• Member Since 10th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 52 minutes ago


growing a small collection of engineering samples β—ˆ Forget about coffee buy me a cup noodle.


It's well-known that the alicorns of Equestria have certain... characteristics that separate them from the rest of the pony populace.

One of these characteristics is a self-destruct button.

Twilight Sparkle is the first to learn of its function and proceeds to find hers the hard way.

This story is brought to you by my final brain cell hitting the corner of my head like a DVD logo.

downvote if y'all want to. :P

oh heck there's an audio reading now by Scribbler!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )

If that URL is to be believed, you just *barely* missed this being the 500,000th story on Fimfiction.

Literally, by ONE.

You had one job.

10/10 would favorite again.

...brane hurtz...

The 500000th is his as well

Honestly, I was waiting for Twilight to press Celestia button.


This fanfic fails in having a cohesive story (or even just making sense), but succeeds in having so many funny ideas that are stock in my head FOREVER.

Celestia nodded. "You will receive a Raven of your own in due time."

"Oh, but I already have a pet bir--"

Celestia lit her horn and teleported Raven Inkwell in front of her former student that she'd expelled disgracefully for health reasons. " You will receive a Raven of your own in due time and by that I mean today. "

Celestia: But is your pet bird this tight?

So... Sunset's button will be under her hoof, right? hahahaxD

"'Dunno. I read about you growing one in this weird book stuck inside a Daring Do cover."

i can't help but feel called out by this.

beautiful story about the intricacies of alicorn succession, tonkus. i loved every word.

You made me read this. For this, you are responsible.

For this story amused me. Thank you and the author both.

"Girls, I'm home!" Chonk Beeficus, father of Celestia and Luna and the most s w o l e alicorn to exist, tore a hole through the wall with two jugs of milk and a fax machine in tow.

Alright... you can take my like... but I'm not happy about it!

Well, that was hilarious :pinkiehappy:

Don’t worry fellow readers, you didn’t need those brain cells anyways :)

You have at most a decade before you will need to find a protege of your own to do everything that your lazy behind refuses to do."

Oh, hey, she ended up with TWO of those! :derpytongue2:

"Raven is infinite. It's a long story."

Many long stories, in fact. :trixieshiftright:

Twilight Sparkle's eyes sparkled like the Twilight sky.

I feel like there's something there, but... but... nah, not comin' to me. :trollestia:

Why do I get lured into reading your craziness? I need the few brain cells I've got. :facehoof:

Dear lord, you hit the Featured box. (Gotta turn on the filter)

I will send Chonk Beeficus to take your like.

499996 - 500000 are all mine. I'll be slowly using 'em up for random crap. :)


Take my upvote/favorite and have a good Sunday :)

What? This made no sense. I liked it.

Most stories make you feel like showering after . . . this one is "A Treasure Bath"

:moustache: I just want to press your buttons
:raritystarry: 🎠
:twilightoops: TMTB [TOO MUCH TACO BELL]
:unsuresweetie: That's my nephew
:trollestia: I'm going to Disney Land

If the chapters of "What if..." were like cattle, then I imagine this is the one that got out of the pen. :rainbowlaugh:

I knew you were going to hide a button on a butt at least once at some point in all of this. :trixieshiftleft:

"I do faintly recall a voice of a pharmacist talking about some sort of '-inator' coming to me in my dreams. I find it strange that the word that preceded 'inator' was 'explode', however."

Well, this explains a lot. Guess Doofenshmirtz went to work for Hasbro. :rainbowlaugh:

Nice story, if not a silly one.

Now THIS is the kind of quality shitpost I come here for! Bravo!

This... lol. Gold.

This is more or less EXACTLY my kind of humor.

I would LOVE to help you write a crackfic like that.

King Dragon sends his regards.

I'm sorry but you are on your own with this one.

"Being an alicorn causes you to slowly lose your will to give a f:yay:ck. You have at most a decade before you will need to find a protege of your own to do everything that your lazy behind refuses to do."

This makes more sense than the entire rest of this story.

Ah, Techie wrote this. That explains things. xD

Great story, bud!

Why do you even bother reading this garbage?

Trust me bro, I've personally written worse.

I have now finished this story.
I don't know anymore


It was so serious to comedic, and then deathly serious...yikes! O_O

maximize literary whiplash to destroy the most brain cells

Appleody #42 · Sunday · · ·

It's a good job alicorns were created with such a device. You wouldn't want them falling into the wrong hooves. It's the only thing that makes sense in this version of reality.

The story was a fun one.

The reading was fun as well. :)

Rainbow Dash was promptly turned into a table leg for the rest of the day for her crimes against rated-E fanfiction. A conveniently placed black-and-red alicorn proceeded to use her as their weapon of choice.

oh, i once read a silly A-rated short fic where Twilight grew...a penis!

"Being an alicorn causes you to slowly lose your will to give a f ck. You have at most a decade before you will need to find a protege of your own to do everything that your lazy behind refuses to do."

reminds me of another short called "no bucks", where Twilight suddenly ran out of f cks to give and started to behave in REALLY silly and irresponsible ways, like walking out of a store without paying, and getting drunk!

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