• Member Since 27th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2017

Mally


Horse words and horse word accessories.

E
Source

Earth ponies have a special connection with the land they work. It's why they are so talented when it comes to urging nature to give up her bounty. Some Earth ponies take this connection to heart. Applejack is one such mare.

Written in an hour as a test.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 12 )

Stop making nice things so darn fast. You're making the rest of us jealous.

4448932

Considering how long it took me to put out /anything/ after writing Stalked Through the Forest (Published August 28th, 2012), I think my 'speed' is hardly enviable.

You want someone to be jealous of, look at RainbowBob. I would commit /so/ many mortal sins in order to have his prolificity

This story is actually rather touching. I've written plenty of hour-stories, but the last time I actually published one was years back, and it was nowhere near as pleasant as this.

This is a very feel-good story. This is the kind of thing that really embodies the Slice of Life genre. And I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of sadness at the line concerning "the previous owner of the hat."

All-in-all a good read. Keep up the good work, man.

Holy crap, I wrote a story EXACTLY like this one, albeit a comedy.

VERY freaking similar.

A beautifully satisfying tale. 'Nuff said.

4449568

It's uncanny.

Wow.

Okay, I walked into this expecting something simple and okay. And it is that, really, but I was pleasantly surprised by the strength of your prose. For something written in an hour, this is very well written.

All I really have are minor editing notes. Your sentences occasionally drag on a bit too long via overuse of commas, like so:

After all, there was one other lesson she'd learned, all those years ago, and as her friends wrapped her up in a group hug, almost knocking the hat from her head, she mulled over that teaching, passed on to her as a younger filly by the former owner of that hat.

The same thing happens to me at times, and it's not necessarily wrong, but too often and it can break you out of the story. Just a note for the future to watch your construction, really.

That's all I have for such a small thing. Very tightly executed, never repeats itself, and very compelling. Nice work. I'll move on to your other story at some point.

4474664

You know, it's funny. One of the things I've been getting after Ajaxis for while editing the early chapters of The Trancer is an abundance of commas. So pointing out that I've got that issue going on here got a wry chuckle out of me. I'm tempted to go in and do a little bit of editing to catch that, but I feel that would be cheating, what with the whole 'write a fic in an hour' challenge I gave myself. Pretty sure editing after that hour is hardly within the spirit of the rules.

Thank you for your kind words, and for the criticism: it's certainly something I shall have to keep an eye out for in my next fic.

The beauty of this story is that no matter you read in-between the lines or not, the reader still feels that they have grasped a true moment in Applejack's life with or without explanation of what feeling Applejack has. It is honestly a short and sweet story that truly captures the essence of slice-of-life. No twinge of sadness nor a dark foreboding past like most stories do, it captures the "now" of that moment and it definitely proves to be a very very wonderful read.

Hope to see more of your stories,
The Watcher

A wonderful snippet about one of my favorite pony topics, earth pony magic. Thank you for it.

(Of course, Pinkie converses in a completely different language. It's mostly ones and zeroes. :pinkiehappy:)

You say it doesn't go anywhere, but I really felt like I was along for a nice walk.
Very well written.

Short and simple. Nicely done!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!