• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

CategoricalGrant


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Roselucky Seven; Want to support me?

T

Being a Princess of Equestria is a hard and lonely job. Princess Cadance knows this firsthoof, and if it wasn't for her faithful husband Shining Armor, she would be grumpy too!

Still, she can't just sit by and watch her beloved aunts waste away in loneliness and anger! Maybe that old mirror hidden in her castle holds a solution...

Cover Art by TJPones

EDIT: Featured like 20 mins after posting (lol nice) on 6/3/19.

EDIT: #1 just a few hours after posting! Glad you all are liking it :3

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 78 )

Bring him baaaaaaack!!! STEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!:fluttercry:

Another blue pop startled the duo, and Luna reappeared brandishing a knife from the Royal Kitchens in her magical aura. β€œ I SAID BRING HIM BACK, YOU HUSSY! ” she screeched, swinging the blade wildly as her family members dove for cover. β€œ WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING HIM!? ”

Noooooo, poor Steve, poorer Lunaaaaaaa πŸ’”

Those poor poor peasants under Luna's mercurial rule...

oh god, poor Cadance got the dumbest person she could have ever found.

pbs.twimg.com/media/D5ORAJAW4AAx1vD.png

The absolute state of this fandom's degeneracy.

The ending could potentially be set up for a sequel

9659857
Actually I have three different people in my class who are proud that they have a 0.8 I don't know how they did it

And I want another story about how just goes to the human world to bring him back.

β€œUh…” The guards shared a confused glance, before the first spoke again. β€œThe Royal Cobbler damaged your slippers. Should we take her to the leg-breaking room?”

She has a whole room for just that see this is why the story needs to be a lot longer

β€œThe Royal Cobbler damaged your slippers. Should we take her to the leg-breaking room?”

SCP 106: Cha Cha real smooth

Very enjoyable! Memetic bonus points for the literal shaking! :rainbowlaugh:

Steve is the kind of wise and experienced love guru we all need in our life

Deny the Princess of the Night her snuggle cushion at thine own peril.

9659975
One does not simply make the Princess of the Night shake.

Now THIS, is art.

Thanks for the story...
You bring back my good mood sir..

SNL anyone? lol

Amazing as always Grant! :pinkiehappy:

I love the connection between Luna and Steve at the end

Also Luna going crazy with the knife killed me, nicely played.

The humans seem to rank the intelligence of their young with numbers. Your old pupil, Sunset Shimmer, is a 4! Many other students are around 3. Steve is ranked a 1.1!

... :facehoof:

Another blue pop startled the duo, and Luna reappeared brandishing a knife from the Royal Kitchens in her magical aura. β€œI SAID BRING HIM BACK, YOU HUSSY!” she screeched, swinging the blade wildly as her family members dove for cover. β€œWHERE ARE YOU KEEPING HIM!?”

:pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh:

Luna snarled, narrowing her eyes. β€œWhat an absolutely ridiculous assertion. I survived more than a millenium on sheer force of hatred alone, and let me tell you, I much prefer it to being pestered by alien monkeys!”

I love you Luna, you're my little sith lord. Sith lord to tsundere and finally straight to psycho. She's such a lonely little pony. Better go find that Steve before she breaks into the armory Candycane.

9660207
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion"

9659964
I despise you for making me want look it up.

Still, good meme.

Luna's the rare combination of tsundere and yandere

I feel like Steve is a stoner with a stoner accent

Another blue pop startled the duo, and Luna reappeared brandishing a knife from the Royal Kitchens in her magical aura. β€œI SAID BRING HIM BACK, YOU HUSSY!” she screeched, swinging the blade wildly as her family members dove for cover. β€œWHERE ARE YOU KEEPING HIM!?”

You earned a like with the absurdity of it all, but this? This right here? This earned you a favorite and a follow! :rainbowlaugh:
Oh, wait, I'm already following you? Dagnabit.

Interesting how ruthless Luna was written here. I suppose there are many other stories that have her like that, but it really stands out in this one.

I came like 20 times. So hot.

More?

Which Bowling Green college?

Oh God, this really needs a follow up.
You could even make a small story from this stuff!

Stories with explicit content are meant to be marked "Mature."

Ooooooohhhhh boi!

9661457
I wondered. I live outside of Bowling Green, Ky. Where Western Kentucky University is located.

This is a very good one-shot. I would love to read more with Steve and Luna.

β€œWhy? Why!? Because...Because you are a filthy, intolerable animal that I am not at all emotionally invested in, and I have absolutely no fear of emotional intimacy or the prospect that letting anycreature near me will result in an outpouring of deeply repressed feelings! In fact, I am so sure of this that I shouldn’t be screaming!”

LUNdere:ajsmug:

9662043
Damn it! I'm literally laughing rite now made my tablet fall :rainbowlaugh:

Well this got to be the funniest story I have ever read :rainbowlaugh:

9659923 I no, I'm gonna get sick :pinkiesick:

9659857 Ironically he was very effective.

This was beautiful. Great job!
Loved the ponies reactions in this story. Especially, Luna's though this whole story!:moustache:

Steve is totally Jason from "The Good Place."

Thank you for posting.

Oh gosh... this totally made my heart all hurty in a good way <3

The humans seem to rank the intelligence of their young with numbers. Your old pupil, Sunset Shimmer, is a 4! Many other students are around 3. Steve is ranked a 1.1!”

β€œGold coins! I can pay my tuition to Harvard with this,” he celebrated

Disgusting! To buy his way into Harvard with a 1.1 GPA with his dirty, lewd money, and the sick bastard just celebrated! This should've been rated-M for the sheer degeneracy on display!

...well, unless that's against site rules. B-but the memes, dammit!

rofl and damn i thought celly was going to do that

Cute. Thanks for creating and sharing.

Haha, I absolutely love the title!

Set
Set #48 · Jun 6th, 2019 · · 1 ·

Luna stood on four wobbly legs, tears washing her mascara and eyeliner down her face in a very unbecoming pattern. β€œI...I-I’m literally s-shaking and crying right now,” she stuttered, frowning.

I did not expect to read Luna say this lmao

Steve handled Luna's absolute bitchiness better than I would've, lol. Also, can we ever get a sequel.

With another pink flash, a spear eleven cubits in length, with a bronze point fashioned to the body with a gold ring, appeared in front of her. She deftly nabbed it with her hoof. β€œI broke into your room while you were sleeping and found this cool polearm...Or is it a pike?”

At the moment Luna still has another spear conveniently attached to her forehead

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