This story is a sequel to Magic Ears
The CMC is Ponyville's premier problem-solving organization. Though it consists of only three young mares, they rarely fail and their skills are a valued asset to Princess Twilight Sparkle. When Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom are sent to Canterlot on what seems to be a routine, if high-profile, assignment, an unfounded urban legend will turn out to be a very real (and unique) quarry.
*author's note* I'm still learning the craft, so I'd appreciate any feedback you have!
Chapters (4)
We hath observed what thou hast performed there!
5859319 I'm glad someone did! Would you believe that 'Otiluke' is actually in the spell-check? It corrected it for me when I wrote it!
5860258 If you're using Firefox, I'm not as surprised as I feel I should be.
5861338 Chrome, actually. I need every spare pixel for tabs.
well it is very strange in the good way but hey i i'm i guy that watches ghostbusters 1&2 on a daily basis so i like it
5861644 do u think u could make more storys between magic ears and this one i love scootaloo haveing magic just is so cool. so more story yes?
5880876 I'll never rule it out, but there are a few reasons I doubt it will happen:
1: I don't have any ideas for it.
2: I do have ideas for other things.
3: I don't want to be that guy who's writing his own alternate universe which no reader can get into without reading all of them, and yet there are only a couple people actually following the story.
3a: Judging by the response to this story, the general audience isn't interested, and I want to write stories that people will read.
4: If I did write something in this canon, it would probably be in this future setting. I can do more with it. I would like to write a story about a future-Twilight leaving Equestria for stranger adventures, but I probably won't because, again, it seems that people aren't really interested. More importantly though, I don't know if I could write something that long.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story, though!
5881877 ok well if any ideas come up for an inbetween story run it on deviantart first see if is good before posting it to fimfiction
Note: the following comment contains major spoilers. Do not uncover if you haven't yet read the story and plan to... which I encourage you to do.
For the most part, I enjoyed it - it was interesting to see the CMC in a more professional capacity, and I rather enjoyed their interplay. Although you could bring a bit more of their filly-personalities into it - not enough to overwhelm them, just so we can see that their still the same ponies. They're not OCs-with-canon-names or anything, and I liked what glimpses we saw, such as Scootaloo's brashness in confronting Shady or Apple Blooms Absentmindedness, I just think you could do a little more with them. Still, I enjoyed what we got.
That said, I'm not keen on the ending reveal at all. For three reasons:
1. It's kind of an anticlimax - you set up a powerful, violent force willing to attack the CMC (albeit non-lethally), scare an innocent mare out of her job and cost the treasury tens of thousands without remorse... and it turns out it's just Luna playing silly buggers. Really kind of a let down. Might have worked if this was a fully comedic story, but as it is... not really, I'm afraid.
2. It really doesn't work as a mystery. To put it at it's most basic... where are the clues? We're set up an interesting mystery, with a list of suspects that could provide some intriguing, well... intrigue. But it doesn't really use them. The only things that vaguely alluded to the reveal were Luna's comments on staying up during the night and the comment after Shady's interview that Celestia wouldn't do that... - but the former is fairly commonplace in stories with Luna in and the latter... well, I did actually consider Luna as a suspect after thinking that... and then dismissed her, because I really don't think she would be that cruel either, and certainly not that capricious. And with the end of Chapter 3... I'm all for red herrings, but that seemed to categorically show a hostile entity, and pulling a "it was a joke all along" after that just feels... cheap. Admittedly, you might not have been going for that sort of mystery story, but it felt like either you were or, given the potential with this scenario and these ponies, you should have.
and 3. (and my biggest complaint) It just doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the story. Whether or not you plan on writing more CMC Investigations stories (I personally hope you will, but it's your choice), this first one kind of needs to establish what tone and world you're going for - in this case, whether the presence and commonality of supernatural creatures is at Ghostbusters or Scooby Doo levels. The majority of the story sets it up as the former, but the actual reveal is definitely in the latter category. And I think I can see what you're trying to do - setting up the CMC as jaded to the supernatural so as to contrast that to the mundane (Well, as mundane as magic talking horses ever get, at any rate) solution.
However, it comes down to a show-don't-tell thing - it doesn't matter how much we're told about their various supernatural escapades, if what we're shown is a Scooby-Doo hoax, then that's what we're going to remember and take away from the story, which undercuts the whole idea of the Center for Magical Curiousities. Maybe if this was a later installment, when we've been categorically shown the CMC dealing with Ghost and Ghoulies and the like, but as it is...it just doesn't work.
I'm not saying it should have been "just a ghost" - I was looking forward to seeing what sort of twist it had, like... I don't know, an unconscious manifestation of Celestia's (Or Luna's, for that matter) gluttony caused by them denying themselves for too long. Or heck, maybe just one of their magical essences sleepwalking. But the "Lol, it was just the princess" ending... just doesn't fit, I'm sorry.
Sorry if this came across as overly critical or patronizing or anything. I did genuinely enjoy the story for the most part, which is why the ending rankled with me so. But these are just my rambling, 4-o-clock-in-the-morning thoughts (I feel for you, Scoots), so take them as you will.
PS. Sorry about having to highlight each paragraph separately. Apparently it's the only way I can do spoilers
5911056 Finally, some fleshed-out feedback! You've written a lot; too much for me to fully respond to. Suffice to say that I can see what you're talking about, and agree with most of it. I don't think it's an invalid argument just to say "the ending was bad." Certainly I say that of stories all the time. As the author of this story, it's difficult for me to see the merits of any given plot twist or surprise ending, since I know that it's going to happen, and perhaps I think of it with certain qualities which I haven't actually written down. Probably your most relevant of your criticisms is your observation that the story isn't funny enough for the ending to work. I certainly tried to make this funny, but it wasn't as much as I hoped it would be. My editor thought it was funny; perhaps his (and my) personal tastes gave me the wrong impression of how funny the story is, and thus how appropriate the ending is.
5881877 Well, know that you have at least one person who'd be willing to read more stories in this continuity that took place between the two stories.
I'd love to know how they actually started their investigations business.
6345593 Yay! A fan!
6349891 Here, have a Rainbow Dash to see how eager I am for another story in this series:
6349896 Oops, that three word comment was just the beginning of a longer comment, and I was using it to test the system (I'd been having some trouble). I didn't anticipate you actually being online! Here's the rest of what I was going to say:
A wise man once said that the key to creating good stories was to be a good writer and have a good idea. Now, I think I'm a pretty good writer, but at the moment I don't have any complete ideas regarding CMC Investigations. I haven't even considered a story about how they got started, but now that you've suggested it it does seem worth considering. Rest assured that if I have any ideas, I'll at least start to write it. Right now I'm wrapping up the first part of another story, which will probably appear in my posts after I've ran it past my editor.
6349912 All right.
I can't wait to see it.