• Member Since 17th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago


I enjoy the obscure side of Pony, and my stories tend to be offbeat explorations of unexpected characters or ships.

Avatar by the beneficent Bluegrass Brooke!


A guide to my stories · 2:23am May 9th

Sometimes it's hard to figure out what kinds of stuff someone's written & where to dig into their back-catalogue. It's easier when they focus on a handful of characters or subjects, but it's harder to pick a starting point when they've written a diverse bunch of stuff.

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Report CoffeeMinion · 58 views ·

Welcome to my corner of the Innertube

(I didn't draw that, but isn't it cool?!)

Thirtysomething Christian metalhead Warhammer 40K fan, now also peddling pony fanfiction and occasional dramatic readings. Excelsior!

Feature Boxen

  • The One Where Discord Gets All The Mares Discord finds himself as the unlikely focus of a massive amount of love-magic-gone-bad, and must fend-off every female in Equestria in his attempt to reach the only pony who can break the spell... by CoffeeMinion 6,650 words · 6,957 views · 562 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Love, Or Something Like It The mare of Spike's dreams has taken his heart in her hoof... but he can't escape the feeling that something isn't right. by CoffeeMinion 2,088 words · 1,922 views · 108 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Change We Can Believe In Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon discover just how much they disagree about the changelings joining Equestrian society. by CoffeeMinion 1,506 words · 697 views · 54 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Baby Limestone Rides to War With one brand-new baby sister and another on the way, young Limestone Pie is mad as Tartarus… and she's not going to take it anymore! by CoffeeMinion 1,712 words · 636 views · 88 likes · 2 dislikes
  • To Serve In Hell Nightmare Moon has brought oppression and eternal darkness to Equestria, but Rarity and Rainbow Dash may yet risk prominent positions in her service to fight for a better world... by CoffeeMinion 18,366 words · 1,631 views · 97 likes · 7 dislikes


  • The Brief, Torrid Love-Affair of Fernando the Straw and Madame le Flour A parody of tragic romance, in which the titular couple faces an unfeeling world that forbids their love... for their passion cannot be denied! by CoffeeMinion 2,794 words · 661 views · 99 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace Starlight Glimmer finds herself pulled into a magical comic featuring the Power Ponies, but the most shocking revelation is that she isn’t the only outsider fighting to survive in the comic world! Can both escape together, or is it winner-take-all? by CoffeeMinion 7,833 words · 555 views · 37 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Heavy Rock [Now complete!] Limestone Pie and Flash Sentry find unexpected love and unimaginable loudness as they navigate a path through social anxiety, heavy guitars, and the occasional love triangle. by CoffeeMinion 23,731 words · 545 views · 68 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Time Enough For Wub When a lost and confused Star Swirl the Bearded all but falls into her lap, Vinyl Scratch must confront her own past heartbreak to help him remember the mission that brought him to the future. by CoffeeMinion 8,769 words · 395 views · 44 likes · 2 dislikes
  • You've Got Spam! [Co-written by Georg!] Faced with an unrelenting scourge of misspelled junk mail, Twilight Sparkle stands determined: if the mail must go through, it's gonna have to go through her. by CoffeeMinion 4,102 words · 1,064 views · 86 likes · 3 dislikes

Other stories you'll probably like

  • A Dinky Little Problem Sparkler pushes Derpy toward a difficult decision. by CoffeeMinion 2,116 words · 1,548 views · 88 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Conscience The Doctor is determined to save a life, regardless of what it may cost him. by CoffeeMinion 3,525 words · 447 views · 29 likes · 3 dislikes
  • The Counselor On what's supposed to be the happiest day of Apple Bloom's young life, a lingering question drives her to seek out a pony she trusts. by CoffeeMinion 1,235 words · 3,283 views · 220 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Mistress of the Dark A moonlit tale of friendshipping, dark rituals, and SCIENCE! by CoffeeMinion 1,830 words · 648 views · 69 likes · 0 dislikes

Stories I've done dramatic readings of

Stories I love

Vault of Old Bios

Long-time aspiring writer, somewhat recent pony convert.

I came here to write horsewords and chew bubblegum... and I'm all out of gum.

Now 20% spookier! (Generally known as CoffeeMinion outside of October)

"Burninating the countryside... burninating the peasants... burninating all the peoples... and their thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!! And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIGHT!!!"

Hard at work, or hardly working?

Population: Tire

Comments ( 132 )
  • Viewing 128 - 132 of 132

Why thank you! I think if the titles of those speak to you, the contents probably won't disappoint. :moustache:

I also did a lol just now at the title of your "Starswirl, Who Farted?" story. I'mma put that on my read-sooner list.

Cool, I gotta make some time and check out your stories. "Sharktavia 40,000" - "Baby Limestone rides to war". All seem like awesomesauce and I haven't even read dem' yet. :raritywink:

Thank you so much! :twilightsmile:

That's so kind of you, thank you! :D I loved your story, it was hilarious! You did a wonderful job!



Consarn it Sugarcube, I gotta get me one o' them Discord-thingys one o' these days...

  • Viewing 128 - 132 of 132
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