• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Esle Ynopemos

Was that me? Or was it... somepony else?


Golden Harvest is not jealous. Sure, her neighbor Applejack has a life of adventure and glamor, friends who are national heroes and princesses, an appallingly lucrative share in the local fruit market, and firm, toned flanks. And sure, by contrast, Golden Harvest has been stuck with her snout in the same old muddy patch of carrots pretty much every day since she earned her cutie mark, her best friend is a dentist, and her idea for a 'Carrot Juice Season' never really gained much ground for some reason. But Golden Harvest is not jealous.

Not jealous at all.

She just wishes Applejack would stop being so distracting.


Pre-read by Midnight Herald and Communist Bob (no link).

Chapters (8)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 419 )

Normally, I don't go for romantic comedy. (because they're usually 9 parts comedy to 1 part romance) But this one is off to a great start. Looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:


Okay, I'm in.


I think I may have to read this. :raritywink:

Words can barely describe how stoked I am for this story. :pinkiehappy:

Dumb Applejack. :twilightangry2:

This has caught my attention.

3930747 Heh, ironically enough, I actually used that exact image as reference when making the cover image.

But I didn't use the image itself for a reason. Thank you for the suggestion, but I'll stick with the cover I've got.

3930798 Fine. :pinkiesmile: I have yet to read the story. I'll read it once it's complete. I just noticed the cover image and posted that comment immediately after seeing it. Sorry for the bluntness of that last comment. :twilightblush:

3930831 No worries! I've had stories hobbled by poor cover art before, so it's good to be watching out for it. :twilightsmile:

3930521 3930553 3930620 3930796

It's encouraging to see a positive reaction. Hopefully the subsequent chapters don't disappoint.

Hee hee hee.Oh Carrot. I like where this is going, yes I do.

Golden Harvest made a rude gesture back. Actually, she smiled and waved back, because there was a deep-seated primal instinct in the pony psyche that made her automatically respond to friendly greetings. It was considered the height of class in Canterlot to be able to suppress this reflex; wealthy ponies took classes and spent long hours practicing their cold and aloof scoff. Golden Harvest liked to tell herself that by waving to Applejack, she was secretly being very rude.


Howdy, howdy, howdy. Look at mah dumb hat.

Ahhh-hah. Ahhh-hah. Gimmie that back!

So far I like where this is going. Not often you see Carrot Top as a main character.

3931176 Glad to see someone caught the reference.

I don't believe I've ever seen a story with Carrot Top/Golden Harvest (due to the time at which I joined the fandom, her canon name has stuck with me, though I realize many folks prefer Carrot Top; there will be a nod to this at some point) as the protagonist before. A supporting role, very occasionally, at best. I figured I ought to change that.


Well done in that case. Hope this goes far.

Good stuff, good stuff! Really enjoying things so far. Now if only I could write that kind of comedy coming from annoyance. Ah well, I'll come up with something someday... should watch the cartoon again.

Good start, bonus points for novelty...!

It's about time another good Carrot Top fic came around. We need more of her.

Stupid sexy Applejack. I feel for you Carrot. Not only does Applejack have a family to help her out, she has huge....

tracts of land.

3931760 Another? You mean there's more out there? :pinkiegasp:

I love the humor in this story, so I'll be keeping an eye on it. Upvote from me.

Quite well in deed my good pony! Indeed.:moustache:

Title of this fic is quite fitting.

It's always a joy to read your works, Esle. Keep it up! :ajsmug:

I've always had a soft spot for stories with unreliable narration. This one, of course, takes that concept and skews it entirely through rose (or should I say, moss) covered glasses, portraying the world through the eyes of a jealous little bippy.

Genuinely, this is something not at all easy to do, and something that really needs a lot of control and planning. There is the balance required to tell, in her voice, what she's trying to say in her opinion, and what she really means through subtext and between-the-lines suggestion.

And I think you pulled it off splendidly.

It was great fun to read. I laughed more times than I normally do in a day, and I think you've genuinely won me around to her point of view. Applejack used to be best pony. But now she is just a stupid. A great big stupid. I SEE now! I understand the truth!

The best part of this story has to be the skewed logic that you implement to turn every action or thought into something negative. Especially interesting to me was that one bit about waving and rude gestures. It really is that spark of creativity and spin that is more than welcome in a story such as this.

Good start. I'm looking forward to more.

3930963 I cheated and went and read them on the GDoc. :scootangel:

They didn't disappoint.

I'd love to gush about, like, all of it, but I won't since spoilers. I'll have to remember to come comment again when you upload the last chapter. :ajsmug:

I'm really glad this is up ... for some reason didn't get notified, but I'm really glad this is up.

3932236 I do believe this is my first ctk comment. I recall this being one of my goals when I first started writing for this site, so thank you for making my day.

Also, yes indeed. Stupid, sexy Applejack.

:ajsmug: "Feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all!"

3933634 Sometimes the notification system screws up. I've had some stories I was following update, and I didn't know about it until I saw them in the update slots in the feature box.

Thank you for helping ready it to be up. :pinkiesmile:

3933235 :twilightblush: You have hit on exactly what made this so much fun to write. Unreliable narration is wonderful fun to work with; you get to put yourself in the shoes of a character with an agenda, and you get to feel terribly clever when you come up with a way to portray events in a way that serves that agenda, and you get to implement all these character quirks in portions of the text you don't usually get to use for quirks... lots and lots of fun.

3933244 Cheater! Applejack is disappointed. :ajsleepy:

Nah, it's okay. It's there for pre-readers, but I imagined a few folks might spoil themselves on it. Just bear in mind that what hasn't been published yet is still subject to change. I wonder if I should disable that link to remove the temptation?

I can suggest three if you're interested.

Also, cool story, Bro.

3934194 Should have focused more on those carrots.

3933786 Beh, my pleasure. :pinkiehappy:
I'll probably be over on the Gdrive to yell some more, since
that's a good thing now.


Wow, people sign up to get a comment from me? Neat!

Added to Read Later!

Well, there was this, but probably only old TMPers have ever seen it.

Speaking of which, RIP.

Golden Harvest could just picture it, Applejack rising from a panting, sweaty heap of mares, locking eyes with the blue one, and growling, 'Yer next, sugarcube...'

Welp, I'm sold. :rainbowkiss:

3934194 This is what happens! This is what bucking happens if you're not on top of your carrot game! Applejack, cut out that tree-kicking! You think the Saddle Arabians would want a carrot like that?

3934771 :raritydespair: I know, and it makes me so sad. TMP inspired some of the best stuff I've written. Heck, this story itself started as a TMP prompt! I understand their reasons for shutting down, and they have had an excellent run, but it's still a shame to see them go.

3935039 Now how did I guess that part would be something you approved of? Fair warning, that's about as appledash-y as this one gets.

3934373 Congratulations, you're internet-famous.

3934111 If you wouldn't mind. Golden Harvest doesn't seem to have as much fanon built around her as, say, Lyra, so it'd be interesting to see what direction other writers have taken her in, and how it differs from what I've got.

What can I say, I'm predictable. :scootangel: As lng as there's no dreaded white and orange happening here, I'll still be satisfied with this! ... :trixieshiftright:

Actually, she smiled and waved back, because there was a deep-seated primal instinct in the pony psyche that made her automatically respond to friendly greetings. It was considered the height of class in Canterlot to be able to suppress this reflex; wealthy ponies took classes and spent long hours practicing their cold and aloof scoff.

I really like this headcanon. It explains quite a lot about Equestria's urban centers.

In any case, definitely looking forward to more. Not sure what I like more, Harvest's impenetrable thicket of denial or the prospect of seeing it unravel.


Waaaay back in the early days of the fandom, *cane wave* This comic appeared. It pretty much started the whole friendship between Derpy and Carrot Top which became a thing.

Then there's Going Up made by a resident Carrot Top fan. I did a reading of it too.

The Purloined Pony, a much older work made by the same guy. A Choose Your Own Adventure story even. Don't see much of those. It definitely gets my recommendation.

Long Story Short, Things Went Down Is one I haven't read yet, but it apparently stars Carrot Top, and I've heard good things about it.

And then there's Sparkle's Law, which I think Is a great story. Carrot Top plays a pretty significant, if a bit flat, role here.

Sorry if all that's a bit much.

...Also related.

Colgate, Carrot, and AJ? Color me interested and sign me up.

But what Golden Harvest wanted most of all, above all else, was her neighbor, Applejack. For her neighbor Applejack, that was to say, to cut out that racket and let her concentrate on her garden. She was being incredibly distracting over there, lining her haunches up with an apple tree, bunching up the powerful muscles in her hindquarters, and 'thwack,' spilling a shower of apples from the tree with just a single strike. It was terribly inconsiderate of her. Golden Harvest wished Applejack would stop showing off and let her get to work.

Oh this one is going on the reading list. :twilightsmile:

3935909 Is that comic where the Carrot Top/Derpy convention comes from? I had wondered, since I didn't remember seeing anything in the show to really suggest a connection between them.

I wasn't terribly impressed with Long Story Short. Not my kind of humor. Carrot Top is involved, but off-screen for most of the story as far as I read.

Sparkle's Law, on the other hand, is great. But again, Carrot Top serves a supporting role there, cast as Applejack's rival and Carrot Family analogue. I wouldn't call it a Carrot Top fic.

I'll have to add those other two to my Read Later list, though.

Oh, this story looks promising. The romantic elements are strong if one-sided and solely physical at this point, but with the alluring descriptions its hard not to sympathize with Carrot Top's crush. The humor is actually funny, and helps to show how much Carrot Top has repressed her emotions without necessarily giving the reason away straight out of the gate. You even managed some world building, which blends well with the plot. Overall, a fantastic job so far! I cannot wait to see more. Please say that the update rate will be consistent...

Great buildup to a hilarious conclusion. You got the tone of bitterness down really well(which is to be expected, considering that the title has the word "bitter" in it). Golden Harvest's narration felt jumbled and disorderly enough so that you could really feel her distraction with Applejack and her stewing resentment over it, but you did it without making the story seem confusing.

Really well done. :twilightsmile:

PS: Lesbian cult? Had me dying. :rainbowlaugh:

This is gonna be good. I shall observe with interest. :rainbowdetermined2:

Yessiree! That there comic is the origin of it all. Derpy and Carrot Top's friendship, as well as the whole fridge raiding thing.

And my apologies, when I said three I meant those first three. Those other two came as afterthoughts of Carrot Top appearances. Man, there really is a distinct lack of Carrot Top/Golden Harvest stories. Good thing you're writing this.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!