• Member Since 14th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Seether00


Reads at the speed of lightning. Writes at the speed of molasses.

T
Source

When Scootaloo and a new student get into a fight at school, it's up to Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle to teach her the importance of Griffon/Pony relations by reading the story of the first encounter between a Griffon huntress and a Pegasus soldier.

Now on Equestria Daily


Cover Art By
StinkHund

Editing and Pre-reading done by
NotMurphy
Georg
Ping111
DistaffPope

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 93 )

Wow. There's a lot here to love, from the griffon beliefs to Scootaloo's understanding of the story to Dash not knowing how to operate the scooter. (Seriously, I love to see that last one. And the steering doesn't make any sense.)

In all, a great job and a great read. Thank you for it.

The shipper in me wants more.

But the reader in me recognizes a quality ending to a high-quality fic.

Another marvelous story, Seether. Don't really know what else to add, but... Oh yes, your description of Twilight's dance was absolutely marvelous and taught me a cool new trick I can use when needed.

Great story, here.

"Writes at the speed of molasses." I'm with you there, brother.

Hahaha, I love Dash attempting to use the scooter. :rainbowlaugh:

5383225 5383756
5383071

Thanks. I wanted to do something different instead of the usual 'Griffons are the bad guys' kinda thing. I still don't know how Scootaloo steers that thing. Heck, we've seen her go in reverse.

5383541
The first paragraph is always the issue. Blank Gdocs are intimidating.

Wanderer D
Moderator

Very nice piece of world building, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Most enjoyable. And if you pick up on this idea again, somewhere down the line, I am there.

I like your lore. Very entertaining. If I had kids I'd make it a bedtime story. :twilightsmile:

5383835

I am glad you enjoyed it. It was a good exercise in world building for me. We know next to nothing about the Griffons. Hopefully more will come at some point.

5383994
That is exactly the style I was shooting for.

I like where this is going so far. Only one small issue I found.

it! “Scootaloo shouted, throwing up her hooves.”I don’t know why.

Quotation marks are a space out of place here.

Small issues in this one:

whomsoever returned to King’s

whomsoever returns to King’s. And missing a quotation mark at the end of that sentence

would be inducted into The Iron Talons, the royal order of knights.

Need a quotation mark to end that sentence.

glory call, and my heart demands I answer.

Same

As for the story itself, really glad to finally get around to something from you. It's certainly a fun piece that really captures the characters well. There's no question who's who in their actions and voice, it all comes through marvellously well. The story within the story was also very well told, the language there showing the style one would expect.

*Snerks*

Further proof of Rarity’s once drunken assertion that she was secretly adopted.

Nice.

A rooster, it should be noted, would have dug her boogie and proposed on the spot.

This sounds 100% accurate for what one would expect of a dance originating from catbirds.

Did you borrow the Eagle Father and Cat Mother from Augie, or are they from elsewhere that I haven't seen yet?

So, yeah, in the end, really liked this a lot. Well earned up and fav.

How does one fire a bow with no arrows? (Reference to the cover art.)

5384182

Huh. The typos appear to be reproducing like rabbits. Anyway, yes, Augie's story was an influence. I believe others have also used the concept of the Eagle Father and Cat Mother, but his is the one that sticks in my mind.

Old school home-made scooters were often made with skate wheels nailed to a plank with a box at the front. You steared the same way you stear a skateboard. They were a popular thing up until about the 50s. Remember that scene in Back to the Future, where Marty takes the scooter thing, rips the box off the front and rides it like a skateboard? Those thing actually did exist.

Scootaloo's scooter is just a more modern variation. Look up "skeeter skate".

5383773 Here is a trick to get over the intimidating aspect of a blank document.

Write a scene that you have already fleshed out in your head, then go back and write the beginning of the passage. It works for some people. It might work for you.

5384336

Huh... that's actually a good idea. I'll try it out. Thanks.

A story within a story, explaining lore and such was really quite nice. Also liked that ending, it was cute.

5384214

Like I said before:

It's nice to see Cat Mother and Eagle Father getting out and about. A fun, fun story here!

Mike

Amazing story. Liked and faved. Very much enjoyed. And I love what scoots did in the end.

This is interesting. I've favourited it.

your story has reached a new rank:
hale’s own!

(basically god, gg m8, luv’d it)

Well done. You have earned yourself a favorite, and possibly a follower

5384479

On the next episode: The Eagle Father and Cat Mother go on a road trip.

CM: We've passed that same tree three times already! Just admit you're lost and ask for directions.
EF: I am not lost! I don't need directions! Quiet, woman!

CM: Mother was right about you!

It was cute. Had a good "vintage" angle to it, wich worked well..

With the title i expected to drop this derpicdn.net/img/2013/12/6/490827/full.jpeg

as a joke, but the story went with it first! Hopefully the rest of the.. "lesson" will have flown way above Scoot's head.

:unsuresweetie: Wait.. it was all about how you can sway potential enemies to your side with violence, stockholm syndrome and sex ?

:twilightsmile: You got that right Sweetie, but we call it the magic of friendship nowadays.

Awesome story bro! It was good from start to finish, but like all good things it had to end. I would love to see :flutterrage: MOAAAR

I normally can't stand things that deal with griffons, or griffons as a whole for that matter. (They are definitely not my favorite race in the MLP universe) However, this story is absolutely beautiful, and the entire tale of Hildegarde and Grey Feather was my favorite part, such a tender story... :heart: This story actually makes me like the griffon race just a bit more. Thank you for writing this beautiful tale. :pinkiehappy:

I like how you write for Rainbow Dash. Still having that youthful bravado and attitude, but with the growing instincts of a responsible adult. But, beyond that, I like how you have her actually passionate about something academic, namely history. I like to see people give her the credit of being at least a little bit learned, even if just pegasus history.

I look forward to finishing the second part

5385553

And when:

The little griffonlets in the back start mewling and squawking, Ma and Pa can threaten to pull this whole metaphysical reality over to the side if they don't shut their beaks!

Mike

Hmmm...
Not sure if it was The Power of Love, or if the Cat-Mother & Eagle-Father thing has some truth to it.

Either way, cool story.

5386070

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling that's the power of love

I had logged off already, when I saw this is the feature box. I HAD to log back in to favorite, upthumb and save the chapters for later reading.

Any time I see "Griffin" and "Romance" I am all over that.

5386088 And I'm old enough to have heard that song on the radio.

Whatever craziness the squirt got into, now Dash had to be the responsible for taking care of her.

This should either be "now Dash had to be the one responsible for taking care of her." or "now Dash had to be responsible for taking care of her."

There needs to be more griffon love in this world. I like the background you've given on the culture of the catbirds. Looking forward to more griffon stuff in the future!

away fthe

"away from the"

called up the the stairs

Extra "the" here

a embarrassed

"an embarrassed"

If that was not enough, there were even tiny bells wrapped all around everything, including the pink pointy shoes as garish icing on the fashion disaster cake.

Sounds like something designed by Star Swirl.

5387824

Yup, yup. In total agreement. Working on something right now, actually.

5387845
Some styles transcend cultures. Who wouldn't want more bells?

I believe Star Swirl once responded to an invitation to the Griffon Court with, "I'd love to come. I'll be right over with bells on."

5387845 Oh Starswirl didn't desing his wears. He said to have "found" them. Maybe it was from a griffin troubadour lost luggage.

The talk of a race between the Sky King and RD made me wonder if it would be a fair race if she was in her supercharged Rainbow Power form. But even Rainbow Dash is too responsible to unleash unfathomable cosmic power just for a silly contest.

A good story well-told with a decent moral. That ending was perfect.

The story is great, but I just love the description of Dash's trials and tribulations in sitting Scootaloo. Somehow, somewhere, there are bucket-fulls of karma coming home to roost.

“How do you make this stupid thing go?” she cried, righting the offending transport, examining where the steering pole poked through the baseboard. “And how do you even steer this thing? The handle’s not even connected to anything!”

Hahaha.

bep

5388444
Little Miss :rainbowdetermined2: would, but from the images of the new castle in those sketch sneakpeaks made it look like they'd be realeasing phenomenal cosmic power every other day. Besides, if King Aether is the aspect of the wind, the fastest pegasus powered up to a level that has more raw power and less affinity should be fair.

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