That is not how humans work", and "Why are they acting like children").

Part Two: "It Still Feels Rapey" -- Common Mistakes When Writing Romance (The "Twilight Male Character" stereotype).

Part Three: "It Feels Rapier than ever" -- Another Horrible Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Tsundere").

Part Four: "Hell is Empty" -- Another Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Filler").

Part Five: It Feels Rapey, and it Breaks My Heart: The Greatest Mistake when Writing Romance (The "Harem Comedy", Part One).

Part Six: It Feels Rapey: Harem Comedies, or How I Hate your Waifu (The "Harem Comedy", Part Two).

Ongoing, I try to post a new one every month or so.

DONE saga! You don't need to read them in order!

  • Daring DONE! Rainbow Dash finds out that Twilight's mom is the author of the Daring Do saga. Things escalate quickly from there. by Aragon 5,538 words · 18,302 views · 2,795 likes · 45 dislikes
  • Twilight DONE! Twilight needs to rule Equestria for a whole week. There's no way this can go wrong. by Aragon 3,873 words · 11,522 views · 1,512 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Shining DONE! The day of Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding anniversary is coming. Shining Armor, wants to give his wife a truly exceptional present, so he asks the Royal Guard of Canterlot for help. Things get very out of hoof from there. by Aragon 8,846 words · 6,724 views · 786 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Parenting is Easy, I Swear Cadance and Night Light share a pleasant conversation in a café. Everything somehow manages to get really weird, really fast. by Aragon 11,525 words · 7,580 views · 1,036 likes · 42 dislikes

Long Story Short Continuity

  • Long Story Short, Things Went Down Carrot Top discovers her coltfriend is cheating on her. Her first reaction is to kick him to next Monday, even though that can get her in jail. Good news? Her friends are going to get her out of trouble. Bad news? They're all sociopaths. by Aragon 49,934 words · 6,420 views · 838 likes · 43 dislikes
  • Sow The Wind, Reap The Whirlwind Time Turner is preparing for the most important lecture of his life. One wrong move will mess up everything. Thankfully, his friends are there to help him relax. The problem is not his friends being sociopaths, but his friends being mad at him too. by Aragon 19,095 words · 2,419 views · 305 likes · 10 dislikes
  • Fridge Horror Derpy was just trying to make a sandwich. Vinyl was there too. Now the world is ending. Really, it's all their fault. by Aragon 13,571 words · 5,461 views · 506 likes · 19 dislikes
  • A Train, on Fire, Full of Orphans Lyra Heartstrings is driving a train with no brakes, on fire, full of orphans, and she's approaching a broken bridge at terminal velocity. Well. At least things can't get worse. by Aragon 3,251 words · 4,075 views · 411 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Wine And Toothpaste Beer tastes bad, Whiskey is just horrible, and Colgate does not like drinking. This is the story of how Colgate met Berry Punch for the first time, and how she saw a bartender who was clearly a ninja. Side story to Long Story Short, Things Went Down by Aragon 4,946 words · 2,641 views · 238 likes · 1 dislikes

Stories about Celestia

  • A Million Little Lights Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria. by Aragon 2,176 words · 7,073 views · 923 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Anarchive Reigns The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up. The Canterlot Archive messes this up. by Aragon 4,478 words · 11,276 views · 1,339 likes · 84 dislikes
  • Today is a Good Day to Die One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours. by Aragon 9,126 words · 15,451 views · 1,352 likes · 44 dislikes
  • Evil is Easy, Governing is Harder One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power. by Aragon 18,246 words · 10,267 views · 1,261 likes · 30 dislikes
  • A Hell of a Time The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family. by Aragon 4,444 words · 29,617 views · 3,376 likes · 50 dislikes
Aug
18th
2017

The Power of Hate (or, Dickweeds) · 12:00pm August 18th

After spending ninety minutes telling us we are all special and that we have to chase our dreams and life is wonderful and money is not the most important thing in the world and shit, my Human Resources teacher pointed at me and asked “You! What’s your dream?!”

“To die a fucking millionaire.”

Emphasis on the fucking.

Teacher didn’t like me much after that exchange, no.

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Comments ( 104 )
  • Viewing 100 - 104 of 104

No wait, what I just typed here is better in a PM.

You're beautiful. If we weren't super married to other people, maybe I'd be super proposing to you. :duck:

2480685
In Spanish it's "araGON", accent on the last syllabe. I used to be "Aragón" (note the ó) in fimfic precisely because of that, and I still write my name that way in blogs and the like.

But everybody says "Aragon", accent on the first "a", 'cause that's English for ya. Even I find myself pronouncing that way if I'm speaking in English, really.

So, tl;dr: honestly, anything goes. Not even I give a shit about my name nowadays.

  • Viewing 100 - 104 of 104
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