• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Aragon


Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW"

Jan
10th
2018

Slow Burn (Enter the Realm) · 9:12pm January 10th

This happened.

This is an actual conversation that happened. Slightly edited and streamlined to be easier to read, but accurate nonetheless. I am legitimately this fucking dumb. But, shit, might as well be me who tells the story.



Aragón: and then my pharmacist asked my sister if I'm always “like this”

Aragón: which I honestly took as a compliment?

Aragón: but I guess I technically can’t go back to that place anymore

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Jan
2nd
2018

The Comedy (Is Serious Business) Contest! · 2:55pm January 2nd

Comedy is subjective.

—Someone with no taste.

If you folks know anything about me – and you do, as I have no idea what concepts like “privacy” or “shame” are – you know I like comedy. I keep writing comedy, I keep writing about comedy, and I’ve gone out of my way to make my life a total joke just to be thematically consistent.

With this in mind, and seeing how this website could always do with more good comedies, I’m happy to introduce—

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Dec
31st
2017

Not Pleasant · 9:33pm Dec 31st, 2017

Not your usual kind of blog, but a necessary one anyway.

I don't usually do signal boosts; there are many reasons for this, but mainly -- I understand that it's my responsibility to only give my followers what they asked for when they clicked the 'follow' button, and that usually only translates as my content. If you had wanted to read MrNumbers' blogs, you would follow him instead.

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Dec
9th
2017

Sailor Moon -- from Gay to Gayer · 9:12pm Dec 9th, 2017

Nov
22nd
2017

Three Centimeters? It's A Rule We Can Overlook · 3:20am Nov 22nd, 2017

So, this blog will be like your mother in bed -- quick and dirty. 'Cause it's 4am and I need to go to bed, but I want to do it already so I can sleep without regrets.

So like your mother again, I guess. We always end up there, what can I say.

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Oct
23rd
2017

When Family Cannot Be Here, Having Journeyed Far and Wide · 7:45pm Oct 23rd, 2017

It was my birthday this past Wednesday -- woo I'm 23 give me stuff woo -- but I had no ways to come in here and post anything.

There was a guy supposed to come to my house and install a router on Monday, true. But, the dude came in, looked around, said "Hahah wow I have no idea how to deal with this," and immediately left.

So no Internet till today, and no birthday blog. Instead, have a birthday story.

EPetty Please
The good thing about dating Rarity is that you get to talk to her. The bad thing about dating Rarity is that you have to talk to her.
Aragon · 3.5k words  ·  242  12 · 1.7k views

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Oct
12th
2017

Chlorine and Ladybug Kisses · 5:51pm Oct 12th, 2017

This just happened. This is real, I'm not kidding, this is an actual true story. This has changed me.

Today I woke up to my neighbor gently jacking off his dog.

I just took a nap in my new house for the first time, and my neighbor was gently jacking off his dog under my window. I got out of bed, stretched my arms, and looked at the city of Barcelona with a big smile on my face, and my neighbor was gently jacking off his dog under my window.

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Aug
18th
2017

The Power of Hate (or, Dickweeds) · 12:00pm Aug 18th, 2017

After spending ninety minutes telling us we are all special and that we have to chase our dreams and life is wonderful and money is not the most important thing in the world and shit, my Human Resources teacher pointed at me and asked “You! What’s your dream?!”

“To die a fucking millionaire.”

Emphasis on the fucking.

Teacher didn’t like me much after that exchange, no.

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Report Aragon · 1,140 views ·
Aug
17th
2017

Barcelona · 11:00pm Aug 17th, 2017

A terrible thing has happened today in the city I've called my home for the last five years -- and the one I'm going to live in for the next two or three, too. Check the news to know more about it (I'd rather not talk about it in here, to be completely honest). It happened in the Rambla, Barcelona's main street of sorts, and a lot of people got hurt.

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Report Aragon · 579 views ·
Jun
20th
2017

I Sing the Body Electric · 6:50pm Jun 20th, 2017

Okay, so first things first, I want y'all to know that I'm fine. I'm perfectly okay.

Good? Good.

So a couple weeks ago, my father found blood on my sheets. Figuring the time had finally come, he sat me down in front of him and told me about the wonders of growing up and the ways my body is going to change.

Then he stopped, and realized I'm actually not a woman.

So to the hospital we went.

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