• Member Since 17th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 19th, 2017

AidanofVT


Struggling to live with a crippling case of impaired motivation.

Sequels1

E

Scootaloo wakes up one morning to find that she can use magic. Unicorn Magic. This is the story of that Sunday. And the Monday after that. And the Tuesday after that. We'll be serving it with a side of Scootaloo-can't-fly cliche'.


This is my first story so I'd appreciate any feedback!

Click here for this story's (distant) sequel!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 83 )

I like it! Very cute! It feels a wee bit rushed but that's alright, a great start for your first story on FiM!

:pinkiegasp:
That. Was. AWESOME!!!:rainbowkiss:
:derpytongue2::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:
:scootangel: Scootaloo... Wow... So cool...
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

Adorable, well-written and thoughtful.

Impressive work.

[Insert I LOVE IT gif here]

Pls put in space between each paragraph, or else the grammar nazi will never find a reason to detain you for poor grammar

Oh wow! That is so cool, I see a sequel,,,,, I can also see her using magic on her scooter tricks. C'mon every pony, let's come up with all kinds of ideas for sequel.

I've always wondered why there weren't some unicorn enchanted surf boards or the like that were powered by a ponies internal magic(levitation and propultion) for getting around. If done right, moving vans or freight trains could almost be pushed to the background sinse they could only haul so much while a simple enchanted board could just lift the frickin' house and move it:trollestia::twistnerd:

5158057 Yeah, I was a little concerned it was rushed. Thanks for the feedback!

5159781 Are you planing on expanding this? i like it and as much as i can say i haven't seen many that actually go far with the concept. Yes i have seen a few where scoots learns magic but none get beyond the 3rd or 4th chapter. or they haven't yet anyway. There is so much that this can expand upon. Such as she IS currently walking on a cloud which means she DOES at least have pegasus magic in her and twilight just said it was what was the word atrophied or something like that. So i would love to see what you mighty want to do with the future.

ALSO 30 and 0 do you know how hard that is to pull off. 30 people liked your story so far and not 1 disliked it. and this is in a 24 hours period from release. Heck i know some people come into stories and just straight up dislike it because it doesn't have their favorite character in it.

So please continue this.

I like :pinkiehappy: sequel?:fluttershysad:

5160381 Huh, yeah, cloud walking. Why didn't I think of that?! You're completely right: it's not quite an inconsistency, but it deserves some more attention. After seeing all this positive feedback, I certainly will be writing more, possibly a sequel to this story. If I did then I think that I would probably focus more on Twilight's research then Scootaloo's issues.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I am thrilled to see what is now a 39-0 ratio.

5161170 yep 39 and 0

SO much stuff that can be done with this verse. Not only twilights research but what the princesses think. How does her magic progress and is she gonna be Twilights student.

5161538 No... I don't see how there could be a prequel, unless you want a story about Scootaloo waking up. Glad you enjoyed it though!

5161553 Well, a lot of people are asking for one so.... maybe. If I did then I would probably focus more on Twilight and less on Scootaloo. When I wrote this I imagined that Scootaloo just lives happily ever after.

This is amazing! I cant wait to see what happens next! This seems pretty original and Evan if this has happend before i wonder how it will turn out. And, would it end up that we will have scootloo the pgeacorn? Lets see what happens and keep up the great work!:pinkiehappy:

this story would be greatly improved by continuation. as it is, it feels like It's building up to something only to come to a great big anticlimax, when it has hints of deeper things. Like the mysterious past pony who had Scootaloo's problem. The way Twilight spoke about them and the way the class reacted made me think something deeper was going on

5161575 Personally, I hope you do consider a sequel some day. Maybe not immediately, but some day. This has a lot of potential for more story. You could explore more about how her classmates reacted (and what it says about how other ponies will react), how her parents take it, what kind of magic she'll learn, how this changes her relationship with Rainbow and Twilight, and more.

At any rate, it's a lot better than the other "Scootaloo gains unicorn magic" story I've read (which I can't remember the title of, but it definitely wasn't as good as this).

While this is good as a oneshot, more wouldn't hurt. A good question would be would you allow others to use this idea if they so choose?

...I want to see more, despite this being a one-shot..
The ending..It isn't satisfactory..there is SO MUCH.....

Whom is this pony with other magic-wiggle-ears (I imagine her ears wiggle a bit when the magics.) from 200 years ago?

Is that pony related to our current Wiggle-ear pony?

How will this affect her at school?

Will she even GO to school?

5161735 I actually got this idea from the story One in a Million. I thought that I could do the premise better, so I got the author's permission before writing this. I don't know if his story was the first, but it's the only one I know of, so I'd ask him if you plan on writing something.

If you meant that you want to write something in my universe, I couldn't legally stop you even if I didn't want you to do it, so go right ahead!

5161205 51-0 at 9:35 central, this just don't happen :raritystarry:

Well, that was... kinda random.

5161957 Yeah I'm starting to wonder if this is just one crazy person that is clearing their cache over and over again or using a TOR browser. Do you need to log in to thumbs-up something?

5161988 no but unless like you said they are cleaning out cashes enough to be able to they should at most beabe to upvote only twice! Once logged in, once while not. Changing IP adresses might also be something that needs to be done to be able to do multiple upvotes. We'd have to ask admin.

5162015 well anyway think you got enough upvotes to make a new sequal?

Well first off, I would get an actual cover art for the story. A brick doesn't really do much for it. Unless the brick is a metaphor for scootaloo being unable to fly and that her mane color is that of a brick and in the rare case that it is, nevermind this post. Otherwise.

RC

5161575 sequil. I ask for a sequil! MOAR MOAR MOAR!

Don't worry, Scootaloo. Unicorns and pegasi have lived together for thousands of years. Do you think the ground-hoofers never looked up and said "I'm gonna do that someday"? You've already got wings, which gives you a leg up on any actual unicorn trying to fly--the pegasus magic in them is useless (although you can still walk on clouds, so you can probably still do weather stuff once you learn to fly), but its got to be much easier to improve what you already have than it is to create something that isn't supposed to be there.
The sky will be yours, Scootaloo... although you're going to have to work on it to get up there.

Hm... maybe she can levitate herself? She's still got a bit of pegasus power, and whatever reason there is behind unicorns not just levitating themselves into the sky may not apply to her. That would be the quickest way.

I like this. I thought it would be a pure comedy or crackfic, but you gave it actual meaning and emotion. In addition to being a bit cracky. Although this really isn't what I expected when I clicked on a story called "Magic Ears" with a picture of a brick.

Good story for a first one.

Ouch with getting a branch piercing cleanly through her leg. Good thing ponies have greatly rejuvenating native magic or else she might have been limping for the rest of her life.

That's... a somehwat familiar premise... :trixieshiftright:
Don't worry, though! If this is the sincerest form of flattery, I'm flattered. :rainbowkiss:

You know, with some refinement this story could be pretty epic. I'll have to make sure to track it; I really like the idea of a pony being able to do more than what they ever thought possible.

5161756

I have a sneaking suspicion it's Starswirl the Bearded.

I mean, come on, that's probably why is ensemble has a huge HAT. To cover up his horn, or in this case, lack of one.

5162098 I bloody well HOPE SO:pinkiehappy:

5163400 And THAT actually makes sense

5162405 Yeah I know; I'm open to suggestions.

5162793 Well hey, fancy seeing you here! Thanks again for the proofread. 'Hope you enjoyed the story!

Alright who's the chicken*^%@ that needs to hunted down for down voting this??! Still it's quite the feat 66 ups and only ONE down in the two days it's been up for reading:raritystarry:

5163400 200 years ago. Starswirl was over 1000 years ago.

So will Scootaloo get to be Twilight's Faithful Student??? I can totally see Scootalo zooming around using a self levitation spell, or modifying her scooter to fly.

You get a thumbs up just for the glorious solid brick master race.

5158804

It's spaced correctly. This is how books are formatted

5168223

I really should start working on my sentences, I been pissing people off lately with my writing.

Anyway, what I meant to say was, the lack of space between each sentence makes it both tedious and painful for me to read. Its is enjoyable, I assure you, but the effort needed to read it makes the experience somewhat . . . less.

5168467 no worries.

Have you tried changing the line spacing under "formatting"?

I have just one question. When can we expect the sequel?

5168564

Already done that, sure wish the Author do something about the spacing. Its a bit annoying but I can live with it.

I've read a lot of the Scootaloo gets unicorn magic stories before but this is by far the best I have seen. I'd love to see you write about scoots going forward with her magical education or learning to fly just continue this is great!

5168609 Is there too much spacing or not enough? This story wasn't written on this site: it was written as an RTF in Wordpad and then uploaded to Googledocs and then transferred to Fimfiction. It's possible that somewhere in that process some formatting got wonky. Now that I look at it, it does look like there's a lot of space between words... I'm too lazy to check as to whether it's the same as fimficiton's default though.

5169182

Im talking about the spacing between each paragraph, or the lack of spacing. Its a great story and I enjoy reading it. But the lack of spacing between paragraph makes it more of a chore to read.

Sry, I meant to say paragraph.

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