• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • online

Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

T
Source

One morning, the sun doesn't rise. Twilight is convinced that every timekeeping device in Ponyville has malfunctioned, while Luna blames Discord.

Chapters (4)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 262 )

She'd just have to rely on the somewhat unreliable performance of a cock to wake her.

She sounds like the most supportive girlfriend ever. :facehoof: Sorry, couldn't resist.

We know that thou hath

Thou is an informal singular pronoun. Hath is a third person singular verb. Neither should be used for the second person plural.
Go here for a quick and easy reference guide to the usage of thou and the like. (Even an Olde Equestrian speaker would say "You have" to the crowd.)
You've finally won, Luna! :trollestia:
"The night.. Shall last... Five more minutes... Zzz..."

3216699

Needs space

Fixed!

I am... uncertain if referring to roosters this way is the best idea.

That was very deliberate. I kind of meant to appeal to the . . . lowbrow crowd (plus, there's a nice symmetry between clock and cock).

Thou is an informal singular pronoun

I hope "thou hast" is right, then (which is what I changed it to). I actually . . . really suck at parts of speech. Really, really suck. I only know for sure what a noun and a verb is, and I'm pretty sure an adverb works with a verb, somehow. This is why I suffered mightily through French, and failed miserably at Latin--I know what sentences are supposed to sound like in English from acting and reading and the like, but I really don't know the fundamental rules that make it all work. Normally, in more serious works (like Celestia Sleeps In), I rely on my two linguists who are pre-reading to catch those mistakes (one of them is even a medievalist!); one-shots typically aren't pre-read.

I kind of meant to appeal to the . . . lowbrow crowd

To deflect criticism: I don't mean to insult y'all. I laughed my plot off with the 'unreliable performance of a cock' line. I loved Friendly Uncle's Estrus. While I'm not going to write clop, those kind of jokes appeal to me, so know that I'm not mocking those of you who giggle at using the word 'cock' to refer to a rooster--I'm right there, giggling along with you.

3216819 I was on the floor when I read that part! XD

Yay! I have fan... fiction? Fanfan fiction? Ffanffiction? Ok, maybe not. I just made a stupid comment and the good Admiral decided to go way overboard with it.

But... I can't not favorite it. Glad some of my stupidity is being put to good use. Hope this gets featured for you Admiral!



And seriously folks. If the sun hasn't risen, then clearly it's not yet 6:51 am.

Such a pleasant way to begin my morning, I'm glad I read this. :twilightsmile:

3216769 Ah, so that was intentional. :raritywink: Even Shakespeare was wont to write wit with winkys for the lowbrow audience.
As to the second part, what I meant was that 'thou' and 'hath' were not used to address a crowd. I came across these two versions of a biblical phrase to demonstrate what would be done. Both are possible in Olde English. (Ye are, you have; likely the second is what you seek.)

3217963

I think she did address the crowd that way in Luna Eclipsed (although I could be wrong); of course the show's writers aren't concerned with being correct or consistent.

I do keep forgetting that the KJV is a great resource for writing Ye Olde English; I even have a copy on my tablet.

3217490

But... I can't not favorite it. Glad some of my stupidity is being put to good use. Hope this gets featured for you Admiral!

Almost . . . it hit #4 in the popular box (that's the highest I saw).

D'aww! That was such a cute ending.
I note this is marked incomplete. Does that mean there will be another chapter of this? (Either Luna telling Tia about it later just to watch her get embarrassed, or these events repeating until Luna decides to wake Tia instead of letting her sleep)

Looking forward to the aftereffects of spontaneously shifting the current time of Equestria several hours back...

3235096

It would probably be easiest to just skip a day. Then, later, if anyone asks, the Royals can just shrug. Maybe they could make a holiday out of it eventually. They'd have the Summer Sun Celebration, the Winter Moon celebration . . . . and the Sunless Tuesday celebration.

Nice to know Celestia has a built-in snooze button. ;)

THE SNOOZING HAS BEEN DOUBLED!:twilightsmile:

Spatulas and Alarm Clocks

Great Canterlot & Manhattan Alarm-Clock & Fire-Hose Company

I will never get tired of this joke. :rainbowkiss:

3250488

I fixed the spelling on Manhattan Manehattan.

3254857
Hah, I hadn't even noticed the typo. :rainbowlaugh:

Awww...I can't decide whether I should Squee, or Hug Tia.

only pausing once to admire a very realistic stone alarm clock which was seated in a slight depression in the wall.

Looks like Celestia decided to abuse Twilight's sleep-casting discovery.

Alternate title for your consideration (vulgarity ahead):

The day Equestria went ape shit.... in other words, your average Tuesday

She'd been skeptical. If a cock couldn't wake her up, what chance did an alarm clock have, shiny chrome case or no? Still, other Ponyvillians had given the alarm clock rave reviews, so she’d given it a try.

Didn't anyone notice this?

ΔΓ

What a pleasant story. Have a like and fav. I did enjoy the pacing and the overall plot. Very nice idea indeed.

Now if the whole rooster and clock thing was a refrence to another story, well I didn't know. The jokes were funny though!

Wait Big Mac's cock???...... :eeyup::facehoof:

3740867

Somepony's got to have a cock, how else would they get more chickens? Seems like Big Mac would be the one. I'd imagine he occasionally takes it over to Fluttershy's (you know, 'cause she's got chickens).

:rainbowlaugh:

Just...

:rainbowlaugh:

Twilight's pee exposition...

:rainbowlaugh:

Oven mitts for raising the sun...

:rainbowlaugh:

The freaking bat ponies...!!!!

:rainbowlaugh:

Ow, ow, ow, ow, my sides...

:pinkiegasp:

Umm...

Luna looked at the dark sky. “Selene is tired, and she must get her rest. Therefore, as difficult as it may be, we must do our princessly duties. The sun must be raised.”

Huh?

Other than that, this was nice, and that last line was hilarious! The idea of putting pot holders on their horns to avoid burns when raising the sun...I want to see that drawn!

3740956

Selene

It's the name of the moon. Maybe I forgot to mention she'd named it Selene (from the Greek mythology).

3740970
Ah, that's what you meant. I thought it was a typo/autocorrect of Celestia.

You know, when I first heard of your story 'Celestia sleeps In', I thought it would be a somewhat rude comedy of tropes like this one (Big Mac's cock... I don't even know what to say about that). I still can't wrap my head around how you managed to pull two completely different stories, one ultimately serious and the other brashly comedic, out of the concept that Celestia got a bit of shuteye for once.

Bravo, sir, bravo. :moustache:

3741276

I still can't wrap my head around how you managed to pull two completely different stories, one ultimately serious and the other brashly comedic, out of the concept that Celestia got a bit of shuteye for once.

I'd like to say it's because I'm a genius, or at least flexible in a literary sense. The truth is, I can't even take myself seriously. I also wrote--but haven't published--a parody chapter to Celestia Sleeps In, addressing some of the mistakes I'd made in the story. There was a fair bit of good-natured criticism that Celestia Sleeps In didn't have enough sleeping Celestia, and this is largely a response to that.

“We found these in the kitchen. We understand that the sun is hot, so we must be cautious to avoid burns. Slide this over your horn.”

We need a picture of this.

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
My face, the whole damn chapter. Glorious, absolutelyflippin' glorious.

linked to every home in Equestria, and she could just monitor it from a secret room in the basement of the castle.

Not sure if batman reference or NSA reference, but it's great anyways.

, and Big Mac’s cock hasn’t risen yet

...

We understand that the sun is hot, so we must be cautious to avoid burns. Slide this over your horn.”

That's it, I can't take it any more. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

--Sollace

I must say this story , while very random, is witty.

Though I will say this. The Detroit Lions are bad, at least Detroit have other teams.

Cleveland is just... Sad

Kansas has two bad teams. One which lost a 28 point lead. Go Colts! ( lol horses)

Funny story!

PS Go Niners!

Do you need to wear a noseplug when handling the moon, then? That's one old hunk of cheese.
(What's that? The moon *isn't* made of cheese, you say? :twilightoops: That's like saying the earth orbits the sun! What do you think Luna had lying around to eat for a thousand years? :twilightsmile:)

3743635

Do you need to wear a noseplug when handling the moon, then? That's one old hunk of cheese.

In the low oxygen (and very cold) reaches of space, it would probably keep fresh for a very long time.

3742275

Not sure if batman reference or NSA reference, but it's great anyways.

It could be taken either way.:pinkiehappy:

3746518

Corrections made. I thought I'd fixed the Nobles' Council--one of my pre-readers and I had a spirited discussion about that apostrophe in Onto the Pony Planet.

Luna, that's not how it---

Who am I kidding? That's probably exactly how it works. She spears the moon like a big ol' dumpling and tosses it into the sky every night.

>Um, I see Marigold the Unicorn over there

We see what you're doing there, and it is heavenly to the nostrils.

3754717

I wanted to put a link to the comic where Marigold was naming the constellations, but it would have taken too long to find.

Oh, please continue this. I gotta see Celestia waking up.

Make it adorable!

*Snerk* Yup this sounds like a Luna solution.:rainbowlaugh:

3800868
No worries, it's not done yet.

3833690
Do they set Equestrian clocks to the sun, or the other way around?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!