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the hardest "wat" you'll ever say. β—ˆ Toss a coin to your lowly wordsmith?


This story is a sequel to The Dragon of the Ruins

Spike didn't have much to say about his life. Not after a thousand years.

Not after centuries of loneliness.

But maybe, just maybe, these new ponies who've stumbled into his life can change that.

Even if only for another century.

A continuation of The Dragon of the Ruins. Prior reading is NOT necessary, though. :twilightsmile:

Spoilers for G5!

Russian translation by Mordaneus!

Chinese translation by forgivenlove!

Chapters (5)

Spike's seen his fair share of the world. It'd truly felt like each passing year had taken with it a little more of Twilight's sanity, until all that was left was a husk of the mare-turned-alicorn.

Twilight, in the end, couldn't comprehend the life of an immortal.

Couldn't fathom the idea of living for thousands of years.

But Spike can.

Because Spike has.

And it's destroying him.

Contains mild spoilers for the state of the world in G5.

Russian translation by Mordaneus!

Chinese translation by forgivenlove!

Read the expanded version of this story!

Chapters (1)

It's well-known that the alicorns of Equestria have certain... characteristics that separate them from the rest of the pony populace.

One of these characteristics is a self-destruct button.

Twilight Sparkle is the first to learn of its function and proceeds to find hers the hard way.

This story is brought to you by my final brain cell hitting the corner of my head like a DVD logo.

downvote if y'all want to. :P

Chapters (1)

Tonight on Bottom Gear, Twilight eats a pineapple, Applejack goes berserk, and Rainbow Dash falls in love with a box of tissues. I think. There's some other stuff that happens too, but everyone's too brain-dead to summarize it all.

This is the worst possible way to celebrate a Fimfiction milestone, mark my words.

Sex tag for innuendos all throughout this garbage fire. Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

Collab credits in the author's note. :V

Disclaimer: there was, for a while, roughly 20 or so peeps working on this at the same time. This absolute carnage was somehow cleaned up into fitting precisely 5,000 words according to Fimfiction's word counter, and I still have no idea how we managed to do that. Do not expect quality, or even relevant memes. Oof.

Dedicated to this lovely dumpster-fire of a site that we call home. :raritywink:

We have successfully polluted the featured box with our garbage! Huzzah!

Reviewed by PresentPerfect!
Read by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan!

Chapters (2)

What happened to Crews A through S? We don't speak of them.

Read the disclaimer at the very bottom!

A mysterious organization known only as "The CC" emerged mysteriously on a mysterious night with mysterious motives. Their goal? To explore what was never explored before.

The problem? They've sent out nineteen exploration crews, only for each and every one of them to go missing. Also mysteriously, mind you.

And now, with their twentieth attempt in Crew-T, maybe something interesting will finally happen...

A play on the concept behind GMBlackjack's League of Sweetie Belles.
A sidestory to What If...

CONTENT WARNINGS: the complete and utter annihilation of the random tag, OC abuse, and the loss of readers' braincells. Also, the Crackhead Coalition.

Pay me money so I can buy new brain cells.

Submit your story down below with an embed, along with the worst summary you can think of, and I'll consider writing a chapter or two around it! I'll be sure to extract maximum clout out of the resulting garbage-tier horsewords. I can guarantee you that I will judge your story off its cover, yoink said cover and write a chapter knowing absolutely nothing about your fic except for the cover. That is your anti-quality guarantee.

(Also if you want I might also take What If-style suggestions.)

Disclaimer: I may turn down your suggestion for any reason, be it personal or technical. This entire story is written as a parody of anything and everything, so long as permission has been granted beforehand in the form of posting your story link in the comments. Expect your fics to be thoroughly mauled.

Read this story on Offprint!

Chapters (22)

Twilight thought it was all so real-- the crisp morning air, the warmth of the rising sun, the ponies that went about their day-- it all seemed real to her. Yet, with the breaking of a single connection, everything comes crashing down, leaving a very confused girl wearing a VR headset.

Maybe she can still relog.

Preread by Thunderous, Babroniedad, EverfreePony, and No name 13, with additional assistance provided by the Write On! community. Formerly preread by Doggyshakespeare and JetXPegasusWWN.

Cover art drawn in collaboration between Momoruuu and myself.

Based off of a chapter from What If...?

A total rewrite of the original Pony-Meβ„’. Want more Pony-Meβ„’ after you finish reading? Here's an original fiction spin on the story for ya.

Story structure: Story arc β—ˆ Chapter title

Chapters (12)

This story is a sequel to The Incredibly Stupidly Weird Story About 15 Random OCs

It's official. Twilight Sparkle is no longer the smartest.

With the power of not one, not two, not even three crackheads, but a full twenty (that's two tens worth!) of 'em put together, the all-encompassing, all-powerful and all-knowing behemoth known as *gasp* Google is born!

Except this ain't the Googlidoodledoo that y'all use in real life, no--this is Equestria's take on the thing. It runs on chaos magic.

The cherry on top? Discord isn't even in this story.

WARNING: The random tag was found brutally murdered in a blender and turned into a smoothie to write this story.

Original blogpost!

People whose OCs I kidnapped:

  1. BezierBallad

  2. No Name 13

  3. SunnytheSavvy

  4. Connect-the-Pie

  5. NicLove

  6. Zapper Frost

  7. Samuel-Neocros

  8. Possibly me

  9. Twilight Glimmer

  10. amf studios

  11. The Blue EM2

  12. Concordius Lord of Kaos

  13. Heroic412227

  14. BiggerNate91

  15. Deep

  16. Reichtangle

  17. BradyBunch

  18. dshadow14

  19. Light Heart101

  20. Thunderous

Chapters (1)

Just some lighthearted RainbowJack/AppleDash fluff, and then a monster attacks at some point. Also, things get slightly meta. Excuse the author for not knowing how to write his AppleDash in this shaky first-attempt.

Written for the AppleDash Warm and Fuzzy Feelings event. This story might not necessarily be fuzzy, but its (probably) garbage fire-ness will keep you warm! :raritywink:

Chapters (1)

A standalone prequel to Splintershard. You don't need to read Splintershard to understand this story, nor do you need to read this to understand Splintershard.

Day by day, the rift in Equestria grows. The factions align, but nobody knows--

Will the nation still stand?

Or will it fade away, leaving only dust and sand?

This story starts off pretty lighthearted, but will grow progressively darker as time passes. Additional tags will be added as the story progresses.

Reviewed by Lumina Faith in My Little Reviews & Feedback!

Chapters (88)

This story is a sequel to Sunbeam

Whisked away by a voice in her head calling herself "Starlight Glimmer", Emily Ashton finds herself in a land far different from anything she'd ever expected.

If only getting back was going to be as easy.

Reading the prequel is not necessary to understand this story.
Chapter format: Major arc | minor arc β—ˆ Themed chapter title

Based partially on lore hinted in The Old Collector. This is the first story taking place within the Splintershard Continuity.

This story is a cumulation of many, many previous works and tropes of mine. :twilightsmile:

Cover art by JodTheCod. Preread by Thunderous, ScopingLandscape, Babroniedad, Darksoul85, and last but not least, the Write On! community.

Formerly preread by AnObliviousAuthor.

Join the Fimfic group!

Reviewed by SwordTune!

Chapters (27)