• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen October 16th


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?


Due to a mix-up in the pantry, the jasmine tea that Princess Celestia orders for consumption with her breakfast turns out to be made out of coca leaf, instead.

A period of overwhelming bureaucratic efficiency, aggressive platonic affection, and mild insanity follows.

EDIT: Featured (briefly) 6/13/17! Thank you all!
EDIT: Featured at #1 6/14/17! WOW! Awesome, thank you all!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 99 )

I actually quite liked this:twilightsmile:

I'm so glad I made my Wut. Bookshelf...

Why do I write

Because we love you. And this was hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

lol she almost turned into Daybreaker!:rainbowlaugh: Good thing that Luna knew what to do!

Coca leaf tea: The Breakfast Of Royalty !

This was awesome :rainbowlaugh:

I was kind of expecting some Archer references.



I'm glad that both of you enjoyed! :raritywink:

More like why don't you write more of this???

The answer is always cast iron skillet :ajsmug:

This reminds me of a joke that went around my school, when everyone in the dorm next door tried to impersonate this guy


Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

what the fuck just happened

jasmine tea this morning, Mr. Manor. Something fragrant will help me relax,

And just for not saying Chamomile, you are one of the best authors on this entire site. I love you.

Raven, Princess Celestia’s secretary and assistant...Lord Kibitz out of town

And with this, I check who the author is. Nice reference BTW. (I think at least)

Dude I love you, even before you chose to not use Chamomile.

This was great.

I shall be back shortly.

Put this in quotes

Her name is Princess Doctor Rockso, she does cocaine.

I shall be back shortly.

Missing quotes

cakes. Others

better replace the stop with a comma

Princess Celesita looked


Pretty good. Not much more to say about it, just a fun bit of lighthearted comedy :twilightsmile:

Lol that was awesome

Hah! I loved this:rainbowlaugh:

Any chance of a continuance? Maybe a small series of 'Celestia accidentally does...' featuring a number of drugs she accidentally does, from Ecstasy and Marijuana to Ketamine. Heh I'm reminded of some youtube vids of Peter on Ecstasy or Brian on Mushrooms.🤣

*sigh* I would complain that Twilight is acting as about as crazy as Celestia is in this story, but the show has already shown she'll get that way over things concerning her, so I really have no ground to.

Well... That was- That was a thing... Yeah.

Well that was certainly a crack fic.

:rainbowlaugh:Celestia, and weed. And shrooms, and acid.

Haven't read the story yet but it sounds... interesting. How do you accidentally do cocaine? :pinkiesick:

Go to church

I do somewhat often but now I'm in a new apt without a car :(
Bet you didn't expect a serious reply, didya?

Find a closer one, and get an Uber :P


Author's Note:

Why do I write

So the world can see shit like this...

Bu bum bum chessh

Twilight Accidentally Does a Shroom

Luna Accidentally All the LSD (before going into dreams to help ponies)

Cadance Accidentally Does An Ecstasy
(Get it? Princess of Love, Ecstasy...)

Heh, I said that already. mushrooms=shrooms

the crack team of royal


Drugs are bad and do nothing but drive a wedge between a person and God. I, in good conscience, endorse a fic involving Celestia partaking in the... Devil's Sugar.

Comment posted by HappilyDead deleted Jun 16th, 2017

Well this brought me outta my sad mood and into a humorous one

that amount of coca leaf tea would really only amount to a single line of cocaine; i guess then that Princess Celestia is a lightweight then:trollestia:

A single, horse-sized line of cocaine, you mean.

no, regular sized :twilightsheepish:

I loved this a whole lot more than I should've. :rainbowwild: It was absolutely hilarious.

You wrote Love-Your-Own-Luna too? :raritystarry: And so many other good-looking stories? I don't know why I wasn't following you before this.

I needed a fun story like this. :twilightsmile:

Ah, but if the tea bags were horse-sized to begin with...

All I can say is THANK YOU for the watch and the compliment- keep an eye out for more coming soon (I'm most active during the summer, anyway!)

You get about a regular line, probably. A regular tea bag's worth of coca leaves has 1/6 to 1/4 the alkaloid content of a (regular) line of cocaine (5 mg vs 20-30 mg). That's with Soxhlet extraction, though. Just brewing the tea will only extract about 4 mg (1/8 to 1/5 a line).

Login or register to comment