• Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Craine


An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.

T

Featured on Equestria Daily, December 28, 2013!

What could a smug, arrogant, disrespectful, inconsiderate, country-town farmpony possibly have to offer a seamstress down on her luck? Migraines, premature wrinkles, a revolutionary new fashion line, and a burning attraction that they'd both deny until the moon crashed into Equestria. That's what.

Rated "Teen" for suggestive themes, crude humor, innuendo, and shameless drama written by yours truly.

(Many thanks to the ever-helpful Pearple Prose for his generous proofreading and suggestions. And an extra-special thanks to the fiction and fanfiction authors that have helped push my writing skills to new heights.)

Enjoy!

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 94 )

Oh god! that was just awesome!:raritystarry::rainbowkiss:
Really good story:ajsmug:

Wonderful stuff! I was totally invested in this. Poor Rarity. Just wanted to hug that silly horse.

Why is this not in the featured box?! :raritydespair:

Story deserves more credit then it got right now. It's really good.

This is really good. A near perfect Rarijack origin story. Bravo!

:heart:... Ok that's was an AWESOME story!

God damn confuzzling emotions.

3372519 Why thank you! I tried. :twilightsmile:

3372615 Well, I did try to make it as engaging as possible. And you wanted to give Rarity a hug? What about the pony freaking out about changing her name for no good reason. She needs love too! :pinkiesad2:

3372761 Oh man, oh man. Surely we've talked about this before. Though, now that I'm really lookin' into it, it seems most of my followers aren't reading my work anymore. *sighs* Can't blame them, really; most of them liked that I could crank out stories weekly. Now that I can only manage few and far between?

Popularity suffers :pinkiesad2:

3372784 I thought that for the briefest of moments until I accepted defeat. Alas, I struggle on.

3373125 Score!

3373350 Thank you! I was a bit winded from 'there already in relationship' stories, so I cranked out this baby. Gotta say, despite the low ratings, I'm satisfied with it. Happy you are as well :pinkiehappy:

3373406 *Engage the Smug*

3373899 The best kind, my friend. The best kind.

3374425
Funny, I actually prefer romance stories that start in a relationship and then throw trouble at them.

A typo:

Rarity was still tired and unfocus.

I believe you meant unfocused.

And this totally cracked me up:

“Pinkamena. Diane. Pie.”

And just like that, Pinkie’s ears fell flat by her head, her sentence falling dead on her tongue, and her eyes helplessly trapped by the farmer’s glare.

“Sit.” Applejack commanded.

Pinkie’s rump hit the dirt with a dusty *plop*

AJ you are way too awesome:moustache:

This was awesome!

Found a few typos:

dedicated mare that saw passed problems and found only

- past

Again, Rarity lifted a shaky hoof to her lips, her sights trapped by Applejack’s fiery emerald-green eyes.

- sight?

“Quite,” Rarity replied with a much enthusiasm.

- as

Applejack didn’t answer, and somehow, she knew Rarity was okay with.

-with it?

This needs more views. Awesome story! I don't usually read RariJack but now I'm reconsidering...
:D
I like the way you described the scenes, they were perfect :)

Tsundarity is actually a little frightening. Remind me never to cross that mare. :rainbowderp:

Just.....yes. That's all there is to it.:ajsmug:

3374640 Don't get me wrong, I do to. But I swear to the Big Man upstairs, If I see a another fic begin with 'So-and-so was cuddling with her marefriend', someone's gonna get shot.

3374994 Yes! I have succeeded! To be honest, I thought the ending would put people off. Guess I was mostly wrong! :pinkiehappy: Thank you for your comment and fave!

3376080 All hail Applejack, Tamer of the untamable. Breaker of the unbreakable. Commander of the disobedient--F**K! Broke the pattern...

3376201 Well that certainly SOUNDS like RariJack... Thank you!

3376217 Must... FIX!

3377539 Ehhh... As with most of the stories I actually put effort into, this one will fall in the 'underrated' category. But that's okay! With as much work I put into it, and how detached I had to be while editing it, I think it turned out better than most of my fics. I'm grateful you think so highly of my descriptions! Indeed, they are my niche when it comes to writing, I just had to mesh it together with 'storytelling'. Very fancy...

3378670 Wait... What?? Who??? I don't even... ... ... :rainbowhuh: You did NOT just make a Naruto reference.

3379164 Here, here!

This gonna get good...:pinkiehappy::raritystarry::twilightsmile::ajsmug:

3380590 Tsundere is a Japanese character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing his or her warm side over time.

So more of a manga/anime reference than anything.

Why the heck doesn't this story have more likes? Seriously, it's almost criminal!

I'll post a longer review tomorrow after some sleep. For now, just know that you have written perhaps the greatest Rarijack ever.

this was totally awesome im surprised that it doesn't have more likes

Okay, so full comment here!

This story is simply one of the best Rarijack stories I have ever had the pleasure to read. The fact dialogue and descriptions of how each character was feeling were spot on. I never once felt like they were being stretched to fit the story.

The pacing was perfect for the story, especially when it came to the second chapter. The back-and-forth between Rarity and Applejack was both heartwrenching and touching. I also liked how Rarity ended up mirroring Pinkie's question, "Would it really be so bad?"

All in all, a stellar piece of writing. This should be showcased as an example of how to write shipping correctly. Thanks for the awesome read!

3381453 Ooooooooh. Now it makes sense. Strange. That wasn't really my intention for Rarity. The bitch just did her own thing with the situation I wrote, even as I wrote her. Or maybe that was just my subconscious viciously clinging to her character being a little bitchy. Eh. It worked out either way.

3382763 I'd have to say my first mistake was aiming for quality... That, or joining Fimfiction in 2013 :ajsleepy:

3383212 Yo... You have no IDEA how tempted I was to have her say that. Seriously... you don't.

3383341 I... Wow! There are a LOT of Rarijack romances on the site, and I didn't think mine would hold such an impact (as the low ratings would suggest). I'm actually overjoyed, and relieved, that you think so highly of it! :twilightblush:

I admit, the dialogue took a little effort to capture--at least for Pinkie and Twi. Capturing Rarity and Applejack was like reading an open book (no pun intended). Descriptions and reactions have always been a strength for me; helps to make things more impacting. But 'meaning' is what I worked for in this, and I'm glad I could deliver.

You can imagine my smile when I mirrored several things from the previous chapters. Just a little thing I need a little more practice in.

But enough driveling! I thank you for your kind and inspiring words. Thank you :twilightsmile:

Bravo, sah! Bra-vo. Simply smashing. You've captured the very essences of the characters, and shown them growing together in such an organic and, dare I say it, life-like way. Well, as life-like as you can get with pastel colored equines and drama-dies (Drama/Comedy) such as this. All in all, GOOD SHOW. 10/10, would read and like again.

Oh my sweet loving Christ, Craine.

So I finally got around to reading this (I favorited and upvoted it as soon as you published it because I just knew >_>) and I am just blown away.

Everything about this story is perfect. It was funny, it was touching, that moment with the god forsaken grandfather clock, auuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

This is the perfect Rarijack story. Unbelievably, undeniably perfect. I need to go put a third favorites box on my page now so I can fit it in. YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME!?

Side note though... There's a fair amount of typos. <_< If you ever want an editor, I would be honored beyond words to be said editor.

3387054 Oh, thank GOD! I was a bit worried I'd rushed the romantic payoff. Of course, I was worried about a LOT of things with that scene. So. Many. Things. *shudders* Thank you so much for your praise.

3389142 To be honest, I think the perfect Rarijack story is Home Grown by Absolutely Anonymous. I think that blows this one away, but I'm positively STAGGERED by your words, Lion! I knew it'd be a step above my previous pieces, but DAMN! All this praise has been inspiring, to say the least! Now, if only I didn't lose that stupid bet. God dammit...

Edit: I may take you up on that offer.

3377539 I feel the same im more a appledash or rarishy but this is so good

I only have one thing to ask. did any pony take that bet of 20bits? :pinkiecrazy: other then that loose end great read and im really happy for them

And HOW did I miss you posting THIS one! I got a lot of reading to do in the morning I guess.

I'm throwing money at the screen but it's not working. Why don't I have time to finish this before work? You stepped up your game for this one, the game that was already out of most peoples reach.

Wow, you definitely had me laugh a few times here. I loved this chapter. This is pure awesome RariJack :ajsmug::heart::raritywink:

This was beautiful! I loved it! It's so intense, so emotional, it's brilliant! I love it!

Here's a Happy Pinkie Pie for you! :pinkiehappy:

Ok that. was. epic. I mean, just pure awesome! I loved it! Epic win at the end there. Just Epicness. You get a happy pinkie pie as a prize :D :pinkiehappy:

Whee! <sing song voice> I enjoyed this!
3383212 Oh...I HAVE to use that line now. Somehow...

3481239 No! If you flood me with to many Pinkie-smiles, I'll... I'll *face twitches into permanent smile* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!

But seriously, thanks for the praise. I was actually surprised you read it all in one day :twilightblush:. Didn't think it was that gripping.

3481420 Excellent! That's what I was aiming for. And yes, I did step up my game for this one. I wanted a rival for 'The Turntablist', and I succeeded beautifully. If this makes it EqD (doubtful), it will shove 'The Turntablist' to the ground and laugh. And, God, that Abridged line was GOING to be used at the end of the epilogue, but I decided against it.

Not sure if regret...:trixieshiftleft:

Craine...

3482591 That's the power of the Pinkie, bro.

Quite a good lil RariJack story. Although it did kinda have a ton of them being passive aggressive to each other and I can't really see them doing the apple thing in the middle of town. Seems like Twilight and Pinkie would be more likely to see them doing it on a hill outside town or something.

The ending to this chapter blew me away, seriously-- Those lines about doing something in spite of knowing how it'll go, daaaaaaymn! :twilightsheepish:

Oh I'm gonna love this. I like how this story has Pinkie as the "oh they're in love" character as opposed to it usually being Rarity. I also really like the inner thought segments. They're awesome.

That was great. Seriously, it wasn't forced or rushed like some other stories. Also the making out in public. Beautiful. I condone rarijack now.

The funniest thing? I was getting more feels about how bad Twilight and Pinkie felt than what AJ and Rarity were going through :pinkiesad2::pinkiehappy:

Even when I knew it went well, it's just heartbreaking to know you've ruined friends' lives.:fluttercry:

Very good story, good reversal, good Rarijack! :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

They saved it, right at the end. Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh.

static.fjcdn.com/comments/I+_af77fbcbd341fa2d0b27d9fe5fe034e9.jpg

I'm not a huge fan of shipping, but godamn this was beautifully written. I love it!

You cruel person you, taking me for a ride that is three chapters worth and leaving me with an ending scene that SCREAMS to be written. What do you have to say for yourself? :rainbowkiss:
Because what I have to say for myself is that I love it and that you are a bad person and you should feel ashamed for making me love your work. :rainbowkiss:

More please~:pinkiehappy:

3381453 What you're describing is actually a Kuudere. Tsundere is alternating between anger and attraction, not coldness and attraction (that might be what you meant, but using "cold" as a description is a little misleading). But that's just a technicality.

Surprise? Pinkie? Naaaaaaah... :scootangel::pinkiecrazy:

I am flabbergasted by how awesome this story is, especially in the deftness and skill with which you handled the end of the second act and the epilogue. Instant favourite, absolutely no question! :pinkiehappy:

To be honest, I wasn't going to finish this story since I have some others I need to read. I'm so glad I didn't. This was incredible and would so read again and was so worth my time. I can't wait to see what you're going to write next.

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