• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

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Source

Rainbow Dash means the world to Scootaloo, who wants nothing more than to spend every day with her surrogate sister, learning from the best and being awesome together. Yet all that is about to end, possibly forever, and Scootaloo knows there's nothing she can do about it.

The only thing left to do is say goodbye... but that's proving far harder than she ever imagined.


Preread and edited by Mercury Gilado, Absolution and Vergathos. Thanks a ton, guys!

Cover art commissioned from DANMAKUMAN.

Now featured on Equestria Daily.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 245 )

Loved this story!

Oh boy that was a good read. :heart:

Wow. This was good

Great story...kinda want to know what the kids name is though.

I wish I could write amazing stories like you. =(

This was great thanks alot for a good story I needed one.:twilightsmile:

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Why thank you! :twilightsmile:

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I knew people would. Intentional decision on my part. :trollestia:

5176014
What are you talking about? Your stories are awesome.

This was really cute! :rainbowkiss::scootangel:

This was SO cute!!!!:heart::pinkiehappy::heart:

This was amazing.:heart:

This was excellent... a moving examination of how a child deals with change in their lives. Often, they don't deal with it well, and it takes a caring adult to show them that while things are different, the people who are important to us stay important and loved. While the story is focussed on Scoots, I especially like how Dash has grown, too. We can see that maternity and marriage has made her wiser, and her worry about "appearing mortal" to Scoots was a defining moment in her life in addition to birthing her child. About the only thing I could ask was that there was some resolution to the conflict between Soarin and Scoots, as that was just left wide open. All in all, though, well done!:twilightsheepish:

5176585
Leaving the Soarin/Scoots issue open was intentional, of course. I dunno if it'll ever happen, but I have a policy of always leaving openings for sequels/prequels.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it!

I was expecting Rainbow to be sick. Well done. Anyways...

It hurt to fly, and this time is wasn’t a good pain.

*it

she worked frantically to keep the tears were they belonged

*where

I was going to say that, as an eldest child, I had never felt that kind of jealousy when my (first) sister was born... But then I did recall a moment of fleeting realisation that it would never just be the three of us again. So, huh. Caused me to think about something that I'd forgotten thirty years ago.

Bonus points for telling a story, which, as you say, has not been addressed in any stories I've read, either.

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Errors have been located and culled.

Ah, my deception worked! I did a lot to provide the illusion of Rainbow's 'condition,' including the cover art.

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I'm the middle child in my family, so in a way I never really felt that level of disappointment, either. I might get by saying that Scoots helped me witnesses it, though.

The fact that I'd never seen this subject touched upon for Scootaloo was a major reason I knew I had to write this story when it occurred to me.

:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: this got me to cry very emotional I love it

I cried while reading the description.
OK now lets try and tackle the actual story. :fluttershyouch:

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Excellent and thank you!

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You cried... because of the description? Wow, and I thought it was poorly handled.

:pinkiesad2:

Ok, this story wass awesomely heartwarming and great.

THE FEELS THEY'RE CHOKING ME
AHHHHH

5177028
Bad feels, bad! Put that reader down! What have I told you about choking the audience?

I don't usually fave one-shots... But this was just too good :pinkiehappy:

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Glad to be an exception. :twilightsmile:

Rox

Good show! Short, sweet, believable. A great one shot, feel good story.

Seeing Soarin so close to Rainbow pisses me off for some reason. :ajbemused:

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In truth, I picked him because I figured doing so would incur the least wrath from the "that's not my OTP!" crowd. Can you imagine if I'd picked one of my OCs instead? Discord would have had a field day with all the hate that would have been thrown my way.

After a few minutes of glorious battle... I lost. A single tear made its way down my cheek.

Bravo.

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That is a battle I am always happy to win. :raritywink:

5177153 I'm not saying I was mad at him for not being OTP, I was just mad at him because, well... I don't exactly know why, I just was.
Luckily I was able to keep that away while I read this. It was an amazing read, that's for sure.

This, is probably one of my most favorite one-shot fictions of all time. Well done, gave me the feels and made my heart swell.

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Is he stealing your waifu, perhaps?

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Glad to hear it!

Very good, One of the best stories I've read on this site.

Okay fine. Here:

:fluttercry:

Take your upvote and your tribute of tears, author. I hope you're proud of yourself.

I am off to read a random comedy about butts to recover.

Whoosh!

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High praise indeed. My thanks!

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Take your upvote and your tribute of tears, author. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Why yes, yes I am. If it's any consolation, I hope your butt fetish proves helpful with the healing process.

Words cannot express how beautiful this story was...

5177355 Can I ask, how did you come up with such a good idea? It's one of those stories that really touches your reality side, something you can just connect with.

This is an awesome story.

5/5 mustaches.

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: / :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

i could sworn this was gonna be a rainbow dash dying one......... glad to say i am pleasantly surprised it isn't.

5177285 I can't tell you exactly why, as I don't know. But... yeah

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Thank you both!

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Ha! One more person deceived! I was actually trying to fool people with that impression. The only clue I left that this wasn't a 'Rainbow dies' story? No Sad tag.

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This story came practically out of nowhere, and I can't say that any one thing inspired it. I have been reading a lot lately, but I couldn't point you to a specific story that brought this about. I just remember it dawning upon me that I'd never seen a story in which Rainbow has a foal and Scootaloo is forced to deal with the consequences. It seemed like an inevitable step in their coexistance, and the fact that nobody'd touched upon it before was startling.

Regarding the realism... that's just me. I strive to keep my stories as 'realistic' as possible (which is why you'll never see me writing a crackfic).

5177794 That's totally awesome, well I'm glad your mind just happened to think it up! :scootangel:

Amazing story, I loved it.

Also I will admit that you got me at the beginning, it took me a little time to realize where the story was actually heading.

This is a nice lesson. Great job on the story, though.

A sweet and enjoyable read! :heart:

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That's what clued me in too. At first I was thinking she was sick/dying, or maybe she was already dead and it was her ghost watching Scoots(and they were trying to get her to go to a funeral/memorial or something), but there was no sad tag or anything so it couldn't have been that.

Then Soarin showed up and she said 'this is your fault' I was wondering if maybe she was getting married or having a foal.

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