• Member Since 17th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago


I enjoy the obscure side of Pony, and my stories tend to be offbeat explorations of unexpected characters or ships.

Avatar by the beneficent Bluegrass Brooke!


A guide to my stories · 2:23am May 9th

I've written a diverse bunch of stories. All are E- or T-rated and have received an investment of time and seriousness, but most are one-shots, making it tough to recommend good starting points. Yet that's part of what I want to do here.

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Report CoffeeMinion · 75 views ·

Welcome to my corner of the Innertube

(I didn't draw that, but isn't it cool?!)

Thirtysomething Christian metalhead Warhammer 40K fan, now also peddling pony fanfiction and occasional dramatic readings. Excelsior!

Feature Boxen

  • The One Where Discord Gets All The Mares Discord finds himself as the unlikely focus of a massive amount of love-magic-gone-bad, and must fend-off every female in Equestria in his attempt to reach the only pony who can break the spell... by CoffeeMinion 6,650 words · 7,165 views · 564 likes · 28 dislikes
  • Love, Or Something Like It The mare of Spike's dreams has taken his heart in her hoof... but he can't escape the feeling that something isn't right. by CoffeeMinion 2,088 words · 1,984 views · 111 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Change We Can Believe In Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon discover just how much they disagree about the changelings joining Equestrian society. by CoffeeMinion 1,506 words · 743 views · 54 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Baby Limestone Rides to War With one brand-new baby sister and another on the way, young Limestone Pie is mad as Tartarus… and she's not going to take it anymore! by CoffeeMinion 1,712 words · 706 views · 89 likes · 2 dislikes
  • To Serve In Hell Nightmare Moon has brought oppression and eternal darkness to Equestria, but Rarity and Rainbow Dash may yet risk prominent positions in her service to fight for a better world... by CoffeeMinion 18,366 words · 1,693 views · 100 likes · 7 dislikes


  • The Brief, Torrid Love-Affair of Fernando the Straw and Madame le Flour A parody of tragic romance, in which the titular couple faces an unfeeling world that forbids their love... for their passion cannot be denied! by CoffeeMinion 2,794 words · 691 views · 102 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Power Pony Adventures: El Taco Loco vs. The Red Menace Starlight Glimmer finds herself pulled into a magical comic featuring the Power Ponies, but the most shocking revelation is that she isn’t the only outsider fighting to survive in the comic world! Can both escape together, or is it winner-take-all? by CoffeeMinion 7,833 words · 610 views · 38 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Heavy Rock [Now complete!] Limestone Pie and Flash Sentry find unexpected love and unimaginable loudness as they navigate a path through social anxiety, heavy guitars, and the occasional love triangle. by CoffeeMinion 23,731 words · 641 views · 70 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Time Enough For Wub When a lost and confused Star Swirl the Bearded all but falls into her lap, Vinyl Scratch must confront her own past heartbreak to help him remember the mission that brought him to the future. by CoffeeMinion 8,769 words · 456 views · 47 likes · 2 dislikes
  • You've Got Spam! [Co-written by Georg!] Faced with an unrelenting scourge of misspelled junk mail, Twilight Sparkle stands determined: if the mail must go through, it's gonna have to go through her. by CoffeeMinion 4,102 words · 1,152 views · 91 likes · 3 dislikes

Other stories you'll probably like

  • A Dinky Little Problem Sparkler pushes Derpy toward a difficult decision. by CoffeeMinion 2,116 words · 1,621 views · 90 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Conscience The Doctor is determined to save a life, regardless of what it may cost him. by CoffeeMinion 3,525 words · 473 views · 29 likes · 3 dislikes
  • The Counselor On what's supposed to be the happiest day of Apple Bloom's young life, a lingering question drives her to seek out a pony she trusts. by CoffeeMinion 1,235 words · 3,358 views · 220 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Mistress of the Dark A moonlit tale of friendshipping, dark rituals, and SCIENCE! by CoffeeMinion 1,830 words · 677 views · 71 likes · 0 dislikes

Stories I've done dramatic readings of

Stories I love

Vault of Old Bios

Long-time aspiring writer, somewhat recent pony convert.

I came here to write horsewords and chew bubblegum... and I'm all out of gum.

Now 20% spookier! (Generally known as CoffeeMinion outside of October)

"Burninating the countryside... burninating the peasants... burninating all the peoples... and their thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!! And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIGHT!!!"

Hard at work, or hardly working?

Population: Tire

Comments ( 144 )
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I am currently on Skype

OMG I just replied to my own comment. :facehoof:

Anyway, I'll be on in about 1.5hrs if that works.

Yo, I'm probably 1.5 hours away from being available if you're still available too.

Sounds good, that should be workable!

Let's plan on Sunday evening, if possible. I am going out to an early dinner with family tomorrow, so we won't have much time if we start at 3:45.

  • Viewing 140 - 144 of 144
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